chapter 166 - A Wavering Heart (3)
"Swen."
A voice echoed in my head. A woman's voice.
"Are you going to abandon me too?"
'……?'
I slowly focused my mind on the voice. For some reason, I could easily recognize its owner—my lord, Serpina.
Since I had identified the owner, her words naturally settled into my thoughts.
That I would abandon her and leave?
I…
At that moment, another voice reached me.
"Swen."
"Are you not planning to return to me?"
Another woman’s voice. A voice I knew well.
It had been a long time since I had last heard it… yet, I remembered it clearly.
Lunarian Iniang.
The one who had trusted me unconditionally. My first lord—Luna.
To leave Serpina and go to Luna.
To stay by Serpina’s side instead of returning «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» to Luna.
I…
Did I have to choose between the two?
No, from the very beginning… was this even a question worth considering?
A doubt surfaced in my mind, but in contrast, my head stopped functioning properly.
As if I had become a jellyfish, adrift on the sea, I floated aimlessly, recalling their voices over and over.
My first lord, Luna.
And my current lord, Serpina.
Between the two of them, whom should I…
***
When I came to, I felt something hitting my face.
Light.
Even with my eyes closed, I could sense the sunlight pouring down on me.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, and only then did I realize—the strange experience I had just gone through was all a dream.
'A dream…?'
Wait.
If I had dreamed, that meant… I had fallen asleep?
I slowly sat up.
With a soft rustle, the blanket slipped down my body.
I could feel the fabric vividly against my skin.
A sensation I wouldn’t have noticed if I had been wearing pajamas.
I… wasn’t wearing anything on my upper body.
'Wait. What happened last night?'
Still groggy, I slowly tried to recall the events of the previous night.
I remembered going to the villa after being summoned by Serpina, listening to her talk, and offering to drink with her.
I remembered emptying one glass after another…
'…Wait.'
The moment I realized that I couldn’t remember anything after drinking, my drowsiness vanished instantly.
A slight chill ran down my spine as I slowly turned my head to the side.
And there, right beside me—
A head of dazzling golden hair.
"……!!!!!!"
At that moment, any lingering sleepiness vanished. My mind was sharper than ever.
Of course, it was only natural.
Because right next to me, lying in bed, was a woman.
A woman with golden hair, whose silhouette left no doubt about her identity.
On the bedside table, I spotted a distinctively shaped hairpin.
A hairpin that its owner always wore.
And that owner was… my lord, Serpina.
'…No way.'
No way.
It couldn’t be.
I cautiously examined Serpina, who was lying beside me.
She was peacefully asleep, wearing an elegant negligee.
Her soft breathing was audible even from where I sat.
Golden strands of hair cascaded over her snow-white cheeks.
Those lips, slightly parted, had once clashed against mine.
Her ample chest, barely contained by the negligee, looked like it would spill out at any moment.
No.
No, no, no, no.
That wasn’t important.
What mattered was the situation itself.
I had blacked out from drinking, only to wake up and find a woman sleeping next to me.
This was serious.
'No, no, it can’t be… right?'
For some reason, I wasn’t wearing a shirt, but she was properly dressed in her nightwear.
Maybe we had just fallen asleep after drinking together?
That had to be it.
It had to be.
If I had crossed a line with my own lord—
"Mm…"
"!!!"
At the sudden sound of Serpina’s voice, I flinched and instinctively leaned back.
A moment later, she slowly opened her eyes.
Her golden irises, illuminated by the morning sunlight, shimmered like a galaxy in the night sky.
And I?
Holding my breath, frozen in place, I watched her rise in utter disbelief.
"……."
She rubbed her eyes lightly before sitting up.
Then, she turned her head naturally—toward me.
Our gazes met.
What if she panicked and screamed?
What if the guards came rushing in and saw this?
In the brief moment our eyes locked, countless ridiculous thoughts flooded my mind.
But fortunately, none of that happened.
"…Did you sleep well, Swen?"
Her voice, still husky with drowsiness, was calm as ever.
"A-Ah, um, well… I mean, the thing is, uh, this—"
"I simply asked if you slept well."
This translation is the intellectual property of .
Serpina’s expression remained as serious as always.
As if waking up to find me beside her was the most natural thing in the world.
"…Yes."
"That is a relief. You had me quite worried last night."
"Me…?"
At my response, she tilted her head slightly, as if puzzled.
Even Serpina could make such an expression—like a small, curious creature.
Honestly… it was cute.
…Of course, saying that out loud would probably get me executed.
"Do you remember nothing at all?"
"…That is correct."
I briefly considered lying my way out of this, but given the situation, it was far too late for that.
In fact, a lie might only make things worse.
Telling the truth was the best option here.
"I see. I had a feeling that might be the case, judging by that utterly foolish look on your face."
Serpina chuckled softly, her voice laced with amusement.
It was a beautiful laugh—so captivating that anyone would be left momentarily entranced.
"Well, a lot happened. I had high hopes when you offered to drink with me, but it turns out you are not particularly strong when it comes to alcohol."
"…My lord, if—if there is anything I must take responsibility for, I will take full responsibility—"
Before I could even finish my sentence, she cut me off.
And then, without hesitation, she answered the question I had been dreading.
"Nothing happened last night."
"Is that so? But then why—"
"You took off your clothes because you said you were hot. You insisted on staying by my side, claiming that if you were to serve me, sharing a bed was only natural. That was all."
I said something like that?
Calling it "sharing a bed" sounded mild, but depending on the interpretation, that was practically treason against a sovereign—an offense that could very well see me executed.
'Damn alcohol…'
At that moment.
Serpina, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush, leaned in close—
And ran her fingertip along my lips.
The soft scent of her skin, mixed with a hint of citrus, flooded my senses.
Because of the way she leaned forward, her ample chest, barely restrained by the negligee, filled my vision, sending my rational thoughts into disarray.
"Or… are you disappointed that nothing happened?"
"…My lord."
"If you wish, I would not mind indulging you a little more."
Gulp.
I swallowed instinctively.
I could feel my face heating up.
She had always stood above me, clad in either regal dresses or military uniforms, looking down from a throne or a commander's seat.
But now, dressed in nothing but a delicate negligee, speaking to me at eye level—
For the first time, I saw her not as a ruler, but as a woman.
And my heart began pounding violently in response.
"My lord. I… that is…"
Just as I was about to say something—
"Well, I doubt I could win your heart so easily just by making advances first thing in the morning."
Serpina chuckled lightly before drawing away.
She rose gracefully from the bed, and I exhaled a quiet breath of relief.
…Or was it really relief?
I honestly wasn’t sure anymore.
"Where are we…?"
"A place not far from the villa. This is my private chamber. No one else is allowed to enter."
"What? That means—"
"Of course, I should say that no one had ever entered before."
Serpina pressed her pale fingers against her lips, a subtle blush coloring her face as she looked at me.
"You are the first, Swen. The first to ever set foot in my private space."
Then, as if amused by my reaction, she smiled.
…She was beautiful.
So beautiful that it was almost as if the goddess of beauty had poured all her favor upon her.
"If you wish to avoid rumors, it would be wise to leave soon. You wouldn’t want to be seen by anyone, would you?"
"Ah… Y-yes. Understood."
Yes.
First, I needed to get out of here safely.
I could think about everything else later.
Thump. Thump.
My heart pounded loudly in my chest—not because of what had just happened, but because I had just escaped a potentially life-threatening situation.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself.
With that thought, I got out of bed and began preparing to leave.
***
As Swen dressed, Serpina watched his back in silence, recalling the events of the previous night.
The things she had confessed to him.
And the response he had given her in return.
"My lord. You have been through so much. If I can, I will always remain by your side."
"I do not put much faith in words spoken under the influence of alcohol."
"It’s not… just because of the alcohol. It’s simply how I feel. Not just because you are my sovereign—but because you are Serpina."
"…!!"
"I just… want to stay by your side…"
His words, spoken with a flushed face and heavy with intoxication.
She was not naive enough to trust the words of a drunken man.
It was very likely that he did not even remember the things she had shared with him.
After all, he could not even recall why he had woken up in this chamber.
And yet—
When he said he wanted to stay not as a subordinate, but simply as someone who wished to remain by Serpina’s side…
She had felt her heart race.
Serpina had allowed him into this room.
This space, which she had reserved only for those who would stay by her side no matter what.
Even knowing that he might not remember, even knowing it was spoken in a drunken haze—
She had placed her hopes in him.
This chamber held a great deal of significance for her.
It was the one place where she could exist not as the ruler of the Serpina Army, not as the last surviving heir of the Eingart family—
But simply as herself.
She could have easily taken advantage of his drunken state to solidify his presence here as an unchangeable fact.
But Serpina did not want to win his heart through coercion or force.
She knew all too well that one could not truly claim another’s loyalty that way.
If.
If Swen truly chose to remain by her side—
‘Then from that moment on… I will live only for you.’
The words she could not bring herself to say remained buried deep within her heart.