Before Prying Away the Small O

On this day, Yun Wan returned to her home.

Bring the frame too.

Before leaving, he sent a message to Yu Xi, thanking her for giving him the key.

Yu Xi spoke quickly, [I thought my words were annoying]

Yun Wan didn’t say how nice her words sounded, but at first glance it was a false statement.

After a while, Yun Wan replied, [But it’s the truth]

[Truth, most of them are not very good, I know]

Yu Xi laughed when she saw it.

Yu Xi: [You are very interesting]

Yun Wan’s two sentences didn’t make up for her, but she was surprisingly transparent.

Yun Wan returned with a serious smile, not the yin and yang that came with the system.

Yu Xi typed with a smile, [I still think that You Chenxing will be fine, don’t be too pessimistic]

Feeling that what I want to say next is a bit overstepped, but I really like the answer Yun Wan just gave her, Yu Xi still follows her heart and goes further.

[Sometimes, no news is good news]

When Yun Wan saw it, she knew that although Yu Xi was a member of the Procuratorate’s Office, there must be channels to understand the internal situation of the National Security Bureau.

That’s right, Ji Zhou used to be the deputy director of the third place, and Yu Xi was Ji Zhou’s fiancee, so it’s not surprising that he knew a few people from the third place.

Yun Wan’s answer once again surprised Yu Xi.

At least, Yun Wan’s answer was very different from the feeling of her own temperament to Yu Xi.

Yun Wan is a delicate and beautiful Shangjing rose, raised in a greenhouse without any wind and rain.

【Thank you, I’m fine】

[I wouldn’t think something happened to her before I saw her body]

These two sentences…

Yu Xi was stunned.

Jal laughed again.

These two words made Yu Xi feel that Yun Wan has a very strong ego inside, which is completely opposite to her appearance of being indestructible.

【It’s best if you can think like this, good night~】

Yun Wan: [Good night]

Before going to bed, Yun Wan put the mask photo frame on her bedside table.

This night was not a stable one, but at least there was no more insomnia, Yun Wan got enough rest.

When I was taking a shower the next day, I had a few seconds in my head, wondering if I should ask Shen Li about the mask.

This thought only existed for a few seconds, and was quickly denied by Yun Wan.

She didn’t want to see Shen Li again.

She and Shen Li, she and You Chenxing, each of which is different, she respects the relationship between the two, and she does not want any possibility of intertwining between them.

Besides, Shen Li is about to leave Shangjing, right?

I just don’t know whether she will leave early or postpone after the earthquake…

However, advance and delay are no longer related to Yun Wan.

When Auntie came, Yun Wan was in the living room with a glass of milk, the TV was on, the news was on, and the sound was loud, Yun Wan sat on the sofa and watched it.

“Is there any new situation in the disaster area?” Auntie asked.

“right.”

“It’s miserable, it’s almost New Year’s Eve, and encountering such a thing, hey, it’s really…”

Regarding her aunt’s emotion, Yun Wan only pursed her lips and smiled bitterly, but did not speak.

For the next two days, Yun Wan lived in her own home. The news of the earthquake area was refreshed every day, and the broadcast was uninterrupted from morning to night. The shooting pictures of the disaster went deeper and deeper into the epicenter…

The news broadcasts are getting more and more tragic.

Seeing these pictures, Yun Wan was relatively restrained.

Every time the aunt she looked for watched the news with her, her eyes turned red and she cried unconsciously.

Feeling miserable while saying things like it’s too bad, too bad…

Yun Wan… She just silently handed a tissue to her aunt, and then continued to read the report, without missing the latest news from the disaster area.

On the second day of the earthquake, the collapsed signal tower began to be repaired. As reported in the news, under normal conditions, the degree of damage to the signal tower generally requires a maintenance cycle of four to five days, provided that the manpower is sufficient. …

At present, there is a serious shortage of manpower, and the personnel who can be mobilized are basically devoted to the search and rescue work. The maintenance of the signal tower, under the current limited conditions, the official time period has reached three times as long as usual.

Yun Wan couldn’t wait that long.

However, according to the rescue efficiency of Huaguo, the real time will not be so long.

On the third day after the earthquake, Yun Wan received a call from Zhu Sui, who had little to do with the National Security Bureau, and mainly told her about the latest news about the opening of public rescue.

“The paratroopers entered the epicenter, and the picture was sent back, and two roads were cleared out. The situation…was very bad. In the afternoon, my old man had a meeting, and the leaders of the third and fifth districts also came to Beijing, and they went to Beijing immediately. A wave of emergency supplies will be released to the earthquake area to open up the people’s spontaneous rescue, which is tentatively scheduled in two days.”

Yun Wan was surprised, “So fast?”

Zhu Sui’s voice was also covered with a gloomy voice, “There are really not enough people.”

The world has experienced a continuous decline in the fertility rate for hundreds of years, and the total population is now only how much. China is a big country, and relatively speaking, it is already a country with a large number of people, but this relatively large number is still not enough to completely cover the disaster area. required rescue manpower.

There is really no way.

“And more than just encouraging spontaneous rescues.”

“State organs and units, the military will require systematic dispatch of support manpower, and each unit has rigid indicators.”

Yun Wan was stunned, realized something, nodded, and thanked him.

Takesui: “It’s nothing, it’s just…”

The words got stuck on the lips, but she didn’t say it. In the end, the female alpha only spoke.

“Anyway, don’t worry too much. With so many people in the epicenter, Team You can be said to be the group with the strongest self-help ability. They… have a relatively small chance of an accident.”

Of course, it’s only relative.

“I know.”

Zhu Sui felt that Yun Wan was calmer than the previous two days. She was a little confused as to where this calm came from, but no matter what, this state was always much better than panic and fear.

Zhu Sui finally said, “I was brought up by Team You. Miss Yun, you can come to me if you need anything recently.”

“Wherever I can help, I will do my best.”

Yun Wan smiled, “Thank you.” Thank you again.

Takesui’s news is accurate. Before the opening of the public rescue, various agencies and units in Shangjing were notified and requested to dispatch a rescue team to go deep into the vicinity of the epicenter to provide human support.

Yun Wan saw that everyone was discussing in the work group, and asked a question, the Military Disciplinary Committee posted the notice directly to her, the red-headed document, and the matter was settled.

On the fourth day after the earthquake, Yun Wan went back to Father Yun’s house after getting the news from the work group.

She drove to the outside of the community and parked. When she entered the community, she stood at the gate of the community for a long time, not knowing what she was looking at. Seeing the uncle of the security guard passing by, she asked her a few questions with care, and only after she got a reply that she was fine, Yun Wan entered. community.

This day Yun Wan was very normal. Father Yun was afraid that she would be sad at first, but ended up having dinner in silence. When father and daughter watched the earthquake news together, Father Yun glanced at Yun Wan from time to time out of the corner of his eye, and found that she was in a good state of mind. He didn’t come out, but on the face, he was quite calm, and he didn’t seem to be panicking.

Father Yun felt a little at ease.

He felt good, Yun Wan was indeed very calm, but the source of this calm was different from what he could think of.

After the news broadcast, Yun’s father Baba made a good cup of tea. Yun Wan usually drank his tea secretly, but today he didn’t seem to pay attention to what kind of tea he took.

Hey, it’s still impossible to be completely unaffected, Father Yun thought so.

After chatting a few words about the situation in the disaster area, Yun Wan glanced at the clock and felt that the time was about the same. He lowered his head and drank tea and changed the subject.

“When I came today, I stood at the door for a long time.”

The tea was fragrant, and Father Yun lifted the lid of the purple clay pot and filled it with water, and said casually, “Huh? What did you see?”

“No, I didn’t see anyone, it’s business as usual.”

Father Yun smiled and was about to speak when Yun Wan said without stopping, “I just thought of a long time ago.”

“When I was very young, our family was separated at the gate of this community. I carried my school bag, or got into your car, or my mother, and started the day.”

The pot in Father Yun’s hand was tilted, and the water was poured out of the mouth of the pot, splashing a few points on his hand. Except for the sudden panic in his heart, he couldn’t feel anything for the first time.

Yun Wan didn’t look up, just stared at his cup, and didn’t see anything strange, he paused, his voice became very soft, and he said with great care.

“Actually, I’ve always missed my old life.”

“It’s just that when I have it, I don’t know what that means.”

When she had it, for Yun Wan, it was just a normal day in her happy life.

If she grows up well, if there is no such thing later, she may not remember those trivial things.

Not to mention the feeling of nostalgia.

“You never told me that.”

The room was silent for a long time, Father Yun put down the kettle in his hand and replied with a bewildered expression.

There was only a faint smile on Yun Wan’s face, and he nodded, “Yes, I didn’t say it.”

“But after coming back, you never talked to me about mom again.”

Father Yun’s voice was deep, as if he was thinking seriously, “Really?”

Yun Wan answered affirmatively, “Yes.”

Father Yun was silent.

Yun Wan was not someone who could hide her thoughts in the past, and when it came to this, she rarely said any more, and quietly bowed her head to refill her tea.

Father Yun looked at his own girl who had grown into an adult in front of him. His eyes seemed to pass through time. Through the face of an adult, he thought of what Yun Wan looked like when he was a child, and he couldn’t help but hoarse, “Are you blaming me?”

Asked Yun Wan’s hand to drink tea stagnates.

For a moment, she shook her head slightly.

“I know that you have been in pain for so many years.”

“I just… wanted to talk about my feelings today.”

“We don’t seem to have ever talked.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t talk to me about this, when I was a kid…”

Recalling the scene after returning from the base, Yun Wan let out a sigh of relief, and said very impatiently, “At least when I was a child, it was because of fear that I never mentioned it.”

But when she was older, she slowly became sensible, the three views were just formed, and some things were half-understood, and it was even harder to mention them.

Every time Yun Wan thought about family affairs in her youth, she always felt that she was standing on the boundary between right and wrong. One side of the line was her father, and the other was her grandfather’s family, as if she admitted that one was right and the other was doomed. it’s wrong.

But Yun Wan didn’t feel that both parties were right, nor did they feel that they were wrong.

In this way, her heart was entangled and unable to understand.

So avoid.

The more I avoided it, the more I got used to burying it. Like an adult, I gave up on the past and didn’t mention it again.

She thought that for her mother’s affairs, she would describe it as “forget it” rather than “forgive” or “let go”, which is more appropriate.

It’s too complicated, too entangled, and too uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to think about it anymore. Instead of suffering every day, it’s better to let herself go.

never mind.

But deep down, Yun Wan knew that her attitude was never right.

Problems need to be solved, not avoided.

Avoid, don’t watch, don’t listen, don’t think, the problem won’t go away, it’s still there.

“What are you afraid of?” Father Yun’s voice became hoarse, and it was obvious that he was not feeling well when he talked about this topic.

“a lot of.”

Yun Wan calmly said, “In life, without my mother, everything seems to be the same, but it seems that everything has changed.”

“I don’t know how to face these changes. I often feel helpless when I think about her.”

“The quarrel between you and my grandparents also made me feel very unfamiliar. In the past, your relationship was obviously very good.”

Father Yun lowered his eyes and cast a gloomy shadow: “That’s because your mother is there.”

“Yes, I found out later, but at the time, I didn’t know, I just…” Yun Wan wanted to squeeze out a smile, but couldn’t, “I just didn’t want to make the situation more chaotic, I hope to come back Everyone is fine, since my mother can’t come back, I hope that the rest of my life, to the greatest extent, can be the same as before.”

“Of course I know now, this idea was very naive from the very beginning, and it was unrealizable.”

“But at the time, I did think so.”

“Although you haven’t told me about my mother, I can often feel that you are in pain, and my aunt told me to try not to ask me about it in front of you, to ask me not to ask more, and to say that you are also very uncomfortable…”

“I’ve lost my mother, so I hope you’ll be fine.”

The words are simple, but they contain the power to destroy the dead.

Yun Wan saw that her father’s eyes were rarely red.

But it wasn’t her intention to make her father feel uncomfortable, she just… just felt that the time had come, and there were some deep-seated words that could be said…

She wanted to say it too.

“Later, I became very eager for family, and then I met Shen Li.”

“Shen Li, meets all my expectations, even she is not the best group of people, too.”

“I think such a person can make me more stable. Unlike you, in the future, I will not face some very human choices because of being too good.”

“What I want is actually very simple.”

“But now it seems that sometimes, the more one is attached to something, the more difficult it seems to get something.”

Shen Li didn’t face the same difficult choices as her father, but she betrayed her.

“My requirements for her have always been very low, but I didn’t expect that she didn’t even do such basic things.”

With his eyes out of focus for a moment, Yun Wan sighed again, “However, maybe I was wrong from the beginning.”

Father Yun frowned, “What did you do wrong!”

For this matter to tell him, the responsibility rests entirely with Shen Li, and has nothing to do with Yun Wan.

Yun Wan’s answer made him speechless.

Yun Wan said, “I shouldn’t pin the meaning and expectations of my life on people and things other than myself.”

“I didn’t feel it before, but after this incident, I often feel small and helpless.”

Family used to be Yun Wan’s entire world.

And one day, the world she carefully maintained collapsed not because of her, but because of another person.

The moment Yun Wan knew it, she felt like she was completely smashed from top to bottom.

like……

The past once, from that moment on, has all lost its meaning.

All the sacrifices have become ridiculous.

She became a joke.

Father Yun suffocated.

Without it, just because Yun Wan’s words were right.

Yun Wan: “I’ve thought about this marriage for a long time, and I always had a lot of emotions at the beginning. After a long time, I slowly stopped blaming myself and walked out slowly.”

“Looking back, I think it was because of my mother’s influence on me.”

“I’m probably… too eager to go back in time.”

However, a broken life cannot be repaired.

Yun Wan will never go back.

The room was silent, and after a pause, Yun Wan pulled the corners of his lips mockingly, “So I think, I must find a chance to talk to you about the past. Today, even if it happens to be just right.”

The failure of his marriage with Shen Li made Yun Wan realize that some things belong to the grief of the original family, which cannot be escaped.

They are ingrained in her bones and cannot be avoided.

Even if she doesn’t think about it, she doesn’t see it, they will still exist and be deeply rooted in her desires, in her words and deeds.

Today, in disguise, it can be considered to find the time, let’s talk about it.

Father Yun lowered his head and said gloomily, “So, you want to tell me this today?”

Unexpectedly, Yun Wan shook her head again.

“no.”

These two words actually made Father Yun hesitate for a moment.

For the first time, he felt that Yun Wan, who was always outgoing, made him feel difficult to understand.

Yun Wan: “I came here to tell you that I am going to the epicenter.”

Father Yun raised his head sharply.

Yun Wan was calm and affirmed, “Well, I want to find You Chenxing.”

“but……”

Subconsciously, Father Yun wanted to refute, but Yun Wan didn’t give him a chance, so he took care of himself.

“It’s not safe to go alone, I know.”

“Originally, I wanted to go with the unit, but today I talked to Miss Zhu Er about the plan. She said that You Chenxing’s deputy also planned to go by herself, and finally negotiated and asked me to accompany the other party, and she helped us arrange the itinerary.”

“The other party is an A-level alpha, and I am familiar with him.”

“There should be no unit more diligently trained than their National Security Bureau for survival skills in the wild.”

“Follow the way of Miss Zhu Er, and tomorrow will follow a group of military aircraft dispatched by the military department of the first district, fly to the periphery of the earthquake area, and then change the car to enter the epicenter.”

Every plan is in order.

Arranged well… Father Yun couldn’t pick the wrong one.

The situation of the National Security Bureau, Father Yun probably understands that with Zhou Ding or with the unit, it is true that it is not safe to come with their people, and it is good to come.

but……

but…………

Father Yun looked at Yun Wan deeply, his eyes flickered, and he reminded with difficulty, “In case the final result is not you…”

The words are euphemistic, and the words are used carefully, for fear of stabbing Yun Wan.

But Yun Wan took it straight and replied, “I didn’t expect the result.”

“I didn’t expect it, any possibility.”

“I just…if she’s alright, I want to see her for the first time, and if… unfortunately, I want to be the first person to see her body.”

Father Yun was speechless for a long time.

After a while, Father Yun asked, “Why?”

With only three words, Yun Wan knew what he was asking.

why?

Yun Wan thought about it for a moment, then smiled, the smile was shallow, and there was a strange relief in the bitterness.

“Maybe, I want to do what I can do.”

“That way, no matter what the final result is, I won’t blame myself anymore.”

“When my mother went to the base, I always wanted to meet you with her, but she kept me.”

“After her accident, you guys have been arguing. I… felt very scared at the first time, and I didn’t ask why…”

“Later, after returning to Beijing, I never asked you about anything related to her. This matter has always been hidden in my heart, but many things, hiding, do not mean disappearing…”

Yun Wan lowered her eyes, her beautiful face was wistful, she frowned, raised her head and continued.

“Dad, in fact, I always felt that I was very weak.”

“I can’t accept the fact that she left, but I can’t question you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, Yun Wan looked at Father Yun, whose eyes were crimson, and stated.

“Every time I think about the past, I ask myself countless times, if I went to see you with her back then, if the first time you quarreled with your grandfather, could I ask one more question…or…”

“Or maybe I went back to Shangjing, I’m not doing nothing, I’ll ask you to ask my grandfather…”

“Will everything be different?”

Could her mother’s result be different?

Could it be that the relationship between her father and her grandfather’s family is not what it is now?

These doubts popped up in Yun Wan’s mind countless times, and he couldn’t press it.

Father Yun didn’t answer Yun Wan, but the way he looked at Yun Wan made Yun Wan feel heartbroken.

The time was stretched, and the quiet blank space made the atmosphere gradually stagnate.

Father Yun finally said, “This is not something you can change as a child.”

Yun Wan nodded, “Well, I figured it out later, I know.”

“But I’m not a kid anymore.”

“I want to go to her, no matter what the outcome is, I don’t want to make myself regret.”

Father Yun closed his eyes and finally understood.

Yun Wan didn’t come to discuss with him today, she just came to inform him.

And his feeling was right, Yun Wan had already made a decision and would not change because of Father Yun’s attitude.

After a long time, Father Yun asked the last question, “Is she so important to you?”

Yun Wan’s eyes were lost for a moment, and she replied softly, “I don’t know.”

How important it is, you have to know it after you lose it. Now Yun Wan can’t answer this question.

She also wishes she never knew the answer to that question.

“However, when we are together, she has always taken the initiative.”

“Her identity, and her relationship with Shen Li, you know, I wouldn’t have thought about it at first…”

“During the period, there were also a lot of misunderstandings…”

“She has always been very accommodating to me.”

“I also face up to the pain that my last marriage brought me and gave me a lot of time.”

“I just think…”

Thinking of You Chenxing’s glamorous face in her mind, Yun Wan held back her tears and raised the corners of her lips.

“I feel that since she has always taken the initiative, she has already taken ninety-nine steps towards me, I…”

“In this relationship, maybe I can too, I can move forward.”

If You Chenxing is bound by the real predicament.

actually,

She can also go to hers.