Black & Grey

“When you let me tattoo my name on your body without saying anything… When you didn’t cover up my tattoo and left it as it was… When you accepted all my pranks… Did none of that mean anything to you, Oppa?”At Dahee’s frail voice, Yoochan turned to look directly at Jungeol. Jungeol, looking down at the pale-faced Dahee with an indifferent expression, replied in an emotionless voice,“No, it didn’t mean anything.”Without a moment’s hesitation, Jungeol’s words caused Dahee to burst into tears. Covering her face with her hands, Dahee sobbed uncontrollably, while Jungeol’s expression remained unchanged. Yoochan turned away from the two and walked away.Not wanting to go back to the shop or home, Yoochan ran around the neighborhood for two hours. Sweat poured down his face, but Yoochan only slightly unzipped his jacket, moving as if he wasn’t tired at all.Since it wasn’t past midnight yet, the streets were crowded, making it difficult to run. Yoochan spotted a group of high school students coming his way and veered off to a side path by the park to avoid them. It wasn’t his usual route, but he liked the relative quiet. As he ran through the empty park, Yoochan suddenly stopped when he saw a familiar figure under a tree in the corner.Wiping the sweat from his chin with the back of his hand, Yoochan hesitantly approached. He wondered why someone would wear a long-sleeved blouse with black lace in the middle of summer, only to realize it was a tattoo. The person, wearing a black sleeveless top and quietly drinking a can of beer with a phone placed beside them, was undoubtedly Dahee.It seemed she had been there since parting ways with Jungeol. Yoochan hesitated for a moment before deciding to sit next to Dahee with a resigned expression.“Noona, if you come to the park alone at this hour, you’ll run into delinquent high schoolers.”Dahee, about to take a sip of her beer, flinched at Yoochan’s loud voice and looked at him.“Do you know how scary high schoolers are these days?”Realizing it was someone she knew, Dahee’s surprised expression softened.“If I run into delinquents, I’ll just run away. I’m good at running.”Yoochan chuckled at her confident voice. Dahee, her face flushed as if she was already drunk, smiled and suddenly rummaged through the plastic bag on the ground. She pulled out a new can of beer and asked,“Do you want one?”Yoochan, who usually didn’t like alcohol, felt like having a drink today. He took the can and opened it immediately. After a brief toast with Dahee, he drank the beer as if it were water.“Thirsty?”Dahee asked with a smile. Yoochan, shaking the can that was almost empty, nodded. He hadn’t realized it, but he was thirsty from sweating.“Want a new one?”As Dahee rummaged through the bag for another can, Yoochan declined. Dahee nodded and took a sip of her beer. Watching the tattoo on Dahee’s arm under her black sleeveless top, Yoochan suddenly asked,“Now that I look at it, this tattoo resembles you, Noona. Is it you?”Following Yoochan’s gaze, Dahee looked at the woman tattooed on her arm and said,“Yes, it is. Pretty, right?”“The eyes look just like yours, Noona.”“I asked him to make it prettier than in real life.”“Did Jungeol Hyung do it?”“Yeah.”Dahee nodded and put down the can in her right hand, gently stroking the woman in the tattoo.“I thought if he made a design based on my photo and looked at it for a long time, Oppa might grow fond of me.”The tattoo seemed to bring back many thoughts for Dahee. When Yoochan didn’t respond, Dahee looked at him slyly and asked,“You know I like Oppa, right?”Yoochan, thinking he had been caught spying, closed his mouth. Dahee waved her hand as if it was okay.“All the staff know, so I figured you would too.”Dahee took another sip of her beer. Yoochan watched her and then looked at the lion skin draped over the woman in the tattoo and asked,“What’s with the lion?”“I heard from Jaehyeok Oppa that Jungeol Oppa has a lion tattoo he got in the US. So I just added a lion.”Remembering the lion tattoo under Jungeol’s left shoulder, Yoochan closed his mouth. Dahee, finding Yoochan’s serious expression with furrowed brows cute, put down her beer can and leaned on the bench, lamenting,“He won’t come anymore. There’s no more space for tattoos.”“……”“Actually, I got rejected by Oppa today. I decided to give up if I got rejected today.”Dahee’s desperate feelings resonated with Yoochan. As Yoochan grew more somber, Dahee continued,“I’m so annoyed, I won’t even cover up the tattoo under his elbow. Let his next girlfriend be annoyed by my name forever.”“What? You can’t do that….”When Dahee met Yoochan’s eyes, she laughed playfully.“I’m kidding. I was going to cover it up if I got rejected.”Yoochan sighed in relief. Dahee, feeling the effects of the alcohol, let out a long, hot breath.“I guess I forgot that Oppa can be really cold. I thought I was getting special treatment because we were close, but I got excited and made a fool of myself. So embarrassing.”“……”“I should have given up when Oppa started avoiding my calls. Now I have to cover up the tattoo, but how can I face him?”“…Can’t you just stay friends?”Yoochan asked, feeling frustrated.“Just because you got rejected doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends. Getting rejected is one thing, but you can still maintain a good relationship… Why do you think Jungeol Hyung wouldn’t date you? He’s not that harsh.”Yoochan asked, wondering if he might soon find himself in Dahee’s situation. Dahee’s eyes, flushed red from the alcohol, softened into a smile.“Once the cover-up is completely done, Oppa will never see me again. I’m sure of it. Oppa endures it because I’m his apprentice and he feels responsible for his apprentices. Otherwise, he would have blocked me long ago.”Dahee’s bitter words filled Yoochan with anxiety. Wanting to escape the chilly feeling inside his sneakers, Yoochan suddenly stood up. Dahee looked at him curiously as he spoke.“Are you going to drink more? If you’re done, I’ll get you a taxi.”“If you’re busy, go ahead. I’ll leave after finishing this.”Dahee pointed to a bag full of beer cans on the ground, not just the one in her hand. Yoochan frowned, not wanting to leave her alone, but Dahee reassured him that she was fine and told him to go.Yoochan entered his number into Dahee’s phone and told her to contact him when she got home. Finding Yoochan’s act of playing the grown-up cute, Dahee smiled and saved his number.“Are you heading home now?”“Yes. I have to pack for a trip tomorrow. I need to get ready quickly.”“Alright. See you around.”“See you later, Noona.”Dahee waved goodbye as Yoochan jogged home. He frequently looked back, worried about leaving Dahee alone in the park, but relaxed when he saw a couple their age sitting on the bench next to hers.Back in his room, Yoochan showered and prepared to leave for two days. He took out the trash, did a quick clean-up, and packed his suitcase.With a flight scheduled for Wednesday evening and a return on Sunday, he had little to pack for the four-day, three-night trip. Yoochan packed toiletries, a few comfortable workout clothes, slippers, a hat, and finally, his wallet and passport, before closing his suitcase.It was already two in the morning. Jungeol had said he would pick him up from school in twelve hours. Yoochan had morning classes the next day and needed to sleep early, but Dahee’s words left him restless.After tossing and turning for a long time, Yoochan finally grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He reviewed his messages with Jungeol, the last being about meeting at noon the next day.Yoochan: Hyung, what time are you coming tomorrow?Even though they had already agreed to meet around noon, Yoochan, feeling unsatisfied with their lack of conversation today, asked again.There was no response, and Yoochan clutched his phone tightly, his feet tapping nervously. He thought about calling Jungeol.Just a week ago, Jungeol and Yoochan had talked late into the night every day.Their conversations didn’t have any specific topics. Yoochan would talk about what happened at school or the judo gym, and Jungeol would listen. Jungeol never initiated conversations about himself, but he always responded thoughtfully to Yoochan’s numerous questions.Yoochan had lost sleep from the excitement of their late-night calls, feeling as if they might start dating at any moment. Now, even sending a single text felt risky, and it made Yoochan sad.Staring intently at the message with no response, Yoochan finally clenched his teeth and pressed the call button. He planned to say it was a mistake if Jungeol didn’t answer.Just as Yoochan closed his eyes tightly, feeling his muscles tense from anxiety, the ringing stopped abruptly.[Yeah.]Startled by Jungeol’s voice, Yoochan’s eyes snapped open, and he quickly sat up and said,“Were you not asleep, Hyung?”[I just finished showering. Why aren’t you asleep?]“I suddenly couldn’t sleep. I’ll go to bed now.”[Ah.]“What time are we meeting tomorrow? Was it noon or one o’clock? I can’t remember.”[I’ll be at the school by noon.]“Okay. Then I’ll have lunch at school before we leave.”[Alright. Don’t be late.]“Got it.”There was a brief silence. When Yoochan didn’t speak, Jungeol called out to him.“I’m still here.”Yoochan replied softly with a hint of laughter in his voice, then fully sat up on the edge of his bed. Resting his feet on the floor, Yoochan scratched his forehead awkwardly, then suddenly spoke up as if he remembered something.“Hyung.”[Yeah.]“Remember when you told me I was impulsive?”Yoochan asked, catching Jungeol off guard. Jungeol remained silent. Yoochan took the phone away from his ear to check if the call was still connected, then lowered his head and spoke.“Do you think I’m impulsive?”He heard a faint sigh from the other end. Yoochan felt his body twist with nervousness at Jungeol’s amused voice.“Even if I’ve been impulsive, can’t I not be impulsive this time?”[……]“Or not?”Yoochan, trying to test the waters, wiggled his toes. Jungeol took a while to respond, seemingly deep in thought. Yoochan, feeling anxious, added timidly,“Never mind.”There was a rustling sound from the other end. Finally, Jungeol spoke.[It’s late. Go to sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow.]“Seriously, I always wake up early.”Yoochan, feeling frustrated by Jungeol’s evasiveness, pouted.“Alright, got it. See you tomorrow, Hyung.”[Yeah.]“Good night.”[You too.]Yoochan ended the call. Staring at the phone he had just hung up, he threw it aside with a dissatisfied expression and pulled the blanket over his head. He tried to force himself to sleep, but sleep didn’t come easily.At the same time, Jungeol was silently staring at his phone, which had just disconnected.“Who were you talking to?”Taeho, who seemed to have just come out to the living room, asked sleepily while opening the refrigerator.“Yoochan.”At Jungeol’s calm reply, Taeho chuckled.“Does that guy never run out of things to say? He’s a real chatterbox.”Thinking about talkative Yoochan made Jungeol smile as he put his phone down. Because Yoochan had been talking, Jungeol hadn’t been able to use the hairdryer, and his pants and t-shirt were now soaked.Jungeol put Gaang, who kept trying to climb onto his wet lap, on the floor and picked up the hairdryer from the sofa. As he plugged it in, Taeho remarked with amusement,“By the way, lately I’ve been hearing you talking late at night from your room, and I thought you had a girlfriend or something. But it was Yoochan? What do two guys have to talk about for so long? When I call, you always tell me to get to the point and hang up. It’s strange.”Jungeol paused, one eyebrow raised, wondering if he really had talked to Yoochan for that long.After work, whenever he lay down after a shower, Yoochan would always call. Yoochan’s small boasts, like being able to run 100 meters in seconds or eating five packs of ramen, were endearing. Jungeol had never refused the calls because Yoochan’s cheerful personality and lively tone helped him sleep well.It didn’t seem like such a strange thing. They talked almost every day, but it never felt like they talked for that long. Jungeol raised an eyebrow and checked his call log.Scrolling back about a week, he saw Yoochan’s name frequently among the regular contacts like Jaehyeok, Manager, and Taeho. He clicked on one of the calls and saw it lasted 40 minutes.For someone who usually ended calls within a minute, it was a long time, but that day, Yoochan’s story about being ranked 10th in the junior world judo rankings had been interesting, which was why the call was longer.Jungeol scrolled through more calls with Yoochan and found another that lasted 33 minutes. He couldn’t even remember what they had talked about that day. It was just two guys chatting about nothing for 33 minutes.Acknowledging that his calls with Yoochan might have been excessive, Jungeol picked up the hairdryer. After completely drying his half-dry hair, Jungeol grabbed his phone, lifted Gaang, who was trying to jump onto his thigh again, and headed to his room.Seeing Gaang lying with his head on Jungeol’s arm, Jungeol closed his eyes. After a few seconds, feeling something missing, he furrowed his brows and looked at his phone by the pillow.Recalling how they talked almost every night before falling asleep made him conscious of it. Yoochan’s slightly sulky voice also bothered him. Jungeol thought about sending a text but held Gaang and closed his eyes. The silence of the night without Yoochan’s chattering voice felt unusually palpable.* * *The next day, Jungeol parked his car at the back gate of the university, where he was supposed to meet Yoochan. At the appointed time, he saw a figure approaching from a distance.Judging by the height, build, and the way they were dragging a suitcase, it seemed to be Yoochan, but it was strange that he walked slowly even after seeing Jungeol waiting. It wasn’t until they were close enough to see each other’s faces clearly that Yoochan raised an arm and waved.Walking slowly all the way to Jungeol, Yoochan had something stuffed in his mouth, chewing. When Jungeol looked at him, Yoochan held out a bag and said,“Hyung, do you want some?”With his mouth full and chewing, Yoochan looked unusually dull today. As Jungeol wondered why, he noticed the dark circles under Yoochan’s eyes, making him look like he hadn’t slept at all. Jungeol pursed his lips and asked,“Did you stay up all night because of the trip?”Yoochan shook his head with a blank expression and chewed the contents in his mouth loudly.“I’ve traveled abroad a lot, you know? I’m just tired. If you like sweet things, try this, Hyung.”It seemed that Yoochan was chewing candy, not snacks. The sound of something crunching loudly made Jungeol frown.“Your teeth are going to break.”“I’m fine because my teeth are strong. If you’re worried, just suck on it, Hyung. It’s tasty.”Yoochan took out another candy and started chewing it. The loud crunching sound made Jungeol wince as he reached through the driver’s side window to open the trunk.“You had lunch, right?”“Yes.”“Let’s go then. We’re on a tight schedule.”Yoochan nodded, tucked the candy bag under his arm, and put his suitcase in the trunk. As Yoochan was about to get into the passenger seat, Jungeol said,“I’ll put it away for you.”“I’ll just hold it.”Yoochan casually replied, hugging the bag and suitcase as he got into the passenger seat. Jungeol took the suitcase from Yoochan and moved it to the back seat. As Jungeol started the car, he noticed Yoochan fiddling with his black backpack.“Ah, damn.”As soon as the car started moving, Yoochan suddenly sighed. Jungeol glanced at him while driving on a relatively clear road. Yoochan was frowning at the half-empty candy bag.“I need to diet, but I forgot and ate a ton.”“What do you need to lose?”“You’re right, but I have a competition coming up. I need to lose about 2-3 kilos.”Yoochan shrugged and then widened his eyes as he looked at his phone.“Huh? What’s this?”Yoochan asked, clicking on the link Jungeol had sent him thirty minutes ago.“Did we change our accommodation?”Yoochan’s voice grew louder in surprise. Until yesterday, they had a large room with two beds, but now it had changed to a place with two separate rooms.“Is this two rooms? One for you, one for me?”“Yeah. It seemed too cramped for both of us with our luggage.”Yoochan’s excitement about spending two nights in the same room as Jungeol crumbled.“Why spend more money on a bigger room for just two nights? We could just share a room. It’s not like we’re strangers.”“What are you talking about? I rented it because it has two bathrooms, so it’s more convenient.”Jungeol’s intention was to be considerate, but Yoochan was convinced that Jungeol was putting up a wall. Yoochan pouted and said,“You said you’re okay with guys. Are you worried that something might happen if we sleep in the same room?”Jungeol frowned at the mention of “something.” Yoochan, already feeling upset, leaned his head against the window and muttered,“I get it. I have a pretty sensual body for my age. It would be awkward if you got tempted while we’re working.”Jungeol, looking straight ahead, let out a scoffing laugh.“You’re too young to be tempting.”Yoochan turned sharply, his face turning red like a tomato, and shouted,“How do you know if I’m tempting or not? Have you tried?”Jungeol rolled his eyes at Yoochan. Feeling a bit guilty, Yoochan looked away first. But not wanting to lose the argument, Yoochan spoke again.“And what do you mean by ‘tempting’? Are you a cannibal?”“……”“Seriously, try it before you say anything.”“Baek Yoochan.”“I’m not talking to you, Hyung. I’m just talking to myself politely. Just drive.”Jungeol, finding Yoochan’s sulking amusing, smiled and focused on driving. Yoochan couldn’t help but mutter again.“But still, I’ll be very tempting when I grow up….”Yoochan’s grumbling finally made Jungeol let out a sigh from the driver’s seat. Yoochan looked at him curiously. Jungeol, resting his elbow on the window, quietly laughed as if he had given up.Jungeol’s relaxed laughter quickly dissipated Yoochan’s irritation. As Yoochan watched Jungeol’s forehead exposed to the wind through the partially open window, he quickly turned away when their eyes almost met.“……”Yoochan had never seen Jungeol’s forehead or eyebrows clearly before, as Jungeol usually covered them with his long, curly bangs. Unlike Yoochan’s trapezoidal forehead with a narrow upper part, Jungeol’s forehead had rounded corners. While Yoochan’s forehead had a slight depression just above the brow bone, Jungeol’s was smooth and even.Looking at his own short, thick, and flat eyebrows in the side mirror, Yoochan remembered Jungeol’s eyebrows. Under his smooth forehead, Jungeol’s eyebrows extended deep toward the center of his face, neither too thin nor too thick, and ran long towards his temples. The pronounced arch made Jungeol’s already well-defined face appear even more sculpted.Thinking about Jungeol’s face while watching the road and cars outside made Yoochan’s neck feel warm. Damn it. Yoochan muttered to himself. His face was turning red again. Needing to calm down before Jungeol noticed, Yoochan pressed his forehead against the cold window and took a deep breath.After a while, Jungeol’s car arrived at the airport. When Jungeol opened the trunk, Yoochan grabbed Jungeol’s bag from his lap and his suitcase, running to the trunk. Grabbing the handles of both suitcases, Yoochan said,“I’ll carry them. I’m your talking backpack today, so you just relax, Hyung.”Yoochan’s attempt to be useful in his role. Without responding, Jungeol closed the driver’s door and walked to the trunk, taking back the backpack Yoochan had slung over his shoulder.“Why? Give it to me.”Yoochan reached out, but Jungeol slung the backpack over one shoulder and grabbed his suitcase handle, gesturing for Yoochan to follow. Yoochan hurriedly followed Jungeol, who walked briskly away.After checking in their luggage and passing through security and immigration, they spent a short time in the lounge before boarding the plane. Once the plane took off, Jungeol had a cocktail and reclined his seat. Yoochan, thinking he would watch a movie, was surprised to see Jungeol close his eyes immediately.“You’re going to sleep now? We’ll be there by evening.”“I have to head out after dropping you at the hotel.”“Work in the evening?”“Yeah.”Feeling sorry that Jungeol wouldn’t get to rest, Yoochan watched Jungeol’s closed eyelids for a moment before rummaging through his pocket and offering something.The rustling sound near his face made Jungeol look curiously, seeing the candy Yoochan had been eating on the way to the airport.After a moment of hesitation, Jungeol accepted the candy and popped it into his mouth. The cool mint vanilla flavor spread through his mouth. With the candy in his mouth, Jungeol stayed still, and Yoochan put up the privacy screen before putting on his headphones to watch a movie quietly.After watching two movies, having the in-flight meal, and dozing off intermittently, they arrived at Milan airport. Yoochan, who had fallen asleep at the end, was groggy. While Yoochan dozed off against a pillar, Jungeol brought the rental car.“Regretting coming along?”Jungeol asked Yoochan, who still struggled to open his eyes despite the cool breeze blowing into the car. As it was already dark, there wasn’t much to see except for the lights. Yoochan, his eyelids heavy from lack of sleep, replied with a grumpy face,“I feel like it was a great decision. I’m excited.”Jungeol chuckled and parked the car. Then, checking his watch, he frowned.“I’m too tired. Wait here for a bit. I’ll postpone and come back.”Yoochan rolled down the window and looked at the building beside him.“Is this the place? How long will it take?”“I’ll just say hello and come out.”“Who are you meeting that requires a greeting?”Shaking his head to wake up, Yoochan asked curiously. Jungeol explained it was the person who taught him to tattoo in the US.Yoochan’s face lit up. If it was the person who did most of Jungeol’s tattoos, it meant they were the artist behind the roaring lion that had captivated Yoochan at first sight.“Do they live in Milan now?”“This is their hometown.”“Can I come and say hello too?”“Tomorrow.”Jungeol entered the building and returned as promised in ten minutes. They then drove to their hotel.While Jungeol was unpacking, Yoochan explored the spacious apartment with two large rooms and a living room, looking somewhat dissatisfied. He discovered a large iron door in the smaller room. As expected, it led to a large terrace. It seemed to be exclusive to this top-floor unit.Yoochan touched the rounded awning above the door with his fingertips and stepped outside. The terrace was spacious enough to seat at least twenty people, with white folding tables and umbrellas that matched the building’s exterior color. Disappointed by the somewhat bland night view compared to the terrace’s interior, Yoochan turned his head towards a bright light on the right and widened his eyes.It was a large cathedral-like structure. The yellow lighting made it look as if it were made of gold. As Yoochan admired the cathedral, holding onto the railing, Jungeol called out from inside.“What are you doing out there?”“Oh, I was just…”About to say he was enjoying the beautiful cathedral, Yoochan noticed Jungeol’s well-defined abs above his pants as he took off his sweatshirt and muttered in admiration,“…healing my eyes.”Jungeol, not hearing him properly, placed his clothes on the bed and told Yoochan to get ready for bed since they had a busy schedule the next day.“Going to bed already?”Yoochan, startled by Jungeol’s words, ran back inside and said,“What about our Italian espresso? The outdoor café?”What about my confession? Yoochan barely swallowed the last words, looking disappointed.“There’s a machine in the kitchen. Have some if you want.”Jungeol replied as he entered the bathroom. Yoochan didn’t want to make his long-awaited confession while drinking machine-made coffee in a small kitchen. It seemed better to postpone the confession until tomorrow. Feeling deflated, Yoochan frowned and reluctantly went to the bathroom attached to the living room.When Yoochan came out, drying his hair with a towel, Jungeol was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone to the other room. Yoochan, disappointed that Jungeol was sleeping again after napping on the plane, wandered around the living room before going to bed. About an hour later, feeling thirsty, Yoochan came out and found Jungeol sitting in the living room, looking like he had just woken up.Jungeol was rubbing his neck with a troubled expression. When Yoochan asked what was wrong, Jungeol showed him his neck. There was a large bug bite. It seemed a bug had entered Jungeol’s room through the open window.“Did you catch the bug?”“I can’t see it with the lights on. How’s your room?”“It’s perfectly clean and fine. No mosquitoes. Want to sleep together? Come in.”Jungeol gave Yoochan a meaningful look, as if expecting the request, but declined and lay on the living room sofa without a blanket. Yoochan, looking incredulous, said,“Seriously, it’s not like anyone’s going to eat you.”Grumbling, Yoochan frowned and went back to his room, feeling it was pointless to insist further. Jungeol chuckled at Yoochan’s sulking back and turned his head, closing his eyes.However, feeling uncomfortable, Jungeol soon opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He recalled Yoochan’s absurd comments, half-joking, half-serious, on the way to Incheon Airport.-But I’ll be very tempting when I grow up….Despite deciding to draw a line between them as just friends, Jungeol couldn’t help but laugh at Yoochan’s honest and bold grumbling, which had disarmed him.Thinking about Yoochan’s candidness, Jungeol eventually fell asleep.Exactly 30 minutes later, Jungeol, sleeping in the dark living room, sensed something strange and opened his eyes. A shadow crouched like a ghost in the darkness was staring at him.“Baek Yoochan.”“Yes, Hyung.”For a moment, Jungeol thought he was dreaming. He rubbed his eyes and asked calmly,“…What are you doing there?”“Come inside and sleep, Hyung.”Yoochan, sitting on the carpet with his legs hugged, spoke in a dejected voice.“I won’t bother you. Really. I’m just worried about you sleeping without a blanket.”As Jungeol’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw Yoochan’s upset face. Yoochan’s earnest expression made Jungeol hesitate. Yoochan stood up and tugged at Jungeol’s clothes, urging him. Jungeol realized that if he didn’t agree, Yoochan would stay there all night. Reluctantly, Jungeol got up, following Yoochan, who was pulling his arm.Unlike Jungeol’s room, which was enclosed, Yoochan’s room was connected to the terrace, allowing the outside lights to shine in. Jungeol lay by the window and closed his eyes first, and Yoochan turned his back to him.But sleep wouldn’t come. The person he liked was right behind him. After tossing and turning a few times, Yoochan turned over in frustration and found Jungeol’s face right in front of him. Almost gasping, Yoochan held his breath and stared at Jungeol’s face. Even after seeing it every day, he never got tired of it. As Yoochan gazed at Jungeol’s handsome face, Jungeol seemed to sense his stare and opened his eyes.Yoochan felt his heart skip a beat and quickly closed his eyes. He immediately regretted his decision. Closing his eyes after making eye contact would only make Jungeol think he was acting strange.However, Jungeol remained silent for a long time. When Yoochan peeked through his eyelashes, he saw that Jungeol was lying on his back with his eyes closed. It seemed Jungeol hadn’t noticed him opening his eyes. Relieved, Yoochan continued to admire Jungeol’s face until Jungeol, who Yoochan thought was asleep, spoke.“Go to sleep.”“…Wow, you scared me.”Startled, Yoochan cursed under his breath and replied loudly.“I wasn’t looking at you, Hyung. I was… I was looking at the chairs on the terrace.”“Sure.”Jungeol’s lips curled slightly, as if he didn’t believe him. Yoochan, feeling embarrassed, lowered his head.His heart pounded loudly, and his breathing became heavy. Even though he tried to control his breathing, it only seemed to get louder. Focusing on the sound made him aware of Jungeol’s breathing, which he hadn’t noticed before.When Jungeol exhaled, Yoochan exhaled too. When Jungeol inhaled, Yoochan followed suit. Trying to match his breathing to Jungeol’s felt awkward, so he deliberately went offbeat, which sounded even stranger.After a while, Yoochan noticed Jungeol lifting his left arm. Yoochan lowered his head and curled up like a caterpillar, trying to hide his heavy breathing. His forehead accidentally touched Jungeol’s side, and Yoochan froze at the warmth of Jungeol’s body.Jungeol didn’t react, as if he were asleep. After a while, Yoochan glanced up. Jungeol’s torso blocked his view of Jungeol’s face.Wondering if Jungeol had fallen asleep, Yoochan made up his mind and gently rested his head on Jungeol’s side. This time, it was intentional. Yoochan planned to apologize and get up if Jungeol showed any sign of discomfort.But Jungeol didn’t move. Yoochan felt as if Jungeol was awake and might be watching him. Too nervous to look up, Yoochan kept his head on Jungeol’s body and closed his eyes, feeling anxious.Yoochan remembered Manager’s words about Jungeol tolerating things as long as boundaries weren’t crossed. Yoochan hoped Jungeol would be a little more lenient with him. With that thought, Yoochan slowly drifted off to sleep.Jungeol had been watching Yoochan, who was pretending to be asleep, from start to finish without blinking. Jungeol couldn’t reveal that he was still awake because of Yoochan’s irregular breathing. After a long time, Yoochan’s breathing finally steadied. Jungeol then relaxed his arm, which had been in an uncomfortable position.Jungeol’s arm, which Yoochan was using as a pillow, stopped under Yoochan’s shoulder. It looked as if Jungeol was intentionally giving Yoochan a pillow.Jungeol felt Yoochan’s steady breathing against his waist. As Jungeol blinked, unable to sleep, Yoochan, in his sleep, hugged Jungeol’s waist tightly. Jungeol lifted his head and grabbed Yoochan’s shoulder to straighten him out. But Yoochan naturally wrapped one leg around Jungeol’s body.Now completely entangled with Yoochan, Jungeol tried to free himself without waking Yoochan but eventually gave up and relaxed. He felt the warmth of Yoochan’s firm shoulder. Unable to sleep, Jungeol looked at Yoochan’s hair with a thoughtful expression.The dilemma he had faced an hour ago resurfaced. He knew what he had to do, but Yoochan kept shaking his resolve.Even after realizing Yoochan’s clumsy feelings, Jungeol wanted to keep him close. He knew he often found himself smiling unknowingly when Yoochan was around, and he had grown so accustomed to Yoochan that he hadn’t noticed how long their late-night calls lasted. Jungeol had many cherished younger friends, but Yoochan was the only one he enjoyed eating with every day and talking to late into the night. If Yoochan had been a girl or a bit older, Jungeol might have suggested dating.But Yoochan was a young man, and Jungeol didn’t want to pursue a relationship with him. More importantly, Yoochan’s feelings were too impulsive. Jungeol didn’t want to risk their relationship on Yoochan’s hasty emotions.That’s why he had warned Yoochan not to confess. He didn’t want to jeopardize their relationship with a careless gamble.But.— Even if I’ve been impulsive, can’t I not be impulsive this time?Yoochan’s sullen voice from the previous night echoed in Jungeol’s ears. It sounded as if Yoochan was asking Jungeol to trust his sincerity just once.* * *The sunlight piercing his eyelids woke Yoochan. The large window facing the terrace let in the bright light because they hadn’t drawn the curtains. Yoochan blinked sleepily and then smiled, feeling good.“Don’t wander around alone in the evening; it’s dangerous. Stay at the hotel.”Yoochan agreed and waved goodbye to Jungeol. As soon as Jungeol left, Yoochan popped the last kiwi into his mouth, hung the camera strap around his neck, and headed out.Yoochan and Jungeol met again about five hours later. Yoochan, who had spent the day walking around and taking photos, handed the camera to Jungeol with a triumphant expression. As Jungeol looked through the photos Yoochan had taken, he nodded in satisfaction, seemingly pleased with the results. Yoochan shrugged his shoulders proudly at Jungeol’s compliment.After having an early dinner at a different restaurant near the one where they had lunch, the two returned to their hotel with snacks to accompany the two bottles of whiskey Jungeol had received as a gift from his mentor.When Yoochan changed into comfortable clothes and went to the living room, he found Jungeol preparing the snacks. Yoochan helped by carrying plates of cheese and fruit to the terrace.Not satisfied with the table’s position, Yoochan lifted it with both hands and moved it to the right side of the railing, where they had a view of the cathedral. Pleased with the new spot, Yoochan smiled as Jungeol brought out the two bottles of whiskey, glasses, and a bowl of ice. Yoochan opened a bottle of whiskey and poured it into their glasses, then raised his glass and said,“Shall we toast?”Jungeol raised an eyebrow and clinked his glass with Yoochan’s. Yoochan took a sip of the whiskey and smiled at Jungeol, already feeling cheerful.Although Yoochan didn’t usually enjoy alcohol, the atmosphere, being in a foreign country, and the company made even the strong whiskey taste sweet. Yoochan took a few more sips and then, as if remembering something, asked,“How was the work today? You finished earlier than I expected.”“I just did some retouching and touch-ups on a piece I started before leaving the US. There wasn’t much to do.”“Show me.”Yoochan held out his hands expectantly. Jungeol took out his phone, opened the photos, and handed it to Yoochan. Yoochan admired the work and then compared the before and after photos, pointing to a part of the image and asking,“This part was originally black. How did you remove the color?”“I didn’t remove it. I covered it with gray.”“Oh, this is gray?”Yoochan looked at the photos in fascination for a while before handing the phone back to Jungeol and looking up.At that moment, a couple appeared on the terrace of the neighboring building. They were embracing and sharing a passionate kiss, making Yoochan feel awkward. He rubbed his neck and looked at Jungeol. Jungeol also looked up and seemed to notice the couple. Yoochan took a sip of his whiskey, now diluted by the melted ice, and asked quietly,“When was the last time you kissed someone, Hyung?”Jungeol, who seemed uninterested in the affectionate couple, turned to look at Yoochan. Yoochan quickly added, seeing Jungeol’s questioning expression,“Just curious. It’s fun to talk about these things while drinking. If you don’t want to, never mind.”Jungeol, seeing through Yoochan’s intentions, leaned back in his chair and answered leisurely,“I feel like I’d be at a disadvantage.”Yoochan, feeling slighted by Jungeol’s condescending tone, retorted,“Come on, that’s not true. You might be surprised by how much I have to share. I might even know more than you. Kids these days are fast learners.”Jungeol found Yoochan’s bravado endearing and quietly laughed, raising his glass. As the alcohol started to take effect, Yoochan grew anxious. He felt that today was the perfect day to confess and didn’t want to miss the opportunity. He wanted to set the mood.Yoochan scratched his chin, then suddenly grabbed the whiskey bottle and poured it into Jungeol’s half-empty glass. Feeling Jungeol’s gaze, Yoochan filled his own glass after dumping out the melted ice water. Handing the brimming glass to Jungeol, Yoochan said,“Hyung, let’s play a game.”Jungeol, intrigued, asked,“What game?”“Truth or drink. If you don’t want to answer, just drink. One shot.”Yoochan shook his glass as he explained. Jungeol leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, and asked,“Without ice?”“Yes, without ice.”Yoochan nodded firmly. Jungeol pointed to the whiskey bottle with his chin and asked,“Do you know how strong this is?”Yoochan turned the bottle halfway and read the number.“40 degrees. Isn’t that basically water? If you’re scared, never mind. I did notice last time that you seem to have a low tolerance for alcohol, Hyung.”It was clear that Yoochan was trying to provoke Jungeol into playing the game, but Jungeol, seeing the seriousness in Yoochan’s eyes, agreed.“You ask first, Hyung.”Yoochan said, as if giving Jungeol a favor. Jungeol asked without hesitation.“No experience, right?”“Oh, come on…!”Yoochan shouted, feeling like Jungeol had hit the nail on the head.“Starting with the tough questions isn’t fun! You should start with the easy ones; that’s the basic rule! This doesn’t count. It’s totally invalid.”“Fine. You go first.”Jungeol chuckled and passed his turn. Relieved, Yoochan thought about the tattoos he had glimpsed on Jungeol the previous night and asked,“Other than the Chicano on your side, do your other tattoos really have no meaning?”“They do.”“Wow…! You said they didn’t! Were you lying all this time?”“My turn. Why did you follow me around?”“I wanted to get a tattoo from you. After that, I wanted to be friends. My turn. Which tattoo has meaning?”“The lion.”“What does it mean?”“It’s my turn, but I’ll answer. My zodiac sign is Leo.”As Yoochan nodded, Jungeol asked another question.“Why did you come along on this trip?”Jungeol’s previously relaxed expression turned serious. Seeing Yoochan’s eyes waver, Jungeol narrowed his eyes. Knowing Yoochan’s feelings, asking a question they both knew the answer to was a bit mean.If he wasn’t going to accept Yoochan’s feelings, it would have been better not to go on the trip, have this drinking session, or play this truth game. But Jungeol hadn’t stopped Yoochan from coming on the trip, had agreed to the drinking session, and accepted a game that could bring up sensitive topics. He wanted to hear Yoochan’s reason for coming from Yoochan’s own mouth. It might help him understand why he had been thinking about Yoochan for days.“……”But Yoochan, who had been answering smoothly, closed his lips at that question, then shut his eyes tightly and gulped down the whiskey. Watching Yoochan immediately reach for a glass of water, Jungeol felt a strange sense of frustration and took a sip of his drink. Yoochan waved his hand, warning him.“You might not want to drink that. I’m about to ask some tough questions.”Jungeol, indicating he was ready, put down his glass and clasped his hands. Yoochan, still looking pained from the whiskey, gathered himself and asked,“What if there’s a guy who likes guys around you, Hyung?”“I don’t really care. My turn. Why are you asking about gay people? Are you gay?”Yoochan looked shocked, then bit his lip, filled his glass with whiskey, and drank it down again. Jungeol rested his chin on his hand and watched Yoochan seriously. Yoochan wiped his mouth, refilled his glass, and asked,“Why did you reject Noona’s confession?”Jungeol closed his mouth at the unexpected question. Yoochan, nervously rubbing his glass, added,“I saw you talking to Noona in the parking lot.”“Yeah.”“Why did you reject her? Noona is pretty.”“I just didn’t feel that way.”It was a short but clear reason. Yoochan lowered his head and asked,“Once you finish covering up the tattoo on your elbow, will you never see Dahee Noona again?”The order of questions had become unclear. Jungeol knew it was his turn but answered anyway.“Why do you ask?”At Jungeol’s reprimand, Yoochan, holding his dizzy head, tapped his glass with his finger, indicating Jungeol should drink if he didn’t want to answer. Jungeol, with a stern face, replied,“Yeah. I won’t see her.”Yoochan looked up at Jungeol with a sad expression.“Even if it’s not often… can’t you at least see her occasionally and say hello? You’ve been close for a long time. Just because she confessed doesn’t mean you have to cut ties. After some time, you can still message her, right?”