Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG

BBQ Grillmaster signed the nondisclosure agreement without complaint like the rest of his colleagues. Although he was happy that the boxes would only work for two more days, he conceded that they were a powerful training tool and shouldn't have been leaked. However, the last day was worse than any boot camp. Rob had drilled them until his virtual body had broken down.

"Alright folks, the match will start in 4 hours. Try to get into your best condition until then. Either you do it on your own, or you take my special offer." Rob grinned. BBQ knew that this kind of smile meant pain. "My mother has a time dilation chamber. Nine of us may use it until the patch. The time in there flows three times faster than in the Metaworld. That means you need at least 90% synchronization if you don't want to puke. So who is with me?"

Immediately, Zapple, Hub, Ressa, and Jelonso raised their hands.

'Damn. I can't chicken out if the rest of Team Fire and all of Team Light shows up.' Reluctantly, BBQ raised his hand. His sync was only at 86%, but he had experienced three times dilation in the past. Except for a bit of vertigo, it had gone over well.

Normad, Ponda, and Mia raised their hands while Hoffi, Olivia, and Tobias abstained.

BBQ knew that the first two had sync-rates in the high eighties, too, while Hoffi and Olivia didn't reach 80. Tobias had over 90. The sly rogue skipped class. BBQ envied him, but at the same time, he knew that because he wasn't as talented as the others, he had to work harder.

Rob gave them the address of Auntie Flo's teleportation circle. It was quite a mouth full.

BLEAMTO Cathedral of Home Appliances TOBLEAM.

When BBQ arrived, his instincts lead his eyes to the turrets on top of the two brick walls. Six of them pointed directly to the circle, but he spotted more farther away. When he turned around, he realized that they had landed on the first or second level, and four more turrets aimed at them from the floor.

BBQ gulped. That wasn't a cathedral but a *bleep*ing fortress! He felt tiny in front of the 6 meter high walls. Only two doors and a ramp distracted from their massiveness.

Confidently, Rob strode to the smaller door and waved them in.

BBQ hurried out of the line of fire, only to appear directly in front of a fighter jet wreck. It was propped up on strange poles. Savage grimaces adorned them. Were those poles kin-routes? One kin-route was worth a shitton of VirDias, and the Auntie used them as mounts for a shipwreck?

"Your mum is a mad scientist, Bro," Hub said. "I've always known it, and that lair is the bloody proof."

BBQ wrested his gaze free and looked at the rest of the lair. It was a maze. Of course, it was a maze; what else would you put into a spooky fortress? Boxes and containers were stacked haphazardly, with narrow paths between them. The only light came from rune-schemes and some pools in which the water and glass fractured it. The shadows between the boxes seemed to be moving.

Carefully, BBQ followed his teammates into the maze. His eyes darted left and right, inspecting every crossing and shadow for hidden perils. A whirring sound from the ceiling attracted his gaze. Turrets! Turrets, over turrets, lined the top like a deadly stucco.

As they got closer to the center, combat sounds reached them. After turning around a corner, a glowing box surrounded by elementals appeared. Fire escaped from the clearance between the door and the frame, light exploded, and a green mist drifted out of it. In the background, they heard heavy strikes hitting a soft target. Meanwhile, the elementals pelted the box with their attacks.

Suddenly, a monster appeared on the ledge of one of the bigger containers.

Never BBQ had been so thankful that the Cetviwos spared restroom activities. He would have soiled his pants in Real Life.

A fireball, a Fire Shot, several Smites, and a Lightning Bolt flew towards the monster, who disappeared in a fiery cloud.

"That's one of Auntie's robots. What are you doing?" Mia asked.

"Do I really have to tell you to behave? My mother said that you shouldn't destroy her toys. Okay, she only said, Hub shouldn't waste them, but that counts for all of you!"

"Beep!" The monster reappeared from the depth of the container, unharmed. It was just a small octopus with peace signs glowing on its skin. For the number of spells they had produced, it was remarkably intact. It waved to them and spread a banner beneath the container. "Library Container. Store your books while training, and fetch them afterward. You will receive a digitalized copy of them."

Relieved, most of the group laughed. BBQ was happy that he wasn't the only one on edge.

"Aidan, what boxes are in the workshop and simulation grounds?"

From an invisible sound system, a cultured, male voice listed the available boxes. The only unfamiliar one was the Climbing Race. Usually, BBQ would be interested in raising his climbing ability, but he wasn't in the mood for new experiences.

"Any more advice from my mother?" Rob asked.

"She said that you would know without prompting that you had to pay in kisses, Young Master."

Hub sniggered.

"Yes, of course, I'm aware," Rob said, grinning. "But thanks for the reminder, mate."

---

"I'll stay here," Ahoncathyr growled when Ressa wanted to put him into the pet bag. The eyes of the fiery tiger never left the octopus robot.

"Suit yourself," Ressa shrugged and activated the Treadmill Tunnel before logging into the workshop of her mate's mother.

Dismissively, Ahoncathyr flicked his tail. His full concentration was on his nemesis, the Octopussy. They had unfinished business. He couldn't accept that a small robot bested him twice. Now that it didn't have it human support it, he would show the tin can what it meant to face a boss level creature!

*roar* (Face your demise, tin can)!

As the octopus cheekily waved from its perch, the peace symbols on its skin transformed into crossed weapons.

With a might jump, Ahoncathyr crossed the distance, but the robot had already left for the next container. While the robot climbed on top of a boxing box, it shot at the angry tiger with its two laser tentacles.

Hissing, the tiger followed. He swiped at the robot's head but only hit one of its tentacles.

The robot swung over the edge and mounted the next box.

Suddenly, laser beams from all directions targeted the tiger.

*roar* (Impertinence! Stay out of my fight!)

He dodged two but then got hit by a third. To his astonishment, his HP went up. The lasers healed him! When he stood still to fill his pool, the Octopussy shot at him again. Its lasers still hurt him.

Ahoncathyr jumped on the container and swiped at the Octopussy, who sat on the top of a box. The tin can danced away, and he hit the box instead. Although his claws produced sparks, the container was unharmed.

While the miss aggravated Ahoncathyr, he was delighted that the furniture seemed to be firm. He knew that humans got huffy when he sharpened his claws on their stuff. Knowing that the alpha's mother was a steady builder, set him free to let loose.

<Burning the Jungle>

Fire exploded out of him. The shockwave rattled the boxes and flung the octopus away.

This time, the healing turrets focused on the Octopussy. Ahoncathyr agreed that it was only fair. It wouldn't matter anyway. When he bit the robot's head off, no turret could reattach it!

The tiger and the robot battled to their hearts' content. Laser beams and flames fought for dominance, but none of them could reach a decisive victory.

First, Ahoncathyhr's mana ran dry. So, he threw the full weight of his massive body into the combat. But he wasn't used to all the jumping needed to follow the robot into the heights of the maze. His muscles started to hurt.

When the robot scaled another tower of boxes, Ahoncathyr stalked close to the wall, out of the line of sight of his nemesis. He would attack him like a true ambush predator!

Suddenly, the robot landed on his back, stabbing its vibro-knife into his flank!

Ahoncathyr rolled on the floor, and the octopus dislodged itself, but as soon as he stopped, it hopped again on his back. Because of the tiger's exhaustion, he wasn't as fast as at his best.

*roar* (I squish you, sea bug!)

*beheheheheep*

Finally, his claw smashed into the tin can and sent it flying. Undaunted, the robot scurried on the next box and shot him.

Ahoncathyr lay down and closed his eyes, ignoring the laser. The healing turrets hadn't led him down so far—time to regenerate some stamina and mana.

The Octopussy ignited a skill, and the laser beams rained on the tiger. All of them were hitting his head. His HP drained away like Ressa's tequila when she had an especially bad or an especially good night. The bombardment stopped when only a sliver of his health remained.

The tiger opened his eyes and stared at the Octopussy, who came closer. He tightened his muscles, ready for the last gambit. When the robot entered his reach, he pounced.

Two tentacles hit his side. The robot used them to push himself out of harm's way.

Ahoncathyr stayed on the ground. His hot breath wheezed out of his maw. The octopus neared again, but he could only swipe half-heartedly at it. He was spent.

The robot dodged his claw with ease. Then it petted his head! That little shite dared to touch his majestic crown!

Ahoncathyr growled.

The robot reached out again, scratching behind the tiger's ear.

*growl* (Let me die in combat)

*beep, beep*

The robot shot him in the same rhythm as the turrets healed him.

Ahoncathyr could get no rest.

Finally, the robot petted him again. Loudspeakers transmitted "Meow".

Five seconds went by in peace. Then the robot scratched him behind the ear, and the meow sounded anew. The Octopussy nodded at him and shot at him.

*half whimper half growl* (Kill me!)

Ear scratch. 2 seconds break. Loudspeakers: "Meow." 3 seconds break. Three whacks on the head. 22 seconds of laser fire and healing.

Ear scratch. 2 seconds break. Loudspeakers: "Meow." 3 seconds break. Three whacks on the head. 22 seconds of laser fire and healing.

Ear scratch. 2 seconds break. Loudspeakers: "Meow." 3 seconds break. Three whacks on the head. 22 seconds of laser fire and healing.

Did the tin can want him to imitate the sound? He was a tiger boss and not a house cat! Ahoncathyr wanted to burn the world and himself with it! If it were possible to die out of shame, his corpse would have rotted to dust! Finally, he had regenerated enough mana and stamina for one Fire Swipe. He had to make it count!

When the little pest arrived to scratch him, he used all his remaining mana to ignite his paw. With one fiery swipe, he hit the tin can on his head, sending it crashing into the wall.

Although the robot was severely burned and multiple tentacles hang limply on the floor, it still moved. When the healing turrets focused on the robot, Ahoncathyr knew he failed. He let his head fall on his paws and closed his eyes.

*beep* The voice of the robot sounded regretful.

Then Ahoncarthy felt a sharp pain in his head and a familiar orange message appeared. Never had he been happier to see it.

His elation only lasted a few seconds. Then it vanished due to the torment of his ears.

"Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?"

As soon as the orange barrier fell, he sprinted out of the loser's corner. But where to go from here? The pet bond drew him to his human, but the monster robot waited for him there.

Ahoncathyr slinked along the wall of the massive building, searching for the spot closest to his human without entering it. When he found it, he settled down for a nap. He felt ashamed of his cowardice, but he saw no path to victory.

As soon as the tiger closed his eyes, a laser beam hit him. He jumped up and spotted the turrets on the railing. He dodged the next beam, got shot again, and dodged another beam. Slowly, the turrets herded him to the entry of the lair.

*roar* (Damned if I do, damned if I don't.)

He jumped up to the first level.

*roar* (Are you a cat or a hamster? Fight!)

And he entered the lair.

Another epic fight between a fiery tiger and a crafty octopus robot commenced. It ended the same, Ahoncathyr lying on the floor without a drop of stamina left.

When the robot approached, Ahoncarthy just stared at him coldly.

*hiss* (You may humiliate me, but you will never subdue me!)

After the Octopussy scratched his ears and the annoying meowing sound played, it put a fish in front of his nose. Not any fish, salmon, one of his favorites.

Heroically, Ahoncartyr resisted, for at least one breath, then he snatched up the salmon in one bite.

*hiss* (You may feed me delicious fish, but you will never subdue me!)

The snack rekindled his spirits and pool bars. He pounced at the tin can.

Two minutes later, Ahoncathyr was at his end… again.

The robot scratched him behind his ears, and the loudspeaker meowed. Again, the tin can produced a salmon. It showed it to him. The loudspeaker repeated the meow.

Ahoncathyr stared at the fish, but the robot didn't move. Finally, it vanished the fish and smacked the tiger over the head.

*growl* (My fish! Give me my fish!)

The robot scratched him behind his ears, and the loudspeaker meowed. Again, the tin can fetched a salmon. It showed it to him.

*meow* (What is pride if you can have salmon?)

The Octopussy put the fish in front of him and petted his head. It changed its skin to a pattern with a tiger and an octopus walking together, hand in hand or in this case, paw in tentacle.

Ahoncathyr cursed his weakness to the king of fish. First, a human used the flaw to tame him, and now even a robot exploited it!

---

Some hours earlier, Flora woke up when she felt a kiss on her temple.

"Hey, Ma. How are you?" Robby whispered.

"Better," Flora answered, and it was true. "Maybe another kiss and my brain will improve even more."

Dutifully, Rob planted three more, and Flora hugged him.

"Did I miss your match?"

"No, you've got 12 hours more in dilation."

"What are you doing here?" Flora exclaimed and winced. "Go away and prepare!"

Robby chuckled and gave her a last kiss before he vanished.

"Milady, Aito is playing with Ahoncathyr."

Flora raised her eyebrows when she heard the sentence. The video feed of a fiery tiger and a laser-shooting Octopussy confirmed her suspicions.

"Make sure you configured everything breakable to ignore the damage. Aito dear, if you manage to become friends with the kitty, I'll buy you ten books; Ten expensive books of your choice. Don't neglect the barrel training box! I want to use it soon."

"Beheheeep!"

Slowly, Flora stood up. While she shuffled to the Jacuzzi, Aidan told her that Aito had already finished the Climbing Race.

"I will use the barrel in Deriga's workshop. Please reheat the Jacuzzi and add an Acid Pool with cold runes in the bedroom."

Flora entered the Climbing Race and tested it out. The barrel rolled as Flora climbed on the inner wall, never reaching the top and even better, never crawling on the bottom. "Good job, Aito." After setting climbing to auto, Flora went back to her bedroom.

There, she entered the Acid Pool. With her pain settings on 70%, it was a strange experience. The acid burned on her skin, but the icy water cooled her at the same time. She dove deeper in the pool and fought with powerful breaststrokes against the current. Every minute she cast Infinite Breath.

Of course, she wanted to speak with Aidan, maybe to go over more letters or listen to Bliz tales of icy mountains, but she forced herself to abstain. All that multitasking was the reason for her headache. She had to learn to relax and just concentrate on a single task. Even mixing in the underwater breathing spell was a bit of stretch.

Flora's control over her magic was improving. Only one in three spells fizzled out.

Flora spent the afternoon diving, swimming, and relaxing in the Jacuzzi. When she laid in the hot tub, chilling, she sometimes summoned Bliz for entertainment and head cooling. She filled the day with only the most recreative activities: meditation, polishing her nails and drawing little silver toasters on them, thinking about the perfect vehicle for her and her growing team, and of course, some naps.

Although Aidan informed her that Deriga and all council members but Minos Irden had sent their recommendations for the entourage, she ignored the letters. Instead, she ordered Aidan to inform them that she would decide the applicants on Wednesday One, cultivate until Friday One, and meet them then.

Close to the match, Aito sent one of Haidan's video feeds to Flora. It showed one proud octopussy riding on a dejected tiger. Orange kittens adorned the robot's skin. When Aito scratched the beast behind the ears, the tiger meowed softly.

"I guess that counts as being friends?" With narrowed eyes, Flora half asked, and half stated the sentence.

In victory, Aito threw four tentacles in the air and changed her skin to violet with white hearts.