Bringing some shocking pranks to the Cultivation World

Ah, I get it, I get it all.

Even with a bird's face, Zhou Li vividly dangled his dead-fish eyes and circled in discouragement, incessantly mocking the situation in his mind.

First, they hire someone to attempt murder, then a hero swoops in to save the officer, capturing my affection, and finally they tease out everything they want to know from me.

Is there more? Can we get any decent jobs? Why can't this garbage plot that wouldn't be shown even in the late-night infomercials just end? Can't you monsters and demons come up with something new?

Why not just kidnap me for interrogation, then I hold out until the seduction trick, and everyone's happy, isn't that possible?

Of course, all this was Zhou Li's internal rant and not what he actually meant. In reality, as soon as he saw Qianhu reveal his scorpion tail and casually stab the Ghost Monk to death, Zhou Li had everything sorted out in his head, missing only the guess on whether Qianhu's underwear today was a gusset or a crucifix.

However...

Zhou Li looked at the figure of Hundred Households and instinctively wanted to use his claw to stroke his chin, almost demonstrating how a bird could crash to its death. After stabilizing himself, he narrowed his eyes and murmured in his mind.

This clearly looks like Qianhu staging a murder, then planning to rescue me during a moment of crisis to win my trust. It seems that Qianhu's planning is watertight, with every detail accounted for. However, in reality, he didn't factor in Zhou Li's ability to transform into a bird, nor did he expect the presence of Guo Lingyun.

In fact, even if Zhou Li couldn't transform into a bird, if Guo Lingyun had exerted some effort, he and Zhou Li might actually be able to take down the Ghost Monk, at worst getting slightly injured. In that case, Qianhu, who was supposed to be a timely help, would end up merely gilding the lily, which would significantly differ from his original plan.

This little Hundred Households is quite a handful too.

Zhou Li, noticing that Hundred Households had already started looking for him and Tang Wan, knew it was time to make an appearance. Knowing he couldn't expose Bidiao's presence, he picked a spot not too close yet not too far, perfect for hiding his figure in the bushes, and transformed back into a human.

Oh, crap.

The familiar cool sensation, the familiar flight of the bird into the woods, leaves brushing against the body. Numbly, Zhou Li opened the Ten Thousand Vermillion Spirit Ling Zhu Sphere and stared at the ashes of his clothes consumed by fire and Bidiao next to him, feet kicked up, with a face that said "It wasn't me," and fell into contemplation.

It's never over, is it?

Closing the Ten Thousand Vermillion Spirit Ling Zhu Sphere and retracting it into the Eight Trigrams Fate Spinner, Zhou Li took a deep breath and shouted out. It was at that moment that Qianhu, following Zhou Li's shout, found him.

Upon hearing Zhou Li's voice, a joyful expression spread across Qianhu's face. It was a perfect expression, with a mix of relief, reflection, emotion, and a touch of wistfulness, the spitting image of a benevolent officer. He drew a deep breath, composed his emotions, and eagerly parted the foliage.

Just as he was using leaves to cover his lower half, Zhou Li looked up at the flabbergasted Qianhu and both were momentarily plunged into awkwardness.

Well, I have to cover up somehow.

Qianhu, initially ready to embrace Zhou Li with open arms, now had his arms stuck in mid-air, unsure whether to let go or hold on. Zhou Li, seemingly perceiving Qianhu's embarrassment, flashed an easygoing smile and took a step forward.

Suddenly, Qianhu involuntarily stepped back in fear.

A step forward.

A step back.

"You... You're okay, that's really good."

Fixating his gaze solely on Zhou Li's face, Qianhu felt his once perfect, warm smile start to crumble.

It's not that he had never seen a naked man before. After all, as a monster, he couldn't eat people with their clothes on—it made digestion difficult, so he always stripped his victims before savoring them carefully.

But the thing is, those were instances when he was about to eat someone. When the meal is served, it's cooked; who can tell what nakedness looks like. Moreover, he didn't expect that after an impeccable performance, what he'd face would be a bare man measuring his lower half with leaves, expecting a hug.

Who could stand that?

At that moment, Guo Lingyun found Tang Wan not far away, about to send off a pigeon. Hearing Tang Wan and Hundred Households' voices, Qianhu's taut nerves finally relaxed slightly.

Qianhu truly thought, no matter what, Tang Wan was a lady. You, a grown man, can't just casually interact with a decent girl, flaunting yourself; you've got to have some sense of shame, at least cover up a bit, right?

"Zhou Li, you!"

Parting the foliage, Tang Wan saw the awkwardly half-raised arm of Qianhu, and the nonchalantly composed naked man, and was momentarily stunned.

Yes, that's the reaction.

Relieved, Qianhu beside her let out a sigh of relief. That was correct, a respectable lady of the Tang Family should scream, scorn, and be infuriated upon such a sight. That way, he could continue his act.

"You've bulked up quite a bit compared to the last time you bathed."

Tang Wan sighed.

Shit, what kind of debauched relationship is this!

"It's been years since last time,"

Waving his hand, Zhou Li retorted.

No, what is this? Old flames being rekindled?

Not only Qianhu but even Guo Lingyun's expression was complex at the moment. It was then that Zhou Li looked toward Qianhu and spoke:

"Thank you both for your assistance. Just now, the Demon Monk's flames burned my clothes to ashes, and I had no choice but to reveal myself honestly. Please forgive my immodesty, esteemed sirs."

"I don't... I mean, no, it's fine, it's my duty."

After coughing, Qianhu then said, "Lingyun, do you perhaps have some spare clothes that this gentleman... could use for cover?"

"Ah, ah."

Guo Lingyun, just coming out of his initial shock, mechanically took off his cloak, exposing the Flying Fish Attire underneath, and then he threw the cloak to Zhou Li.

Zhou Li was not a nudity-loving pervert, so naturally, he donned the cloak in due course, covering his delicate body.

Once Zhou Li had dressed, Qianhu was finally able to adjust his attitude and looked at Zhou Li, saying, "This time, the Monster Hunter caused trouble, and the target was you, sir. There must be a reason for that."

Yeah, I disrupted your Golden Snake sister's plan and took what she wanted. Now she's desperate to approach me and take my things, so she sent you, a silly egghead Scorpion, to stage a performance.

Of course, Zhou Li couldn't say what he was really thinking, aware that the Scorpion Spirit definitely had ulterior motives. But the most pressing issue was that the opponent's strength could not be underestimated. If relations turned hostile, his group, even combined, would not be a match for him. Therefore, Zhou Li did not expose the other party, but instead followed the flow of their words.

"Alas, sir, you are not aware,"

Zhou Li sighed with a face full of helplessness:

"I am but a Monster Hunter from Beiliang, who came to Shangjing to investigate a missing elder. However, en route, I was trapped by a group of bandits. The leader of the bandits was surnamed Xu, named Sheng, wielding a long blade called the Ancient Ingot Blade. He has a tall stature and a dignified appearance, which earned him the nickname Xu Dabao. This Xu Dabao is quite extraordinary, he..."

In Zhou Li's account, Xu Sheng had taken the wrong path and joined the green forest thieves. He had captured Tang Wan and her classmates. But after Zhou Li and Tang Wan's eloquent persuasion, Xu Sheng immediately turned a new leaf, reformed himself and, carrying the steel blade, went to Spirit Vulture Mountain to sever ties with his blood brother Xu Ziyi in a ceremonial manner.

In the end, under Zhou Li's verbal onslaught, Xu Sheng decided to head to Spirit Vulture Mountain with Zhou Li and his companions. Upon reaching the peak, they saw the Immortal Spring gushing its waters, by the side of which Xu Ziyi was laughing heartily, while an innocent passerby lay in a pool of blood.

Who was Xu Sheng? Dongwu's number one blade!

Although Hundred Households and Qianhu had no idea what Dongwu was, according to Zhou Li, Xu Sheng had blood rushing to his head at that moment, swallowed a mouthful of strong liquor, and then, with steel blade in hand, rambled something about "violating my great Dongwu's eastern territory" and "sword first, liquor later," confusingly charged up and left Xu Ziyi dizzy with his slashes.

In the end, Xu Ziyi, overwhelmed by this "liquor, Ancient Ingot Blade, kill" advanced move, and bleeding profusely seeing he couldn't win, left threatening words about how the future was long, that he'd return to his Sect to bring some "Great Demon" and "Big Ghost" to crush us all, seize the Immortal Spring, and then vanished.

After spicing up and twisting the straightforward battle on Spirit Vulture Mountain into a convoluted mess, Zhou Li, gazing at Qianhu who seemed a bit disoriented by his story, narrowed his eyes and said:

"Therefore, I believe that the Demon Monk must be after the Immortal Spring."

"What about the spring water?"

Even though Qianhu knew that out of ten statements from Zhou Li, eleven must be false, he couldn't help but be swayed by Zhou Li's eloquence and involuntarily asked.

"Drank it."

Zhou Li spread his hands, saying as if it was the most natural thing in the world: "There were some appetizers available at the time. Considering the water was cool and sweet, I drank it all."

"Appetizers?"

Qianhu was stunned and asked perplexedly, "What appetizers?"

"Green peas."

Zhou Li chuckled heartily and innocently said, "Just not that many..."

"Only seven."