Chapter 15: Swiping Left
(6 months later)
"No no, you have to swipe right! Swiping left means you are rejecting them," Eureka, the God of Innovations growled, trying to pull the smart phone out of the War God's hands.
"Wait— No! Give it back. I was just getting the hang of it. And that honey totally swiped left—urrr—right on me!" Axel reached his hands out trying to snatch the device back without success.
"That honey wanted nothing to do with you. Let's make that clear. It was not a match," Eureka said, wiping the smudged screen with his sleeve. "This is a working prototype, Axel. Don't get your greasy fingers all over it while you're chowing down fried chicken."
Axel sat back in his chair at the Senior Council table, frowning while wiping his hands clean on his robe. The God of Innovation rolled out a series of new toys lately for testing, that he was planning to introduce to the Mortal Realm in a few hundred years. The new inventions would help move humanity into an age of communication, which would accelerate how fast they can work towards advancing technology. It would speed up the process of their capabilities of migrating and surviving on Mars.
There were so many new toys. First there was the internet, then there was the smartphone, and then the dating app. Axel particularly liked the dating app idea. Eureka managed to convince some of the hottest honeys and hunks in the Realm of Gods to use the invention.
Available love matches at a swipe of the finger. Axel thought the idea was genius. It's like introducing the mortals to magic. He didn't particularly understand why Eureka thought the invention would serve to lower the birth rate of humans. If people were able to find one another, wouldn't they have more sex? Essentially have more babies? Wouldn't that be counter-active to Project Axel?
But he really really liked the dating app, he thought with pouty lips. "I just don't understand why the dating app would cull human procreation. If the mortals are meeting and banging, then they're going to have babies."
Eureka let out a long sigh. He had explained it to Axel at least 10 times already. The logic of it was not going to get through to him. "Can someone please explain it to him one more time? I give up. His skull is just too thick."
Cedric, the Humanities God, grinned in response to his buddy's frustration. "It's not that he doesn't understand. He just doesn't want to believe that people would procreate less with the existence of the dating app."
He patted the War God on his shoulders. "It's really simple, Axel. It has to do with vanity. Once you give the mortals access to dating apps, they will be flooded with more spousal options than ever before in the history of mankind. With unlimited options, combined with a dose of fickleness, they won't be able to decide on who they want to date, marry, or start a family with. Some will even think they are too good for any one person. Essentially, a large majority of humans would never commit to anyone. They will find pointless flaws in one another and maintain excuses not to settle down. Human vanity will be the ultimate tool to put the population in check."
Ahhhh…. My poor children, The Goddess thought miserably. She had hoped her brood of millions would mature enough to not be blinded by their own vanity, but she knew that was a lost cause. Humans are notoriously unreliable.
"Mortals who find love on dating apps, would truly be considered miracles," Cedric said, finishing his explanation.
The look on Axel's face was blank. He just arched an eyebrow at Cedric in response. Nothing got through.
Eureka looked like he was about ready to cry. Cedric patted his back. "It's okay, man. Innovation is hard and often misunderstood."
The other alpha gods seated around the table nodded their heads, trying to hide their mirth at Eureka's expense.
"Yo, Sky! What did you think of the app?" Axel asked with emphasis on the last word, still trying to get used to the concept of the invention. "Did you swipe right on any honeys?"
"Uh… No, I didn't," the Sky God answered quickly, glancing over to Moon before looking away. "No one worth swiping caught my eye."
The Goddess arched an eyebrow in response. Even she swiped right on a few "honeys" and "hunks."
Aero, God of Air, chuckled swiping right on a water nymph. "Why would you even ask him that in front of the Moon Goddess? He would never allude to looking at another goddess, nymph, fairy, mermaid, she-demon or whatever with a vagina while she's here. He's effectively been neutered."
A few snickers could be heard in the room. All of a suddenly, a loud thud came from under the table and Aero jumped up from the table with a howl, rubbing his shins furiously. His gray eyes flashed daggers in Sky's direction, who matched his glare with one of his own.
Moon was having a hard time hiding the smile that spread across her lips. She had to look down to stop herself from snickering. She must admit that this smartphone was impressive. The photos taken by the device are all so crisp and clear. Way more impressive than the Polaroid. Innovations are evolving so quickly. Eureka really outdid himself this time.
"Did anyone tell Kai and Hel that we are testing out the dating apps today?" Axel asked, referencing the Sea and Underworld deities.
"I told Kai," Eureka said with a shrug. "He said he would tell Hel, but they didn't seem that interested."
Cedric tsk'd tsk'd while shaking his head. "Those two take things pretty personally. Give them some time. They will come around."
The Goddess scrunched her forehead in thought. She didn't want to be constantly at odds with the Sea God and the God of the Underworld. The tension between them was palpable, and it made it difficult to approach them for anything, even simple negotiations or treaties.
She made a mental note to reach out to those two in the future. Perhaps they can all work together on a branch of Project Axel.
She looked over at the Sky God, marveling at how the man managed to get along so well with every deity in the realm. There were so many different personalities to work around. Perhaps he was the ultimate extrovert.
At that moment, his green eyes shifted away from his smartphone and met hers. She quickly looked away, feeling like she had been caught doing something wrong. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she remembered how close they had come to kissing just a few months ago. She hadn't brought it up since, and neither had he. But it didn't stop her from thinking about that moment a lot though.
Her mind was constantly wandering down a visited path that she swore never to take a stroll in ever again. Memory lane is perhaps the most dangerous road in the mind.
She chose to use that moment to excuse herself. "You guys, I'm going to take a quick break," she informed, placing the smartphone on the table in front of her. Moon pushed her chair back and stood up.
"Going to check on the mirror again?" Cedric asked, his face softening with empathy. He is a sweet man.
She could always count on the God of Humanities to be understanding about her plight. "Yeah. Gotta do the daily walk to the mirror. You guys continue. I'll be back in a sec."
"Take your time. Hope you find your rabbit," Axel said to her with a nod.
As she was leaving the room, she heard Axel ask out loud, "So, what happens when two people swipe right on each other?"
"They meet up and start banging like bunnies," Cedric responded with a sly smirk.
"Wait—What the fuck!" Axel felt disgruntled. "I thought you said they would have less sex!"
"That's not what he said at all. You weren't listening," the Innovation God pointed out, while rolling his eyes.
"That's not what you said at all!"
An argument quickly broke out between the two gods, while Cedric started laughing like a fiend, just as Moon shut the door quietly behind her. She shook her head at those guys.
You know… she thought to herself. This project so far hasn't been too bad. They're actually a pretty fun group to hang out with. They definitely contradicted a lot of misconceptions she had of them before.
She took her daily walk down the hallway of the Senior Council chambers, her steps heavy with the weight of her thoughts. It had been months since Tuzi had disappeared, and there had been no sign of her. The Realm of Gods was a timeless place, but to Moon, the time since Tuzi's disappearance felt like an eternity.
Every day was the same, a routine of hope and longing. She would approach the room with a feeling of anticipation, pushing open the large wooden doors to the little office. The large divine mirror hung on the far side of the wall, its silver surface reflecting her own face.
Moon would stand before the Mortal Mirror, her eyes fixed on her reflection. With a flick of her wrist, she repeated the words that she had asked it hundreds of times before:
"Show me Tuzi."
As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, she braced herself for another day of disappointment. But then, her reflection began to melt away, and the imagery began to swirl.
Moon took a step back in surprise, her blue eyes stretched wide in disbelief. She gasped, unable to believe what she was seeing.
Her hands began to shake violently, the thumping of her heart drowning out any other sound in the room. Moon was trembling as she reached out to touch the mirror.
There, framed between the gilded edges of the divine mirror, was Tuzi. She was lying somewhere in the dark, brutally injured and bleeding profusely. She was not moving.