NOVEL WEB Chapter 35
Kara towers over me with a cruel grin twisted across her face. She claps slowly, each one hitting me like a bullet.
“Well done, Blue! So much for not being a monster. You’ve truly gone crazy at the first possible moment.” Kara crouches down above me, her face filling my entire vision. “Cassie knew this would happen. She warned everyone, and you just couldn’t do anything but prove her right.”
“Shut up.” I cry weakly into my bloodied hands. “I know.”
“You don’t think you deserve this? You think you can just murder two people in cold blood and I’m not going to help you get what you deserve?”
“I said shut up!” I reach for my pistol yet again. With one shot Kara dissolves into nothingness. Her mocking laugh lingers long after she’s gone. I watch the smoke from the barrel drift off into nothingness.
“Fuck!” I throw the gun in my hand to the far end of the bus. The gun goes off when it lands, putting yet another hole in the roof.
A heat in my mind is steadily growing, I have to stop it. I have to stop thinking so much, but how am I supposed to not think at a time like this? I’m not ok, but I have to pretend. Slowly count to eleven. If I rush, make myself restart. Tap my fingers to the slow rhythm. It doesn’t lessen the heat in my mind, but it keeps it from getting worse. That’s good enough right now.
“Little Blue?” Vince steps into the bus, his rifle leveled at my head.
No no no no. How has he already found me? I take my second gun and aim it at his head. I can’t die here. Even if I deserve to.
“Oh. I had such high hopes for you.” He takes slow, even steps towards me.
“Just leave. Please.” I beg. I don’t want to do this. I don’t know if I can do this.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Little Blue.” He never lets his aim drift off me for even a moment. His face holds no hint of remorse, as if I’m some rabid animal that needs to be put down. “I can’t just let you kill Cassie and live. It was nice knowing you, at least for a bit.”
I can see his finger beginning to flex. Unfortunately for both of us, I’m faster once again. A small explosion marks the end of Vince’s life and he wordlessly collapses just in front of me. A growing pool of blood stains my feet.
The world feels so empty. I can’t believe I’m already out of tears to cry.
I don’t know how long I sit there watching the pool of blood slowly surround me. My shorts get drenched by the blood. I feel like I should feel something, anything about Kara’s last present being ruined. But no. I don’t feel anything. I don’t deserve to feel anything.
Soon enough I hear another voice from right outside the bus.
“Are you in there?” Ivy’s voice comes clearly through the door. She’s not revealing herself to me. That’s good.
“Just go.” I don’t want to kill anyone else.
“Can we talk?” She asks softly.
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about.” I say, glancing down at the body in front of me.
“Look, we all have made mistakes.”
“Mine’s a lot more than just a mistake! Just leave. Please. I don’t want to kill any more of you.”
“You haven’t killed any of us. A broken rib is far from lethal.”
“You’re saying Cassie’s ok? What about Vince?” I don’t believe her. I can’t believe her.
“Cassie’s fine. And Vince is talking with her right now.” How can she speak so calmly after what I’ve done?
“Don’t do this to me.” I quietly beg into the empty bus.
“Don’t do what?” She asks like she doesn't already know.
“Give me hope. Nothing hurts more than that.” She knows what she’s doing. “I have both of their blood on my hands. Vince’s body is right here! I can touch him, I can feel his cooling body. You can’t tell me I didn’t kill him!” I yell out the bus.
“I can promise you they’re both alive.” Her voice stays calm and reassuring as ever. “Why don’t you slide your second pistol over here and we can go see them.”
“Oh, I get it now. You know I’m faster than Vince, faster than you. You need to catch me unawares to kill me. Just leave, it’s not happening.” I clutch my pistol firmly in my hands.
“You really think I couldn’t kill you if I wanted to? That’s cute. Now come on.”
“No! Just go! Veto! Leave!” I scream as loud as I can.
“Fine. I’ll be back with the others, alright? You can see them for yourself.” She pretends to sound genuinely sad.
I don’t bother responding. She’s trying to trick me. She’s going to mimic their voice somehow, or count on me hallucinating their existence. She’s just doing whatever she can to kill me.
Thirty seconds later a shot explodes out of the scrap pile in front of the bus. It takes a large chunk out of the wall near my head. I knew it. I knew she wanted me head.
I run down the aisle and duck behind the decaying seats just before another explosion tears a second hole in the floor. After a few repetitions of our deadly dance I reach the dashboard of the bus. Where is she? I try to poke my head over the top of the dash, only to be met with yet another near miss. How can I fight back without seeing?
Wait, this isn’t that hard. I can outsmart Ivy. I pick up a piece of twisted metal on the ground and hold it in one corner of the windshield. Sure enough, Ivy takes the bait, shooting the metal out of my hand. I make note of the angle the bullet went, and do the same on the other side. From there it’s easy to triangulate where she is. I hold up one last piece of bait. The instant she fires I fire three shots through a small gap in the bus’ dash. I hear the sickening impact of a bullet with flesh.
“Gah!” Comes a pained cry. “Fuck Blue, nice shot.” Her voice is already so weak. I must have hit somewhere vital.
“Why didn’t you just leave me alone?” I yell out the shattered window. Why does she have to be able to talk while she dies? Every word, every syllable is a knife twisting inside me.
“I always planned on dying with Vince. Figured it was a win whichever way it ended up.” She can barely force the words out of her. “See ya later Blue. Don’t let killing all your friends go to waste.”
“I’m so sorry Ivy.”
She doesn't respond. I check with a piece of metal to see if she’ll shoot. Nothing. I poke my eyes above the dash and see Ivy limp on the side of an endless pile of scrap. A small waterfall of blood drips from her and down the rusted mountain.
The least I can do is to bury them together. I have no idea how to find my way back to the clearing. I can only hope Lucas is taking care of Cassie’s corpse. And I can only hope I don’t see him.
I grab a bit of metal to use as a shovel and get to work. It doesn't take long to dig a hole in the sand that’s deep enough for them to rest side by side for eternity in. I pick up Vince as carefully as I can. I know it’s too late, but I still don’t want to hurt him. I lower him in and place his gun on his chest. He wouldn’t want me to have it after what I’ve done.
“Thank you for everything you did for me and I’m sorry it ended this way.” I feel like I should say more. “I wish you listened to Cassie.”
Ivy’s next. I carefully pull her down from the scrap hill and I place her gently next to Vince, taking a moment to entwine their hands. Now they can always be together.
“I’d give anything for you to comfort me again. I hope there’s an afterlife the two of you can be together in. Even if I’ll never join you there.”
I held it together while I put them in place. I held it together while I shoveled sand back onto them, knowing I would never see their faces again. I even held it together once the ground was smooth, almost impossible to notice where the grave is. When I broke, was when I started creating a gravestone out of the smoothest bit of metal I could find. It started with a simple ‘Vince and Ivy’. But that’s not enough for them. They deserve so much more. I surround both their names with a large heart. That’s still too little. The only words I could bring myself to engrave in is ‘They Deserved More’.