Bottom Trainer II (Pokemon)

Chapter 20: Chapter 689: The Alliance Has Its Fucking Rules



...

"Alright, you overgrown Bug-type bastards, here's the goddamn instrument." Natsu, that magnificent specimen, practically spat the words, already fed up with this whole fucking situation.

BANG!

Before Natsu could even finish his damn sentence, Genesect, a true powerhouse, just smashed the living hell out of that metal contraption. It crumpled like a goddamn tissue paper in front of him. Seriously, you'd think it was made of Bidoof droppings. That piece of shit technology didn't stand a chance.

Natsu, mid-sentence about some eloquent garbage, froze like a Mamoswine in an Ice Beam. He just kinda pursed his lips, like he'd just tasted a Potion that had gone bad. Good. Fucking excellent.

Whatever, it was just a useless piece of crap anyway, not worth the Poké Balls it was stored in. Honestly, the engineers who built that thing must've been on something stronger than a Rare Candy high, or maybe they just didn't give a damn.

This was probably the only way to get these Genesects to chill the hell out. If that goddamn thing hadn't been absolutely obliterated, all the trust Natsu had managed to build—which, let's be real, was about as stable as a Magikarp on land—would have vanished faster than a fart in the wind. Fucking disastrous.

Who gives a flying Fletchling about a broken instrument? Getting on good terms with these Genesects was a million, no, a billion times more important than some busted piece of junk.

You think Alliance bureaucrats would understand that? Fat chance! They're probably still figuring out how to use a goddamn Pokédex.

As the instrument became nothing but a memory and a pile of ash, the two Genesects on the ground immediately stopped looking like they wanted to tear someone's face off.

The four Genesects then seemed to be having a little pow-wow amongst themselves, probably gossiping about how dumb humans are and planning their next act of glorious destruction.

Natsu, being the surprisingly patient son of a bitch he is, didn't interrupt them. He just let them figure out their new, well, situation. Maybe debating who gets to smash the next useless piece of human tech.

Lance sidled up to Natsu, whispering, "Natsu, what in the sweet hell are those Pokémon, dude? They look like something a mad scientist and a Steelix had a very aggressive love child with. And they're terrifying as fuck!"

"Genesect, a Pokémon that was strutting its stuff, causing mayhem, and probably shitting on prehistoric trees 300 million years ago, my man," Natsu replied, his voice a low growl. "These bitches are old school."

"Three hundred million years ago?!" Lance's jaw hit the floor faster than a Snorlax after a long nap. "You're telling me they had tech like that back then? What, did they have Opus Magnum In their back? Or did some ancient arsehole invent the damn Moby-Dick?"

"Nah, don't be a damn idiot, Lance," Natsu explained, rolling his eyes. "They were probably brought back from the dead and then messed with by some modern-day chuckleheads. They're not the same as they used to be, bless their little, modified hearts. These poor fuckers are practically Frankenstein's monsters, courtesy of Team Plasma's insane agenda."

Hearing that, Lance just went quiet for a second. His brain probably short-circuited trying to process that level of scientific shenanigans. "Holy ass," he muttered, "no wonder they're pissed."

No wonder these Genesects hated Team Plasma's guts. They probably felt violated, like someone swapped their favorite berry with a bitter one, then forced them to wear an ugly sweater. Bunch of manipulative bastards, those Plasma guys. They're probably the reason why even the Porygons have trust issues and glitch out every five minutes.

"How the hell do you know all this, you brainy bastard?" Another question popped right out of Lance's mouth, laced with disbelief. "Are you just pulling this shit out of your ass?"

"Oh, you know, when I was downloading all that top-secret shit earlier, I took a quick peek at some lab research," Natsu said casually, as if he was just talking about checking the weather. "Figured I'd read something that wasn't a Pokédex entry for a damn Rattata. That's what happens when you're stuck in a lab with nothing but a shitty internet connection, you read whatever the fuck you can find."

He was telling the damn truth, after all. Didn't matter if the information was backed up by some fancy Alliance report or just scribbled on a napkin. Truth is truth, even if it comes from a guy who talks to Pokémon more than people.

"So, what's the plan with them now, fearless boss?" Lance asked, eyeing the Genesects nervously. "Are they gonna join our little gang, or are they gonna blast us to hell?"

After a moment of thought, Natsu slowly replied, "The info I saw said there were five Genesects, but surprise, surprise, there are only four here. Typical Team Plasma, can't even count to five, those incompetent fucks. Probably lost one during a coffee break."

He paused briefly, then continued, "And Colress, that smug, glasses-wearing prick, and most of the Team Plasma goons who were guarding P2 Laboratory probably skipped town. Probably ran off to some beach, sipping Poké-cocktails and congratulating themselves on being such absolute morons. Bunch of abandoning assholes."

Natsu's worst nightmare was coming true faster than a Speedy Scyther. Team Plasma had already occupied Lacunosa Town, those sneaky bastards. And their target was probably the legendary Kyurem chilling in the "Giant Chasm." That poor dragon probably just wants to nap, but no, Team Plasma has to ruin everything with their idiotic schemes.

Before, he thought even if Team Plasma wanted to seize Kyurem, they'd have to wait a few more years. Like, at least until he'd finished his damn breakfast and gotten a decent night's sleep. But no, these sons of bitches are always on some schedule.

But now?

Colress, that science-obsessed lunatic, had brought the strongest Genesect with him. That's like bringing a goddamn nuclear missile to a water gun fight, except the missile is sentient and pissed off.

The goal was crystal clear. It was to use the Genesect's power to confront Kyurem, and at the same time try to control or even capture it. Because, you know, controlling a godlike dragon always ends well for the bad guys. Always. It's never resulted in total planetary devastation, no siree.

He figured Team Plasma didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell against Kyurem alone; that dragon would probably just freeze them solid and use them as ice sculptures for their pathetic headquarters. But with that Boss Genesect? Hard to say, man. It's like bringing a knife to a gunfight, but the knife can also shoot lasers and fly and probably swear in ancient Pokémon tongue.

After a quick rundown of this apocalyptic scenario for Lance, he also grasped the gravity of the situation. His face went paler than a ghost-type Pokémon, probably thinking of all the paperwork this would involve. "Holy shit, Natsu, this is truly fucked."

"So, they... these walking cannons... are they gonna cause more trouble?"

"They're strong as hell, Lance, strong as a damn Onix taking a dump. And if we play our cards right, they might be some of the few crucial allies we've got to stop Team Plasma's bullshit. Think of them as very angry, very heavily armed roommates who just want their damn friend back. Don't piss them off, or they'll turn you into a damn Poffin."

As Natsu and Lance were gabbing, probably distracting each other with their impressive vocabularies, the four Genesects finally made a decision. Probably about what type of Pokémon they'd be having for dinner, or maybe just how many Alliance buildings they'd blow up.

The Genesect equipped with the "Burn Drive" approached and communicated with Natsu.

"Our leader was taken away," came a slightly hesitant and helpless sound from the immature voice. He sounded like a poor little Pokémon who just lost his favorite toy, except his toy was a powerful fucking Genesect.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, I know. Heard the damn intel. Colress is a real piece of work, isn't he? A pretentious little twerp who probably thinks he's smarter than Arceus."

"We're gonna find him." His voice had a fierce edge now. Like a pissed-off Exploud that just stepped on a Lego,"And if anyone gets in our way, they're dead meat."

"Hmm." Natsu grunted, already planning how to explain this to his mom. "Just another Tuesday, I guess."

"But... We do not know where he is, and we can't sense his signal." The Genesect's words sounded a little bit sad, like a confused Pokémon looking for its trainer. Man, even super-ancient cyborgs get emo sometimes. This is worse than a Jigglypuff lullaby.

You gotta be fucking kidding me. You're super advanced killing machines, and you can't even find your own damn leader? Natsu was stunned; he didn't know whether to cry or laugh. This was like asking a computer for directions and it tells you it can't find its own ass with both hands.

Natsu was uncertain if this Genesect had been sleeping too long, or if he'd been cooped up for too damn long, but they were absolutely terrible at communicating. They made a Bidoof look like a diplomat. Their social skills were worse than a lone Cubone.

"So, you're saying..." Natsu began, trying to piece together their convoluted request.

"HELP US, YOU BASTARD!" The Genesects screamed in unison, their voices echoing like a thousand pissed-off Aggron.

The four Genesects stood in a row, looking at Natsu with a hint of pleading. It was almost cute, in a terrifying, world-destroying sort of way. Like a pack of puppies with laser cannons.

The sincerity Natsu had shown earlier, probably by not immediately trying to catch them, had clearly won them over.

Who knew being a decent human being actually worked sometimes? Even with a bunch of incredibly dangerous ancient cyborgs.

"Look, I can help you," Natsu said, his tone genuinely sincere, though he still managed to throw in a jab, "but finding him will take time, and frankly, you're not in good condition. You need to rest, damn it. Like a good little Pokémon, or I swear to Arceus, I'll put you all in time out!"

The Genesects exchanged glances, probably a silent agreement that Natsu was annoying but useful. Finally, all of them nodded. "Fine," one seemed to say,

...

...

...

Nuvema Town

The open space outside the lab.

The four Genesects were sitting on the ground, looking absolutely ridiculous, chowing down on the Pokéblocks Natsu, that benevolent bastard, had given them. They'd occasionally lift their heads to look around, staying on high alert. Like they were expecting a surprise attack from a flock of Wingull carrying legal documents.

Professor Juniper, bless her nerdy heart, held a special tool in her hand, looking a little excited and a little helpless. She probably wanted to dissect them or something equally invasive, like give them a full physical and a colonoscopy.

As a Professor who studied "The Origin of Pokémon," seeing Pokémon that had survived 300 million years ago, she was practically drooling, itching to observe and study them. She probably wanted to write a whole damn thesis on their digestive systems, or how their cannons worked. The woman was practically orgasming over science.

But these Genesects were incredibly wary, especially of people in white lab coats. Apparently, Colress left quite the impression. They probably associated white coats with pain and suffering, like a visit to the damn dentist.

As soon as Professor Juniper got close, they'd immediately ready their cannons and aim them at her. "Stay back, nerd! We're not your damn lab rats!" they seemed to be saying with their giant guns.

Faced with four super-tech cannons, Professor Juniper was helpless. She probably peed a little. Her scientific curiosity almost got her blasted into oblivion.

And it wasn't just her.

The Genesects will get their cannons ready if any other person tries to get close. They were like the world's most aggressive security system, powered by ancient grudges.

Their trust in humans had plummeted to freezing point, thanks to Colress and Team Plasma's "efforts." Those guys couldn't organize a picnic, let alone a proper villainous scheme without screwing things up and traumatizing ancient Pokémon. They're probably the reason why even the most docile Pokémon have trust issues now.

The only exception was Natsu, the magnificent bastard, who could somehow communicate with them, feed them, and make promises. He was like the Pokémon whisperer, but for incredibly dangerous cyborgs. He probably had some secret Pheromosa pheromones.

Because he had so much animosity towards humans and Pokémon (or maybe just trainers who tried to catch them), Natsu could only treat their damn injuries himself. Probably learned it from watching too many Nurse Joy reality shows, or by just winging it like a true madman.

After being busy for so long, and probably almost losing a limb or two, the treatment was finally done. "There," Natsu sighed, "you're all patched up, you ungrateful metal beasts. Don't bleed on my damn clothes."

Natsu gently patted the head of Genesect closest to him and told them, "Alright, you metallic freaks, get your strength back first. Only when you're recovered can you get your leader back. And try not to blow anything up in the meantime, okay? Or I swear to Arceus, I'll send you to the Distortion World myself!"

All four Genesects nodded and went back to munching on the Pokéblocks, food they'd never tasted before.

Seriously, they probably thought it was some kind of futuristic gourmet meal. Even their favorite food probably didn't taste as good as these goddamn Pokéblocks, which Natsu probably just pulled out of his ass.

After finishing all that, Natsu, looking a bit worn out, like he'd just wrestled a Tyranitar and then done his taxes, walked over to Anabel and Professor Juniper, who were standing there watching. "Fucking finally," he muttered under his breath.

"Natsu, these Genesects... what the actual hell were those things?!" Professor Juniper was the first to ask impatiently, practically vibrating with scientific curiosity. She was practically drooling, looking like she'd just found a new species of rare Pokémon.

"Professor Juniper, there might be some info about them in the materials we brought back; you might want to start there," Natsu said with a smile. "You know, instead of getting your face blown off by a laser cannon. Trust me, it's not a fun way to go."

"Good point."

Professor Juniper nodded, already practically running towards the tent to pore over the data. Scientists, man. Always chasing that next big discovery, even if it might kill them. "This is going to be so much better than counting berries!"

"Natsu, Lance, thank you for your diligent efforts, you two are a couple of badasses." Anabel said sincerely after listening to Looker's explanation. She sounded genuinely grateful, which was rare for an Interpol agent. 

"Anabel, you're welcome. Interpol and the Search Department are one big fucked-up family, aren't we?" Lance quipped, probably trying to be charming, "We're just here to clean up other people's messes, as usual."

Hearing this, Anabel actually laughed. Like, a real laugh. Must've been a good day. Or maybe she was just relieved not to be blown up.

Both Lance and Natsu were rare talents, like a shiny Pokémon, but, you know, human. And probably more destructive.

But it was impossible to recruit them to Interpol. Why? Because the Alliance bureaucracy was a bigger pain in the ass than a herd of angry Miltank with explosive diarrhea.

For Lance, it was due to his family's crucial position in the Kanto and Johto Alliance's search department. His assignment as a search officer was basically paving the way for him to become a bigshot. Nepotism, baby! It's how the world truly works, isn't it?

Natsu was different. Even though his mentor was the first Chief-In-Charge of the Kanto Alliance's search department, Agatha, that old battle-axe, also held a high position in Interpol, and there was no damn precedent for Interpol having two identities at once. Because rules, apparently. Rules are for suckers.

This action was enough for Anabel to recognize Natsu's capabilities and use some connections. She probably had a secret Bat-Signal for when Natsu was in town, or maybe a direct line to Arceus himself.

But she didn't ask what Natsu meant.

To avoid a rejection. Because Natsu saying no was probably like a guaranteed earthquake, or a global famine. Best not to poke that particular Ursaring.

She possessed methods to obtain Interpol status without Natsu's approval. Like, she could probably just declare him an Interpol agent and then send him a badge in the mail, hoping he wouldn't use it to rob a bank.

Just like Agatha had ways to make Natsu an investigator without his damn approval. These powerful women, always making decisions for him. Poor Natsu. He was practically a puppet on a very entertaining string.

"Anabel, you gotta stay on your toes. I think we still need to keep an eye on Team Plasma's moves. They're probably gonna try to attack Kyurem now." Natsu felt compelled to warn her. "Those guys are like persistent Bidoofs, they just don't quit. They're going to screw something else up, I guarantee it."

Hearing about this, Anabel looked like she had a massive headache. Probably from dealing with too many bureaucratic forms and not enough actual fighting. "Oh, for crying out loud, more Team Plasma bullshit?!"

"Natsu, I know what you're saying, but our mission this time was just to get information. Now that the mission's done, without orders from above, I can't just lead everyone to pick a fight with Team Plasma right now. Do you understand what I'm saying, you stubborn bastard? My hands are tied, literally, by enough red tape to wrap around a goddamn Wailord. It's an absolute bureaucratic nightmare!"

Natsu pressed his forehead. He knew. He hated it.

This shit applied everywhere.

As power grew, organizational structures became bloated, with more and more procedures, audits, and meetings. It was like a never-ending game of paper Pokémon, except way less fun and with far more incompetent people. It makes me want to rip my own hair out, sometimes.

Anabel immediately submitted the report, probably with a few choice words scribbled in the margins that no one would ever see.

However, there were procedures to go through within the goddamn Federation, and it would take a lot of time for the Federation to negotiate with the Unova Alliance. It's like trying to get two Snorlaxes to agree on who gets the last berry, but with more shouting and less napping.

It was also important to review whether the information they obtained this time could prove that Team Plasma was indeed a villainous organization.

Because, you know, sometimes stealing Pokémon is just a misunderstanding, right? And the process would become even more complicated. They probably needed three committees, five sub-committees, and a goddamn Pokémon legal battle.

After all that back and forth, who knew how long it would take to organize the action? Probably until Kyurem decided to just join Team Plasma out of sheer boredom, or blew up the entire region in frustration.

The Unova Alliance itself wasn't in a hurry, those lazy bastards.

So why should he, just a Sinnoh Region Gym Leader and a primary-ranked investigator, be in such a goddamn hurry?

Let them deal with their own damn problems, he thought, lighting a cigarette.

"Alright then, if there's nothing else to do, I'm heading back first," Natsu stated. He was probably already dreaming of a warm bed and not dealing with any more Genesects or Alliance bullshit. He needed a damn vacation.

Anabel hesitated a bit but still nodded: "Although I genuinely wished to sit and have a good chat with you, you charming rogue, if you have other commitments then please proceed, and thank you. I will report the amazing help you and Lance provided to Elite Agatha."

Natsu replied with a smile: "Next time, definitely next time, you sexy beast. Maybe we'll even get to blow something up together, just for fun." He winked.

Seeing Natsu preparing to depart, the Genesects, who had just finished eating and were still hiccuping like drunk Snorlaxes, rose one by one. They looked like a bunch of well-fed, highly destructive toddlers.

However.

"Mr. Natsu, while I appreciate your assistance," a middle-aged man suddenly stood up, sounding like he'd just swallowed a Wailmer and was trying to cough it back up, "these Genesects are overly dangerous and must be surrendered to the Alliance for risk assessment! It's protocol, you understand! We can't have wild weapons running around!"

This was Jinwan, the second-in-command of the operation. He was basically the Alliance's designated wet blanket, a walking rulebook who probably had no idea how the real world worked. He hadn't been seen before, probably hiding in a broom closet, until the mission was completed, but suddenly he popped out like a goddamn jack-in-the-box, ready to spew some bureaucratic nonsense.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Anabel's eyebrows furrowed upon seeing him, but she remained silent. Even she knew this guy was a pain in the ass.

Because Jinwan's statement was, unfortunately, in accordance with the damn Alliance regulations. Fucking rules. Always there to ruin a good time.

Natsu smiled, a dangerous glint in his eye, and halted Lance, who was about to speak for him. Natsu nodded: "No problem, sir," he said, his voice dripping with mock politeness. He gestured with his hand, like he was offering Jinwan a very special gift.

"Please, help yourself, you bureaucratic prick. Go right ahead and try to catch 'em, you spineless bastard."

Ka ka ka ka—

Then.

All four goddamn cannon barrels swiveled and aimed straight at Jinwan's pasty face. The Genesects probably understood "bureaucratic prick" perfectly well. They looked like they were seconds away from turning him into a fine red mist.

Facing the four Genesect cannons, Jinwan's expression immediately froze. He looked like he'd just seen Arceus himself, naked and demanding taxes. His face was whiter than a freshly bleached sheet, and he probably needed a new pair of underwear.

"Anabel, be careful, we are leaving first!" Natsu yelled over the terrifying whirring of the Genesects' weapons. He then looked at Jinwan, probably giving him a silent middle finger, addressed Anabel, and leaped onto Charizard's back. "Don't let this incompetent fool get himself weeting!"

Lance was already positioned on Dragonite's back, probably trying not to laugh so hard he fell off. "See ya, suckers!"

"Okay." Anabel nodded, a knowing smirk on her face. She was probably already calculating how many forms Jinwan would have to fill out after this.

As the two mighty Pokémon propelled themselves with their wings, they ascended into the sky and flew across the expanse. Probably giving a nice, fiery salute to Jinwan, who was now sweating profusely.

Upon Natsu and the others, as well as the Genesects, departing.

Jinwan let out a light sigh of relief, sounding like a deflating Snorlax. He practically collapsed, wiping the sweat from his brow. He looked like he needed a full body cleanse, a lifetime supply of antidepressants, and a very strong drink.

He looked towards Anabel, his voice trembling.

"Interpol Anabel, this is rather excessive! You just let them go?! This is an outrage! An absolute travesty!"

Anabel glanced at him, a look of pure contempt on her face. "Natsu didn't stop them, and he didn't say he wanted those Genesects to follow him. And he even allowed you to attempt it yourself; could you have stopped her, Jinwan? Really? You'd be a puddle on the floor, you pathetic excuse for a human. They'd have turned you into a goddamn Porygon, complete with glitches."

Jinwan was momentarily silent, probably replaying his imminent demise and wondering if his life insurance covered "death by ancient cyborg Pokémon." But he still contended, "But you should have stopped him! It's against protocol! It's anarchy! The Alliance will be furious! My career is ruined!"

This time, only the back of Anabel's head served as her reply as she walked away. She probably rolled her eyes so hard they almost fell out. "Oh, shut up, Jinwan. Nobody cares about your damn career."

Although the Alliance adheres to rules like a clingy Zubat, in the presence of exceptional individuals, rules are often bent. Or, in this case, completely shattered and then set on fire, preferably with some gasoline and a good laugh.

Allow her to fight that Genesect? Was that even feasible? She'd be vaporized faster than a piece of toast in a Blaziken's mouth.

Not to mention whether they would even be willing to stay. Genesects aren't exactly known for their willingness to be cooped up in a lab, especially after what Team Plasma did to them. They'd probably rather self-destruct than fill out a damn consent form.

If she were to invite Natsu to join Interpol, would it not result in failure? And then she'd be stuck with Jinwan, forever. The horror. She'd rather poke her own eyes out with a spork.

And.

 Genesect clearly did not fire indiscriminately because of Natsu. She was smarter than Jinwan, that's for damn sure. Probably had a higher IQ than the entire Alliance council combined.

Judging from the battle traces remaining in P2 Laboratory, once they lost control, the Unova Alliance wouldn't be able to contain them without deploying some Elite Four power.

And how many Elite Four members in the Unova Alliance could be dispatched at will? None, because they're all too busy with paperwork, attending pointless meetings, and trying to figure out how to order a decent coffee.

Jinwan looked at Anabel's back, then at the direction Natsu had gone. After a moment, he shook his head helplessly. He was probably fantasizing about early retirement, or perhaps a career as a humble berry farmer, far, far away from dangerous Pokémon and even more dangerous humans.

...

...

...

Lance and Natsu proceeded towards Opelucid City, leaving the Alliance's bureaucratic nightmares behind. And probably the lingering smell of burnt metal and fear.

Lance defended Natsu regarding his recent demeanor towards Jinwan. "Dude, that guy was a real pain in the ass. You handled him like a boss. He almost pissed his pants, it was glorious."

Natsu, standing on Charizard's back, stated, "The Alliance has its fucking rules, and even if some of them are a bit unreasonable to us, like trying to catch a Legendary with a Great Ball or forcing Pokémon to wear tiny hats, when we get to a position where we can create rules, we can dismantle everything and start anew, correct?" He grinned, the wind whipping his hair, "It'll be like a soft reboot of the entire damn world, but with more explosions and less paperwork!"

The Genesects, in a straight line, followed Charizard and Dragonite, probably enjoying the fresh air after being locked up for so long. They were thinking, Finally, some damn freedom!

This made Charizard, who had seen their power, feel a bit uneasy. He kept glancing back, like, Are they gonna blast my ass? Are they judging my flying technique? Oh god, they're judging me, aren't they?

Natsu sensed this as well and immediately leaped into the air.

"Alright, dudes, give me a lift! Faster, you metal whores! I've got places to be!"

Two Genesect discs appeared beneath his feet.

Moreover.

Observing the two side by side, and both one after the other, with both hands behind his back, Natsu genuinely felt as though he were flying.

Listening to Natsu's words, Lance's expression became a little complicated. He looked like he was having an existential crisis, wondering if his life choices had led him to follow a madman.

"Natsu, many people have actually discussed the Alliance system issue with me. Tell me. Do we have an opportunity to change this situation? Or are we just stuck in this bureaucratic hell forever, signing forms until we die?"

Natsu's amused smile also faded. He looked at Lance, his eyes serious now.

"You can, provided you become a Champion, Lance. You gotta get that shiny badge, man. That's where the real power is. That's where you can actually make some fucking changes. Otherwise, you're just another pawn in their stupid game."

"Champion?"

Lance mumbled, it took a while before he realized, "Wait, are you referring to me? What about you, you lazy good-for-nothing? You just gonna kick back and watch me do all the work, you selfish prick?"

Natsu shrugged, a casual grin returning.

"The significant issues of the Alliance system are, of course, entrusted to you all. Kanto and Johto have you and Lorelei, Hoenn has Steven, and Sinnoh has Cynthia. I will just help you all raise the flag and be your loyal supporter, you brave fuckers. Think of me as your chief hype man. Someone's gotta cheer for you from the sidelines, right?"

Lance: As a friend, you've quietly decided on the damn Champion candidates for each region and somehow left yourself out of the grinding work, haven't you, you sneaky bastard? You're a goddamn genius, and a total slacker! 

Natsu: Im just wasn't sure about you, I'm very sure in the others. They'll figure it out. And if they don't, well, at least I tried, right? Now, where's the nearest cafe? I'm starving.

...

(end of this fucking chapter)


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