Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Summary: Adressing some issues between old pals.

"How … how did you fit literally everything into your backpack?" Ruby watched Pearl stare at Quartz. "The space volume alone could never …"

"First rule of the cheeseburger backpack, never question it." The boy smiled. "The second rule is to never doubt the cheeseburger backpack. Third is to trust the cheeseburger backpack. If you care for your cheeseburger backpack, it will care for you tenfold."

"It gave us a raft, I'm not complaining. If the cheeseburger backpack is god, it's god." Amethyst shrugged. "Always loved the lazy river ride." She looked around. "Where's your sister?"

"Swimming with the fishes." They all stare at the boy.

"How could you say something so horrible with a simple-" Star jumped out of the water, laughing as she rode a dolphin, before going back down. "... Nevermind."

"Whoa! Now that was a rush! And to think I didn't need to use magic to have a fun time." Star laughed when the dolphin let her come back up. "Apparently all you need to survive around gem stuff are sweaters, bagel sandwiches, and a raft."

"Yes, the two of you did manage to be quite resourceful in situations such as this." Pearl acknowledged. It was a good thing none of them actually expected the sea spire to hold up, otherwise pearl would've been more devastated.

"Yeah, sorry about leaving behind the statue.." Steven started to say.

"Oh, you mean this thing?" Star reached into her own bag of a star with a derpy looking face, and pulled out the moon goddess statue that they could've used five minutes ago. "Found it underwater, it was stuck in one of the Dolphin's air holes." Said creature chirped and rubbed its head against Star. "Aww you adorable little guy."

"Huh, I guess I didn't forget it then! It probably just fell out of my bag! Wow, egg on my face." The brother and sister duo laughed as she and Pearl groaned.

"Wait a second, Sapphire should have known this would happen!" Ruby realized. "The little scamp … guess she can pull a prank." Ruby snickered.

"So in the end, this mission wasn't a failure, if the point was to just have a good time!" Star cheered.

"Well, yea, I suppose in that context it counts, but we shouldn't be.." Pearl tried to inject some rationality into the conversation.

"Yeah, the mission was a complete success!" Steven cheered, jumping into the water and grabbing on to his own dolphin."

"Technically yes, but there was still the factor of restoring the spire.."

"Complete success!" Amethyst joined in, shapeshifting herself into a dolphin. "Dolphin race! First one to make it back home first wins!"

"Dolphin race!" Star and Steven clapped hands, and the three of them swam away, forgetting the two of them on the raft.

"..." Pearl sighed. "When we took Ste-... Quartz in, I thought it was going to be easy. Teach him something here and there, occasional history lessons. Now we have to keep track of crazy kids running rampant."

"You really don't pay attention to humans if you think raising a kid would be easy. Even I knew that by myself without Sapphire." Ruby chuckled.

"I suppose, the plan was to leave Greg to take care of the human aspect." Pearl sighed. "But he wasn't raised by simple humans, he's been raised by wild and chaotic Mewmans! Ones that are a terrible influence on him."

"Terrible influence?" Ruby asked, looking at the kids racing with dolphins and unscratched despite a falling temple. "Where do you see that at?"

"He's just so…nonchalant about the destruction!"

"So is Garnet." Ruby counterd. "When I see the look on that face, it's a kid that just loves living life, just like a certain pink gem used to."

"... They really do have that same smile, don't they?" Pearl's expression got notably warmer and softer. "I just wanted to ease him into things more slowly I guess, maybe wait until he was fifty to take him on his first mission."

"…You say that like you're certain he won't age like a normal human."

"Well, he has her gem." That didn't mean squat. "That's enough for now. Let's just paddle and hope it doesn't take us two days to reach civilization." With Ruby's strength? They could do it in one.

========================================================================

Lars debated between walking inside and standing outside. In the joint known as Kofi's Pizza sat the cool kids. Buck Dewey, Jenny Pizza, Sour Cream, Jackie Lin Tomas, Justin Armberg, and … Oskar. He wasn't quite sure why that last one was here, but he seemed to be having a very serious discussion with Sour Cream. The group that was envied by everyone, popularity and fame, and completely unapproachable to anyone of lesser social status.

Hence he was once more debating the perfect way to approach them … or more hopefully, they approach him. He needs to posture himself just right. Just keep up the appearance, and eventually, his natural charisma would wow them eventually. He may have been at this for the last few years, but eventually they'd notice … right?

"I'm telling you, you're not a member of this planet until you've had pizza." … Marco. Of course he was showing up, and with the freaks too. Specifically with that forign girl Star Butterfly. He wasn't sure who the third guy was, but he had to be a weirdo if he was wearing that knight get up for no reason.

Alright, no problem, just pretend that he couldn't see them and hope they would pass by without even noticing him. "Hey, donut man! Whatcha doin looking all depressed and alone instead of making donuts?!" The blonde girl shouted at him.

"None of your business." He grumbled.

"Aww, come on. We're getting pizza! Let's get you food for all the food and treats you've given us!"

"Can we not invite him?" Marco grumbled as well.

"I'm confused." The third guy spoke up. "Do we like him, or hate him?"

"He's a jerk." Marco deadpanned.

"He and Sadie gave me the last refrigerator of cookie cats, in a Cookie Cat refrigerator." Star's explanation made the kid's eye's sparkle.

"The one Cookie Cat related piece of merchandise I never got my hands on! Why didn't you tell me you had it!?" The jumpy kid then turned to him, and shook his arm all around. "Quartz Universe Butterfly, thank you for your kind gift, Donut Man."

"I thought you hung out with nerds, not morons?" He asked Diaz.

"Don't give me that, they're from out of town." Marco rolled his eyes. "And at least I have people I hang out with, and not just a coworker." He looked through the window. "What are you even doing here…she's here!?" The hooded kid backed away and tried to hide.

"Oh, Quartz, that's Jackie, Marco's crush." Blondie smirked.

"Oh, so he's already dating somebody?" The kid's question seemed to freak Marco out even more, which Lar's admittedly enjoyed seeing.

"Nah, he's super shy, so he just poses around and …" The girl gasped. "Do you have a crush on the girl in there?" What? How was THAT what she got from his learning!? "Need me to talk you up for her? I'm on it!"

"NO, no, no, no!" Using every bit of energy he had, he managed to barricade the girl from barging in, probably cracking a rib or two doing so. "I know you're new to this country or whatever, but those are the cool kids! You don't talk to them, you let them come to you! That's like the law."

"Quartz is already talking with them." Marco deadpanned. Lar's looked through, and sure enough, the kid was speaking to the group, most definitely saying something stupid that would scar him for life when the cool kid's swatted him away like a fly. "Please don't point, please don't point…too late, he pointed outside, he's talking about us."

The girl started dragging him in before he even knew it. "Hey y'all, what's the topic?" She asked as if it was no big deal, when in reality it was a VERY BIG ONE!.

"Well, Quartz here agrees with me." Oskar stated. "Animal noises CAN be a form of musical entertainment." … What?

"When arranged for videos, raves require an entirely different beat." Sour Cream argued.

"Animal noises are basically nature's orchestra. You just gotta find the right ones that mix together the best." The new kid said one of the dumbest lines of words he's ever heard, but the group at the table was nodding in agreement.

"And when you find the perfect beat, you just give it a twirl." The girl started spinning so fast her heals were creating fucking sparks.

"Star Butterfly Rules!!" Justin screamed out of nowhere.

"Unbelievable." Lars rolled his eyes. Somehow, these morons were tricking the cool kids into accepting them among their ranks at the moment. "Is this how it goes everyday for you?"

"Weirdly yes. People awe at the insanity rather than run away from it." Marco rolled his eyes, their shared disbelief actually putting the two on the same page for once in years. It was freaking weird.

"So Marco.." Diaz froze on the spot as Jackie spoke the dunce's name. "I betcha you got a lot to talk about now, living with Star and all her crazy."

"Yeah it's umm … really crazy." How was he like this!?

"This is actually a different kind of crazy." The blond poke. "We actually just came in here because Quartz never had pizza."

"I've had cheesy bread, what difference does tomato sauce and sausage make?"

Jenny shook her head. "Oh no, none of that! Papa, get this boy his first pizza!"

"You're not truly human until you've tried pizza." Buck Dewy said coolly with a slight lift of his shades.

"Well, I did just find out I am half human, and half magic rock…however that works." The kid had to be born under the right stars in a field of four leaf clovers at the end of the rainbow, because the entire table was laughing WITH him instead of AT him.

"Hey, we're heading up some joints later, hitting some half pints and skinny dipping. You guys feel like joining?" Jackie asked them.

"Skating and swimming? Totally!" Star answered for all of them, apparently not at all embarrassed at the notion of getting naked.

"Star, I really doubt that.." Lars covered Marco's mouth and dragged him to the side before he could ruin his once chance. "Dude, seriously!? We barely talk for five years, and you immediately go mega jerk wad."

"Look Diaz, I don't know what the hell is going on, but for once you're hanging out with people that are considered cool, and I am not about to let you blow it like you did last time." Lars glared.

"The hell heck you mean last time?" He accused HIM of all people.

"We were all gonna go scattering, then you started listing 'dangerous factoids' about the injuries for a solid five minutes before everyone ditched us."

"I was just being reasonable!" The nerd shouted indignantly before sighing. "Fine, I'll go along with this, but only because Star's doesn't know any better."

"Relax, you and your weirdo girlfriend should be fine as long as she doesn't turn into another bug monster." That purple face still haunted his nightmares.

"I would take offense if you weren't a victim."

========================================================================

Jackie smirked. "So Marco, you started riding lions now?"

"Kinda, the dude only lets Quartz and Star ride it most of the time … anyone else is occasional." The boy spoke, looking at Quartz and Oskar jamming like they rode a pink lion next to a car.

"I think earth is a pretty gre-at place!

That's saying something, cause I've

Been to outer space!

I think it suits me, It's just my sty-le!

I don't mind staying a lit-tle while!

I think strangers are friends you haven't met!

I blast monsters, and I never break a sweat!

I'm really thinking I could ca-all this pla-ace home!" 

For such a short song, it was really catchy, and she caught most, if not everyone constantly humming it, everyone except that Lar's guy, who looked like he didn't know how to fit in with the sizable group. It was basically the same look she usually saw on Marco before Star came along.

"You are an awesome musician!" The boy with pink clothing shouted.

"You're not too bad yourself." Oskar smirked. "I learned from my favorite master of the arts, Mr Universe."

"... Have you ever met him?" He asked, almost tentatively. The kid looked pleading.

"He hung around a couple of parking lots in that van of his, taught me the ways of the keytar every so often." Oskar explained. "Really chill guy that knows how to take it easy at just the right time, usually tries to smile even when personal stuff gets him down."

"Oh…that's nice." Quartz held his head down, though Star sent him a back pat through that wand of hers making a big stretchy hand.

"We'll find where he is someday, Quartz. You'll talk to your dad one of these days, I promise." Whatever funck the boy was in immediately got lifted. "So you guys just drive randomly to places too? Whenever me and Quartz hope on Lion, he usually takes us to any random dimension, it's fun…except that time with the dimension of human face cats." The girl shivered.

"That's the power of a driver's license, and a parents car." Jenny smirked. "Well that and Buck is the mayor's son, but he doesn't like to use that too much."

"I will fight my own powers, and for my own future." The man nodded. "And when I get there, it'll be epic, because I'll love it."

"Ooof, you're preaching to the choir here. I'm next in line for the throne back in Mewni, but I am making my own way to it." Star stood from her seat. "I'm not going to lessons on boring old lectures from Moon about how a queen sits properly and has boring songs written about her. I'm going to be more awesome than punching anyone in the face that has a problem with how I roll."

"Least none of you have a step dad constantly telling you to become a fisherman." Sour cream rolled his eyes. "I tell him, 'Yellow Tail, I'm not going on that boat', and he's all like 'Mwauh, mwauh, wah, wah, wah whaah', and I tell him that I do have my future planned out, it's just not going to be on a boat."

"Sounds rough buddy." Quartz spoke. "What about you Marco, never hear your plans for the future."

"Oh…you know, stuff…" The guy just shuffled in his spot awkwardly. "Doing Karate has kept me in shape, but I'm not that into sports aside from it..I'm not really into the art scene like my parents are…I guess I never gave a lot of thought into what I specifically want to do."

"Better decide fast, or you may end up in the fast food Business like Jenny." Jackie snickered.

"I'll have you know I have plans girl, I'm gonna go big and wild!" The girl snickered. "If anyone's going broke, It's Justin."

"Not true, me and Britney are gonna make it big as football stars and cheerleaders."

"Oh yeah, that mean girl that sends me those weird looks at school." Star chuckled. "Haven't seen that much after her birthday on the bus."

"Eh, you're better off. She's been hanging around this creep named Kevin lately. Best not to get involved with that mess." The guy looked like he dressed down every girl that came his way. "So Lars, what's your big story?" She asked the one guy who's been silent this whole time.

"Me!?" The guy shrieked, apparently not expecting to be called out like this, and he started getting a little sweaty. "Oh, eh, just..uh..you know … stuff.." Fake it till you make it was not an approach that would work here.

"Wow." Star spoke. "And here I thought Marco and Quartz were bad with women."

"HEY!" The two shouted indignantly.

"Just calling it how I see it!"

"Need I remind you of the B-A-L-L on who you thought was C-U-T-E?" Quartz countered back.

"And need I remind you of how you'd totally want to date K-E-L…"

"I will turn this lion around so help me!" The boy looked at his lion, which didn't look back. "... I would so turn this lion around if I could!"

Jackie just watched the whole thing unfold and couldn't help but laugh at the endearing sibling banter. "We haven't even reached the fun part, and I'm already having a blast. You got pretty cool friends, Marco."

"Oh, yeah, they're really awesome." The boy smiled, blushing. "Life hasn't been the same with them in it." He looked at the road. "So where are we heading anyway?

"Deadman's Mouth." Jenny spoke up. "It's shaped like a mouth … or someone died there, I don't remember." The boy paled at that. Eh, she didn't see the problem, it's not like anything too crazy came from a rumor.

========================================================================

"So does yellow tape mean it's okay for us to be here?" Marco heard Quartz ask the group, and as the resident human guide to all Mewmans and dimensional travelers, it was his duty to make sure they didn't do anything that would get them killed or incarcerated.

"No, it's a warning to not enter. From POLICE!" He shouted. "Meaning that as much … 'fun' that we would have in there, we would do our best to-"

"I have scissors!" Star smirked. "Who wants to do the honors of cutting it down!" His faith in humanity died as literally everyone other than him and Quartz raised their hands. 

"Come on, Diaz, don't be a wet blanket now when we're already this far." Lars angrily whispered to him as Buck took the scissors and cut through the ribbon, probably as a way to mock his dad's ceremonial ribbon cuttings.

"There is a fine line between danger and felony, and I've recently been exposed to only one of those things." He argued back, looking out as the group went forward. "That's not even mentioning the deadman thing! That alone tells how close to the edge we are!"

"Didn't you and Star walk through the forest of certain death with the Diaz's?" Quartz asked him.

"That wasn't my idea, and it was by luck and ignorance my parents didn't notice anything off that day." He honestly wondered if his mom and dad even noticed how much dange the laser puppies caused to the house alone. "So we're here, what next?" He nonetheless walked through, knowing any chance at fighting against everyone would be pointless.

"What else, we're swimming." Sour Cream pointed to a small river, dark and surrounded by moss growing from practically every corner. "Better hurry, the last one in's a rotting fish." The aspiring DJ began taking off his shirt.

"Not on my watch, come Quartz, we're heading in first!" Star didn't even give her brother a chance to respond as she dragged him into the water before he could protest.

"Can't we just think this oooooooo…" His entire rant and thought process both shutdown the moment Jackie took off her shirt, revealing a two piece underneath. "Maybe…no, no..don't get swayed, don't get swayed." He turned away, no matter how tempting it was to look. "We need rational, and thought, and-we're the only ones that haven't jumped in, aren't we?"

"Just … gotta … get this …" Lars spoke, struggling with his shirt. Right, of course, he turned and saw everyone playing in the water.

"Does the water look toxic!?" He shouted to the group. "Any bones or other worrying factors to take in that would require police tape!?"

"Nah, I can't see anything!" Quartz shouted back, floating in the water. "Just a lake. There aren't any fish in it either, just moss." The boy looked at it, poking the substance. "So squishy-" The moss jumped from its spot the instant it was poked, grabbing the boy's face in a horrific manner. "MMMHHH!!!!"

"Quartz!" Star shouted, swimming directly towards her brothers and grabbing the moss. "Don't worry, I'll get this evil sludge off of…" She didn't get the chance as the moss grew in mass and covered her arms and reached towards her face. "I always knew any vegetable aside from corn was evil…!" 

"Star…!" Marco had to suppress the urge to jump in himself, knowing that the same fate would follow him if he tried. "Everyone, out of the water, now!" He shouted to the group. "Double time, danger ahead!"

"Marco, what's happening…" Jackie called out to him, as she got on her feet in shallow water, but the moss reached her too, grabbing her by the legs. "AHHHH!"

"Quarterback strength, don't fail me now!" Justin ripped at the moss, which instantly spread back. "My Quarterback strength has failed me!?"

"Marco…Lars…please.." The bodies of their now moss covered companions slowly inched their way towards the shore, the moss looking like it was only growing more and more. It didn't look like there was enough space in there for breathing either.

"What the heck!?" Lars went to grab them, but Marco held him back. "Let me go Diaz!"

"If you touch them you'll end up just like them!" He argued, grabbing a stick and trying to rip it off, but every time even the smallest bit was torn it instantly regrew. He could hear gasps of air when he went for the face. They weren't able to breathe under there. "Nononono."

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!?" Lars let a few tears of frustration fall from his eyes. "Why does this always happen when you and your freakish friends are around!?"

Marco didn't know what he was feeling, panic, rage, frustration, despair, but in that instant he socked Lars in the jaw. "Don't you dare blame them for THIS! I warned you about the police tape, but did you listen? NO! Because you wanted to be a reckless moron for the thrills and clout! This is on you and the others Lars, not them!!"

"...." Lars didn't respond right away, only looking guilty as more tears fell from his face. "..So what's the plan? You're more prepared for this than I am." Marco wished he could automatically know the answer. Star had the scissors, so he couldn't go to Mewni to get her mom's help, he didn't know if the Gems could even get here on time if at all, and they risked Lion getting infected if they tried to go someplace too far.

"Baaaaaaggghh." In this midst of this horrifying turn of events, Marco and Lars could only stare in bafflement as a goat man with large bat wings pointed to the top of a hill. "Baaaaah."

"…Is he with you?" Lars asked even with the moss trying to crawl in their direction.

"I want to say no, but I couldn't tell you for sure to be completely honest." He looked at the hill, then at their friends. "Is the cure at the top of the hill?" He asked, hoping it could understand him.

"Baaaaaaggghh." To his relief, the goat man nodded.

"Alright, I'll get Lion to make a portal to the top. When he does, we drag all of them through it, got it?"

"There's eight of them and two of us, how are we going to drag everyone!?" Lars reminded him.

"As fast as possible." He grabbed the one he was only half certain was Star's body before grabbing ahold of the one he assumed was Quartz's. Karate, again, kept him in good shape. "Now don't complain and get moving!"

========================================================================

Leckmet was tasked with carrying the moss to the hill, guiding its ever expansive and desperate nature into a beautiful eternity. Rose trusted him to guard this out of the belief his healing abilities would help him understand plant life … clearly Leckmet received the short end of the stick compared to a dimension hopping lion, an armory that doesn't work, and a mirror that kept Romulus up at night.

The moss mainly kept itself contained to the little body of water it had planted itself in, and didn't seem to have any desire to move away from it, aside from the odd human or two that would wander into it by mistake. Which was why for almost three decades, he just put tape at the entrance while he went about his other duties with the commission.

So what if the moss 'suffered agony' or something like that? He was a busy goat with many duties, as the only sane man in a group of interdimensional guardians. Right now he watched as the two humans carried multiple bodies through a wormhole, even as their own were covered more and more in the expanding moss.

"I'm not seeing a cure up there!" The human with ring ears shouted.

"You said they would be better if we took them up here, right?!" The red hooded boy asked him as Leckmet saw everything from the side. "Well, what now!?"

"Baaaaagggh." He responded. They just had to be patient for another minute or so.

"So this is how I die, covered in slime, unpopular and annoyed, with a sore jaw." The boy with big earlobes groaned. "... Any regrets?"

"Already told them multiple times these past few months, almost out of ones to complain about." The boy grumbled. "I did want to see that one Macki Hand movie when it hit theaters."

"...Same, never stopped liking the series." The earlobes kid sighed. "The one regret I have is never getting the satisfaction of quitting the Big Donut when I finally found something to do with my life."

"You used to make the best pumpkin spice bread." 

"Bakings just … to … girl-" The boys could no longer speak, covered in moss.

Leckmet waited … and waited … and finally it came, the sunlight. And as he watched the vile moss shift, blooming into pink gemmed flowers scattering across the land, he realized … Maybe he shouldn't view this as a chore. It seemed so … beautiful, relaxing.

"I CAN BREATHE!" Out came the quite troublesome Star Butterfly, as she and the rest of the kid's moss covered skin began to clear itself. "Well, I've learned my lesson! Never eat anything green again."

"Agreed." The almost equally troublesome Quartz Butterfly looked into the air, watching the sight with the others as the flowers covered the air of the poorly named town of Beach Creek. "So beautiful…and familiar somehow."

"This is amazing." The human with a blue streak in her hair looked in awe. "Guys, this is amazing. How'd you know this…what that stuff was, would do this?"

"We didn't, the goat man over there just pointed up." The hooded kid pointed over to them, and the goat just waved in response.

"Oh, you guys met Leckmet." Star spoke. "... Ah shoot, Marco might have had a point about the felony thing."

"Baaaaaggggh." He would be informing the commission of this little transaction today, especially in light of the young Quartz Butterfly being around another piece of the Rose Guard's past. The lion, the armory, it was starting to pile up into a picture he wasn't sure to make of.

"Wait, the goat is the police!?" The loop one shouted.

"Wow, congrats Marco." The blue streak girl wrapped an arm around the red hooded individual. "Never thought you had the law breaking spirit in you."

"Breaking the law and seeing a perfect blossom of mossy flowers …" A dazed looking human pulled out a keytar. "Sour, this is the moment to rave."

"Already on it." The human with a narrow shaped head started waving flags around while the dazed human played his instrument. The prime examples of high spirited, troubling youth.