Antidote

“Is your ankle alright?”She suddenly asked the question. I slowly nodded.“It’s fine.”“The pain might come back when it gets colder. Let me take a look.”After that, Ida turned around and spoke to the servant watching us.“Do you have a small stool or something we can rest the leg on?”“Shall I go get one?”“Please do.”The servant gave us a sharp glance as he walked to the door and opened it. He turned his head and murmured something through the crack. I heard someone passing by outside respond to him. It was a brief moment that didn’t last more than a few seconds. Ida, meanwhile, pulled my sleeve open and slipped something inside. It was small and crinkly—probably a piece of paper. But before I could dwell on it, the servant turned back around.He returned to his original spot.“The footrest will be here soon.”In less than five minutes, another servant appeared in the room carrying the footrest. A plush, velvet-covered stool was placed in front of me.Ida knelt in front of me without hesitation and removed the shoe from my left foot. Her dry yet soft hands lifted my foot and placed it on the stool. She gripped my toes, pressing until the muscles in my heel tightened. A dull pain shot up, and she firmly pressed and pulled at my ankle, examining the bones and muscles.“Does it hurt?”“A little…”I responded, but my mind was more on the note Ida had slipped into my sleeve than the pain in my left ankle.After a moment, Ida released my foot and stood up.“It would be good to apply a muscle relaxant. A warm compress would help too. I’ll inform the overseer about the medicine.”I nodded slightly, giving a half-hearted “Yes.”After Ida left, the servant who had been standing by led me to my room. He soon brought a tray with hot water and a towel. He thickly applied a sticky ointment to my ankle and covered it with the hot, wet towel.“I should go see the young masters and ladies…”“The master has ordered you to rest today.”An unease settled in my heart.It wasn’t the first time Lisbeth had treated me less like a slave, but it had been happening more frequently lately. I worried what might happen if others started expressing their dissatisfaction. Still, I was in no position to refuse her kindness outright. I merely nodded in silence.The servant added a few more pieces of charcoal to the brazier beneath my bed before leaving the room.Left alone, I sat uncomfortably on the bed, looking down at my ankle wrapped in the hot towel. After hesitating for a long while, I finally reached into my sleeve and pulled out what Ida had given me.As expected, it was a small piece of paper. I stared at it for what felt like an eternity. The folded edge of the light brown paper shimmered faintly. Could it be from Jiyod? What could be written inside? I wanted to unfold it right then and there.Swallowing, I clenched the note tightly in my hand. The paper crumpled beneath my palm, and my chest tightened, making it hard to breathe.In the end, I threw it into the brazier.Flames flared up, swallowing the small piece of paper.I recalled the Ipsen emblem I had tucked away. Reaching into my collar, I pulled it out. When I unfolded the small fabric, the clear image of a blue-maned beast was revealed, sewn in with fine stitches.As I traced the beast’s emblem with my fingertips, a faint longing welled up inside me. That longing grew stronger with each passing second, eventually becoming an overwhelming tide that completely unraveled me.It was a relationship I intended to end before spring arrived. Yet it had dragged on through spring, summer, autumn, and now, with the sandstorms gone, winter was approaching once again.I thought of the sweet scent of grapes that used to linger on his balcony. And the faint scent of musk I could catch when I buried my face against his firm chest.I couldn’t bear it—I missed him so much. The last time I saw him was outside the inner wall of Karlac. And back then, his face was… Ah. I lowered my gaze. How I wished my last memory of his face was him smiling warmly.I fiddled with the Ipsen emblem.Should I burn this too?The same question I had pondered dozens of times resurfaced once more.But, just like all the other times before, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.Excuses upon excuses piled up inside my head.Even the lowliest of slaves deserve to hold on to a small piece of their past, don’t they?It was pathetic self-justification, but in my current state, I lacked the strength to criticize myself for it. I cast my eyes toward the flickering embers in the brazier. Only the charred remains of the paper clung to the glowing coals.What could have been written on it?But no. What does it matter now?Feeling dejected, I folded the Ipsen emblem and tucked it back into my chest.***Kirsten fell off a foal in the courtyard.It could’ve been laughable—an almost eight-year-old falling not from a horse, but a foal. Lisbeth sighed long and hard, and Lister’s scowl refused to relax.People sneered that the heir of Glenberg must have inherited none of his mother’s knightly talents. They doubted he carried Glenberg blood at all and wondered whether the succession would be called into question… But since everyone knew how devoted Lister was to his sister, the rumors never spread too far.Kirsten’s riding instructor was severely punished and banished from the estate. Lister himself declared he would teach his nephew to ride. Well… Given that he hadn’t fallen from a horse since he was five, how well he’d be able to teach Kirsten, who was different from him in every way, remained to be seen.Anyway, I was on my way back from the kitchen, where I had gone to get something for poor Kirsten, who was bound to be bedridden after enduring Lister’s grueling riding lessons. I hoped to lift the boy’s spirits with a little treat—honey-soaked dried oranges, his favorite. Lisbeth and the nurses were strict about limiting sweets for fear of his teeth rotting, so my small gift was sure to cheer him up.The cook, without much comment after hearing my request, pulled a large glass jar from the cupboard and filled a lidded porcelain dish with small pieces of orange. I carefully cradled the fragrant dish in my arms and left the kitchen.I was slowly ascending the stairs to the second floor, where Kirsten’s room was located.That’s when I heard footsteps from above.Light, nimble steps.Usually, knights made footsteps like that. And given that Lister was the only knight who roamed the main residence freely, besides Lisbeth, who rarely left her chambers, my body instinctively tensed.But the person descending the stairs wasn’t Lister.It was an unfamiliar face—one I hadn’t expected to see.A man with a stern face stood on the landing a few steps above me.Sunlight filtered through his black hair, creating a glowing halo around him. His dark eyes gazed at me steadily.It was Sir Isyon, Great Commander of Karlac.My body tensed instinctively, and I took a step back. My heel caught on the edge of the stair, causing me to stumble briefly. I nearly dropped the ceramic bowl I was holding.“It’s been a while,” he said, stepping down a few more stairs to stand directly in front of me.A wave of tension prickled up my spine. I lowered my gaze and nodded, hoping desperately that he would just pass by without paying any more attention to me.But he didn’t.“Are you here to see Madam Lisbeth?”“No,” I answered quickly.He hummed thoughtfully, dragging out the sound.“Good news is coming your way soon.”Good news?I glanced up at him without thinking. His impassive face betrayed no emotion, and his dark eyes were so clear that I couldn’t fathom what he was thinking.He met my gaze and spoke again.“Don’t worry. By good news, I mean for you.”“For me?” I echoed.“Yes. Aren’t you curious?”My voice sounded rough, like metal grating against metal, while the Great Commander’s response remained calm and measured.I lowered my head once more. The Great Commander walked past me without another word.I stood frozen on the stairs until the sound of his footsteps faded into silence. Even after he had long gone, it took me a while to relax my stiff shoulders.“Good news, huh?” I muttered to myself.But as the words escaped my lips, an inexplicable sense of dread crept up, causing my fingers to tremble slightly.I felt uneasy.A cold bead of sweat trickled down the back of my neck.Taking a deep breath, I tried to steady my nerves and continued walking.Kirsten’s room was empty. The thick carpeted floor was littered with the wooden toys he had been playing with. I set the orange-filled bowl on the table and started tidying up the scattered toys. One of the toy soldiers had a broken arm loosely wrapped in a haphazard bandage. A faint smile crossed my lips as I picked up the soldier, placing it on my knee while I rewrapped the bandage more securely.When the toys were back in their original positions, a small wooden horse in the center caught my eye. Jiyod had secretly slipped it to me once, taken from Yofius’s shop. I gently ran my fingers over its head before turning to leave the room.I was heading back to my own quarters when I heard footsteps approaching behind me.I turned and saw a familiar face.It was the elderly maid who served Lisbeth. Her normally stern expression had softened slightly, and she looked somewhat relieved.I gave her a puzzled look, and she quickly spoke up.“I was just about to look for you. You’re wanted. Come with me. The lady is asking for you.”“Lisbeth?”“Yes.”Her eyebrow twitched slightly, as if disapproving of the way I referred to Lisbeth without any honorifics. I quickly adjusted my tone.“Why is the lady calling for me?”“I don’t know.”The maid shrugged.“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. She didn’t look upset.”I hesitated for a moment, then followed her, withdrawing the foot I had placed on the first step down.As we approached Lisbeth’s quarters, the familiar smell of herbs and spices filled the air. Thin, wispy silk curtains covered the windows, letting in just enough light to softly illuminate the room. Lisbeth greeted me from her armchair, having risen from the bed.Her face was gaunt, with a sickly green hue clouding her emerald eyes. Dark shadows ringed the whites of her eyes, and her sharp cheekbones stood out more than ever from the weight she had lost.She wore a long-sleeved green robe with a thick woolen gown draped over it, the Glenberg family crest embroidered prominently on her sleeves.She gestured to the chair opposite her, and I sat down.“How are you doing?” she asked.“As well as always. I’m fine.”I smiled as casually as possible, not wanting to worry her.Lisbeth gave me a quiet smile in return.That faint smile made my heart sink.Her face reminded me of a warhorse past its prime—one that could no longer return to the battlefield, aware that it could no longer bear the weight of a saddle.Without thinking, I reached out and placed my hand on hers, resting weakly on the arm of her chair. Lisbeth gazed at me quietly. I stroked her hand gently, hoping that my comfort would somehow reach her.“The maid said you looked better than usual today. When the weather improves, we should take a walk. The zinnias are blooming in the courtyard. If the sandstorms come, they’ll fall, so we should see them before that happens.”“Yes, let’s do that,” Lisbeth responded, her tone casual.I did my best to suppress my growing sense of dread and withdrew my hand.“So, why did you call for me?”“There’s something I need to tell you.”Her voice had a hint of hesitation, making my unease grow.The Great Commander’s cryptic words from earlier suddenly resurfaced in my mind. He had mentioned good news was coming.“…Is it good news?” I asked cautiously.Lisbeth tilted her head slightly, her gaze shifting past me.“That depends on how you see it. I think it is.”“You think so?”What an uncharacteristically vague response from her.I bit my lower lip.She averted her gaze slightly and continued.“Given that the Duke of Karlac is alive and his son has inherited the title of Count Guntram, it’s almost impossible for you to regain your original status and title. However…”Lisbeth fell silent for quite some time.The sense of foreboding grew heavier and larger, filling my chest like a weighty boulder.After a long pause, Lisbeth spoke again.“While it may not be possible to restore your status completely, there is now a way for you to at least escape the status of a slave.”I simply stared at her, my eyes wide. My breath escaped in shallow, gasping sounds between my parted lips, and my chest heaved up and down like that of a pigeon caught in a snare.“W-what way?”It was inevitable that my voice trembled.Lisbeth let out a short sigh.“According to the laws of Karlac, marriage between a noble and a slave cannot be valid. In order to do so, the slave must first be granted the status of a free person.”“Marriage?”“You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”“But…”I couldn’t hide my agitation.Marriage?How could that possibly be an option?Who on earth would be willing to marry me, risking the wrath of the Duke of Karlac, just to restore my status?Unconsciously, I voiced my doubt aloud.“And the Duke of Karlac…?”“He has given his consent.”“W-what?”My voice cracked. My breath quickened, and I couldn’t help but clasp my hands together, nervously licking my dry lips.“You don’t seem too happy about it.”Lisbeth observed my expression closely.I had no idea what kind of face I was making under her scrutiny. Confusion and unease swirled violently in my mind. I shook my head repeatedly, at a loss for words.“I-I don’t… I don’t know what to think.”“The Great Commander came by earlier to inform me. The Duke of Karlac has given his reluctant approval. After all, he can’t keep his nephew as a slave forever, especially now that his son has inherited the title of Count Guntram. Although, I admit, it’s unfortunate for you, Slan.”Her eyes wavered slowly.“You didn’t seriously think you could fully reclaim your original status, did you?”Lisbeth’s voice was calm, but the question was brutal.My eyes stung slightly, and my throat began to feel raw.“That’s not…”I muttered softly.“That’s not what I thought. It’s just…”I struggled to steady my trembling voice.The fact that Lisbeth was talking to me like this meant that many decisions had already been made. There was little I could do…“Who exactly is willing to marry me? What kind of benefactor is this, agreeing to marry a slave?”I couldn’t help the sarcastic tone that crept into my voice.“Even though I no longer have any claim to inheritance, my child would still have a claim to Karlac’s legacy. So, it must be someone very old, someone who cannot bear children. Or… perhaps it’s a man? Whoever it is, they would be insignificant, no doubt. Perhaps a poor noble from some distant province? What did the Duke of Karlac promise them in exchange for taking me off his hands?”“Slan.”This time, she reached out and grasped my hand.Her touch was lukewarm. The warmth made my shoulders tense up involuntarily. I clamped my mouth shut.“I’m sorry. I got carried away.”“No need. It’s understandable.”Lisbeth gazed at me quietly. We held each other’s gaze in silence for a moment.Lisbeth was the first to break the stillness.“You won’t be sent off to some remote countryside, nor will you be banished from Karlac forever. You are still the Duke of Karlac’s nephew, and that remains true regardless of your status. Besides, I care for you deeply, Slan. I will do everything in my power to help you… though I couldn’t prevent this misfortune.”She bent slightly, coughing a few times. There was a restless shuffling outside the door, as if someone was pacing anxiously.“Are you alright, my lady?”It was the concerned voice of her maid. After one last cough, Lisbeth straightened up.“I’m fine. Don’t come in.”I poured more tea into her empty cup instead. The tea was still warm. Lisbeth took a sip, her cracked lips looking pitiful.“Slan.”“Yes?”“You are going to Glenberg.”“Are you planning to return to Glenberg? If you’re thinking about your health, staying in Karlac or moving to Movik Sinen would be better…”Glenberg was slightly south of eastern Karlac but closer to the Grand Canyon, where heavy snow fell. It wasn’t an ideal environment for someone as unwell as Lisbeth.As I hesitantly asked, Lisbeth shook her head.“No, I’m not going.”That response sent a chill of foreboding straight down my spine.“Then…?”“I’ll remain here, Slan. After the wedding, you will go to Glenberg…”“Why would I go to Glenberg?”“Because.”The words that followed barely registered in my ears.It was as if the sound of thousands upon thousands of gnats buzzed around my ears, or like the fierce wind blew from every direction and angle all at once.I shot to my feet.Crash! The sound of the glass cup shattering on the floor echoed.Shards of glass scattered at my feet.“Slan. Sit down.”“No.”“This is the best option. Even Lister agreed…”“No.”I shook my head firmly.“I’d rather live as a slave.”Lisbeth closed her mouth. She stared at me for a few seconds, her gaze then shifting to the side. Instead of lowering her head (for proud knights like her never look at the ground), she tilted it slightly to the side, staring off into space.“…I see. We’ll discuss this matter again.”She took a step back, and only then did I sit down.Unlike her, who kept her head high, my gaze dropped to the floor. I aimlessly stared at the scattered sharp glass shards beneath my feet.“Lisbeth.”I gathered the courage to speak.“This winter… could you take me with you to Movik Sinen?”A brief silence fell.After a moment, Lisbeth let out a soft laugh. It was a gentle sound. I barely managed to lift my head. She was smiling warmly, looking at me with a kind expression.“Of course. I regretted leaving you behind last winter. This year, we’ll definitely go together. Kirsten will be happy to see you too.”Her words reassured me.Leaving Karlac wasn’t something I looked forward to, but I definitely didn’t want to stay behind at the manor with Lister again, like last time. Besides, the suggestion she had made earlier…A cold shiver ran up my spine, and lukewarm sweat trickled down the back of my neck. I clenched my hands into fists on my lap and forced a smile toward Lisbeth.“Thank you.”“You’re welcome.”I tried to tell myself that the eternal snow and hot springs of Movik Sinen would wash away all the confusion, longing, pain, and madness from my mind over the winter. I turned my thoughts in that hopeful direction.I barely remembered how I left her room. When I came to my senses, my steps had unconsciously led me down one of the quieter passageways connecting the main building to the annex. My mind was in turmoil, and it seemed that my subconscious had sought solitude.Alongside the narrow path, lined with small tiles, tall cornflower bushes in a pale shade of purple grew up to shoulder height. I walked slowly, dragging my feet past them.My brain kept replaying the conversation I had just had with Lisbeth.Marriage?A painful mix of anger, sorrow, frustration, and bitterness pounded at my temples.I came to an abrupt stop.Grabbing my chest with one hand, I panted for a long while.Marry and go to Glenberg?With Lister?A weak breath, a cross between a groan of pain and a growl of anger, escaped through my parted lips.My shoulders shook violently.How could Lisbeth even suggest such a thing to me?If she knew what Lister had done to me, she’d never have said that…At that moment, I heard a rustling sound coming from the bend in the path, concealed by the cornflower bushes. A strong wind, carrying the cold scent of the Northern Sea and the dry dust from beyond the Great Mountains, blew through, making the flowers sway and causing the sound of clashing steel to ring out.I instantly tried to turn and run the other way, but I was too late.“Stop right there!”Lister’s furious voice echoed from behind me.Ignoring it, I ran back the way I came, not caring about the pain in my ankle. But within seconds, I felt a rough hand grab my shoulder, yanking me around. Lister stood over me, his face twisted in a scowl.“What, am I a ghost now? You see me and run away?”He sneered.The hand gripping my shoulder throbbed painfully.I twisted, trying to free myself, but his grip didn’t budge. In fact, the more I struggled, the tighter he squeezed. Realizing I couldn’t overpower him, I stopped resisting and glared at him with all the anger I could muster.Apparently, my defiance only irritated him more, as his face grew even more menacing.“Why are you looking at me like that?”“Then gouge my eyes out. Who would care if a slave’s eyes were plucked out?”I spat back.Lister let out a harsh breath, almost like a laugh.“Getting bold just because my sister’s been going easy on you?”“If you’re upset, go whine to Lisbeth.”Lister’s face grew fiercer, and the grip on my shoulder felt like it might crush me. But I refused to show any weakness, so instead of letting out a groan of pain, I gritted my teeth hard.“How long do you think my sister will tolerate you?”“That’s none of your business….”“I know all about how you’re sneaking around again.”He growled, shoving his face close to mine, his green irises flickering. I pressed my lips together and turned my head away to avoid his intense gaze.“Have you forgotten what I said? If you keep acting like this…”Before he could finish, I let out a mocking laugh. As long as Lisbeth was watching over me, Lister’s words were nothing more than empty threats. The nonsense about dragging me to the stables to be bred with a stallion—those were just vile insults he could never follow through on.“You seem confident because of my sister, but let’s see how far that confidence gets you. My sister isn’t coming to Glenberg. Let’s see if you can still hold your head high there.”His words made my mind go completely blank. I turned my head back to look up at Lister. My vision blurred with rage.“Are you insane? I’m not going to Glenberg!”Lister’s lips curled into a sly smirk.“That’s not your decision.”“I told Lisbeth! I told her I wouldn’t go to Glenberg, not even if it kills me! She said she’d reconsider….”“Oh, yes. My sister cares for you, so she’ll reconsider. But it’s obvious what conclusion she’ll reach in the end.”“That’s not true! Lisbeth said she’s taking me to Movik Sinen this winter!”“You’re not going to Movik Sinen.”With that, he grabbed my other shoulder with his free hand, pulling me toward him, leaving me helpless in his grip. Lister leaned down, towering over me, his lips curling into a clear smile.“You’re coming with me to Glenberg. Of course, after we’re married.”“…Are you out of your mind?”I could barely manage to move my lips, but all I could ask was that one question.He was clearly not in his right mind.“Marry a slave? You’d marry someone who can’t even bear you heirs….”“I don’t need heirs.”Lister responded as if it were an annoying inconvenience.“My sister already has three children, and one of them will inherit Glenberg. I have no need to interfere with that. In fact, it’s better if I don’t. It’ll shut the mouths of those noisy fools.”My breathing grew rapid. I shook my head.“The Duke of Karlac would never…”My breaths were shallow and quickening.“The Duke of Karlac would never allow that…”“He wasn’t thrilled about it, no. But even the Duke of Karlac knows….”Lister paused for a moment, then continued.“He knows my sister is unwell, and fools are spreading rumors from all sides. They say that if the master of Glenberg falls ill, her brother will seize the title by eliminating her children and taking her place. The Duke of Karlac doesn’t want Glenberg to fall into chaos.”“Then… are you saying…”“I don’t care about the title.”He continued.“That belongs to my sister. And after her, it’ll belong to one of her children. Glenberg isn’t mine.”His voice was indifferent, but a strange glint flickered in his eyes. His grip on my shoulders tightened painfully for a moment, but when I winced, he loosened it.“I’m not interested in a marriage for heirs, Slan. Do you understand?”“That’s absurd.”“Why is it absurd?”I weakly shook my head.“I won’t marry you… Marrying you would just be another form of slavery.”“Exactly.”He bared his teeth in a grin.“I’m glad to see you understand what life in Glenberg will be like.”Cold, sticky sweat trickled down my back. My fingers trembled, and my knees weakened. My breathing grew ragged, and my chest heaved up and down. Lister patted my shoulders softly a couple of times.“Didn’t I tell you? This is how you’ll live for the rest of your life.”Thunder roared in my ears.I lowered my head.I wished the ground would swallow me up and make me disappear.But the ground beneath my feet was solid, showing no signs of giving way, unlike the sky above my head, which felt like it might collapse at any moment.“Already looking forward to life in Glenberg, aren’t you?”Lister’s sneering laughter echoed around me and slowly faded away.***A homing pigeon, with a letter tied to its leg, flew into Karlac Castle during the period just before a sandstorm. Whatever news that letter had brought to Eastern Karlac, it was enough to stir up unrest in the castle.Rumors spread quietly among the people.It wasn’t until much later that it reached my ears.“They say a war’s about to break out.”“Isn’t it already happening?”“They say the inland regions are in chaos.”Two burly workers, carrying a pig butchered into large pieces, muttered to each other in low voices as they brought it into the kitchen. A heavy hind leg of the pig, its flesh red and raw, slapped down onto the large cutting board. One of the cooks grabbed the ankle with his thick fingers and gruffly responded, holding a gleaming butcher’s knife in his other hand.“What’s all the fuss about when it’s not even our Karlac that’s at war?”“I don’t know, but they say the situation inland is so bad. Haven’t the supplies from that area completely stopped coming?”A woman, wearing a bloodstained apron, slammed a large pot, reeking of raw meat, onto the fire and raised her voice sharply.“Is it true that we’re sending reinforcements to Kirdara?”“I heard horses with the Kirdara crest on their saddles came through the gates early this morning…”