Became an Observer in Love Company

The cool touch of a metallic can was still vivid in my mind.

I quietly opened the can and took a sip.

But—

“Hmph, I don’t really care about that sort of thing, anyway.”

She calmly snatched the can from my hand.

A playful laugh.

A carefree voice.

And then…

Her lips,

lightly grazed the spot where I had drunk.

“…”

I found myself absently touching my lips as I recalled the scene.

My childish spite, wanting not to give it to her, seemed meaningless in that moment.

She drank my drink without hesitation.

She was so casual about it that I couldn’t help but pretend it didn’t bother me either.

But now, I can’t seem to shake the image from my mind.

It’s strange.

Really, it’s strange.

It’s nothing.

It’s no big deal.

Why does it keep bothering me?

We didn’t even really kiss.

Apparently, it was too much, even for me who had little to no romantic experience before I came here.

I absentmindedly placed my hand over my heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart was beating faster than usual.

I quietly withdrew my hand.

Surely not.

No.

There’s no way.

It can’t be…

I rubbed my ears. They felt as if they were on fire.

“…It’s not like that.”

But then another memory surfaced, as if by chance, of another scene with her.

Yoon Jihoo and Lee Jian.

They walked side by side, talking.

Sometimes laughing, sometimes joking.

Their natural proximity.

I recalled the scene with indifference, but—

My stomach uncomfortably churned.

What is this feeling?

It’s expected.

They’re childhood friends, and even in the original story…

Still.

Why does it keep bothering me?

Why does it irritate me so much?

I suddenly stood up from my seat.

I picked up a book from my desk.

Reading will make it better.

There’ll be no need for these useless thoughts.

Just focus, that’s all.

I quietly turned the page.

The hand turning the page stopped.

I tried not to recall it.

I made a concerted effort to distract myself with other thoughts.

But why—

Does her image keep flashing before my eyes?

The dimly lit practice room.

The air was slightly hot.

Even with magic adjusting the space, prolonged physical exertion eventually causes sweat to seep through.

Lee Jian casually brushed the strands of hair sticking to her forehead while in front of the mirror, moving.

An untidy silhouette like a smeared shadow.

Light naturally flowed from the tips of her fingers but paused halfway.

With a tightly bitten lip, she repeated the same motion from the beginning.

“Hah…”

A quietly exhaled sigh.

But she didn’t stop.

Without even wiping her forehead or adjusting her clothes.

She took a deep breath and continued moving her body.

I looked at her impassively.

No, I was supposed to be indifferent originally.

But as I watched her, I couldn’t tear my eyes away for some reason.

The loose strands of hair sticking to her cheeks.

The careful motion of her hand brushing her sweaty nape.

Her focused expression even as she frowned, then lit up her eyes again.

The mixture of fatigue and passion on her face—strangely—

caught my attention.

After that day, I strangely started to notice her hands more often.

The way she clenched her fists tightly, then loosened them lightly.

The subtle movement, as if the air passing between her fingertips caught her attention.

And maybe,

thinking of the hand that once grazed mine,

I couldn’t help but keep noticing her.

I slowly swept my fingertips across the page.

Weariness washed over me.

And yet, even in that weariness, I definitely knew.

This feeling is probably—

“I like her.”

My lips parted on their own.

I flinched.

What did I just say?

I instinctively glanced down.

Then I found the sentence in the book.

“…There.”

So I just read a line from the book.

Yeah, it was just a coincidence.

I sighed.

What nonsense.

It’s nothing, right?

I just read a book, that’s all.

But my fingertips kept tracing the same sentence again and again.

I like her.

I didn’t want to be shaken anymore.

I didn’t want to be involved anymore.

I didn’t like how much I didn’t know anymore.

I didn’t want to think about how I’d have to go back someday.

I’ll have to return to my original world someday.

I was thrown into this world unexpectedly,

and I don’t know when I’ll return.

There’s no point in holding on to these feelings.

I didn’t want to keep any attachments.

That’s why I had to distance myself.

Just a little more, just a bit more…

But my fingertips were trembling slightly.

Maybe, deep down, I knew.

Even if I try to distance myself,

it’ll keep nagging at me.

*

I was slumped in the dining chair at home.

Lying like laundry draped over the chair, I stared blankly at the ceiling.

“…Do I have arrhythmia?”

My heart was beating strangely.

Even at rest, my chest thumped, thumped.

My face turned red without fail.

The cause of all these symptoms was just one.

Kim Dohyun.

Just thinking of his name made my breath catch in my throat.

I messed up my hair with my hand.

Should I just give up?

No matter how I think about it, this feeling doesn’t make sense.

If Kim Dohyun likes Na Yeol-hyeon,

Isn’t this relationship already over before it even started?

What will change if I hold on to this feeling?

Yeah, giving up would be the right choice.

I came to that conclusion.

And it seemed like my heart felt slightly lighter.

…But why does it still feel so bitter?

“…Seriously, arrhythmia?”

I covered my face with both hands.

At that moment,

The front door clicked open, and a familiar voice reached me.

“Look who’s here.”

“…”

I swiftly turned my head.

It was my older sister.

Her short red hair swayed lightly.

Her sharp eyes, her sarcastic expression.

A tear mark under her left eye accentuated her cold demeanor even more.

Even in casual training attire, her presence was unmistakable because she’s a famous model.

Honestly, she’s the kind of person who catches attention as soon as they walk down the street.

She must have had her share of romances, right?

Yeah, by my memory, she did.

Well, famous models naturally have more relationships and experience more love, don’t they?

But—

Seeing me now, my sister sighed.

“Is this about a crush?”

“…!”

I jerked my body in surprise.

Are people who’ve been in love really different?

But I quickly tried to act calm and shook my head.

“No, it’s not.”

My sister scoffed.

She went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pulled out a beer can.

“Yeah, yeah.”

She placed the can on the table and popped the lid with her finger.

Pssht—

The sound of the can opening echoed in my ears.

A face immediately came to mind.

Kim Dohyun who, in one gulp, drank the barley drink I had in my hand.

His bobbing Adam’s apple.

And my heart syncing with his movements.

I covered my face.

My breath caught in my throat.

“…Aaaah!”

My face involuntarily flushed red.

I slammed my face onto the table and hit it with my fist.

“Hey, I’m the one drinking the alcohol, but why are you the one who’s drunk?”

My sister said, as if perplexed, while taking a sip of beer.

“Hey! You spilled it! Snap out of it!”

I still couldn’t lift my face.

Then suddenly, an idea came to me.

If I say it’s about a friend, it’ll be fine, right?

I cautiously opened my mouth with my face still buried on the table.

The cool temperature of the table was soothing the heat rising in my face.

“Sis, it’s about a friend…”

“…Hmm?”

Sister glanced at me, raising the corner of her lips in a sly grin.

I tried to appear calm while speaking.

“Whenever my friend thinks about someone, her heart beats fast and her face turns red. What’s that called?”

“…”

“What should we call it?”

Sister stared at me silently for a moment and smirked.

Then, she said matter-of-factly:

“Dear, we call that love.”

I froze.

…Love?

Is this… love?

“Really? Are you sure?”

I instinctively questioned.

“Can you prove it?”

In response, my sister sighed and took a sip of beer.

“Why should I prove it? You should.”

“…Me?”

“Yeah, yeah. Like when you keep staring at someone, or feel jealous when you see them with someone else, or just want to be with them all the time.”

“…”

I instinctively avoided her gaze.

Sister took another sip.

“Anyway.”

I slowly spoke.

“What if the person you like already likes someone else?”

“Huh?”

“…Should I give up?”

Sister paused for a moment, raising an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“They like someone else.”

“So what?”

Sister nonchalantly shrugged after taking another sip of beer.

“Just keep pulling them toward you.”

“…What?”

“Just keep making them look at you.”

“…”

“It’s natural to get closer emotionally if you’re physically close.”

Her words sounded too easy, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

“What if… the person truly likes someone else? And there’s no way to intervene? What if trying gets us even further apart?”

“Do they really?”

“…Yeah.”

Sister stared at me intently after taking another sip of beer.

“Then, let me ask you something. Do you really like this person?”

“This isn’t about me, it’s about my friend…”

“Shut up already.”

I was speechless for a moment.

Yet those words landed heavily in my chest.

Like.

I like.

Me.

I took a deep breath but my heart continued to beat fast.

No.

This isn’t just a beat.

This is, truly.

“…Yeah. I guess I do.”

“That settles it.”

I quietly stood up.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“…I’m going to sleep.”

“Are you really drunk?”

Ignoring my sister, I went into my room and lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Her words kept echoing in my ears.

“Keep pulling him toward you.”

Then it hit me.

The reason I switched from stage direction to lighting art.

The reason I wanted to be a lead actress instead of a supporting role.

It wasn’t that I wanted attention from the start.

I was content with controlling the lights behind the stage, orchestrating the performances.

I thought it suited me better.

But somewhere along the way…

I began to notice Kim Dohyun’s gaze.

When he looked at me,

I started to wonder what he saw in his eyes.

It mattered to me.

The day he carried me.

The short distance to the bus stop.

That was the moment everything changed.

I wanted to be on the stage, not behind it.

I wanted to be captured in his camera.

I wanted his eyes on me.

At first, I thought it was just a simple goal.

But now I understand.

From that moment, I wanted to be a lead actress, not a supporting role.

“You said it’s okay to throw tantrums, right?”

I slowly extended my hand and picked up a stuffed toy.

An old, worn-out duck toy I’ve had since I was a child.

I didn’t know what this duck used to mean until now,

but now I recognize it as a character from the barley drink commercials.

Oh no. Now every time I see this toy, someone’s face comes to mind.

And the accompanying heart flutter.

“I won’t let go.”

I quietly hugged the stuffed toy, trying to calm my restless heart.

“I’ll hold on, even if you run away.”

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