21. Dress
This is a stupid idea.
I know it is, I keep thinking and telling myself that. But it didn't stop me from doing a test run to the garden's door in my pajamas. Not a single person was around. No one to see me wear something that I can't explain... whether that means how I got it or why I'm wearing it.
I looked at the dress as it neatly rested on my bed, my first impressions of it beginning to bubble up. How could it make me feel so anxious and excited at the same time? It's just clothing, but...
W-Whatever, I'm just going to put it on, dash over to the garden, burn the beautiful imagery into my mind, and pretend it never happened.
Focusing my attention on the pretty, soft, silky-smooth, probably perfectly fitting, cute, frilly, black and white, sleeveless dress with a delicate bow below the neckline, I gathered I could probably just put it on like a shirt, so...
"F-Fine," I told myself as I nervously but quickly hopped out of my pajamas.
Doing my best to think as little of it as possible, I slipped it over my head, letting it slide over my body as I felt the weight of the straps lightly press against my shoulders, the uncontrollable flutters in my stomach confirming it was properly on.
I-It's so soft... a-and it's a l-lot airier than I t-thought it would be...
An awkward and impossible to suppress smile inexplicably formed on my lips, an adorable fang protruding out.
"Heh... hehe..."
I lightly smacked my own cheeks. S-Snap out of it. T-To the garden!
Taking the first few steps, I felt the skirt swish and flutter, spiking me with euphoria that made me shiver in a nervous glee.
I took a few deep breaths, calming myself down for the second time. It's just clothing. It's probably magically enchanted too, just to make this extra embarrassing for me. I mean, why would someone gift this for any reason besides just messing with me? Who in the world is even responsible for it anyway? It fits perfectly, trust me, I can tell, which means someone had my exact measurements. Plus, it's sunsilk, which is exceedingly rare and woven together by very few tailors... Millie and Amber didn't have this made for me... did they? They're the ones that took my measurements, but I don't feel like they would do that. But maybe it means they know who would and could. I'll have to ask them later.
I glanced over to the box the dress was gifted in, realizing for the first time there's also a pair of short, black heels, much like mother's, that would match... But I'm definitely not wearing those, this is a stealth mission. My slippers will do just fine.
I released another breath. O-Ok, enough stalling, it's garden time.
As I walked to the door and pretended to ignore how each flutter of the skirt made me feel, the corner of my eye caught a glimpse of the mirror, provoking my curiosity and taunting my determination.
I turned on my heel and headed towards the mirror instead, making sure to keep my eyes glued downwards so I don't make the same mistake as last time.
Standing before it, I stared at the fuzzy, pink floor and lifted my eyes towards the reflection's slippers... I just have to consciously imagine what I look like at the moment. That's all.
Then the realization hit me. I-I... I have to imagine myself as a... a girl.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I concentrated on picturing myself, my body, in my mind. All I could see was a broken, fractured image of what I had deemed unworthy to look at, what I used to look like. The pieces flashed one after another. From my short, disgustingly choppy hair, the rough bulk of my hands, to the stubble on my face and-
"S-Stop..." I whispered to myself, squirming in discomfort.
I tried again, this time imagining Magnolia. She has long, silver hair that flows like water... I have hair like that, too. And my eyes are a deep scarlet, just like hers... and...
My eyes crept open and the view of the reflection's slippers returned. Slowly, my eyes scanned over the image displayed before me...
From the slippers up, she had smooth, pale legs; not too long and not too short. Hiding her knees and thighs was the frilly skirt of her black and white dress, which snuggly hugged her thin waist. Her delicate, slender arm bent inwards, her fist nervously clutched under her average-sized breasts. The fingers on her other hand endearingly played with the ribbon's adorable loop, which rested just below her feminine neck. Her beautiful, silver hair draped past her narrow shoulders, resting partway down her back. Her skin was soft and flawless. Her lips were parted ever so slightly, showing off her two, cute fangs. Her nose was small and button-like, and her cheeks were flushed a light, rosy red in an excited embarrassment. Her vibrant, scarlet eyes were staring wide open into mine, unable to look away.
I... I am her.
"I-I'm a-"
...No.
The better way to describe myself would be...
"I'm her daughter. Magnolia's daughter."
A wondrous, gentle warmth spread throughout my chest and body, mixing and blending with all the excitement and euphoria, both tempering and calming those feelings. I felt a kind of peace I didn't know I was missing.
Is... is this what loving yourself feels like?
A grin crept on my face.
I did a twirl in front of the mirror, maximizing the skirt's fluttering and embracing the sweet feeling.
M-Maybe after I visit the garden I could wear it agai-
OH! R-Right! the garden. I-I need to hurry up or I'll lose my opportunity to see it, I-I can think on this later.
Swiftly, I dashed over to the room's door and peeked my head out, checking both ways before crossing. Safety first.
Area clear, moving down stairs and initiating stage two: the servants' floor, and first hurdle.
Peeking my head past the stairwell, I seemed to be in the clear once again. I was carrying the weight and fear of being caught and being hopelessly unable to explain myself, but I pressed on, for every precious second counted.
Speeding down to the first floor like a nimble squirrel, I checked down the hallway for the final time, initiating stage three. Just down the hall to my right are the great doors bearing the symbol of a leafless oak, the place their meeting is taking place. Mother must be in there with Amber and Millie... if they were to walk out the same time I decided to... w-well, that would be a critical mission failure.
I shook the nerves out and dashed past the lobby as fast as I could, making my way to the final destination and final stage: the garden door.
Standing before my goal, I double checked both sides of the hallway. Clear.
With one sweaty palm, I twisted the knob open, stepped outside and bumped the door shut, sighing relief. Mission success.
Looking ahead to receive my prize, the sights took my breath.
It was a massive yet impossibly beautiful glade, a haven of myriad colors and flowers. The air was crisp and fresh, and a sweet, heavenly aroma accompanied it. An unassuming cobblestone pathway led to the center, ending and encircling a marvelous fountain whose waters flowed through the hands of a winged angel in a welcoming pose. The sunlight was strong, I could feel it, even with the protection of my dress, which fortunately reduced it to a pleasant warmth, both inside and out. A rainbow, permanently ephemeral, rested above the angel's wings, its end reaching and touching down into one of many blooming bushes.
I walked forward, slowly taking in this slice of nature's perfection. The cobblestone split into smaller paths which subtly ran through each side of the garden in a symmetrical pattern, allowing one to stroll around with ease. The flowers themselves, though... there were so many kinds, each with their own patterns and shapes! I couldn't even begin to imagine a variety so densely packed yet flawlessly arranged.
I practically skipped over to the nearest bush, inspecting the red petals that flared out in a layered spiral. So pretty...
I checked the next bush which displayed a beautiful, white flower. The bowl-shaped petals spread around a purple center in a star pattern. They seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place why.
Moving farther along the rows of flowers, my eyes danced across deep blues, pristine whites, soft pinks, and so much more until I caught sight of a flower I recognized.
It was yet another shade of white, though much gentler than the rest I had seen. Several white-green filaments protruded from the center, and fuzzy, brown anthers sat upon their tips. The petals, slightly narrow, had small, cute freckles close to the center and faintly curled outwards into rounded points.
I bent forward as to better inspect it, my fingers lightly grasping the stem and tugging it towards me.
It's... it's the same one I saw in my dream.
Just as I realized it, though, it snapped off, now cut off from the bush it once called home.
"W-Wait, I didn't mean to..." I said in a guilty panic. "I-I'm sorry..."
"I wouldn't worry about it," a strange, masculine voice came from behind.
"But, I only intended to-" I began to respond before jerking around to meet the voice, the dream flower still clutched in my hand.
I found myself staring, mouth slightly agape. W-Who is he? His eyes were a similar red to mother's, but they were yet a shade deeper than even the darkest I could remember from the portraits. They were blood red. His hair, too, proved his lack of a connection to me, for its color was a shadowy black that a raven would proudly wear, the length falling just to his ears.
He approached a step closer.
"I am Sebastian, prince and heir to House A'Ketsueki," he introduced himself with a handsome smile before drawing yet another step closer, his eyes looking down into mine. "And... might I presume this lovely lady is princess and heir to House O'Sang?"
A fuzzy warmth spread across my cheeks.
"I-I... Uh..."