Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Summary: Time for something nobody expected ...

Oskar considered his next move very carefully. The decision could make or break his music career … kitty noises or puppy noises. Which should he add to his animal master jam? The kitty noises were soft and melded in, but the puppy ones added a loud and booming base. Should he upped the ante and go for wolf howls and lion roars, or would that be too intense?

He has seen a pink lion around here, maybe it was a sign of the cosmos. That or the guy pulling up from the underworld in … "Dude, you're in a handicap zone." He wasn't gonna let some jerk take the opportunity from a sweet old lady.

"... My horses don't have flesh?" The demon explained in a weird tone.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see that." Wearing sunglasses all the time did make things harder to see.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know what classroom Star Butterfly is in?" Oh, he wanted to see that foriegn girl everyone talked about? She seemed like a cool person to talk to, but his craft came before anything else.

"Just keep heading straight down, it's the door at the very end." They actually shared a lot of the same classes, but he skipped most of them.

"Thank you." The demon nodded with a smile.

"Actually I'm right here." Maybe he ate one too many expired donuts. "Tom, what the hell are you doing out of hell and on earth?"

"Oh Starship, it's your lucky day!" The demon summoned a red fire in the shape of a crescent. "I'm taking you to the one and only Blood Moon Ball, an event that occurs every 667 years!"

"No, no, no, no! Not happening, not now, not ever!" The girl started to push the demon away. "We broke up, Tom! Stop waiting for me to call you, and stop assuming I'll answer one of your texts!"

"Look Star, I know I had some … issues."

"You set my brother's room on fire when he asked me what time it was!"

"But I've changed, I don't like my anger problem so I've met up with a therapist." A chubby man walked out of the carriage to poke his head out and wave. "His name is Brian, and he's helped me stay anger free for 53 days!"

"I don't like therapy … but that is a lot of time." She admitted. "... We do this as friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend."

"For the moment…"

"Tom!"

"Kidding, kidding, totally kidding." The demon laughed a bit nervously. "Hey, so your brother is still on the whole 'talking things out' idea, right?" The girl nodded with a hint of anger. "Well, when you see him again…tell him I'm sorry."

"Re-really?" That seemed to make the girl more confused than anything. "Alright…I will."

"Great! Be ready by 6:06! Ring this bell, and the ride will come." The demon handed the girl a black bell with a tiny hammer. "See you then, Starshine!"

"Yeah, see yah." The girl said with a notable lack of energy. "That was weird, right? That wasn't just me?" She turned to him.

He shrugged, not really having a stake in the conversation, and turned back to his one and only passion of music. After all, if Mr. Universe could make it big while living in a van, then he could do the same living in his own car.

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"Hello there miss Kelly-"

"Out of my way!" She shoved as guard out of a window as she walked down the hall, her mood sour as she kicked open Quartz's door. "The nerve of some people!" She looked at Quartz, who was on a mirror call with Marco. "So inconsiderate!"

"... So did you sleep-magic again and blow something up?" Marco said from his side of the mirror.

"No, my bubbles work when I'm asleep, remember?" Quartz turned to her. "Hey Kelly, i'd love to talk, but can it wait after? Tom is trying to get back with Star and-"

"See, she's willing to give him a chance, why don't you listen to me!?" Tad shouted at her.

"Oh shut it Tad, you barely talk to Star, you don't even know what's going on half the time!" She pounded the jerk back into her hair. "Now do what you do best and stay out of the way!"

"Look Quartz, we have till tonight, maybe we should address this." The boy put on square glasses that made him look like a dork. "What's the problem?"

"Me and Tad broke up because he was being a jerk to my family!" She shouted aloud, kicking the wall hard enough to make a hole.

"Wait, you broke up but Tad's still in your hair?"

"Well yeah, we fight all the time. I'm not moving a couch and refrigerator just because of an argument." Kelly shrugged. "Besides, my hair has plenty of space, the loser can get lost inside of there for days at a time."

"Wait, that's it!" Marco shouted, ditching the glasses. "I can sneak in through your hair, and then make sure nothing happens with Star and Tom at the Blood Moon Ball?" Wait, what!?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Marco, hold your corn for a second, there's a lot to unpack with that!" Quartz held his hands in a paused motion. "First off, sneaking into the underworld uninvited on a night like this has serious consequences! If you're caught, then Tom will have a free pass to skin you alive over boiling lava."

"I've been risking my life for three months already just being Star's friend, this isn't that big of a deal."

"Also what makes you think I can get in to do … whatever this is?" She asked. "The Blood Moon Ball is one of the most intimate and romantic events of the century, even among the high ups it's almost impossible to get in and embrace your masked love within the red light as your souls bond for eternity …"

"Well…I did get an invite…" Quartz sheepishly pulled out his own blood stained invitation. Looked pretty fancy too.

"Really?" Tad popped out. "Who invited you? A demonic crush?"

"No…Tom did." That got a few raised eyebrows. "That leads into the second issue. I don't like Tom and Star being together, but if he's going as far as this, then he's made SOME progress curbing that anger. Barging it might regress him."

"Well it doesn't matter if Tom changed or not." Kelly spoke, walking up and grabbing Quartz's shoulder. "Because you are going to be my date to the Blood Moon Ball." She smirked.

"He's what?" Marco asked with surprise.

"I'm what?" Quartz asked with a cute blush and some sweat.

"HE'S WHAT!?" Tad screamed with rage.

She ignored the pint sized nuisance and addressed the other two. "I can use a change of scenery, and Tad never does anything like this unless it's me dragging his butt to a club." She scooted closer to the boy. "In fact, it'd be my first ballroom dance ever."

"Hey, I go with you for Goblin Dogs even though I'm a Vegan, and you don't hear me complaining!" No, he just gave a half hour lecture afterwards about why he is vegan.

"Um, I mean, is that, I don't…." The boy stammered, his entire face a shade of pink.

"Come on, Tiger Millionaire, it'll be fun." She elbowed him a little. "Who knows, you may even like it." Quartz was a really nice guy, he'd totally be a great break-up buddy.

"....I won't say yes or no until we cover the last point: Star will be angry if she finds out we're watching her."

"Oh she won't be mad at you if you go with Kelly." They both stared at Marco with confusion. " I don't know much about being an older sibling, but Star would love to see you on your first date."

"It's not going to be a…" Quartz shook his head. "Look, this is.."

"Come on Quartz, this whole Blood Moon Ball thing makes my skin crawl when I hear it. If we don't do something about it, Star might end up in a worse situation with Tom than she already is."

"...Fine, I'll do it." Quartz turned to her and gently grabbed her hand. "Kelly, would you do me the honor of being my…date…for the Bloodmoon Ball."

"Oooh, Sir Quartz, how gentlemanly of you." She snickered, even when Tad was huffing in jealousy. "I humbly accept."

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"How did you get cable and wifi in here?" Marco had to ask, looking at the almost endless expanse of cave. "I get the infinite space thing and the bike powered generator, but you'd still need to get the signal from somewhere."

"It's Multiversal, we get every channel there is." Tad spoke. "I hook it up to Kelly's cell for us to watch together … when she's not on dates with other guys!" He yelled out to the duo on the outside. "Whenever this happens, it's best to just give each other some space."

"You're giving her space by not leaving her hair." Marco just rubbed his forehead as he adjusted the mask and straightened out his tie on his tux. "Exactly how often do you two break up?"

"Often enough for me to mark the breaks on a calendar." Tad pulled one out to prove his point. "Okay, so we're in the autumn season right now, which means this break up will last around two weeks at most."

"This doesn't seem like a healthy relationship at all." Marco deadpanned.

"If it wasn't healthy we would have ended it. We love each other." Okay, he would never question Star and Quartz's sibling relationship again if THESE two were in this endless cycle of drama.

"Whatever, I'm going to take a peek outside." He already had his sights on ending one horrible relationship, no need to split his focus with two at a time. After waiting for a second to see if they had finally made it down, Marco stuck his head out. "Are we there yet?"

"Yes, we are. Just wait until we mix into the crowd, then you can get out." Marco nodded, slinking back in as he overheard the conversations of the crowd.

"Is that Quartz Butterfly?"

"I thought he was asexual."

"Who's that filthy peasant he's next to?"

"Why is he so short? He doesn't look older than ten."

"Ugh, high society stereotypes." He could practically hear Kelly's eye roll at all the talking. "You'd think living in hell would make them lighten up a little."

"Yeah, it does seem a bit different than usual." Quartz commented. "The punch isn't in a boiling cauldron, and the trash isn't threatening to destroy the universe."

"I guess a realm designed for torture tortures you in every way possible." She grumbled. "So, you see a place I can ditch the weight in my hair?"

"Hold on … let's see. Bathroom, empty hallway, Star and Tom, table to duck unde-"

"And that's my cue!" Marco dived out of the hair and under the table. "Perfect, undetectable. You deal with Star, I'll blend into the crowd."

"Wait, don't..!"

"Quartz." He could hear Star's voice with a bit of malice. "What did I say about giving … Tom a …" She stopped talking before letting out a chuckle. "Nevermind … who am I to ruin your date?"

"Wait, you're actually dating a girl?" Tom looked confused. "I didn't think you knew what romance was at all to be honest."

"I know what it is, I just…never mind. No one's been listening to me all day." Quartz rolled his eyes.

"Kelly wanted a change in scenery." Tad spoke up from inside of the hair.

"... Hey Star, as someone who has been taking introspective therapy … I wasn't thatclingy as an Ex boyfriend, was I?"

"Hahaha, I forgot for a second you had a sense of humor." Star laughed out loud.

"Oh, and Tom." Quartz spoke up. "I know a lot of people aren't willing to trust, but I am. I'm glad you're trying to be a better person, even if it's through something as evil as therapy." Oh come on, it wasn't that bad!

"What the heck did I miss while you were on earth?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow, before the audience's attention was turned to the host of the event.

"Good evening, hellions and gentle demons." The demon spoke through a mic, pointing up at the crystal crescent moon shape that was in the center of the ceiling. "When the red ruby light of the blood moon shines down, two lucky souls will be chosen to be united together, forever, in a dance that'll intertwine their fates in harmony."

Of course, that was Tom's plan! Use the legend of the Blood Moon's light to make Star his eternal girlfriend. Whether or not it was true was one thing, but the bastard was just trying to inch himself back into Star's good graces. He got up from under the table and kept himself hidden as the organ music played.

"Ugh, this isn't the song I requested!" Tom fumed. "Hold on Star, I won't be able to focus on anything else until I fix this." Perfect, Marco would just swoop in and take Star out of hell before he came back.

"Well at least it wasn't some slow dance melody." Kelly spoke.

"Yeah, I can never dance to stuff like that." Star agreed. "So, you and Quartz gonna go dance in the moonlight?"

"'And have our souls united together, Hah." Kelly snorted. "Well I did come here for a dance."

"Oh, um, I can't dance." Quartz admitted. "It was the one mom activity Star actually beat me in." 

"You got music, I got dance, it's how we roll." Marco could see the girl give a small twirl and rolled his eyes behind the mask.

"Don't worry about anything Quartz. I'm used to taking the lead." Kelly put themselves in the right position. "Just follow my movements and you'll be fine."

"Like this?" Quartz stepped forward as Kelly stepped back. It was a little wonky at first, but the two seemed to get into sync pretty easily. He could see why Star always secretly shipped them when they weren't looking.

"Alright, I got us a song." Tom came back, holding out his hand. "Shall we dance, milady?"

"Wait one sec, Tom, gonna get some punch." Star walked towards the table, now was the time!

"Star, I'm here!" He quietly whispered, grabbing her attention.

"What the…Marco!? What are you doing…are you spying on me!?" Star shouted her whisper back. 

"Not important, I'm just making sure Tom isn't doing something shady."

"Why can't you trust Tom, and more importantly, me to handle myself." She accused him. "Wait, did Quartz help you?!"

"Look, the details are minor, especially when Tom's clearly trying to manipulate you.."

"So what? If he's doing something bad, I'll just punch him in the face like when we broke up." Star turned around. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to watch my brother be on his first…where the heck is he?" 

Marco couldn't answer when there was a sudden flash of pinkish white light flashing before them. Before anyone could react to it though, the moonlight hit both himself and Star.

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Where did Kelly go? Where did Quartz go? Why am I alone? What am I wearing? It looks like her … my … our dress? I'm not Quartz, I'm not Kelly. I'm me, but we? We're them, I think? How does that work? Did Quartz's (my) shapeshifting mess up?

"Who … what?" What was this? Why was their mind so strange? They had memories of things they shared but things they didn't know ceased to be. They felt mature and childish. What am I? "Who am I?"

"You're a freak!" What? They turned to see one of the demons looking at them … disgusted? "What the hell even are you?!"

Freak? Freak. I'm not a freak, right? Stop calling her a freak! I can't breathe, what's happening, I don't know how anyone can live like this!

Don't freak out, don't pay attention to what they say. Just like my sister/ our friend,always says

"Are they a man or a woman?"

"Mewman or Woolet?"

"They're probably just monsters in disguise."

We can't breathe, this is wrong and horrible and people are staring at us. I'm sorry I'm so so sorry.

"Kelly, what's the commotion?" Tad. They Loved Disliked him. They NeededResented him. They couldn't stop thinking about him. "What the…who the hell are you?!"

Get out get out get out of my head! This is our head isn't it? You lazy unhelpful piece of cat vomit! But he needs to stay because he cares about me, right?

"I'm …" Quartz "I'm …" Kelly "I'm …" Kurtz? "I'm … A monster." With a flash of light the nightmare was over.

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Star watched as… the fairly attractive figure flashed out of existence, leaving her brother who looked seconds away from a panic attack as he scrambled away from the dumbfounded Kelly, who simply stood in shock.

"Quartz!" Star made her way to her brother, ignoring the fact the moonlight was no longer shining on her or Marco, or the fact the music stopped and all the demons were staring or pointing at the two-in-one figures.

"I messed up, I messed up so bad." He got out through the small pants. "I was inside of her, I was a freak, I was a parasite ." He looked like seconds from passing out. "I hurt her, I need to get away, I need to be alone."

"Calm down, calm down, it's over now, it's all over now." She kept patting his back, even when the room got noticeably hotter and fire started spreading.

"It only comes every 667 years…and you didn't even dance in it!?" Tom roared in rage, all that previously held off anger being directed at Marco, who she blamed a majority of tonight's problems on. Be that as it may, she couldn't let Tom burn her best friend, even if she really wanted to at the moment.

She froze her ex solid without even glancing, helping her brother to the door as everyone stared in silence. She gave a glance at Marco that clearly said 'we will talk about this later', as she helped Quartz through the exit. "There's nobody here, it's just you and me."

"But what if I hurt you too?"

"Pffft, like you could ever hurt me. I'm made out of stronger stuff, you know." She joked in hopes of bringing some form of levity to the situation. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We can just forget this night ever happened."

"But I can't forget about it! What I just did, what I did to Kelly!" Quartz shouted.

"..." She let him be quiet for a moment. "... What … DID you do?" She asked. "There was a flash of light, a panicking person, and then you two."

"We were just having fun dancing, I swear!" Quartz's breathing got heavier. "We were laughing about how bad I was at it, I said she was a good teacher, she said I looked cute, I said she looked pretty, we started blushing as she twirled me, and the next thing I knew, I…sank…into her." Quartz looked frozen at how he worded it. "Her voice was in my head, mine was in hers, some voice was us, and so many feelings of nervousness, anger, and worry started piling more and more and everyone looked at us like a circus act and…" He looked at his reflection in a small puddle. "We thought we were a monster."

"Hey, you're not a monster." Star reassured him. "You see monsters almost everyday, you're nothing like them."

"Really? Star, I turned into a monster twice already, and thanks to me, Kelly has that thought stuck in her head now."

"But monsters are evil."

"Didn't we just have this discussion with Lobster Claws?"

"Okay…let me rephrase." Patience was the key here. The last thing her brother needed was a hard time. "They, for whatever reasons that they do what they do, don't say sorry. When they're trying to steal from me or beat me up, they don't feel bad about it. And you do Quartz. You feel bad everytime you remember that snakes don't have hands."

"It should be natural for everyone." Quartz let out a few tears, but gave a light laugh following it. "Be honest Star, when you saw me…her…them, did…they look like a freak?"

"Ah…" Star's face went red. "You…they…weren't ugly…in fact they were really…handsome…pretty…..I can't really describe what I'd call them…but it wasn't ugly in the slightest, I swear."

"Star, please don't call any version of me handsome." He snapped back into it. "It's creepier than that fusion thing."

"Oh, would you rather I call you cute? Because that's what you are." She poked him in his ticklish spots. "My little cutie-pie brother, Quartz Butterfly."

"Okay, stop, stop it, stop it please, you made your point!" He shooed away her hands. "Sorry about your date with Tom. He looked like he was trying."

"It was never a date, or at least never meant to be one. If one dance was all it took to get him to snap back into anger, then he probably wasn't trying hard enough."

"True." The boy sighed. "Love sucks, doesn't it."

"Absolutely." Star giggled. "Forget love."

"Well, you're not going to be able to." She raised an eyebrow. "You and Marco were under the red moon, right?"

"Oh don't buy into that old wives tale. Like a little bit of night light is going to make me think of Marco's cute face all the time now."

"… Did you just say cute face?"

"Since this night was a bust, why don't I give you one of my secret cookie cats?"

"I'm down with that , but I reserve the right to tease you about this at a future point in time." Which she hoped was too late to matter.