CALAMITY : Legends Of The Chosen

Scene: Karl's Chariot Mode — En Route to the US

The desert stretched endlessly outside, but inside Karl's sleek armored chassis, the cabin was warm with flickering lights and the low rumble of engines.

Shojiro sat up front, arms crossed—but his smirk gave him away. Morgz was half-sprawled on the bench, hands behind his head, snickering. Zans sat in a dark corner with Kuro lazily coiled around his neck like a sleepy scarf. Leone had buried herself in a cloak, beet red. Enme looked like she was this close to starting a roast war.

And Max? Max leaned back with a smug grin on his face, arms behind his head like a king returning from conquest.

Karl was still driving in stoic silence. Poor guy. He didn't know what was coming.

Enme (grinning wickedly):

"Sooooo… anyone wanna talk about how our princess of precision barriers got turned into a gold statue in 0.5 seconds?"

Leone (muffled under her cloak):

"We're not starting this conversation…"

Morgz (laughing):

"Nah, we have to. Like—Leone! You went phantom mode, and then your clothes went ghost too!"

Shojiro (smirking):

"I blinked and she was just… air with attitude."

Leone (grabbing a water bottle and hurling it at Morgz):

"I swear if anyone makes an exhibitionist joke—"

Enme:

"Too late. I saw Morgz trying not to simp while shielding you."

Morgz (grinning):

"Hey, hey, I was being a hero! A true water-powered gentleman!"

Zans (deadpan):

"You blushed so hard, your droplets steamed."

Kuro (whispering):

"He wanted to drown and die happy."

Everyone cackled—even Leone, red as ever.

Then the conversation shifted.

Shojiro (pointing to himself):

"Okay, but we're gonna ignore the part where I tried to rip my own head off? No? Cool."

Morgz:

"Man went full 'if I can't be gold, I'll be headless!'"

Leone:

"Shojiro, you were literally screaming and still punching. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Shojiro (grinning):

"Muscle memory."

Enme:

"No, that's trauma."

Then everyone slowly turned to Karl. The roasting reached critical mass.

Max (grinning):

"And speaking of trauma—Karl. Buddy. Pal."

Morgz:

"How in all holy nanite science did you not see her armor vanish when she turned to sand?!"

Zans:

"Nanite genius. Zero observation."

Leone:

"Even I saw it. And I was literally naked and invisible."

Karl (groaning):

"I was focused on maintaining particle velocity and spatial lock! You think scanning her wardrobe was my priority?!"

Max (mock serious):

"Bro, she took your entire swarm and turned it into a bikini."

Enme (gasping dramatically):

"THE NANINI."

Morgz (howling):

"The Desert Queen said no drip for you."

Karl (slamming the dashboard):

"I HATE ALL OF YOU."

Then, like sharks smelling blood, they turned on Max.

Shojiro (grinning):

"Alright, Max. Your turn."

Leone:

"Yeah. Spill. How did it feel when Saria kissed you? Was it like, erotic, forbidden, or just… mummified thirst?"

Max (pretending to think):

"Hmm…"

Morgz:

"Don't you hmm us, lover boy. Was it hot or spiritually sinful?"

Enme:

"Was it like kissing sandpaper dipped in perfume?"

Zans (still emotionless):

"Did your soul moan?"

Kuro (mischievous whisper):

"Did you moan?"

Max (grinning like a devil):

"Let's just say… I forgot my own name halfway through. And remembered it again when she licked the drool off my lip."

Everyone:

"YO!!!"

Leone:

"I'm gonna throw myself out this chariot."

Karl (facepalming):

"I swear to Yggdrasil I will eject everyone."

Laughter filled the cabin. Just for a moment, they weren't warriors.

They were just kids on a road trip, limping away from death, toward the next fight.

But not broken. Not yet.

Outside, the desert parted endlessly.

Ahead—ruins, relics, revelations.

But for now?

They had each other.

And Max had a super-sexy mummy girlfriend.

The laughter still echoed through the cabin as Karl's engines purred against the shifting dunes. The Chosen sat scattered across the cabin like overworked mercs on a break… except Max, who was lounging like he just scored the final boss's phone numbered

Enme had stayed quiet for most of the roast session, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, but now?

Now it was her time.

Enme (coldly):

"You all forgot the part where I was turned into a statue before I even blinked."

Shojiro (snorting):

"Yeah, about that…"

Enme (rising):

"And you! Max!"

"I swear on every crystal in my arsenal, if you call that whole 'battle' a flex again, I'm electrocuting your ego into dust."

Morgz:

"Oh no. Enme's mad mad."

Leone:

"Oohhh here it comes—"

Enme (pointing a finger):

"We all struggled, we all died, and you got tongue-wrestled by a sand goddess and came back talking like you're Casanova of the Crypt?!"

Zans (murmuring):

"Sandanova."

Kuro (snickering):

"Queen of the Dusty Thirst."

Max didn't flinch. In fact, he leaned forward, smirking with theatrical flair.

Max:

"Okay, okay. Look. I admit it—what we fought wasn't even the real her. That Saria? That was a CLONE. With, like, a ten-millionth of her real power. And guess who still barely survived?"

Shojiro:

"You. We know. You said it twelve times."

Max:

"But did I mention she—quote—called me the strongest Chosen and basically offered me eternal mummy love?"

Karl:

"Not how she phrased it."

Max (ignoring him):

"Bro. That kiss? That wasn't just a kiss. That was a contract between lips and fate. If she'd said 'Stay with me forever,' I would've—"

Morgz:

"—said yes?!"

Max (arms raised):

"YES! YES I WOULD HAVE! I would've stayed in that pyramid, buffed her sand powers, kissed her dusted lips every morning, and raised mummy kids!"

Leone:

"What the actual hell."

Enme (flatly):

"So you're saying if any hot woman defeats us and kisses you, you're changing sides?"

Max (winking):

"Only if she's got golden armor and that dangerous woman energy. You saw her! She had Boss Battle music when she walked!"

Zans:

"You had romance music in your head. Very different."

Kuro:

"Max became the protagonist of a supernatural dating sim mid-fight."

Karl (shaking his head):

"You are not allowed near any more cursed temples."

Shojiro:

"Imagine we meet ARAE and Max starts flirting."

Max:

"Hey, if ARAE's got legs like Saria—"

Enme:

"SHUT. UP."

The cabin erupted again in chaos.

Leone was facepalming.

Morgz was wheezing into his sleeve.

Karl was genuinely questioning the future of humanity.

Shojiro laughed so hard he hit his head on the side panel.

And Max?

Max just laid back, folding his arms behind his head, looking smug as ever.

Max (grinning):

"Cursed? Maybe. But also kissed by destiny."