Anime Girls are Moist

"I've been trying my hardest, Mom."

Toyohama Nodoka's voice quavered, laced with a deep sense of grievance.

"But I can't be Mai—she and I are different people…"

"Different?" Her mother suddenly flipped open the album.

"Look at this!"

She turned to another page, pointing at two photos placed side by side.

One showed Sakurajima Mai at fifteen, having just received a newcomer's award.

The other was a promotional shot of Toyohama Nodoka at the same age.

"Same camera angle, same expression, even your hairstyles are identical!"

"The audience can't even tell who's who!"

Staring at the pictures, Nodoka felt a twisting ache in her stomach. That was her mother's carefully orchestrated "Copy Plan"—having her dress, style her hair like Mai, and audition for similar roles.

No matter how much she imitated, the verdict was always the same:

(She has potential, but lacks Sakurajima Mai's natural spark.)

"Why didn't they pick you this time?" her mother asked in a tense, low voice.

"I… I don't know…"

Nodoka choked up on that single sentence.

"This is the second time this month."

Her mother's voice went cold.

"Have you been preparing seriously? Mai at your age has already starred in two dramas."

"I have prepared! I practice every day until late!"

Nodoka lifted her head, tears trembling on the brink of her eyes, her voice shaking with pent-up frustration.

"But the director said my acting lacked soul…"

"Lacked soul?" Her mother let out a scornful laugh, ignoring her daughter's sorrow and vulnerability—her gaze held only stern disapproval.

When Sakurajima Mai withdrew from show business, her mother's attention had shifted entirely to Nodoka. More precisely, to nitpicking Nodoka in hopes she would replace Mai.

In her mother's grand design, Toyohama Nodoka could seize this opportunity to take Mai's place.

"Mai has never been told she 'lacked soul.' Do you know why?"

"Because she has talent. And she's willing to give everything for it."

Every phrase drips with comparisons to Sakurajima Mai—the quintessential "child from another family."

Hearing this made Nodoka feel like a giant weight pressed against her chest, crushing her breath.

It always ended the same: Mai this, Mai that, how flawless Mai was.

Where did that leave Nodoka? What did her own efforts amount to?

Her face contorted with pain as she gripped her hands into tight fists.

"I heard that although Mai quit show business and returned to school, she's still near the top of her class," her mother continued, voice turning uncommonly soft—an inflection reserved for discussions of Mai. Probably she couldn't help wishing Sakurajima Mai were her own daughter.

"With her scores, getting into Todai (Tokyo University) would be a cinch. Even if she never acted again, she'd do well anywhere."

The light in Nodoka's eyes dimmed. How she longed for her mother to talk that way about her—just once. But apparently she could never earn such approval, even though she was the mother's actual daughter.

"Nodoka, are you even listening to me?"

Seeing Nodoka spacing out, her mother's tone abruptly rose.

"You're always like this—distracted! Mai never would—"

Tears overflowed from Nodoka's eyes.

"I'm not Mai! I'll never be her! Why can't you accept the real me?"

Her mother's expression stiffened, then turned icier.

"The real you? What about the real Toyohama Nodoka is worth being proud of?"

"Grades: mediocre. Acting: average. You can't even memorize the simplest dance steps."

"If not for the fact you look like Mai, do you think any agency would have signed you?"

"Enough!"

Nodoka abruptly rose to her feet. The chair scraped the floor with a jarring squeak.

"I'm not my sister! I can never be what she is!"

She screamed through her tears, finally letting loose all she'd repressed.

Her mother looked briefly surprised, then anger replaced it:

"What's with that attitude? I just want you to be as excellent as your sister—I'm doing this for your own good! What's so wrong with that?"

Those words only made Nodoka cry harder, tears pouring in large drops that splashed onto the floor. A wave of dizziness swept her; her mother's accusations jabbed at her like countless needles.

"Wrong is that I'm not her! No matter how hard I try, you'll always see me as second to her!"

She whirled and fled upstairs, stumbling into her room and slamming the door shut behind her, cutting off her mother's shouts.

She flung herself onto the bed.

"Uu…uuu…"

Burying her face in the pillow, tears soaked the fabric.

Just then, her phone screen lit up. She blinked through her tears—it was a message from her manager:

(Nodoka, that show has decided on the role. They chose Satou-san. The director said your acting still felt too stiff…maybe next time.)

"Next time, next time… it's always 'next time'…"

She despairingly tossed her phone aside, curling into a ball. Her room was plastered with Sakurajima Mai's posters and award photos—"inspirational decorations" her mother insisted on. But those smiling faces now only suffocated her.

She stood before the full-length mirror. This face, somewhat resembling Mai's, is never quite as flawless. She was shorter by a few centimeters, her posture less graceful.

"If…if I could become Sakurajima Mai…"

Then she wouldn't have to live in her shadow, wouldn't have to hear comparisons about how "amazing" her sister was. She wouldn't keep failing to meet an impossible standard.

"I wish I could be you, Sis…"

Nodoka pressed her fingertips to the cool mirror, gazing at her reflection in a daze.

Outside, night sank deeper. Exhausted and crying, Nodoka curled up on her bed, eyes drifting shut. In that final moment before sleep overtook her, a burning wish dominated her thoughts:

To become Sakurajima Mai.

Become that beloved, envied genius girl.

Become the daughter her mother could finally be proud of!

~~~

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