31. Control
-Back inside the O'Sang Manor shortly after Max's departure-
Peeling my eyes away from the sweet, fizzy drink as it swirled and glistened, I snapped out of my quiet contemplation. I'll just have to talk to mother tomorrow.
"Thank you, Meredith. Um, was there anything else?" I asked.
"N-No, there wasn't. Sorry," the mousy maid apologized with a quick bow.
"Oh, it's ok!" I said, trying to cheer both her and myself up. "All you did was tell me what she said, thank you."
I noticed a twinkle of surprise in her eyes and, for a brief moment, her mouth opened as if to disagree. Instead, she simply smiled and nodded.
"T-Thank you, Lady O'Sang."
"You're welcome," I smiled. "You can, um, carry on again now."
After yet another swift bow, she took her leave to do... whatever it is she usually does. I should really get to know everyone here more.
My gaze drifted back down towards the fizzy drink as a moment of silence overtook the room. I feel so... strong. Is that the right word for it? I've never felt this way before, I mean, I have power and I'm using it. I don't like Max, I don't like him at all. I hate the way he treated my friends and I hate how he treated me, yet... when I stood up against him, I felt strong. I felt that way, too, when I addressed Meredith. She seemed so nervous and scared and I felt like I was the one who could change that... and I like to think that I did. It's scary, really scary, to be this person for others, but I don't dislike it.
"So," Millie abruptly began, "mind repeating what you said before the person who is unfortunately my brother showed up?"
Oh. Right.
"Uh... I uh-"
"Ahem," Amber interrupted, "I hate to cut her off, but we need to start her writing lessons. She can catch us up while we have her practice, alright Millie?"
"Ah, right, right..." the werewolf girl in question responded.
I felt two things: A loss of that control I was feeling just a moment ago and a warm, fuzzy feeling as Amber spoke of me. Both were good. Surprising, but good.
I nodded in agreement, or more like acceptance, and allowed them to escort me back to my room. As I walked, I realized I was still dressed in the cute, black and white dress gifted to me by Birch and still a girl for the day... and nothing felt out of place. Nothing felt weird about it and nothing felt wrong. The fact that it continued to be of such unusual comfort was, ironically, the only thing that felt bizarre. Especially for someone like me. I'm living a life so opposite of what I used to that it would actually be a challenge to create further differences.
Regardless of how those thoughts swam around in my head, we arrived back inside my pink-hued room and, as planned by the two maids, my writing lessons started up. After I was shown the proper way to write each letter of the alphabet, the monotonous journey of repeating it over and over began. Once I was in a decent flow, I filled Millie in on much of what I had told Amber the previous night as well as everything that had occurred before the game with Max. By the time I finished wringing my thoughts out, I was practicing the letter 'T'.
"Wow..." Millie understandably said. It was a lot to take in. "Well, first off, why didn't you tell me anything earlier?"
I felt a slight pang of guilt.
"W-Well..." I said as I carefully wrote out another 'T', "I had a lot of trouble working the courage up and talking to both of you at once would take, like, at least twice that courage... and I thought that maybe Amber could help me with some thoughts..."
"And I didn't say anything so I could let her speak for herself when she's comfortable with it," Amber added with a sympathetic smile.
"Hmm, hmm," Millie nodded with her eyes shut and arms crossed. "So, putting aside the matter of Birch and the dress for a moment, basically... you like being a girl?"
I felt a not-so-slight spike of euphoria. Amber's eyes flashed wide for a moment, but she didn't intervene at the unadulterated bluntness of Millie's question.
"I-I, uh..." I started, my mouth feeling rather dry all of a sudden. "...Yes, but! But... I like everything else here, too! I like having fresh food and a warm bed! I like having a welcoming roof over my head! I like having a mother, too, a-and I like learning to read and write and..."
It was such a simple question, yet... there was so much meaning in it. So much context... so much I wanted to say. A tear slid off my cheek and onto my most recent 'T', staining it with a mix of sorrow and joy as I looked up at Amber and Millie.
"A-And..." my lips started to quiver, "I like having friends, too."
In a flash, they were hugging me from both sides, the grip on my pen loosening until it fell onto the desk. Words could not describe how much I appreciated and savored the warmth, yet I still had more to say, even if it was buried under a layer of sobbing.
"S-So! It's hard to tell if I actually like being a girl or if it's just everything else I like! W-What if I don't like it? What if I'm just mixing my feelings up? What if I..." I halted for a moment. That's what today was for, wasn't it? To test those feelings. Yet, even so... "I, um... I'm just not sure yet..."
Once I allowed my emotions to settle, I realized I wasn't the only one sobbing.
"Ohhh, you precious thing!" Millie said with a clear lack of shame in her crying. "Don't you worry one bit! We'll help you!"
"That's right," Amber added as she did her best to remain the composed one. "Take all the time you need. As your personal maids and as your friends, we'll be here for you."
"Mmmm..." I squeezed back in the hug. "Thank you both so much..."
One fleeting moment later, we all silently agreed to release each other from the hug. I continued my writing practice.
"So," Amber started while Millie was blowing her nose, "about Birch..."
"Um, yes?" I asked, complete unsure what to think of the situation involving him.
"You're sure it was him?" she asked. "I believe you, it's just so... confusing."
"I'm pretty positive, I mean, he said so," I reaffirmed.
"Hmmm," Amber responded, clearly lost in thought. "Well, we have no choice but to bring this up with Lady Magnolia tomorrow. I know he's been here a long time, but I can't see him getting away unpunished after blatantly stepping out of line like that."
"Oh..." I said, somewhat disheartened by that. I don't like the idea of that, I mean... he didn't cause any harm. "What, um, can you tell me about him?"
"About Birch?" Millie asked after tossing a soaked tissue into the trash. "Like Amber said, he's been here a really long time. We've only worked here for a few years, so we can't be sure, but I've heard rumors of him serving the O'Sangs longer than Lady Magnolia has been here."
"R-Really?" I asked, rather surprised. "How long has mother been here anyway...?"
"Considering that 'The First's Comet' passed not too long ago, just a bit over a century," Amber explained as if that wasn't a mind-shattering reveal.
"A-A hundred years?!" I asked, astonished. "She's over a hundred years old? And, what's The First's Comet?"
Amber blinked for a moment.
"Oh, I forgot you're new to this... Um, let me explain. Every century, a comet said to have been brought about from the first vampire passes across the starry night sky. It is during that night, and that night only, that a royal vampire may be turned. Of the four this century, you are one of them, Lil'."
"Wait wait wait..." I said, unable to keep up, "I knew I was in a special position, but it's that special?"
She lightly grinned as if I was a newborn baby learning to speak.
"Yes, it is. A royal vampire, such as yourself, can turn others, though they will not be as pure-blooded. Those lesser vampires can further turn others, too. My family, the Sky family, are a branch of vampires whose bloodline originates from an O'Sang, actually."
"Oh. Oh wow. Are we family, then...?" I asked, probably a bit too hopeful.
"No," she giggled, "it doesn't quite work like that."
"Aww," I aww'd.
"Anyway, the point is that Birch has been here a long time. Asides from that, well... to be honest, we don't know a whole lot more about him than you do," Amber explained.
"Only other thing I know is that he's Lady Magnolia's closest servant, kind of like how we are with you. Kind of," Millie added.
"I see... but that just makes it even more confusing," I said, still very unsure of what to make of his actions. "Um, where is he usually at? Couldn't I just ask him why he did it...?"
The sisterly maids both blinked.
"Well, you could ask him, but we're not entirely sure where he is. He usually only shows up when Lady Magnolia summons him, otherwise... well, I'm not sure. He's a bit of a mystery," Amber answered.
Millie nodded in agreement.
"I'll just have to wait then, won't I...?" I asked.
"Unfortunately, yes," Amber concurred.
So many questions and not enough answers... I mean, would Mr. Batler really give me a dress for no reason...? Why not give me a suit... or a tuxedo? What even is the equivalent exactly? Maybe something like what Sebastian was wearing? Now that it crosses my mind, Sebastian is one of the other three royal vampires that were recently turned. He seemed... interesting, so I wonder what the other two are like.
As I pondered what secrets might be held behind Birch's actions and the potential personalities of the few other royal vampires in the same situation as me, I realized I had finished my letter practice for today after filling up the remaining room on the paper with a 'Z'.
"Looks like you're all done!" Amber and Millie said in positive unison.
"You did a really good job!" Millie praised.
"And your handwriting is pretty cute! I'm jealous," Amber added, a prideful blush settling onto my cheeks.
"Hehe... Thank you both!" I happily accepted their words like candy.
I rested back in the chair, taking a deep breath as I appreciated my hard work. If I keep at it, it won't be long before I can read and write like... like a lot of people can. I'll be more normal.
The dimming orange rays of the sun poured in through the window, the day soon coming to a peaceful end. I enjoyed today. I got to try being a girl, which was nice, but... I don't feel satisfied. Mother left early in the day, so I didn't get to spend much time with her as her daughter, and while I definitely felt proud with how I handled the situation with Max, it still left a bad taste in my mouth. He left a bad taste in my mouth.
Plus, with all this practice and talk surrounding the dress and Birch, well... I feel like I didn't really get enough time to figure things out.
"Hey, um..." I started, grabbing Amber and Millie's attention. "What exactly did mother tell everybody when she explained that I was to be referred to as, um... a girl, for today?"
"She specifically said that, for today and only today, everyone is to treat you as if you were her daughter and to disregard her previous orders. Why?" Amber asked with a curiously quirked brow.
"So... tomorrow, it'll go back to how it was yesterday? As if I was her... son?" I asked, a knot twisting around my stomach as an idea took root.
"Yeah," Millie responded. "Lady Magnolia was super strict about that. O'Sang orders are pretty much law here."
"T-Then, um..." I started, that anxious knot twisting tighter around me, my heart beating in excitement as I felt compelled to say the words. "What if I gave the order for them... not to stop referring to me as her daughter? I-I mean, I don't feel like I've finished exploring what it's like to... t-to be like this, so..."
"If you want to deliver an order to the entirety of the staff, then you'll need to summon and address the entirety of the staff," Amber explained with a knowing smile.
I nervously gulped. Oh god.
"How do I do that?"