ANBU: Card System In Naruto

The harsh sunlight of the early morning couldn't penetrate the ANBU dormitories, whatever little light that managed to flicker through holes and gaps in the wall was of little comfort and more annoyance. 

Kaori groaned, pulling a pillow above her head to block out the noise of early morning training. She had spent the previous day suffering from intense pain and mind out, so much so that she could barely remember anything at all.

But there was one thing she remembered quite clearly: a slight prickling sensation on her back when Hachidori helped her up.

'System, do you think what I am thinking?'

[Negative. The system can process quintillions of thoughts at the same instance. Unlike your limited thinking capacity, the system has already considered the possibility that the individual 'Hachidori' has extracted a vial of your blood and reported the findings to your leader. The most likely outcome is that 'she' would now be observing you intently.]

'I don't need to have a quintillion thoughts to figure that out!'

The Aburame's bugs were a bit annoying, and Captain Fukurō's gaze felt creepy, but she had already known that her transformation jutsu would be spotted from a mile away, quite literally the case with the Hyuga. 

Still, it was quite a surprise to know that it was Hachidori who approached her, only an idiot wouldn't notice someone draw their blood with a hollowed-out senbon of all things. Kaori had kept quiet when the Kakashi rip-off took her blood while pretending to help her sit up and make her comfortable.

Admittedly she was a bit flustered at first but she took the gamble anyway, lady luck has always been in her favour, even in her past life. 

[*The system that did all the calculations and pointed out that particular course of action.* Uh-huh? Sure...]

*KNOCK*

Someone knocked on the door, after having already entered the room beforehand,

"Not a morning person, I see."

Who else would it be, if not Hachidori herself? The treacherous Vice-Captain that only pretends to help and takes blood samples from your arse... well, from her back really, but it won't hurt to badmouth her a little.

"I didn't say you could come in."

The Kakashi rip-off merely snorted,

"I am your acting captain, I have the keys to every single one of your lot's dormitories. Not to mention I am a Jonin, and it's not like you can stop me if I want to enter by force."

'This woman!'

[She's not wrong you know.]

'Shut up!'

Another day, another reminder that power is the true dictator of this strange world!

"So... breakfast?"

"Orders,"

Hachidori cut down her expectations faster than she could say 'Fire Style,'

"You have to fill in for Captain Hebi. She's out on the Hoshigakure mission."

Kaori raised an eyebrow, wiping her face with a wet towel, she muttered,

"And I suppose this meeting is not just an 'ANBU of the month' party, eh?"

Hachidori looked at her incredulously,

"How the hell did you know that?"

So they do host an 'ANBU of the month' contest, huh? Good to know.

"No, that's not it. Captain Hebi is... well... she's the one in charge of guarding the Kyuubi's Jinchūriki, and since she and her squad had already been deployed abroad, you will have to fill in for her."

[Basically, a meeting of the highest order. It seems illogical to invite you, who is under suspicion of being a spy.]

'Well, maybe they think I am not..."

[Are you sure?]

'No.'

As she pulled on her uniform, she couldn't help but marvel at the Uzumaki clan's healing factor. Just the previous day she was twitching in pain and today she was fit as a bull... not a bull, but maybe something a bit more elegant?

"Have I got time to grab a quick bite?"

Hachidori glared at her, amusement and irritation flickering in her eyes,

"What do 'YOU' think?"

Kaori shrugged,

"I probably don't."

She pulled on her mask, effectively hiding her identity and just as she was about to walk out of the room, a hand grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back in,

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kaori stared at her in puzzlement,

"What?"

Hachidori shook her head in bewilderment,

"Use the transformation jutsu! We don't want everyone to think you dyed your hair or something!"

'So the Hokage's considering keeping me a secret, huh? Interesting.'

She made the ram hand sign,

'Partial Transformation Jutsu.'

A puff of smoke later, she was back to how she once looked.

"There, now can I go?"

It was a strange feeling, but Kaori felt as though she was fast becoming friends with this Kakashi-ripoff. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all,

"You did look a bit plain before, didn't you?"

Kaori felt her eyes twitch,

'I take back what I said, I hate this woman.'

With a sigh, she made her way to the briefing room, which was somehow located even deeper within the ANBU HQ. Reaching well below the level of even the village itself were the archives. mortuary, and main offices of the ANBU Black Ops.

The archives held secrets that must never see the light of day again, secrets well guarded by the surveillance corps. As for the mortuaries, they were intended for enemy shinobi, to study their corpses and decipher their secrets.

The ANBU does not need a mortuary, after all, their code was to leave no corpse behind. In case an ANBU member dies or is injured beyond all help, they use the 'Body Elimination Jutsu' to burn their bodies to ashes.

[Talk about edgy.]

'Did you say anything?'

[No.]

**Briefing Room**

Kaori entered the briefing room, and at once, felt a swarm of eyes lock onto her, judging her every move and preparing to eliminate her at a moment's notice. She did not doubt that if she so much as twitched wrongly, her head would fly faster than she could say 'Oops.'

The room was bare, with some sort of bamboo matting like those old Japanese Samurai movies, and twelve mats placed at equal distances, one on each end of the rectangle they formed. For some reason, most of the occupants seemed to be keeping their distance from the innermost mat... well, at least they saved a seat for her.

Kaori didn't bow or greet anyone, for the duration of that meeting alone, she was the one representing Captain Hebi, who stood on the same level as the rest of the room's occupants.

As she sat down, she couldn't help but notice the middle-aged man sitting next to her,

'Well, maybe I should socialize a little.'

Kaori turned to greet her neighbor,

"Hel...*HUCK!**COUGH**COUGH*COUGH*"

And broke down in a fit of coughing.

'Guess who he is?'

[...*Sigh* Who is he?]

'The fabled one-eyed mummy himself!'

The old bastard sat like he owned the place, with his legs folded under him while keeping a keen eye on every occupant of the room.

It didn't take long for Kaori's coughing to draw his attention,

"Perhaps,"

He began in a long, drawn-out voice,

"You require medical attention, Suzume of the surveillance corps."

'You need attention, you old eye collector! Mental attention!'

He continued without bothering to wait for Kaori's answer,

"Then again, your clan is known for their monstrous vitality. Perhaps it is merely a cup of tea that you require?"

He smiled... that creepy old bastard smile and Kaori felt her nerves tingle as warning bells went off in her head.

'Back off you evil spirit! Back off!'

[Perhaps you should throw salt at it? My database suggests that it works.]

'I don't have any on me!'

"Or perhaps you haven't been informed of your clan yet. Would you like me to..."

*EHEM*

Thankfully, the ANBU Commander decided to begin the meeting before Danzo could corner Kaori.

"Let us begin."

He gave a crisp nod of his head and members of the ANBU emerged out of the darkness and placed differently colored scrolls in front of each seated member before disappearing again.

Danzo got a black scroll... must be the ANBU Commander's way of saying you ain't welcome here, or it might just be fate playing fair and sending him a scroll that best described his life. 

Not like Kaori had anything better, she got a bright crimson-colored one. Not ominous at all...

"Today's first agenda, the security details of Uzumaki Kushina, the Jinchuriki of the Nine-tailed fox."