Beware Of Chicken Alternate Universe: Soaring Heaven's Isle

Zou Lin was on top of the world, as she watched the party unfolding from the head table. The entire world had an odd glow to it, and the lights sparkled just a bit brighter.

She had just won the prestigious Rising Fairy Tournament, defeating many powerful opponents. She was sure to advance another stage in her cultivation after the resources she had just received. She was going to receive pointers from all three Elders who had been present.

She had done it. All her hard work had paid off.

The party was a massive affair; the tables were groaning with how laden they were with food; the sect had hired a Spiritual Chef to make everything, and all of it was utterly delicious.

“Ganbei!” one of her sisters shouted, as she poured Lin another cup of wine. “Three cheers to our sister!”

The rest of the fairies roared with approval, as Lin smiled.

“Ganbei.” The man beside her said, and held out his cup. They clinked their vessels together, but Lin couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

She still couldn’t believe Elder Minyan had said yes. She was spending the evening with Tianzhe Minyan’s son! The cultivation arts of Soaring Heaven’s Isle trended towards producing female offspring. Most men did not have enough Yang to counteract their potent Yin energies… which was probably for the best. No man was allowed to live permanently in the Sect… and any sons would be recommended to other sects.

But here was Shen Rou; son of one of the greatest women to ever exist. Naturally, he was allowed to bend the rules a little. A handsome Young Master, just like the stories! Granted, she didn’t really know how this worked outside those stories, but he had been polite, he was handsome and charming, and he hadn’t looked once at the other girls who kept trying to get his attention. He only responded to the ones that were polite when they came up, and congratulated her on her victory.

He had asked her about her past and kept the conversation light, but she was fairly certain she had told him a bit more than she normally told other people. That… that was a good thing, right?! That meant he liked her? It was going well, right?!

That meant they were going to get married, like the stories, the rising star of the sect and the Young Master challenging the heavens together and—no, no, she was getting ahead of herself! This wasn’t one of those stories.

Lin took another gulp of wine to soothe her nerves, and basked in the atmosphere. This was the best day ever!

================================

Honestly, the party was surprisingly boring.

Well, boring for me at least. My “date” was clearly having the time of her life being the center of attention, basking in the glow of her victory. Everybody kept on congratulating her, pouring her drinks, or cheering.

Lin could hold her booze. She was knocking back bottle after bottle like a champ.

In between those interruptions, I made kind of general smalltalk with her. She was from far to the North East, from a place called the Blind Forest in Black-White Grove. It was called the Blind Forest because the spores from the trees would render any non-native well… blind. The province itself was apparently entirely monochrome, due to some trick of the light that bleached everything. Blood looked black, the sun white, and the sky was some shade of grey. Lin hadn't even known what colours were until the Soaring Heaven’s Isle Skyship exited the province…. And she had been left like an ink painting, her body all in black and white.

Now her hair was dyed blue, and her clothes were bright greens, reds and pinks. Her lips were painted red. The only thing of that place that remained was her literal white complexion—like alabaster, or marble.

I focused on those small details both because they were interesting… and because it was better than the alternative.

“Young Master! Young Master, over here!”

You know the worst part of being surrounded by girls you can't touch? You can't touch them.

Even when all of them are screaming for your attention and want to get to know you better.

A part of me wished that it was all real, and not because they thought I was somebody I wasn’t. I knew what they wanted… but I couldn’t.

Because I wasn’t Shen Rou, son of Tianzhe Minyan. I was Jin Rou, street rat from Crimson Crucible City, and some guy from Canada.

Minyan had protected me. She faked a bit of motherly concern for me out of whatever respect she had for gramps. But I didn’t want to see how long that protection lasted when I started taking liberties with her subordinates—and if, or when people found out about our deception… I’d rather not have any of that counting against me.

So, I did nothing. I played dumb… though I have to admit some of it wasn’t just me playing dumb. It was easy when people were obvious like this, but fuck man, how did normal girls actually work? I wasn’t some casanova, damn it!

Neither half of me had figured that shit out in our eighteen years of life. Fuck—I had been supposed to go to university next year.

The thought instantly sobered me. I hadn’t really had time to think of the other place… but I hoped my family were alright. And the boys at the wastewater plant. It was a shitty job (heh) but somebody had to do it.

I nearly called for Bailu and Seiyu so I would have a more familiar face around… but Minyan had told them to go home after they had spent the hours waiting for the feast to finish, constantly radiating killing intent.

So I was stuck here. I did have at least one friendly face though. I smiled at Xiaobao when I saw her looking down at us from the Elder’s table. Minyan had told me yesterday that she wasn’t angry at me, just embarrassed. Me spilling my spaghetti all over her when we first met was pretty cringe. That said, she did look absolutely awesome. She had even shared some exercise tips with me yesterday.

And then the Elders made it a bit worse.

“We, the Elders, shall be retiring for tonight.” Elder Minyan announced, as they rose. “Be at liberty, with our eyes no longer upon you… but do not be at too much liberty.”

Her sharp gaze did nothing to stop the cheers, nor the predatory looks as everybody else downed another cup of wine.

I looked up at Minyan… who seemed conflicted over something.

“Enjoy your night, Rou.” was all she said.

….the fuck did that mean?

A sea shanty started up from the girls, tables were cleared, and people started eyeing me more as people started dancing. I was grateful for the couple sets of women who found dark corners to start making out in—they were the ones who weren’t looking at me like I was a piece of meat.

It was stifling. Even Lin started to look a bit uncomfortable with how many people were looking our way.

Well, her reward was to have my company for the night…

“What do you say we try and get out of here?” I asked Lin. The woman nearly choked on her bottle of wine… before she nodded eagerly and downed the rest of it.

Now. The question was, just how were we going to leave when we were the center of attention…

Luckily, I didn’t have to think of one.

“Little Sisters, you have all shown the might of our Isle today.” Xiaobao’s voice was surprisingly soft, and had the perfect timbre to send shivers up my spine as she walked in front of the crowd. She wasn’t an Elder, and seemingly included in the whole ‘let loose and have fun’ order. “I am proud of every competitor.”

From her body, a massive aura formed; a giant red bird, its Qi reaching out to Qi to envelop the girls in a protective embrace. Everybody looked at her, as the older woman smiled warmly at them.

“Lady Xiaobao!”

“Senior Sister!”

“Go. Make your escape.” Xiaobao said, her single eye turning to me for a moment. Man, she was just like an awesome Big Sister.

“Thank you.” was all I said, as I slipped out the back door with Lin.

===============================

A couple minutes of going down random hallways found us on a balcony underneath the stars. The sounds of music had faded a bit, but at least nobody was staring at me anymore.

I sighed happily, as I leaned against the railing, and looked up at the moon.

“Nice night tonight, eh?” I asked Lin, as I turned back towards her. She was staring at me, her face flushed.

“Huhuhu… this is juuuuust like the stories! This is amazin’!” she slurred.

I blinked. Two hands clamped over my wrists, and I stared into the hazy eyes of Zou Lin.

I was wrong. She couldn’t hold her drink. The woman was sauced out of her fucking mind.

She giggled and hiccuped.

“Thizzz thiz is the part where we dual cultivate, right? You fell in love with me an we’re gonna dual cultivate an im gonna be Elder Minyan’s successor and we’re gonna get married and ascend and I’m gonna be the best at everything.”

Shit. Her eyes were completely gone, focused on some unknown future.

“Ah, Lin, I’m sorry, but I think there's been a misunderstanding—” I started

She leaned in to try and kiss me. I managed to dodge, and she giggled.

“Hard to get~” she singsonged, as the pressure of her grip increased, and with surprisingly swift and sure movements she shoved us both over so she was on top of my hips. “Two Young Masters are better than one. Hic!”

Her eyes had crossed.

I tried to get my wrists out of her hold but she was a full realm ahead of me, and very much determined to not let go.

“Wouldn’t this be better on a bed?” I tried. If she let go I could have a chance to leg it… or with how fucked up she was she would conk out before we got there.

“Nuuuuuuuu. Moon! Like the stories!” she declared, alcohol sweet breath hitting my nose. She bit her lip.

You know, this was kind of hot—but she was drunk as a skunk. I sighed internally. This was going to turn into a fight, and I was going to have to fist fight a woman so she wouldn’t do something I very much wanted her to do.

“Lin. we really shouldn’t—” I tried again.

Lin was giggling and starting to lean down again when somebody slammed a bucket over her head. Water poured over both of us.

“Young Master! I’ll save you!” a voice cried—and then with a sound like a machine gun, the mystery woman started bashing the hell out of the bucket with her mop.

I could only imagine the hell that Lin was experiencing under there.

Lin fell off me, flailing, but the mystery woman kept going at her. “Divine punishment! Divine punishment! Touching the Young Master like that, you dare?!”

She looked absolutely enraged, tears in her eyes—wait, I knew this girl!

“Miss Flasher?” I asked, and Flasher-Chan froze, her rage turning into mortification.

“Miss Flasher…?!” she asked, her vengeful mop going limp.

Lin managed to pull the bucket off her head, which was producing water from a crystal in its bottom.

She then promptly hurled, and then collapsed face first into it.

At least we could probably keep this quiet, with only one witness—

“Young Master, are you well? I felt your Qi flaring…” Xiaobao trailed off, as she looked at me soaking wet, mop-girl, and Lin passed out in her own vomit. She looked very concerned. “Is this how one lays with a man?” she asked.

I pinched the bridge of my nose…and then pulled out my transmission stone.

“Hey, Bailu, Seiyu? Could I have a hand, please?”

=========================================

For the first time since I had met them, my ostensible maids did maid things. They were actually very good at getting vomit off people.

They started carrying Lin back to her room, with myself, Flasher-Chan, and Xiaobao following after. The big lady looked rather troubled. The ship was quiet… but we didn’t dodge everybody. A very pretty lady with the most impressive set of tits I had ever seen on a woman, and I had just had too shitty a day to be polite even in my own head. Her figure was positively lush, and she had both a mature face and a kind of motherly aura about her. She had been on night watch, instead of at the party.

She took one look at us and sighed. “Lady Xiaobao. Senior Sisters.”

“Liusei! You’ll give us a hand, right?” Bailu asked. The woman raised an eyebrow.

“I never should have told anyone I had a daughter.” the woman grumped… but picked up Lin with practised ease. “Good evening Young Master. This one is Yangtze Liusei, of Yellow Rock Plateau. I’ll get her to her room...though I will have to report this.”

Everybody winced.

“Um… could you make sure everybody knows this wasn’t her fault? She was really drunk, and I might have accidentally given her the wrong idea.” I said.

The woman bowed. “I shall tell Elder Minyan.”

“Also, can you put in a good word for Miss Flasher—er, uh, I’m sorry, whats your name?” I continued. Miss Flasher wilted. Bailu and Seiyu looked like christmas had come early.

“Shilong Seireishang, Young Master.” Flasher-chan replied. Wow. Her name was a mouthful. And I already knew Seiyu, so shortening it to Sei would just get confusing.

“Well, thanks, Rei. Yeah, She helped me out, so she sould get some credit.” Rei perked up at the nickname.

“I will do so, Young Master.” Liusei replied, giving me a warm smile.

“Oh, yeah, did the courier you hired come back yet?” Bailu asked, as we started walking down the hall again.

“No. I shall likely have to send another… but maybe it is fate, that my letters are not arriving—or my Little Orchid is refusing to answer.” Liusei responded.

“You could just go yourself.” Bailu said with a shrug, but the woman grimaced, and didn’t say anything else.

We eventually got Lin to her room.

“Thank you, Liusei, Rei.” I said.

“Yeah, thanks Liuliu, Miss Flasher.” Bailu said cheerily.

“Goodnight, Liusei, Rei the Flasher.” Seiyu said too.

Flasher-chan looked like she wanted to curl up and die.

We walked to the docks, the four of us. I didn’t really know why Xiaobao was still here… but she seemed nice enough. She had helped me out, and had that “cool big sister” feeling around her.

“I have had a really shitty party.” I declared. “So now I have to have a fun party. Senior Sister Xiaobao… could I request the pleasure of your company?”

The big woman blinked in confusion, but nodded her head.

====================================

Wuting Xiaobao didn’t know what she was doing here, as she flew alongside the little skiff. Part of her said it was to make sure nothing else would happen to the Young Master, seeing as it had been her fault he was in that predicament to begin with.

The party had been painful. Feelings of jealousy that she had thought she had completely conquered had reared their ugly head as she watched Zou Lin interact with the Young Master.

Foolish, she had been. Utterly foolish. He had complimented her. He had called her beautiful, and that was no world of a lie… but that did not mean he saw her.. Like that.

Of course he would most certainly prefer the company of younger, prettier fairies. He was a young man.

So stupid, she had been. But his words had warmed her heart, so she had decided to lend him a hand in escaping the party. It was the least she could do, for the first man who had ever made her feel like an actual woman.

And then it turned out her action had nearly led to him being…

Xiaobao shook the thought away.

And yet instead of being angry, he had invited her to have a more private party with him. On his private island.

“Thanks for helping me slip out earlier, Senior Sister.” he said, and his voice startled her out of her introspection. “I’m kind of glad it ended early. It was pretty boring.”

“You do not enjoy the company of such fairies?” She asked.

“Nah. I’d rather spend time with Bailu, Seiyu… and well, you. You guys don’t make me feel uncomfortable.”

And just like that, Xiaobao felt her face starting to go red again. Her heart pounded in her throat.

The rest of the night was a blur of alcohol, and dancing—especially dancing around a little tree. It was a strange thing, with three trunks all connected at the bottom… but it felt… nice.

She even slept there… and when she woke up, it was with her arm around the Young Master’s shoulder, and with him resting partially on her chest.

He looked up and smiled at her. There was no shock or revulsion in his eyes.

“You’re way comfier than Bailu and Seiyu.” he declared.

Xiaobao’s face turned completely crimson.

She had no idea what to do… but her master would know.

Xiaobao resolved to find her adoptive mother, and beg her for the secrets of men.

=============================================

Zou Lin moaned as she snuggled into her covers. Her head was pounding like a drum and she felt like shit. Just what had happened last night—

Her eyes shot open. Her white skin somehow paled even further.

She was up and out of bed, not bothering to change out of her simple robe, and sprinting for Elder Minyan’s mansion as fast as she could run. The wards were down, and the woman was sitting outside on a rock, looking out over the horizon.

Lin jumped, tucked her legs in, and skidded on the gravel the last half a li, until she stopped in a perfect kowtow before the woman.

“Elder Minyan! Please kill me!” She begged.

And yet… she was not killed.

She was spared by the grace of the Young Master—though she did have a punishment detail.

She gladly took the mop from a similarly happy Midship girl, who didn’t have to mop the rest of the Godship.

“Thank you for stopping me, Sister Flasher.” Lin said earnestly.

Sister Flasher’s bright smile turned brittle.