Autumn's Final Dynasty

Iba Algi was ten whole years old – and nearly eleven. She had been playing with Harlecuin Sols all morning. Harlecuin Sols looked ten, but was actually over a thousand and ten years old. How amazing was that? Iba Algi thought it was pretty gosh darn amazing. She was short for her age and a little chubby. She got that from her mom. Harlecuin Sols was shorter, the poor thing, and super thin except for his hair. He had an amazing ball of yellow gold hair. His eyes were brilliant blue. In fact, Harlecuin Sols was kind of like the sky inside out. The sun was a big yellow ball and the skies were small blue disks.

If that made any sense.

Well… it made sense to Iba Algi.

Iba Algi had borrowed her mom's best tea set. Her mom was Western Duke's youngest daughter, and almost as elegant as the Empress herself. Iba Algi hoped to be half that elegant when she grew up. According to Consort Chen, Iba Algi would grow up slowly. Ironically, Snowblind Tigress wasn't much taller than Iba Algi despite being a shaman from the Frost Giant Clan.

How amazing was that?

Iba Algi thought it was pretty gosh darn amazing. One alley behind Iba Algi's courtyard ran past one of Consort Chen's gardens. Maybe Snowblind Tigress would visit! Ironically, the blind consort was one of the few people who could see Harlecuin Sols. Iba Algi poured Harlecuin Sols more tea even though he was a ghost. How amazing was that? Pretty gosh darn amazing.

Someone was watching Iba Algi from that spooky watchtower again. She didn't like it one bit. But at least her best friend Harlecuin Sols didn't have to worry about getting spied on by bad people.

"Iba Algi!" called her mom. "There's a b-o-y here to visit!"

"A b-o-y?" asked Iba Algi. "Who do you think it is, Harlecuin Sols?"

"There's only one person it could be!" he replied.

His voice was as cute as he was. Harlecuin Sols was just as cute as the b-o-y who had come to visit – and that was pretty gosh darn cute.

"Renjie!" said Iba Algi and Harlecuin Sols together.

The Fourth Prince could not see Harlecuin Sols, but understood roughly where Iba Algi's other suitor sat – and thought maybe he could pick out something warm and fuzzy in the chair's vicinity. Renjie greeted his tiny rival respectfully, then pinched both of Iba Algi's chubby cheeks at the same time. Distorting her face, he asked if it was necessary to send Esmaralde to ruin his first best chance at a booty call. 

"Did you do it because you were jealous?" he asked.

"How does a booty call anyone?" asked Iba Algi.

"I admit the term is inelegant," replied Renjie.

"I didn't send Esmaralde anywhere," said Iba Algi. "Nobody can do that."

It was difficult for her to speak when her face was being distorted. Renjie let go.

"You didn't?" he asked.

"No," Iba Algi insisted. "Mr. Featherpuff woke me up in the middle of the night with terrible news, but I knew everything would be alright."

"Mr. Featherpuff?" asked Renjie. "That little bird?"

Iba Algi held out one hand. A round bird with feathers so fluffy only the tip of his beak stuck out materialized on her palm. Renjie stared. He couldn't see anything. Except… no… maybe….

"Is this his beak?" asked the Fourth Prince.

"Of course it's his beak," said Iba Algi. "And these are his tail feathers."

"What news did Mr. Featherpuff bring you?" asked Renjie.

"Oh my gosh!" said Iba Algi "A great big gangster's hand was raining righteous punishment down upon your bottom. If there is a cuter bottom in all Great Yao, it could only belong to Harlecuin Sols."

Harlecuin Sols and Mr. Featherpuff nodded emphatically.

"Raining righteous punishment might be an exaggeration," said the Fourth Prince. "I wonder if your visions are made worse by all the naughty illustrated novels you've been 'borrowing.'"

"Nonsense," said Iba Algi. "Is there bruising? It would be horrible if there was bruising."

She made an effort to check for bruises. Renjie pretended to make an effort to stop her. Harlecuin Sols thought it was tremendously funny.

"Oh!" said Renjie. "I can hear him laughing!"

Iba Algi clapped.

"My future husband is getting more sensitive!" she told Mr. Featherpuff.

Mr. Featherpuff hopped around excitedly.

"But then I wonder why Sister-in-Law showed up?" asked Renjie.

"Don't ask me," said Iba Algi.

"Who in all Great Yao is better to ask?" asked Renjie.

"Well," said Iba Algi. "Nobody. Except for maybe Esmaralde."

"Even if I asked her," said Renjie, "she wouldn't know the answer as well as you. I know Moonlight Chamber is watching me. But they would never call Esmaralde on my behalf."

"They were watching me again," said Iba Algi, "but stopped right when you showed up."

"Really?" asked Renjie. "How long have they been watching?"

"About three weeks," said Iba Algi. "I find it very bothersome."

Renjie looked around until he spotted the watchtower. It was about a hundred yards away. The wood and cloth screens made it impossible to see anyone inside. That wouldn't stop the Fourth Prince, but he made no effort to look further.

"However, someone nice started watching," said Iba Algi. "He stopped just now."

"Are you sure it's a 'he?'" asked Renjie.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Iba Algi. "Or jealous."

She made a silly face.

"Define nice," asked Renjie.

"He wants to protect me," said Iba Algi.

"Protect you from what?"

"I'm not sure," said Iba Algi. "Do you know, Harlecuin Sols?"

"I don't know!" said Harlecuin Sols.

Renjie put a bag of folded clothes on the table.

"Have you been buying underwear from starving heroes again?" asked Iba Algi.

"This time is different!" insisted Renjie.

Iba Algi put her hand on one set of folded clothes.

"Oh!" she said. "I see."

Renjie leaned close.

"What do you see?" he asked.

"My vision is hazy."

"I brought ice cream."

"Where is it?"

"Your mother is making it presentable."

"It doesn't need to be presentable! It needs to be in my tummy! Mom!"

Iba Algi's plump, fashionable mother appeared with a tray. On the tray were two big bowls of ice cream – and one little one. She presented the big bowls to Renjie and Iba Algi. The little bowl went to Harlecuin Sols. Iba Algi ate her ice cream quickly.

"Did freezing the bottom of your brain help clear your vision?" asked Renjie.

Iba Algi patted the piles of clothing again.

"I see naughty boys," she said.

"Not that naughty," said Renjie. "They're all virgins."

"Not this one," said Iba Algi.

She and Mr. Featherpuff giggled.

"Except that one," agreed Renjie.

"Maybe they wouldn't be virgins if they stopped sneaking around in tombs so much," said Iba Algi.

Renjie did a victory dance.

"Yes!" he said. "I knew it!"

"Then why ask, you big silly?"

"I didn't know, know," conceded Renjie. "But which tomb? The necropolis is big."

"I don't think it's the necropolis," said Iba Algi.

"The smell of hanky-panky is fresh. They couldn't have gone too far from the city."

Iba Algi pointed down. Renjie followed her finger. Then it hit him.

"They're looking for the Vault of the Ancient Giants?" he asked.

Iba Algi nodded. Renjie did another victory dance.

"Yes!" he said. "That's so cool!"

"And foolish," said Iba Algi.

"I think so too!" said Harlecuin Sols.

Both children nodded emphatically.

"Why are so many boys foolish?" asked Iba Algi. "Harlecuin Sols is a boy and he's not foolish."

"Boys do foolish things because it's cool," said Renjie. "But how would they get into the Mound's tombs?"

"There's a big, almost-huge tunnel that starts at the end of Remembrance Bridge," said Iba Algi, "and runs through the Mound to the Eternal City."

"A big, almost-huge, and well-patrolled tunnel," said Renjie.

"Reasonably well-patrolled," said Iba Algi.

"Are you suggesting that the patrols are inadequate?"

"I am suggesting that there's been twenty years of peace, you big silly. That's two lifetimes!"

Renjie considered.

"No one knows where all the side tunnels go," he said. "Unless you do?"

"I don't," said Iba Algi. "Also no one knows if all the side tunnels have been found."

"But you know if all the tunnels have been found," said Renjie.

"That's true," said Iba Algi. "I do."

"Have they all been found?" asked Renjie.

"Of course not," replied Iba Algi.

"Did these dirty clothes find their way into any unfound tunnels?" asked Renjie.

Iba Algi went through all the dirty clothes carefully.

"Yes," she said. "My Future Husband is developing good instincts! These dirty clothes did find their way into previously unfound tunnels."

"Did they find anything in the newly found tunnels?"

"Mostly they just found more empty tunnels dug by hobgoblins a heckuva long time ago."

"A heckuva long time ago!" agreed Harlecuin Sols.

"That's so cool!" said Renjie. "But you said 'mostly.'"

"I was trying to be efficient," said Iba Algi. "They also found bits of broken ceiling lying on the floors, collections of ground water seepage, corroded statuary, and other greebly bits."

"Wailing spectres?" asked Renjie eagerly.

"A few," agreed Iba Algi.

"That's so cool!" said Renjie. "Wait a minute…."

He picked up the little bowl of ice cream. It was empty.

"He actually ate the ice cream," said Renjie.

"Eating is what you do with ice cream," said Iba Algi. "Even though it takes you a while to figure things out, I still think you're the best."

"I think so too!" said Harlecuin Sols.