Broken Possessors of Infinite Regression Academy

The masters of the magic towers were people who had reached the pinnacle in their respective fields. Simply presenting an excellent magic spell wouldn’t have been enough to gather them all in one place.

So, I had prepared a healing magic formula. I sent a letter claiming to have discovered a new magic spell and enclosed the healing magic formula with it.

However, I had intentionally removed the crucial parts that would have made it function as a healing magic, only revealing the overall outline. I calculated that this would be enough for them to recognize it as a new magic spell.

The result was an overwhelming success. Not only had I gathered all the masters of the magic towers in one place, but I had also made them so curious that they were willing to tolerate my use of informal speech and watch what I would do next.

“I lost both arms! Heal me first!”

“No way! I lost both legs, so I should be first!”

“Get out of my way! I tore out two-thirds of my heart! I’ll die of blood loss in a minute!”

In other words, they were so eager to try out the new magic that they began to argue over who should be healed first, even amidst the bloody chaos.

“Get out of my way! I tore off my wings and tail, so I have three more body parts missing than you! Everyone else, get behind me or shut up!”

“Ugh…! Why wasn’t I born a mutant with more limbs?!”

‘Hey, didn’t you say maintaining Dragon Transformation would kill you?’

Even the magician I met at the entrance, who had lamented that maintaining Dragon Transformation for 30 seconds would cause his body to explode, was now roaring that he should be next in line, having torn off his wings and tail.

Next to him, other magicians were lamenting their lack of extra limbs.

They were all insane.

“I can heal all of you at once, so stop fighting!”

If I left them any longer, someone might actually die, so I cast a healing magic circle over the entire Grand Auditorium.

As the green light enveloped their bodies, the magicians screamed with joy, twisted their bodies, and thoroughly enjoyed the healing magic.

‘I thought the side effects had kicked in.’

The healing magic did its job regardless of my thoughts. The Grand Auditorium, which had resembled a slasher movie set, returned to normal.

“Oooooh! My arm has been restored!”

“This is a revolution! A revoluuuuution! Evoluuuuution!!!!!!”

“We can now go beyond magic! A new horizon will open!”

The magicians, with an average age of 90, jumped for joy, clutching their restored limbs. It was a little too enthusiastic for a group of 90-year-olds.

Their insane behavior made me frown. I had expected this, but seeing it unfold before my eyes was a bit much.

“Kyyaaaah!”

A scream filled with joy rang out from somewhere. I turned my head, wondering what now. It was the female mage who had claimed to be the best, despite having had her arms, legs, wings, and tail torn off.

“It’s healed! The draconification is healed!”

At the mention of her draconification being cured, the mages, who had been basking in their joy, rushed over.

“It’s true…! Even the archmage could only suppress the symptoms…!”

“Is it truly possible to suppress the dragon’s blood…?”

As they exclaimed and marveled, everyone simultaneously turned to look at me, as if on cue. In their eyes, I could see a burning desire and determination. They wanted to know the formula for the healing magic and were resolved to find out by any means necessary.

“What do you need to complete this magic? Tell us anything—funds, money, research grants?”

A young-looking man sprang to his feet and shouted loudly. Before I could respond, another mage pulled out a communication device.

“It’s me. Cut all funds for the new project immediately. We’re diverting it elsewhere.”

—What?! But it’ll be completed in a few days!

“Just do it! Since when do you question my orders?!”

The mage ended the call and smashed the communication device, then started staring at me intently, making his appeal clear. I could hear similar actions being taken all around me.

“It’s already a completed formula, so no further research is needed. Just finish what you were doing. What are you doing to someone who said their project would be done in a few days?”

“It’s me. Restore the funds for that project. Support it as much as they want.”

—What?! I just told them we’re cutting the funding after getting chewed out!

From the other side of the communication device, another wail of despair echoed. The mage, having painstakingly restored the device, threw it again, smashing it once more. Similar sounds echoed around me yet again. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for their subordinates.

“Everyone, quiet. I’ll do the talking, so just listen quietly.”

The mages all fell silent. The lecture hall became deathly quiet. Some mages even went as far as to seal their own jaws.

“Hmm, it’s a bit much to speak while standing. Someone bring him a chair, please.”

Immediately, someone rushed over and knelt behind me. It was the female mage who had cut off my arm earlier. She knelt on the ground, her hands on the floor, half-lying down with her back arched slightly to emphasize her hips and chest, looking up at me seductively.

“What are you doing?”

“You asked for a chair, right? Here it is. Soft and cushy, with automatic posture adjustment. It can even keep you company if you’re bored—a top-quality chair.”

“……”

As I stood frozen in place, utterly dumbfounded, other female mages started to approach me, perhaps mistaking my reaction as favorable. Their clothing became more revealing in real-time as a bonus. The male mages, on the other hand, were either holding their heads in despair, lamenting why they weren’t born female, or picking up their communication devices, determined to create a spell that could turn them into women.

“Get me a chair, a normal one.”

“……Here.”

Before things could escalate further, I quickly took control of the situation. A female mage, looking rather dejected, brought over the chair she had been sitting on. The other female mages, who had been approaching in scanty outfits, and the male mages, who had been questioning their gender identity, all stopped what they were doing at the sight. I was genuinely relieved they did.

I sat in the chair and, with a haughty expression, looked around at the tower masters before speaking.

“Anyone dissatisfied with me using informal speech, raise your hand.”

No one raised their hand. Not even the three archmages hiding among them. Whether it was simply for the sake of pretense or they genuinely didn’t mind my informal speech, I wasn’t sure.

“Good. That makes things quicker. As you’ve just experienced, that was a ‘healing spell.’ It’s also called a healing magic or recovery magic, but you can call it whatever you like.”

When I announced that it was indeed a healing spell, the mages collectively gasped. Some were already gasping for breath, struggling to catch their breath.

“As you can see, its effects are similar to or even greater than divine healing. It’s a tiered spell, so the highest tier would probably be several times more effective than divine healing.”

“So, what do we have to do? What must we do to receive your teachings?!”

Someone asked in a very urgent voice. Since it was they who were in a hurry, not me, I replied in a leisurely tone to make them even more anxious.

“I’d love to tell you, but unfortunately, I’m currently detained on charges of treason. Being accused of treason, what can I do but stay quiet and comply? Don’t you think?”

“Would it suffice if we cleared you of those charges?!”

Another mage shouted. I raised a finger and wagged it side to side.

“No, not clearing the charges, but removing the accusations altogether. Because, you see, the charge of treason itself was fabricated by Igor and his cronies. We were innocent from the start.”

“Hmm…! Understood!”

“The conditions I propose are three.”

I stopped wagging my finger and held it up.

“First, acknowledge that the treason charges against William Ercarencia Cresenne von Euperantis Bellium the Crown Prince and Mira Crate were fabricated by the deposed Crown Prince Igor and his faction. Think about it logically. Why would someone destined to become Emperor in at most ten years conspire with demons?”

I raised my right middle finger as I finished speaking. Since my index finger was already raised, I wasn’t making an obscene gesture. Not that they would have cared even if I had been.

“Second, the real person colluding with the demons is Igor. The deposed Crown Prince himself and all his supporters are enthralled by the succubus. Nobles, knights—no exceptions.”

There was a slight stir. While it was one thing for the deposed prince to be accused, the suggestion that nobles and knights were also enthralled indicated that demons had infiltrated the very heart of the Empire.

Finally, I raised my right ring finger.

“Third, the Starlight Church is also enthralled by the succubus. The Pope, the high priests, and even the lowliest members—all of them are acting as pawns of the demons. You’ve all heard about the incidents where they tried to abduct a Saint candidate and failed, or attempted to kill a Hero and failed, right?”

“……!!!!!!”

The commotion that spread was incomparable to before. I waited for the agitation to subside before continuing.

“Now, let me tell you what you need to do. Root out Igor and his cronies, dealing with those who are enthralled by the succubus, and uproot the Starlight Church completely. You’ll need to coordinate your attack on the church with your actions against Igor’s faction. If you attack only one side, the other will destroy evidence.”

The only reason the Starlight Church had managed to stay intact despite their various misdeeds was because of their divine healing, the only means of real-time recovery on the battlefield. But with healing magic available? There would be no need to rely on divine healing, and thus no reason to bow to the Starlight Church.

Several mages seemed to grasp this and their eyes grew sharp, having evidently harbored many grievances against the church.

“Oh, by the way, the Saint candidate is 100% innocent and has no ties to the demons, so you can leave her out. But her nun escorts aren’t, so deal with them as you see fit.”

I leaned back in my chair.

“How you handle them is up to you, but I can guarantee one thing: the sooner you finish the job, the sooner I can teach you the healing magic.”

No sooner had I finished speaking than a section of the building exploded with a loud bang, revealing the bright blue sky and the horizon beyond. The mages had blasted through the structure, flying off to their respective towers.

Blowing up a perfectly good building instead of using teleportation magic—utterly mad, but that’s what makes them so useful.

Even a tower master alone is a formidable mage, unmatched within their domain, and now with three archmages added to the mix, the outcome was inevitable.

“Let them run themselves ragged.”

Not that it would help them.

Feeling a bit regretful that I wouldn’t get to see Astaroth’s reaction when she heard the news, I started going back to Laura’s room.