Between Your Letter and My Reply

Chapter 9

[Translation By Divinity]

“You look like you’re wondering how I knew. Well, when guys ask questions they normally wouldn’t, it’s usually related to a woman. Especially about looks. If a guy who never cared about his appearance suddenly starts acting like he does, what else could it be?”

“There could be other reasons. There’s no guarantee that the person they want to impress is a woman…”

“Oh, of course, there are people like that. Are you perhaps one of them? Don’t worry, you can tell me; I won’t tell anyone. I’m very open-minded about those things.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not.”

“Really? Then where did you meet this woman? You never have private conversations with women in the camp, and you don’t go down to the village either.”

Paul clasped his hands behind his head and turned his upper body towards Damian.

“Ah, pen pal!”

Damian flinched at Paul’s correct guess. Emboldened by his reaction, Paul asked with a curious expression.

“It’s been about three months since you started exchanging letters, right? You’re still doing it? You’re quite diligent with your replies. Is it a woman? Come to think of it, didn’t you receive a handkerchief in a package? And you took a photo recently, didn’t you?”

Damian unconsciously lowered his gaze.

“What? You’ve even exchanged photos? Is she pretty? What’s she like?”

If Paul weren’t his superior and cousin, Damian would have definitely punched him a few times.

“Love blossoming through letters. I’m touched. You’re a man after all.”

Damian pretended to wipe away tears of emotion and then couldn’t hold back anymore, kicking Paul’s shin.

It was a clear act of insubordination, but Paul was too busy teasing Damian to notice the pain in his leg.

“Hey, you’re the one who suggested the pen pal thing. What’s with this reaction?”

“I didn’t expect you to take it seriously. You’re listening to your older brother, being a good boy. You should have acted like this from the start.”

Damian clutched his forehead and shook his head. Paul continued chattering, sticking close to Damian even while getting their food.

“The higher-ups often do useless things, but in your case, Damian, it’s had an unexpected outcome. I never knew a guy who was so emotionally closed off could change just from a few letters.”

When Damian sat down at the table, Paul quickly took the seat opposite him.

Damian grimaced but said nothing, shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth since he had initiated the conversation.

“You don’t want to tell me about her?”

“Well, for starters… I don’t know what she looks like, and she doesn’t know what I look like either.”

“Why? You took a photo, didn’t you?”

“It was a group photo. She couldn’t find me in it.”

“Then why didn’t you get her photo? Did she say she didn’t want to give it to you?”

“I said I wasn’t interested in receiving it.”

Paul’s face was filled with shock at Damian’s answer.

“You didn’t actually say that to her, did you?”

“Yes, I did. And I got scolded for it.”

At the nonchalant reply, Paul kicked Damian’s foot under the table.

“Go die. Just die. You’re hopeless.”

“That hurts.”

“You kicked me earlier too. So? She still replied even after you said that?”

“Yes.”

Paul clicked his tongue.

“She’s not ordinary either.”

“I guess not.”

“In a way, she’s a good match for you.”

“I don’t know about that.”

Paul, who had already finished his meal, rested his chin on his hand and stared at Damian as he ate.

“If you’re not interested in her, why do you bother replying?”

Damian stopped eating and answered.

“…I felt like I shouldn’t betray her expectations.”

“What expectations?”

“She’s probably waiting for my letter, and if I don’t reply… she’ll think I’m dead…”

It was what Paul had told him before. And Lintray had said something similar to Damian. She was always looking forward to his replies.

Damian knew how it felt to have expectations betrayed. He had experienced it firsthand with Marquis Jeska.

Expectations were different from mere hopes; they left people feeling dejected when betrayed. It was a worse feeling than any other emotion.

“I don’t mind if the letters stop because she gets bored, but I don’t want to leave her thinking that.”

“Hmm…”

Paul crossed his arms in a rather arrogant posture and hummed.

“I don’t understand why someone like you is here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re not cut out to be a career soldier.”

“I have no plans to leave the military, though.”

Damian finished his soup, scraping the bowl clean, and stood up. Paul followed suit. They placed their trays on the return counter and left the mess hall.

“You’re lying about not being interested, aren’t you?”

Damian let out a small sigh instead of answering. His expression turned indifferent, as if he was tired of dealing with Paul.

Before stopping his teasing, Paul slapped Damian’s back.

“You’re a softie, despite everything.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“You’re disgusting too, you know.”

Paul wiped his hand on his clothes, the one that had touched Damian’s back.

***

[To Lady Lintray, who seems to have no talent for deduction.

I’m truly disappointed, Lady Lintray. I’m disappointed once because you think Sergeant B is the most handsome in the photo, and twice because your image of me is so utterly ordinary, revealing your lack of imagination. Ah, you think my words are harsh? But please forgive this small complaint, considering my wounded heart.

October 18th, 1878. Second Lieutenant McCord, who was just told he’s handsome by his superior.

P.S. Do you imagine me to be less handsome than Glenn?]

[To Second Lieutenant McCord, who is clearly sulking.

Expressing such sulky feelings and even getting jealous of Glenn is quite unexpected. You claiming to be handsome shows you want to win a looks contest against him. Well, I’m a year older, so I’ll let it slide. Twenty is an age when you’re very conscious of your appearance. Yes, I was the same at twenty. I understand.]

‘Even if you’re older, it’s only by a year, Lady!’

Damian felt a surge of emotion.

He didn’t mind being younger than Lintray, but being treated as mentally younger was a blow to his pride.

However, as Lintray said, objectively speaking, he had been sulking, so he had no retort.

[Glenn is just average-looking. He has no flaws, but nothing particularly outstanding either. He’s a common face. So I’m sure you, the self-proclaimed handsome Second Lieutenant McCord, are more handsome. Are you satisfied with my answer?

Anyway, since you’re so confident about your looks, I’m even more curious about what you look like. If you won’t send a photo, I hope you’ll come see me soon.]

‘Hmm… I only said I’d visit as a casual remark.’

Damian felt awkward, realizing Lintray seemed to be taking his words quite seriously.

As long as the war continued, he didn’t know when he could return to Istarica, and even if he did, he had no plans to actually visit Lintray.

He wasn’t even sure how long this relationship would last. It was a shallow connection that could easily end if either of them stopped replying, and they didn’t even know each other’s faces or names.

Thinking about it, Damian realized he knew very little about Lintray. They had exchanged casual conversations, but they had rarely talked about Lintray herself.

He knew she was 21, her mother had passed away, and she lived in Edenfallen with her father… or maybe with a servant too. And that she had a dog. Her only friend seemed to be Glenn. That was it.

And Lintray probably knew even less about him. He had never volunteered any information about himself, and he hadn’t elaborated when she asked about his family.

Damian believed there was no need to reveal too much about himself in a relationship that could end at any time. Besides, someone whose personal details he didn’t even know would be easily forgotten.

His existence wouldn’t burden Lintray or anything.

‘We’re just doing this because we need an excuse to pass the time. Once we get busy, we’ll probably forget all about the letters.’

Damian flicked the letter lightly.

‘Especially women. If they get married or something, they’ll probably cut off all contact with an unverified stranger like me.’

As he was thinking this, Damian nodded to himself, then suddenly stopped.

‘Huh?’

Something inside him ached.