Became an Observer in Love Company

At the threshold of early summer, the night was quietly growing damp.

In the late spring night air, a chill still lingered.

A street lamp-lined uphill road stretched ahead.

Yellow lights spilled out one by one, quietly dyeing the road.

The scenery of the street was softer than ever.

Whenever the wind brushed against the branches, the green leaves swayed gently.

And through the gaps, faint light filtered in, creating the illusion that the trees were holding onto the lamplight.

In the calm flow of time, I quietly turned my gaze to the side.

Lee Jian was walking beside me.

Somewhere along the way, we had started walking at the same pace.

At first, she was walking slightly ahead, but gradually slowed down until she matched her steps with mine.

And I naturally adjusted my pace to hers.

Exactly the same.

Not too fast, not too slow.

That way, side by side, at the same rhythm, we were walking.

The road we were walking on was uphill.

A slowly ascending path, where the lamplights behind us stretched our shadows long.

Two shadows stretched side by side, occasionally overlapping, then separating again.

With every step I took, she took one too.

And with every step she took, I matched her.

Strangely, the more we tried not to be conscious of each other, the more synchronized our steps became.

She walked silently.

I quietly matched my steps with hers.

Even without words, it was enough.

Between the lamplight, we walked silently in sync.

“Today felt so long~.”

“That’s right.”

“It’s probably because of the exams. Exams that control students’ time!”

She stretched out her arms and made a grand, silly declaration.

“Don’t you think exams are something that should be abolished?”

“But So-won coupons will remain.”

I teasingly wagged my finger at her.

“I’ll bite it off.”

Lee Jian said with a laugh and pretend to bite my finger.

For a brief moment, her lips touched my finger before pulling away.

Startled, I quickly withdrew my finger.

A small warmth lingered where she had touched, then slowly spread to the tip of my fingers.

It spread like a small ember, gradually…

Surprised, I pulled my hand away, but the warmth remained.

Rather, it slowly continued to spread–from the tips of my fingers, to my palms, and toward my heart, turning into a more intense heat.

The warmth turned into a stronger heat that reached all the way to my face.

The rhythm of our synchronized steps momentarily broke.

She walked ahead, while I stopped.

Lee Jian turned back and smiled at me.

“Where’s the thief who warns and then acts at the same time? Even thieves should give a warning and allow time to prepare.”

“Thieves are supposed to get scolded anyway.”

She giggled and spoke confidently.

Fortunately, she didn’t catch my face turning red.

I struggled to hide my shaky heart and asked teasingly.

“You’ve got spit on you. What are you going to do about it?”

“My saliva is holy water. Treasure it well.”

She proudly declared and puffed out her chest.

“I’ve heard that somewhere before.”

Lee Jian tilted her head in thought. It didn’t seem to ring any bells.

“On the entrance ceremony day.”

“…You remember everything, don’t you?”

“How could I forget that? The two of us were saying strange things there.”

She herself seemed a bit uneasy, whistling to avoid my gaze.

But the whistling was feeble, and she ended up just sticking out her lips.

“What are you doing?”

“Wow! The weather’s good!”

She threw her arms wide and darted off like a child.

She looked embarrassed.

Until a while ago, she had seemed rather gloomy, but it seemed to be getting better now, which was a relief.

A stone pillar on the road. She was staring intently at it.

“Grab me.”

“Why?”

“Help me get up on this.”

“Are you a kid?”

“I’m not an adult yet, right?”

Having no particular comeback, I quietly held out my hand.

The pillar looked quite tall and challenging to climb.

She forcefully pushed down on my head and succeeded in climbing up.

“I’m taller than you now!”

“Ah, good for you.”

She pushed down on my head again.

“What are you doing?”

“Accident.”

Unlike her words, it didn’t feel like an accident at all.

I fixed my glasses, which had slipped down my nose.

“Are you sure it’s okay to be jumping around in a skirt?”

At my casual comment, Lee Jian’s footsteps which had been hopping around confidently, suddenly stopped.

And then thud.

Something landed on my back.

Something soft touched my back.

Her breathing softly descended onto my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“I suddenly got shy.”

‘Isn’t this even more awkward?’

I could have just let her keep walking, but I didn’t want to.

Because it was the only way I knew to console her discomfort.

So, I silently carried her on my back and walked.

A road where streetlights stretched endlessly.

Her shadow overlapping onto mine. For this moment at least, we became the same pace.

Clinging more firmly to her legs, I stepped forward.

Her weight slowly settled on me.

Still, finding the center of gravity comfortably, I moved smoothly.

Her fingers lightly touched and then released my collar.

Her heartbeat was slowly climbing up my back, spreading like the soft glow of the lamplights we passed.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

“It does. You’re heavier than I expected.”

“What?!”

I could feel her hand slowly tightening and then loosening into a fist.

“Hmm, what should I do? I don’t plan on getting down though.”

“Really unacceptable.”

“Instead, I’ll play you a work song.”

“Oh, that tone deaf guy…”

Thwack. I shouldn’t have mentioned that and got hit as a result.

It didn’t really hurt, except for making my heart flutter unexpectedly.

She fumbled around and pulled out wired earphones, placing one in her ear and the other in mine.

“These are wired?”

“Because my earholes are small; I lose wireless ones pretty easily. But you use wired ones too.”

“I just like the feeling of connection. The sensation of being linked by a wire.”

Suddenly, Lee Jian bent her head deep and buried it in my back.

“…That’s really unfair.”

“What?”

“There’s something… You don’t need to know. Well, you should, but it’s fine you don’t know right now.”

“What are you talking about?”

Something felt off about her today.

But of course, given what she had witnessed, it might be understandable.

How much the original character must have been heartbroken.

[Under the streetlights, we walk the same road

You and I, on the same path]

A song begins to play.

[You look ahead

And I follow your shadow

We walk to the same place

But our hearts don’t meet]

“Is this a famous song?”

“Not really famous. It’s a somewhat old song.”

The distinct charm of old songs, a mix of guitar sounds and soft hisses, played.

[If I take one more step closer

Would you notice me?

But I’m still

Following you from behind]

“The song’s nice. Can you tell me the title?”

“Now?”

“Send it in a message later.”

“Alright.”

[On the same road

We walk the same night

But you don’t know

My heart doesn’t want to be by your side

But close to you where I can stop]

The lyrics flowed softly through the earphones into our ears.

“…..”

After that, we walked in silence.

The shaking bus stop light flickered faintly in the distance.

She exhaled quietly.

Warmth was transmitted through my back.

And so, I quietly walked the remaining distance.

Her warmth growing familiar felt somehow strange.

I didn’t know the path of carrying her could feel this light. Or maybe it was heavy.

The silence continued, maintaining the same pace, all the way to the bus stop.

*

“Today felt so long~”

After losing a bet, finding out Kim Dohyun likes Na-yul sunbae, receiving a book gift…

It feels like I keep losing somehow.

Even as we climbed the uphill road and the streetlights stretched long over us.

I kept thinking this scene felt like a stage.

The stage where I stand, along with Kim Dohyun.

The streetlights acted like stage lights, stretching and overlapping our shadows before parting again.

It was slightly uncomfortable. No, awkward.

It’s not a role I’m used to.

I belong not in the spotlight, but in creating it from the shadows.

The moment I receive that spotlight, I don’t know how to handle it.

The light being shed on me, the evening lights tonight.

Somehow they felt burdensome.

“Souvenir coupons won’t disappear.”

Kim Dohyun, casually flicking his finger.

It somehow looked irritating, like he’s completely unaffected while I’m feeling out of sorts.

I made a light bite gesture.

I needed to maintain the distance.

The director exists outside the stage. The stage isn’t my domain.

Maintaining a certain distance…

That’s always what I did. What I believed I had to do.

But.

The moment my lips touched his fingertips,

And he quickly pulled his hand away,

I realized it.

The distance I’ve kept,

The lines I created myself,

Were gradually blurring.

“Mine is holy water. Treasure it well.”

I said, trying to create distance, pretending it was a joke and pretending not to be shaken.

“Entrance Ceremony Day.”

He suddenly brought up the past.

“…You remember everything, don’t you?”

I remembered. The words I had said absentmindedly. Our first meeting.

He kept trying to erase my lines.

I turned my head to look at him.

He still walked a step behind me,

Quietly following my pace.

Looking completely unaffected.

I,

Felt both good that he was following but also disliked feeling that it wasn’t enough.

He already liked someone else, and therefore, I told myself I shouldn’t like him.

I didn’t want to interfere or be resented.

To me, not being disliked was more important than being liked.

‘Love…’

The mere thought made me cringe.

Trying to joke around, but it wasn’t going well today.

“Wow! The weather’s nice!”

More playful tones than before.

Even more pretending like nothing was wrong.

That’s how I put distance between us.

The shadow growing farther.

But when the streetlights followed and overlapped our shadows again, they separated once more.

Two shadows stretched long. When they overlapped, they separated again, touching yet not truly reaching each other – like us now.

I jumped around on top of the stone post.

Flaring skirts. Shadows following the moves.

“Are you okay in that skirt?”

His casual comment.

My face heated up. But he, the one who made the comment, looked completely unfazed, showing no sign of disturbance.

‘Does he not see me as a girl?’

My legs went limp, like I couldn’t walk any further.

So, I ended up being carried by him.

“I just like the feeling of being connected. The sensation of the wire linking us.”

The cold sensation of the earphones touching my ears, followed by his words.

“…Cheating.”

The soda he had offered today, the carbonation seemed to still linger.

Popping up like bubbles, the leftover taste of that day slowly spreading.

I felt like I knew the name of this feeling but had no wish to actually know it. I wanted to merely bury and ignore it.

Because only then could this distance, though slightly frustrating, remain not too bad.

If I crossed the line, our rhythm would be disrupted and our stage would fade like a mirage.

So I quietly leaned into him, keeping my mouth shut.

‘If, I was not outside the spotlight but within it…. Would you look at me?’

Because you photograph inside the stage.

Even while walking in the same direction, we couldn’t see each other’s faces.

Despite feeling each other’s body warmth, we couldn’t see each other’s faces.

We walked the same path. At the same pace. With the same warmth. But whether our hearts were the same – nobody knew.

No, even if they were the same, if it’s okay…

Nobody told me.

An unanswered, frustrating question hung in the lamplight.

So I didn’t know.

That my heart was gradually becoming like the lyrics.

The song streaming by my ear was, at some point, resonating within me.

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