As It Was

Henry

It was only half-past ten in the morning when I'd parked about a quarter block away from the hospital. This morning we would be getting a follow up from Dr. Perez about Chandler's physical therapy progress, and he'd told me on the phone last night that he wanted me to come.

So, of course, I did.

Normally, I would park in the car garage to save time and effort of walking a long way. Today, however, was so refreshingly beautiful that I wanted to enjoy it on the way up. The air was crisp and fresh as a spring breeze whispered around me and tickled my cheeks as it went. My hair became a bit messy, but I didn't care.

Mornings like this were too gorgeous to pass up, and I couldn't help but feel a niggling hope in my tummy that today was going to be a great day. For the first time in two months, I was completely at ease.

So, I walked through the middle of the city, looking through countless pristine windows of shops and towering skyscrapers. I was taking it all in, because I'd had to recently learn that you never know when life will change, whisking you away with no time to react or look back.

I took my time, strolling with small steps down the concrete sidewalk leading to the hospital's main entrance. Once I reached the doors, I took the last sip of my coffee and disposed of the cup before walking in through the sliding panels.

I signed in at reception and patted the visitor sticker onto my shirt when a woman with kind eyes handed it to me. The elevator ride to the sixth floor was short, feeling much different now than it had just about a week ago. Before Chan woke up, everything I did felt like a chore. My stomach was constantly churning with angst and worry, and I felt physically sick from all the emotions I was feeling at once. Now, I knew I was going to walk into a room where my best friend was awake, able to talk to me, laugh with me, and smile at me. Nothing was one-sided, anymore.

Well, almost nothing.

The elevator dinged as the doors slid open, and I stepped out into the crisp white hallway. I strolled down the long corridor looking for the numbers of Chandler's new room he'd been moved to shortly after my last visit. He was no longer on the trauma floor and was moving to the floor where most people were admitted when they were meant to be discharged. I stopped in my tracks when the door in front of me read the numbers 509 and raised a fist to knock lightly.

Once I heard a muffled 'come in', I opened the door slightly and entered. The first thing I saw was Chan's unfairly toned upper body, clad in a long-sleeved grey shirt sitting upright in his hospital bed. He'd been in a coma for around two months, but still was able to maintain such a fit form. It didn't make sense, but it wasn't as surprising as it should have been. His bottom half was sprawled out lazily, legs covered in light grey joggers that he always managed to look so good in. I coughed shamefully, hoping to god that he didn't notice my ogling.

I hadn't seen him in a week. I started going back to work again, as I was finally recouping. I was still shaken up and I still had nightmares, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. As nice as it was to finally go back and see my coworkers and do some work, I still wished I could see Chandler more often. When my shift ended in the evening, it was usually already half-past five. I never wanted to just show up at the hospital to see him because, for all I knew, he was probably exhausted from all the physical therapy he'd been doing and wouldn't want visitors.

Also, I knew his family was visiting a lot last week so I didn't want to intervene. They needed time with him and I fully understood that. I'd been so utterly and completely shattered for those two months, I couldn't even begin to imagine how they felt.

It then occurred to me that he wasn't the only one in the room. Sitting in chairs on the other side of the room were his mother, father, and older brother. Chan's parents didn't seem to notice me come in as they'd been engaged in a conversation with a nurse, laughing about something.

Seeing me enter, Samuel rose from his seat and made his way over to me, "Hey, stranger!" he clapped my shoulder in a very stereotypical best-friend's-brother kind of way that was familiar, "It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen you! How have you been?" He and Chandler definitely shared their good looks. While Chan was handsome, sharp yet soft in all right places and charming as ever, Samuel was older by five years. He was more matured and refined, but more lean than his little brother. The whole family had dark, narrow eyes and gleaming smiles that stood out from anyone else's.

Everyone seemed to be jealous of the perfect bother duo, but I found myself being rather endeared by how alike they were rather than envious of their blessed genes.

"Hey," I laughed lightly, grabbing the hand he held out toward me and shaking it lightly, "I've been doing well. What about you and the family?" I referred to his wife and their daughter of one year. I'd met his wife at their wedding a few years ago and seen her at various family get-togethers that Chandler insisted I come to. She was a very kind woman with soft features that matched her airy voice. Their daughter was adorable as well when I'd seen her and is very lucky to have a family that loves her so dearly.

"We're doing great!" His kind smile softened slightly as he turned his head to look at Chandler who I noticed was sprawled across the hospital bed messily just staring at us with a bored expression, "Well, I shouldn't keep you from him much longer. He's losing his mind from boredom."

We both let out a laugh and I excused myself to walk over to Chan's beside, " 'Morning, Chan." I greeted him softly, patting him on his messy onyx hair in the way that felt so familiar, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good." he looked up at me as my hand ran through his soft raven locks. His eyes closed slightly at the feeling of my fingernails on his scalp before snapping them open again and quickly looking away. I realized how touchy I'd been and quickly pulled my hand away. It had been instinct, but I didn't want to push it. He raised his head and gave me a small pout that pulled at my heart while I willed the flushing of my cheeks to cease, "Physical therapy has been going well. I can use my fingers pretty well again and I haven't had any trouble walking...Of course, you would've known that if you'd been here." His left brow raised, clearly testing me in a familiar way that warmed a spot nestled deep in my heart.

The corners of my lips turned down, my brows furrowing, "Hey," I said softly, "your family was here with you a lot. I didn't want to be in the way and bother everyone." My hand began to slide off of the bed's rail as I became restless with guilt, but Chan caught it before it could swing down to my side.

He held my hand in his and yanked it a bit, causing me to stumble slightly closer to him. His leg that was hanging off of the side of the bed nudged between my own just barely, but the contact made me shiver nonetheless.

"Henry," his voice was harder than usual, "What's with that bullshit? You are family." His eyes never left mine and his hand squeezed my knuckles lightly as if forcing the words into my stubborn skin.

I gulped, looking down at my feet, and nodded. I forced a small smile onto my face, looking back up at him and meeting his eyes.

Family.

His best friend.

My heart selfishly sank to my stomach as the realization hit. That's all I could ever be- nothing more, nothing less.

He looked a bit off, eyes searching my face like he could tell that my smile didn't quite reach my eyes. Thankfully before I had to say anything else to ease the moment and change the subject, a knock at the door sounded.

I let out a sigh of relief and patted Chandler's hand lightly before pulling my other one out of his grip. It always felt selfish holding onto him in any way because I knew it meant something completely different to me. Even as I'd gotten so used to hiding how I felt, my heart always yearned for more with each touch. It had become second nature to shove those desires far away and lock them up in an unreachable part of myself that nobody could find, but that didn't mean that it was easy as breathing.

I walked over to where his family was sitting on the other side of the room, not wanting to be in the way. I quickly greeted Mr. and Mrs. Lee and stood next to Samuel, his familiar and kind eyes relaxing me a bit as Dr. Perez walked into the room.

"Good morning." he greeted everyone with a kind smile as he waltzed over to each of us to exchange a shaking of the hands. He strode over to the small swiveling chair next to Chandler's bedside after greeting him as well and sat down, the nurse that had already been in the room quickly walking over to him and handing him a clipboard.

"I come bearing great news!" He sounded ecstatic, the wrinkles on his matured face standing out with his wide grin. "Chandler's physical therapy has gone extremely well over the past ten days. All of his blood tests and neurological scans have come back great and quite promising. At this rate, we feel that it is perfectly acceptable for him to be discharged as of tomorrow if he feels comfortable doing so."

Mrs. Lee gasped in happiness, her hands going to cover her open mouth in awe as she looked to her husband who had an equally shocked look on his face. Samuel grinned brightly at his younger brother, giving him a goofy wink that made my own lips inevitably quirk up a bit.

Chan's eyes met mine, and for a second the whole world seemed to freeze. It was so damn easy to get lost in his gaze. His almond orbs could melt you down to a puddle in seconds, and the slightly bashful smile on his lips was enough to weaken my knees despite the fact that I was sitting. He was never one for loving all the attention he got, even if others constantly gave it to him. With that in mind, I couldn't help but feel endeared as his cheeks pinked just slightly while the room exploded in happy laughter and cheer.

It was a sight that could melt even the iciest of hearts.

I was snapped out of my daze when Samuel clapped me on the shoulder absentmindedly as he said something to his parents. I couldn't quite pick it up because my mind was still fuzzy with the thoughts of Chan and how affected I was by just his gaze meeting mine.

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly as I flitted my eyes back to Chandler's for barely a second only to see him still watching me, but this time with a bit of a smirk on his lips. I choked a little, coughing into my fist as Samuel looked over to me with a raised brow and patted my back gently.

I gave him a quick flustered smile, a blush hot on my cheeks as I looked down and closed eyes slightly.

Would kill me to have a little chill?

Dr. Perez spoke again after the noise died down, "While he is in great condition, he still shouldn't be completely on his own yet- just in case something were to happen." He readjusted the black-rimmed glasses on his nose before continuing, "I highly recommend that he stay with family or someone who can look after him a bit for a few weeks."

A silence filled the room, Mr. and Mrs. Lee sharing worried looks with one another before speaking.

"We'd love for Chandler to come home and stay with us, then. However, we're quite busy with the company and we don't get home until late. I'm worried that something will happen while we're gone." Worry was apparent in Mrs. Lee's voice as she and her husband looked at one another and exchanged words quietly.

Dr. Perez nodded in understanding, "I'm sure he will be just fine, but it's a good idea to have someone you can trust on standby just in case." He scratched his chin as he waited patiently for the family to make this important decision and began filling out a few sheets on the counter in front of him as he spoke to the nurse stood to his side.

"How about I ask Lena if she'd be alright with him staying over?" Samuel offered, eyes moving from his parents to Chandler.

Their parents sighed, a bit deflated as they tried to weigh their options. Before anyone could speak, Chandler's stern voice resonated through the room.

"Absolutely not." frustration was evident in the depth of his voice as he ran a large hand down his face as he eyed his brother with a stony expression, "You and Lena have a kid to take care of. There's no way in hell I'm barging in and making more work for you both to do."

Samuel opened his mouth to speak at the same time their parents did, surely about to make a scolding remark about how he needs to be watched over as Dr. Perez suggested. However, Chan held up a hand, silencing them.

"Also, I'm not a baby. I'm twenty-one years old. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and calling someone if I need help." His voice softened a bit as he looked at them pleadingly, "Please, don't worry yourselves about me. I'm fine, now."

A weary silence resonated through the room, and it felt stiff.

A feeling pulled at my heart and my gut, telling me what to do. However, my brain tried to stop me.

This is a bad idea, don't even think about it.

I cleared my throat slightly, causing everyone's heads to turn in my direction a bit startled as if they forgot I was there for a moment.

Chandler's sultry eyes met mine, brows furrowing on his forehead slightly as he tried to read what I was thinking.

Henry Sallow, there's no going back after this.

"Um," my voice came out soft and reluctant, restless hands wringing tightly in front of me. I had to force my mind to stop running at that moment so that I could do this-; I needed to shut out my thoughts and listened to my heart. For once, my brain was completely overpowered by the strength of my affections for Chandler. They refused to be ignored in that moment, breaking down walls and demanding attention.

"Why don't you come stay with me?"