AntiGod: The Odyssey Of God

Year 2010

Akuma Tiryns

Age 7

“Are you ready for school, Akuma dear?”

“Uhh… yeah sure.”

Truth is, I’d rather watch paint dry than go to school.

Schoolwork isn’t the problem. In fact, I’m such a genius that even though I attend higher level classes, I have to purposefully get lower scores just to fit in.

The problem is the disgusting kids whose dopamine receptors only fly off when talking about my white hair.

The idea of punching them until they cried crossed my mind a couple times, but some strange angel figure kept stopping me.

Plus, God says to forgive all, so I will.

“We’re here!”

“Hooray…”

(She acts like this every day. We’re like half a year in and she’s still acting like it’s my first day.)

Speaking of “first days”, mine couldn’t have been better.

For those who don’t know what an “icebreaker” is, basically one by one, students take turns introducing themselves to the class.

You’d typically say stuff like your favorite color, dreams and so on.

Well, my turn came around and can you guess what my corny ass said to those kids?

Heh-Heh-heh. I still chuckle just thinking about it.

“My name is Akuma Tiryns. When I grow up I wanna be God’s right-hand man. I hope that when he gets married, he’ll call me to be his best man.”

…They laughed at me. And it was around then that the bullying started.

“*Sigh…”

(Another day of school. God, why do you hate me…)

I got out the car and dawdled to the entrance of the school, when a sudden bird chippered:

“Gooood Mornin’ Akuma!”

“Good morning to you too, Jacob.”

This high-spirited homo sapien is Jacob. And he’s the only person in this entire school who doesn’t seem to care that I’m 7 years old. He treats me the same way he treats his fellow classmates.

When we met, I accidentally mistook him for a girl.

“You sound pretty groggy, Akuma. Did you not sleep well?”

And it doesn’t help that he sounds just like one when he gets all worried like that.

“Tsk-tsk-tsk. There’s no need to sleep. God will carry me through!”

“He-he …I’m not so sure about this one. You must’ve forgot we had a test today in last period. And I hear this one is supposed to be the hardest one yet.”

“…”

A moment of silence followed by us sighing in unison at the thought of the hard time to come.

“…You know part of me wishes this school could just burn down.”

“Dude, you can’t say that.”

(Man, he really does sound like a girl when he pouts like that.)

“Anyway, this is my class, so I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Cya.”

The school I attend is known as “Green Academy”. A middle school meant for students who show exceptional abilities from a young age -whether it be sports or academics. Meaning most students here are around 13-15 years old.

And even among these geniuses -and while holding back- I was in a class of my own.

Mathematics, language, history, chemistry, sports, and even something as mundane as ethics. If those students were sure of one thing, I’d be that I would most certainly come in first.

Okay maybe not ethics but that’s a rare exception.

***

While the teacher blabbed on and on about ethics this and ethics that, the only thing that was going through my mind was the perfect position to sleep in these uncomfortable chairs.

Armout, head over maybe? Nah maybe head on hand? Then again, the classic head in a box never lets me down.

Sigh. What to choose, what to choose.

“Excuse me class. Akuma here thinks he can just sleep through my lesson.”

(Crap. I hate when this happens…)

“Since he’s soooo much better than you all, I’m sure he can answer the question on the board.”

Had this been any other class, I would’ve answered that question before he had a chance to finish talking. But I’ll admit I hesitated a bit.

Apparently, Akuma and Ethics simply can’t be mixed.

The board read:

“You and a classmate have been kidnapped. In a trembling voice, he asks; Please save me. What do you do?”

(Surely this is a no brainer. Even a baldie could guess this.)

“I save him obviously.”

I could’ve sworn that was the right answer. I mean, what else could it be? When someone needs help you save them. Right?

Yeah, there’s no doubt about it. That’s the right thing to do…

So why was the entire class laughing at me?

“For a kid who skipped grades, you’re pretty stupid!” a random student shouted out.

“You’re just a kid, what do you think you can do?” another added on.

I was beginning to grow impatient. So impatient that I slammed my hand on my desk and in a blind rage I shouted back:

“I-I COULD SAVE HIM! BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME!!”

Unfortunately, this only fueled their laughter. Even the teacher joined in.

To say my head was fuming would be an understatement. Hell, I bet if this was some video game and I got a chance to look at myself in 3rd person, I’d see a boiling tomato with steam coming out two ends.

I had half a mind to attack the first laughing kid I saw, when without warning…

*BOOM!!

A sudden loud bang rang through my ears and with it, the ground beneath my feet started to vibrate as if crying out in pain.

(An explosion?!)

“!”

My vision immediately went dark, but it wasn’t the lights that had gone out. It was as if something was keeping my eyelids closed.

I knew instantly that I wasn’t the only one, because everyone around me began shrieking in absolute terror.