Bi The Way

Marcy was lying in bed, her stomach tossing and turning. She had felt off, dizzy and nauseous for the past few weeks. She had done everything to settle her stomach but nothing seemed to work, at this point, there was only one thing she thought it could be. Panic clawed at her chest, could she really be pregnant? The thought terrified her, she wasn't ready for a baby, she wanted to go to university next year, and she wanted to become a clinical child psychologist.

"Marcy? You in there?" Derek's voice filtered through the door, "I brought you some soup, I heard you haven't been feeling well."

"Uh, just a minute!" she called out, her voice trembling as she thought about how she was going to Derek. Avoiding him had become her new routine, a dance of missed calls and vague texts. Derek deserved the truth, but how could she tell him when she wasn't sure herself? She had been avoiding buying a test, not wanting to confirm the truth.

Derek waited outside her bedroom, waiting patiently to see Marcy's familiar brown locks. When she finally appeared, her forced smile was all too obvious, and he knew something was wrong but didn't understand why she wasn't talking to him about it.

"Hey," he greeted, putting his arm around her. "How are you feeling? I know you haven't been yourself for a while, is everything ok?"

Marcy took a deep breath, her hands trembling. "Well... Remember when we... you know, I have kind of been feeling off ever since."

His heart skipped, and his arm slid off of her shoulder, sliding down her arm and covering her trembling hands with his own. "I am so sorry, you know if I did anything you weren't comfortable with or if you really weren't ready for it I totally understand. let's talk about it?"

"No you didn't do anything wrong but we didn't use protection and..." she whispered, the words hanging between them like a dark cloud.

"Oh shit!" Derek exhaled slowly, processing the news. "Are you sure? You know no matter what I am here for you."

Her eyes welled up with tears, relief mingling with fear. "I haven't taken a test yet but I have no idea what else it could be."

"Hey, let's not jump to conclusions then," he said with a reassuring smile, he squeezed her hand. "We'll get a test and see what it says, then we can make a plan."

"Ok," Marcy agreed, feeling relieved she wouldn't have to do this alone.

Derek kissed her on the forehead before looking into her eyes, "Let's go get that test, I love you."

They rushed to the pharmacy together, the brisk November air chilling them as they went. They emerged with the test and headed back to Marcy's, where Derek paced outside the bathroom while Marcy took it.

Minutes later Marcy emerged to an awaiting Derek. "Negative," she breathed out, the word sent a wave of relief through both of them. "It's negative, Derek."

"Are you serious?" His voice cracked with elation.

"Dead serious!" She waved the test in the air, the single line clearly visible.

Laughter bubbled up within them, as they were released from their anxiety. They hugged each other as all their stress from the past few hours slipped away.

"Let's never do this again," Derek said, grinning. "What do you say we celebrate with some ice cream and Kardashians?"

"Sounds perfect," Marcy replied, her spirits lifting as they made their way to the downstairs living room.

---

Meanwhile downtown, the sweet scent of freshly baked chocolate cookies wafted through the air as Rodney pushed open the door to the Cookie Bar, a quaint little shop nestled in the heart of downtown Strathroy. The bell above the door tinkled softly, announcing his arrival. Hoping to drown his feelings with baked goods, Rodney beelined for the counter. A gourmet cookie, he reasoned, was something he deserved since he knew Derek was over at his house but wanted nothing to do with him. The thought stung as he surveyed his options.

"Which one, which one," Rodney muttered to himself, his eyes scanning the glass case filled with an array of abnormally thick cookies. As he read off the description of each cookie, he caught a familiar reflection in the glass, could it be?

"Matt?" the name escaped Rodney's mouth before he had time to think about it. He hadn't seen Matt since the awkwardness of last school year's end and wondered if Matt had been avoiding him like he was avoiding Matt.

Matt turned around slowly, unable to duck away since he was clearly spotted. Gone was the confident swagger, replaced by the sluggish drag of defeat. His stained sweatpants clung to his less muscular frame, and his hair was a tangled mess. Matt attempted to straighten up and act like his usual self, but it faltered, and his shoulders fell once again.

"Hey, Rodney. How have you been?" Matt asked, not having the energy to think of a reason to get out of this conversation.

Rodney also wasn't sure he wanted to actually have a conversation with Matt but he inched closer anyway. "I've been fine I guess. How about you?"

"Ah, you know—living the dream." Matt's laugh was hollow, as he sat down in the small blue booth.

"You know I'm kind of surprised to see you here. I thought you said refined sugar was like injecting yourself with heroin?" Rodney said, not sure why he was keeping this conversation going beyond just not wanting to go back home.

"You caught me, I'm a hypocrite" Matt shrugged, sinking into the seat with a sigh. This wasn't the Matt he had known before, he seemed defeated and Rodney felt almost compelled to know what changed. Did his breakup with Ally really cause this?

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as a dick," Rodney began, surprised by Matt's admission.

Matt smirked at Rodney's attempted apology. "Don't be sorry, I never apologized for being a dick to you," he said, "I should probably change that, sorry about being a dick for the entire time we've known each other. Turns out, I am a bit of a control freak, actually."

Rodney's brow furrowed, was Matt really apologizing for everything he did to him last year? He didn't expect something like this from someone like Matt. "You weren't that bad," Rodney tried his best to be nice about it.

"Come on, I was terrible. I mean I was so bad Parker didn't even tell me he was moving," Matt said, picking at the edge of a napkin. "But I guess there was a lot he didn't tell me, not that I would listen anyway,"

"Oh, I had no idea Parker never told you." Rodney's fingers traced the edge of the table, he knew that before he moved to Strathroy Matt and Parker had been close. "That's rough, man."

"I deserved it, I wasn't really acting like a good friend in the end," Matt said, his voice filled with sadness, he looked down at the table to avoid showing Rodney weakness. "I just wish I could have told him I was sorry for being so caught up in my own shit that I stopped listening to him."

Rodney's lips twitched into a half-smile, this was the real Matt. Just as uncertain and anxious as everyone else, "Hey, I am sure if had told him all of that, he would forgiven you. Parker was like that you know, always putting his friends first."

Matt looked up, eyes puffy. "Thanks, you don't know how much I needed to hear that." He wiped his eyes. "God, how did this happen man? I went from thinking you were the worst to spilling my guts out to you." Matt half laughed.

Rodney leaned back in his chair, feeling the worn vinyl stick slightly to his skin. "I've been told I can have that effect on people." Rodney joked trying to lighten the mood. Then a new thought popped into his mind"Hey, are you going on the history field trip to the ROM? You know the overnight one?" Rodney asked. He wondered if they could actually talk more, they both were missing Parker and Matt was clearly blaming himself just like Rodney had done when he found out about Parker's drinking problem.

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I signed on for that. Just to get a change of scenery you know?"

Rodney was relieved by his answer, now he could ask the question he actually wanted to ask. "Do you have a partner yet? Parker and I were going to be partners before he moved." He paused, his mind wandering back to a memory of Parker's smile. "So I mean if you don't then maybe we could..."

"You want to partner with me?" Matt looked genuinely confused, his posture visibly relaxed. "Wouldn't you prefer to go with Ally? I saw her name on the list."

"Things between Ally and I aren't so great right now," Rodney confessed, not sure how he could get around it.

"Oh, damn I wasn't expecting that," Matt admitted, leaning closer with a compassionate look in his eyes. "I always thought if she had the choice she would choose you over me every time. It kind of drove me crazy." They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, the buzz of the Cookie Bar dimming into the background.

"The crazy thing is I always thought she would choose you over me," Rodney said, both slowly realizing how their own insecurities caused them to act out. "I guess we are more alike than I thought.." His words trailed off.

Matt shook his head in agreement. "Yeah, I guess so. And no I don't have a partner for the trip, I was going to be placed with Mr. B. So if you're offering I would be happy to be your partner"

"Awesome then it's settled," Rodney said, hoping this was his chance for a fresh start with Matt.

"Great I don't know how any could survive a trip to a museum with Mr. B., they wan would give you a twenty-minute lecture on every artifact in the place" Matt quipped, starting to feel more at ease with Rodney.

"Right? And then he would probably quiz you on it all at the end." Rodney grinned, joining in. The pair shared a laugh and spent the rest of the night discussing the odd intensity of their high school history teacher until the Cookie Bar closed up shop for the rest of the night.

-----

That Friday, The Royal Ontario Museum loomed before them like a cathedral of history. As the students filed off the bus, Rodney made his way over to Matt. They stood next to each other as Mr. B. explained the rules again for the visit—where they are to meet for meals, that they must stay with their partners at all times, and that they are not to leave the ROM for any reason unless instructed to do so by their chaperone.

"So what should we check out first?" Matt asked as they entered the massive facility. "We could check out the fossils first, they are closest on the map."

"Sure sounds like a good place to start," Rodney replied, as they headed down the corridor. Rodney couldn't help but wonder how he got to this point in his life. It was unusual, this pairing—himself and Matt, two ex-boyfriends of the same girl and once rivals, now trying to form some kind of friendship.

As they entered the dinosaur fossil exhibit, Mr. B.—a man with a voice like sandpaper—began guiding the group through each display. Rodney closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, of all the exhibits to start at why did Mr. B have to start here?

"If you look to your left you will the fossilized skeleton of a Barosaurus," he explained, "this is just one of only three completed Barosaurus skeletons in the world."

Matt rolled his eyes, knowing he was about to break out into a full-blown rant. He looked around at the other displays, his mind drifted to Ally. He pictured her as a princess trapped in a tower, her hair cascading down like golden waterfalls, singing about finding her prince. In his reflection, he was a t-rex, dark and imposing, he charged at her tower.

"This is the largest dinosaur in the ROM," Mr. B. continued.

Rodney's eyes fogged over as his mind began to wander too. He saw himself as a caveman, wearing a cartoonish animal pelt, standing in the shadow of a large mountain. He could hear something racing toward him, hidden just behind the tree line. Then they emerged, a group of three raptors, he knew he was trapped.

"Oh well now check this out students," Mr. B. continued, "such a well-preserved specimen."

A pang of sadness struck Matt as he emerged from his daydream; he realized he still had more he needed to make up for, he was so destructive in his relationship with Ally, how could he ever make it up to her?

"Rodney, are you paying attention? this is fascinating stuff," Mr. B. asked, noticing Rodney's spaced-out look.

Rodney snapped back, "Uh, yeah sorry." He knew the raptors were stand-ins for problems he had been avoiding. He also knew that he wasn't ready to face them head-on just yet, he told himself he needed more time to come up with solutions.

"Well come along then, then there is more to see," Mr. B. beckoned him over toward another set of fossils.

"Did you zone out too?" Matt asked as Rodney walked over to him.

"More or less," Rodney answered, still a little dazed. "Want to ditch this exhibit and check out another one?"

"Please," Matt replied, not wanting to listen to any more of Mr. B.'s explanations. "Lead the way."

Unbeknownst to them, Ally was also there, she watched the pair leaving together and couldn't believe her eyes.