ANBU: Card System In Naruto

Hebi turned to look at Kaori,

"You don't have much combat experience, do you? Take the weekend off and try doing some bandit subjugation mission or something, I will cover for ya'. But just this once, alright."

[An Anomaly Detected! A Nara willing to do overtime!]

***

Over the next few days, Kaori settled into a fixed schedule to suit Kushina and Hebi's needs. Her day usually began as early as six in the morning, mainly to report in with the ANBU HQ and to get something to eat.

'This dorm food is shit!'

[Analysis suggests a balanced diet consisting of all the nutrients a Shinobi might need for their day-to-day activity. This is the healthiest meal you can get in the entirety of the Hidden Leaf Village.]

'Still doesn't mean it tastes any better than shit.'

[Speaking from experience, eh?]

'Hah!'

One of the few things that changed was the system, Kushina had been a bad influence on it.

After breakfast was the common training period when members of the ANBU gathered around to train and to try and kill each other... just kidding! It was a common training period with Genin, Chunin, and Special Jonin training each other, Jonin and Elite Jonin didn't really train all that much.

Kaori's partner, Hachidori, grabbed her tanto. Closing in on HER, she growled,

"Hatake Clan Secret Taijutsu!"

Kaori covered her face with her free hand, bracing for impact,

"A trip to heaven!"

Hachidori's target was not her face after all, which meant Kaori could continue fighting! Or not... 

"Gotcha!"

The white-haired woman planted one of her feet between Kaori's legs,

*ARGH!*

Kaori doubled over in pain, glaring at Hachidori from the ground, a vein throbbing on her neck,

"That was a low blow."

Hachidori looked down at her and from those eyes alone, Kaori could see that smug look on her face,

"Hurts doesn't it? The Hatake clan's secret Taijutsu: A trip to heaven! It works on both men and women!"

Kaori faceplanted on the hard floor of the training ground,

'Hatake... what a bunch of weirdos!'

***

By the time her training ended, it was already time for her shift, so she packed a spare set of uniforms and made her way to Kushina's home.

"You're finally here, Suzume-chan!"

This time, it was Hebi,

"You don't know how hard it is keeping watch all night long~"

Kaori's forehead creased in annoyance,

'At least wear your damn clothes before saying stuff like that!'

In her absence, the ANBU Captain had occupied the guestroom and was lying on the bed in her underwear with her mask still on. Suddenly, Kushina burst into the room, a cloth basket in her hand,

"Oi! Hebi-baka, at least wash your clothes instead of stuffing them with my laundry!"

Hebi turned in bed, waving her hand dismissively,

"Ma~ Kushina-chan, think of it as practice for when Minato-san comes to live with. you..."

And! She was out. Sometimes, Kaori wondered how the Naras got the energy to get out of bed at all.

"Ma-a-Minato-san!"

And there goes Kushina as well, one sentence concerning Minato and the Redhead goes in a stupor, well... at least she was better than Hinata in terms of common sense and strength. With a sigh, Kaori headed toward the showers. Training always did leave her feeling a bit sticky.

Kushina, having recovered from Hebi's counter, stared at the two ANBU freeloading off of her with a vein throbbing on her forehead,

"Ya' know... you both are supposed to be protecting me right."

*RUSTLE*

"Yup"

Answered Kaori as she began undressing for a shower, removing her mask and ANBU gear away from the other two's sight.

"Hmm~ yes?"

*YAWN*

This one was Hebi, knowing that her shift had ended, she began preparing for her day with a nice, long yawn and a seductive pull of her lazy yet fit body.

In the end, Kushina's berating has zero effect on one who has seen the Village's Leader peek at girls in the Hot-Springs with a straight face and one she had invited to stay at her place.

*SIGH*

"Alright,"

She sighed defeatedly and made her way over to the kitchen.

"I made fried rice for breakfast."

***

Kaori stared at Hebi, waiting for the half-naked ANBU Captain to finally reveal her face while eating, but instead of chopsticks, that lazy woman used her clan's shadow-style ninjutsu!

"Shadow Grasping Jutsu!"

A strand of darkness from her shadow materialized and merged with that of a spoon on the table,

"Yay~"

*BANG*

"DON'T USE YOUR JUTSU TO EAT YOU IDIOT!"

Kaori watched with bored eyes, the recurring scene she had seen one too many times over the past week or so since she had been stationed under Hebi. With a sigh, she tilted her head as a stray pea whizzed past her. 

"Captain Hebi can I take you up on that favor."

The Nara tilted her head back from within Kushina's grasp as the redhead was trying to choke the lazy out of her,

"Today!? With this madwoman?"

Kushina growled,

"What did you just say!?"

Kaori had come to a sudden realization a day or two back when, strangely enough, she found herself aroused by Hebi's naked body. Of course, once she had looked away, the lazy Nara had tried even more provocative moves only to get pummeled by Kushina. But that experience had been enough to tell her something...

[You still haven't completely accepted the fact that all this is real.]

'Who would?'

[A surprisingly large number actually.]

'Heh.'

With the maturity of age comes the disillusionment of the mind. There's no such thing as being 'Isekai-d,' pipe dreams of being reborn in some sort of fiction, having a great destiny, or having power beyond the wildest dreams... 

[But that's exactly what happened to you right?]

'Who knows? Maybe I have a rare mental illness that's causing me strange hallucinations. If I kill someone and that person turns out to be a WcDonald's worker?'

[Paranoia. Escaping Reality... that stuff is my cousin, the gamer system's, specialty. Guess you would have to suck it up and make do with killing WcDonald's workers]

'Hmm...'

"Hello! Hello, Konoha to Kaori-onee!"

Kushina was just inches away from her face... maybe, just maybe...

"Hm. Naughty~ Naughty~"

Hebi giggled, completely ruining the prank that Kushina was about to pull on Kaori.

"PUT ON SOME CLOTHES BEFORE SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!!!"

*BANG!*

"Anyway,"

Her expression did a 180 degree in an instant,

"A solo mission, huh? Sounds fun! Just make sure to take care of yourself and don't forget to bring souvenirs?"

Kaori grimaced,

"Souvenirs? From Bandits?"

Just what was wrong with this girl's head?

Kushina shrugged,

"You never know. They might have stolen something interesting."

Kaori sighed, wondering what went on inside the redhead's head. She quickly finished her breakfast and borrowed a set of plain clothes,

"You know, I thought as an ANBU you would have a couple of civilian clothes at the very least!"

"My bad."

Half an hour later, Kaori found herself standing before the Hokage, the old man looked as though he had just aged a couple more years over the past week. Worse of all, he seemed to have gone into a nicotine overdrive, puffing from his pipe faster than a fuckin' steam engine. The room was full of smoke and she even spotted an ANBU desperately trying to cover his face while trying to stay hidden,

"So, Hebi wants you to help out with the ANBU missions we have piling up, huh?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen mused, stroking his freshly pruned goatee,

"I'm sure we can arrange something."

With that, he began rummaging through the pile of scrolls littered across his office. At the end of the minute, he had seven scrolls stacked before him,

"Let me see, hmm~"

Kaori waited silently, secretly wishing the old man wasn't going to assign her some assassination or infiltration missions. That would be such a drag...

"Well, I assume a change in scenery won't hurt would it?"

He smirked calculatingly,

'What's he up to now!?'

In an instant, Hiruzen stamped seven mission scrolls one after the other, 

"There we go! Seven missions. One D-rank, Five C-rank, and One B-rank."

....*AHO!* *AHO!* *AHO!*...

'DON'T HOLD ME BACK! LET ME KILL 'EM!!!'

[I'M NOT!]

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