Bi The Way

The sun cast a warm golden glow on the school building as students spilled out onto the front lawn, chatting excitedly about their summer plans. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with anticipation in the air; it was the time of year when anything seemed possible.

Rodney stood by his locker, eyes fixed on Ally as Matt approached her with a bouquet the size of a small garden. As he asked her to the spring formal, her cheeks flushed pink, and she grinned widely, accepting the invitation with a nod. A pang of envy twisted in Rodney's chest, but he tried to suppress it as he watched Marcy and Derek talking animatedly nearby. They had agreed to go to the event together as friends, a fact that Marcy had drilled into him, with a particular enthesis on the word friend.

"Hey," Parker greeted softly, appearing at Rodney's side and snapping him out of his thoughts. "Ready for class?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Rodney stammered, his heart skipping a beat as he met those deep brown eyes behind the glasses.

"By the way," Parker added, leaning closer to Rodney, so only he could hear, "I have a surprise for you after school."

"Really?" Rodney's mind raced at the possibilities – was this it? Was Parker finally going to ask him to the spring formal or tell him he loved him? He spent the rest of the day lost in elaborate fantasies of how Parker could emerge with the school band to deliver his confession of love.

-----

After school Rodney met Parker out by the football stands, "Close your eyes," Parker instructed, standing before Rodney in the deserted field.

"Okay..." Rodney complied, feeling both nervous and excited.

"Open them."

Before Rodney's eyes lay a delicate silver chain with a tiny glow-in-the-dark firefly pendant dangling from it. He gasped in awe, but couldn't help feeling a twinge of disappointment that it wasn't a confession of love or even the surprise of being allowed to tell their friends.

"I saw it in the store and thought of you since you light up my life," Parker said, his voice sincere and filled with emotion.

"Thank you, Parker. I love it," Rodney managed to say, though his heart ached as he realized he would have to lie about how he got it to all their friends. Taking a deep breath, he decided to try to push to be a little more public in their relationship, the lying was getting too hard for him. "Parker, will you go to the semi-formal with me?"

Parker hesitated for a moment, clearly worried about the implications of attending the dance together. "As friends?" he asked cautiously.

"Of course, as friends," Rodney reassured him, masking his sadness as best he could. "No one has to know."

"Okay then," Parker agreed, relief evident in his eyes. "As friends."

Rodney leaned in and kissed Parker softly on the lips, a silent thank you for agreeing to go with him. As they parted, Rodney couldn't help but glance down at the firefly pendant in his hand, a bittersweet reminder that their love still remained hidden from the world.

-----

The next day at school, Rodney found himself in the bustling ticket line for the spring formal, this year's theme was enchanted garden, with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. He clutched the money tightly in his hand as he waited, listening to his peers discussing how they asked their partners to the dance. He wondered why it seemed so easy for everyone else to hold hands in public.

"Hey, Rodney!" Madison's voice cut through the chatter as she pushed her way into the line, her eyes bright with curiosity. "Is that a ticket for you and your mystery girlfriend?"

Rodney felt a flush creep up his neck as he hastily denied it. "No, I don't have a girlfriend. Parker and I are just going as friends."

Madison tilted her head, a knowing glint in her eyes as she studied Rodney's expression. She knew Parker's secret and now she put the rest of the puzzle together. She held her tongue, unwilling to expose something so personal without permission.

"Alright," she conceded, her tone cautious yet teasing. "Well I am looking forward to seeing you and Parker at the dance. It's a big night so maybe some big things will happen,"

"Maybe," Rodney said, though a part of him wondered if Parker wanted anything to change. He met her gaze and realized the sadness that had spread across his own.

Madison nodded solemnly, taking the unspoken plea to heart. "Look Rodney I know I can be a lot, It is who I am. Just don't forget who you are ok? If something isn't working you have a choice, you can fix it or let it fall apart."

"Thanks, Madison," Rodney murmured, grateful for her understanding. She left with a reassuring smile, leaving him to grapple with the truth of her words.

As the day wore on, Rodney couldn't shake the feeling that Madison was right. He loved Parker, but why hadn't either of them said it out loud? Was it the fear of being outed, or something deeper? He thought about Steven and Jordan, who seemed so at ease with themselves and each other. Would things be easier if they were open about their feelings? Would the being out fix the fear he had that Parker may not be as into him? All these questions began to give Rodney a serious headache.

-----

That evening, as Rodney and Parker walked hand-in-hand through the dimly lit paths of Victoria Park, he decided to tackle the issue head-on. "Parker," he began hesitantly, "should we come out to our friends?"

Parker's grip tightened around Rodney's hand, his expression clouding over with uncertainty. "No," he replied firmly. "We're not gay. We're just having fun, and that's nobody's business but our own."

"I never said we were gay, I just feel like there is so much I want to talk to about with them you know. Like I would like to tell them how my amazing boyfriend bought me the Firefly chain and not that I bought it for myself. I mean don't you want to talk to your friends about me too?"

"Of course I do Rodney, but they just wouldn't get it. This thing we have is so special and sharing it with them would just make it a little less special." Parker seemed desperate to get Rodney to see things the way he did.

"I mean I guess you could be right, I just wish I could at least stop lying to them, it is making me feel guilty," Rodney admitted.

"They are fine and everything as it is, is perfect," Parker stated.

Rodney's heart sank at the dismissal, but he nodded in agreement, unwilling to push Parker further away. They continued their walk through the park, the silence between them heavy with unspoken thoughts and emotions.

-----

The night of the Spring formal had finally arrived, and Rodney felt a mixture of excitement and anxiety as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He smoothed down the lapels of his dad's old suit, which fit him perfectly after a few minor alterations. The dark fabric contrasted with his fair complexion, giving him an air of sophistication.

"Wow, you look so much like your father," his mother said from the doorway, her eyes welling up with tears. "I hope tonight is amazing for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mom," Rodney replied, wrapping her in a tight embrace. He could feel her love enveloping him like a warm blanket, they still had their issues but they had really worked hard to get here.

When he arrived at Parker's house, however, he found his date wearing a casual outfit, his eyes glassy. Rodney tried not to let his disappointment show, but it was difficult when he had been looking forward to sharing this special evening with Parker. "Do you need more time to get ready?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"No, I'm good to go," Parker slurred, swaying slightly on his feet. With a sigh, Rodney took Parker's arm to steady him, and led him to the uber, to the dance.

"Did you really need to drink before the dance?" Rodney asked, concern lacing his voice.

"Needed to loosen up, be fun," Parker mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Everyone thinks we are going as friends, there really is nothing to worry about," Rodney couldn't help but wonder if it was less about having fun and more about Parker's fear of being outed.

"I am not worried and I am more fun this way anyway. Now let's go rock this thing!" Parker said, louder than he should have.

As they entered the dance, Rodney spotted Jordan and Steven in matching suits, grinning broadly as they waved them over. Steven's eyes narrowed with concern as he noticed Parker's intoxicated state. "He looks awful, How did he even get through the doors?"

"Well if Mr. McMansion is manning the door it is no wonder he got in, the woman is pushing ninety," Jordan responded, looking a Parker with concern.

"I'll take him to get some food and water, sober him up a bit" Steven offered, leading Parker away. Rodney watched them go and wondered if Parker had gotten so drunk in hopes they would be turned away at the door.

"Where's Parker?" Derek asked as he and Marcy joined Rodney on the dance floor.

"Steven's trying to sober him up. Parker was drinking before we got here," Rodney explained, trying to keep his voice steady despite his worry.

"Are you okay?" Derek inquired, placing a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I know you were looking forward to this night."

"I just... I feel like I put too much pressure on him to come to the dance," Rodney confessed, his gaze downcast. "Like maybe he thought something was going to happen that wasn't,"

"Hey," Marcy interjected gently, "I am not sure what is going on here but you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like Parker isn't in a good place is all."

"What do you mean?" Rodney asked, looking up at her.

"We all do stupid things when we don't feel great about something or feel pressure, but getting wasted was his choice. He could have just told you he didn't want to come but he chose not to and that isn't your fault." Marcy explained, her eyes filled with understanding.

Rodney shook his head, unwilling to accept her words. "No, I love him. I have to find him." He realized he had just spilled the secret to Marcy but he didn't care anymore, he had to let Parker know how he really felt.

But when Rodney finally tracked down Steven, he received the heartbreaking news "Sorry buddy, Parker left. He called Uber and just headed out. I was going to tell you when I found you" Steven admitted. The words crashed over Rodney like a tidal wave and he felt truly alone, surrounded by laughter and music that only seemed to amplify the emptiness inside him. Parker didn't even try to tell him he was leaving, Parker didn't tell him he didn't want to go to the dance and Parker never told Rodney he loved him.

-----

Rodney's heart ached, the weight of Parker's absence crushing him as he slipped out of the dance and into the night air. He found himself drawn to the school garden, a sanctuary that had once sheltered him during the fall formal. Moonlight bathed the familiar bench where he had met Derek, and Rodney sank down onto it, feeling lost and alone.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he replayed the night in his mind, wondering if there was something he could have done differently. Was it too much to hope that he could finally tell Parker he loved him? His heart clenched at the thought, and he struggled to breathe, feeling suffocated by his own emotions. With trembling fingers, he removed his bowtie and stuffed it into his pocket, desperate for some relief from the tightness that seemed to constrict his chest.

"Rodney?" The voice was soft, concerned, and so achingly familiar.

"Ally," he choked out, surprised to see her standing there in the moonlit garden, her royal blue dress shimmering like water beneath the stars.

"Are you okay?" Ally asked gently, taking a seat beside him on the bench.

"I don't know," he admitted, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. "I just... I feel so stupid."

"Hey, don't say that. You're not stupid, Rodney." Ally reached over, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me. What happened?"

"Things didn't go so well with my date," Rodney said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "They got drunk and left me here at the dance."

"Rodney, I'm so sorry," Ally murmured, her eyes filled with empathy. "You deserve so much better."

"Thanks, Ally," he whispered, offering her a weak smile as he tried to pull himself together.

"Shouldn't you be in there with Matt having a good time?" he asked, wondering what led her out into the night.

"No I don't think we will be dancing with each other anytime soon. Let's just say we had a... disagreement about where our relationship was headed," Ally replied, her voice carrying a note of sadness. "I realized I needed something different – someone who respects me and my boundaries."

"Good for you," Rodney said, truly proud of her strength. "You deserve someone amazing, Ally."

"Thanks, Rodney," she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder as they sat in companionable silence, two bruised hearts finding comfort in each other.

Their eyes met, both feeling each other's hurt. And at that moment, as if drawn together by an invisible force, they leaned in and shared a tender kiss, each hoping to find some comfort after this terrible night. Rodney felt guilty over kissing Ally well uncertain about his status with Parker, but at the same time kissing Ally was what he wanted for so long and it felt so right. Ally didn't know what she wanted, but she did know that she wanted Rodney back in her life and this felt like a way to do that. Neither of them knew what would come next, or whether they were making the right choice, but in that moment none of it mattered.