An Unexpected Proposal

March 26, 2020
Alicia gripped the ornament tightly, as if it were her last lifeline, and stared straight at Cabelenus.
The chance to take his life while he was caught off guard after a night together was already gone.

There was no need to accept his embrace anymore.
And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to refuse him.
She knew she was doing something meaningless, yet she couldn’t stop.

Cabelenus wasn’t the only one who was curious.
Alicia, too, was curious about him.
The foreign man who refused to kill her constantly left her with unanswered questions.

"I won’t regret this."
If she was going to die anyway, she might as well confirm this one thing before she did.
As soon as she spoke in a cautious, trembling voice—her lips were consumed.

"Hngh—"
I’m being devoured.
Why did that thought cross her mind at that moment?

Alicia desperately clung to his clothing, her fingers digging into the fabric.
The sensation of her lips being bitten and ravaged overwhelmed her, but she had no way to escape.
His fingers tangled in her hair, refusing to let her flee.

As the heat blurred her thoughts into a hazy daze, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.
A chilling sensation trailed down her spine, making her entire body tremble.
***
When Alicia opened her eyes, dawn had already arrived.

She slowly blinked, her gaze falling on the firm arm draped over her.
The man sleeping before her still didn’t feel real.
But it wasn’t an illusion.

She had spent the night with him.
The memories of being pushed to her limits over and over were still too vivid to forget.
It hurts.

She tried to slip out of his grasp, only to let out a shallow breath.
Once, this level of pain had been nothing to her.
But now, after so long, she had grown unaccustomed to it.

How ridiculous.
Alicia let out a small sigh before carefully extricating herself from his embrace.
Her entire body ached as if she had been beaten, but staying in his arms was worse.

His naturally higher body temperature made his embrace feel unbearably warm and comfortable.
She grimaced, looking down at Cabelenus.
She had seen his face countless times before.

But this was the first time she had observed him this closely.
"Everyone calls the Wolf of Schwarhan a monster…"
But under the pale moonlight, he looked too beautiful to be real.

It was hard to believe that this was the monster whose very name sent people into terror.
"Honestly… he’s too pretty to be a monster."
Hesitantly, Alicia reached toward his face.

She didn’t have the courage to touch him, keeping her hand just a breath away.
Even after having been held in his arms, the thought of touching his bare skin still embarrassed her.
"Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche."

She murmured his name so softly that even a breath could scatter it.
A name that a slave had no right to speak.
But just once, she wanted to say it while looking at his face.

She wanted to see what kind of expression he would make when she called his name.
Her fingers hovered over his eyes, his nose, his lips.
Then, she froze.

She had thought she wouldn’t regret dying.
But somehow, the thought of never seeing this face again made her throat tighten.
She bit her lip, trying to hold back the sob that threatened to spill out.

It was strange.
She had believed she had no lingering attachments after deciding to die.
But being with him made her want things.

The warmth she had longed for—he was the one giving it to her.
The man who had destroyed her homeland.
Unable to suppress the emotions rising inside her, Alicia covered her face with both hands.

But no matter how hard she pressed her palms against her eyes, the tears wouldn’t stop.
"No. I can’t do this. If I let this continue, I’ll start wanting things I can’t have."
She wiped her tears away with trembling hands.

Her gaze landed on the ornament she had failed to use the night before.
She hesitated before picking it up.
She knew for certain now.

This man wouldn’t kill her.
And no one else would dare to defy him.
If she truly wanted to end her life, she would have to do it herself.

"…I’m sorry."
Who was that apology for?
With tear-filled eyes, Alicia whispered to herself and twisted the jewel on the ornament.

A sharp blade flicked out.
She pressed the tip against her throat and closed her eyes tightly.
The poison would make it quick.

But her hand wouldn’t move.
She was afraid.
She could no longer be indifferent to death.

Staring down the blade, she realized it with painful clarity.
"Why now? What would change if I kept living?"
If she hesitated any longer, all the feelings she had locked away would be exposed.

Her grip tightened around the weapon.
Her entire body trembled, but she forced her hand to move.
Then—

With a sudden motion, her body was thrown backward.
Alicia landed on the bed with a soft thud and blinked in shock.
The man who had supposedly been asleep was now looming over her.

"I thought you might try this. You really were about to kill yourself."
Cabelenus ground his teeth as he glared down at her.
And despite knowing it was a contradiction—despite knowing it was foolish—Alicia was glad she hadn’t died.

She laughed softly.
"Are you smiling?"
His voice was a deep growl, heavy with restrained fury.

The raw menace in his gaze made him look more beast than man.
And yet, in that moment, Alicia wasn’t afraid of him.
She was relieved.

"Don’t even think about it. You will never die."
The man who held onto her meaningless life—
Alicia looked up at him, her expression crumpling into something between laughter and tears.

Seeing his face again made the tears she thought had dried up start flowing once more.
And she realized—she never truly wanted to die.
***

"Eat more."
At his cold command, Alicia reluctantly picked up her spoon again.
She had thought he wasn’t paying attention, but he immediately noticed when she tried to put her utensils down.

"I’m already full."
"You can eat at least one more bite. Eat."
"But…"

"The physician says you’re not eating enough. You need to slowly increase your intake to regain your strength."
Cabelenus still wasn’t looking at her as he spoke.
Alicia glanced at him warily before forcing herself to take another bite of soup.

Ever since her suicide attempt, Cabelenus had rarely left her alone.
"I won’t do it again."
"What?"

"I won’t… try to die again."
Alicia trailed off, lowering her head.
Even mentioning death made Cabelenus’s gaze turn sharp, making it impossible to continue.

"I saved the life you threw away. That means it’s mine now."
His golden eyes gleamed dangerously.
He was still furious.

"I…"
How could she ease his anger?
Alicia hesitated.

Even if she said she wouldn’t try again, he wouldn’t believe her.
There were no more blades in her room, and she was constantly watched whenever he wasn’t with her.
"Don’t even think about it. If I see a single drop of your blood, the people you wanted to protect will bleed instead."

A chill ran down her spine at his low warning.
He meant every word.
He was no merciful savior.

Alicia silently forced down the rest of her soup.
Food no longer had any taste.
Then again, she had never truly enjoyed mealtime in the first place.

Cabelenus always had lavish meals prepared for her, but he himself only ate simple sandwiches while working.
She listlessly stirred her soup with her spoon.
If he ate with me, maybe I’d eat more…

But he only ever focused on his documents.
"A jeweler will be coming today."
"I saved the life you threw away. That means your life belongs to me now."

Cabelenus’s golden eyes glinted.
He was still furious.
"I…"

How could she calm his anger?
Alicia hesitated, lips slightly parted, but no words came.
Even if she promised not to try again, he wouldn’t believe her.

There were no longer any weapons in her room, and whenever she wasn’t with him, someone was always watching her.
"Don’t even think about it. If I see so much as a drop of your blood, the people you wanted to protect will bleed instead."
A cold shiver ran down her spine at his low, threatening tone.

He meant every word.
He wasn’t some merciful savior.
Silently, Alicia forced herself to swallow the remaining spoonfuls of soup.

Since the night of her suicide attempt, food had lost all flavor.
Not that it had ever tasted like much before.
Even at mealtimes, she was the only one who truly ate.

Cabelenus always had an extravagant meal prepared for her, but he himself only had simple sandwiches while working.
She mindlessly stirred the soup with her spoon.
Maybe if he ate with her, she would eat more.

But eating in front of a man who never looked away from his paperwork made every bite feel tasteless.
"A jeweler will be coming today."
"But you already bought jewelry last time."

"It doesn’t matter. Buy more. Eventually, you’ll find something you like."
Cabelenus was generous when it came to giving her things.
Every day, he had new clothes tailored for her and more jewels delivered.

"…Neuschwein is a poor land."
She wasn’t knowledgeable about gems, but she could estimate how much they cost.
Spending a fortune on dresses she wouldn’t wear and jewelry she didn’t need was pure extravagance.

"I know. Years of poor harvests left the treasury depleted, and people starved just outside the capital. This war cost more than it gained. The money and supplies Schwarhan is funneling into Neuschwein just for reconstruction are already a loss."
Cabelenus flipped through his documents as he spoke, his tone indifferent.
"Then shouldn’t you avoid wasting money on jewelry?"

"Neuschwein is poor. I’m not."
His response was as firm as if the discussion wasn’t worth entertaining.
Schwarhan, despite being considered part of the empire, was wealthier than most independent nations.

A fallen kingdom like Neuschwein, which had barely managed to keep its name on the map, couldn’t even compare.
Worrying over a few jewels was ridiculous.
"Your Grace…"

Alicia started to speak but quickly pressed her lips shut.
She had almost made a mistake.
A slave had no right to argue with her master.

"If you have nothing else to say, finish your meal. You won’t be leaving that seat until the soup is gone, no matter how much you complain."
"…Yes."
She gave up resisting and obediently nodded.

Even if Cabelenus treated her differently from others, she wouldn’t let herself be deceived.
No matter how it was dressed up, their relationship was never going to be equal.
And because of that, the ending was already decided.

If she wanted to hold on to this fleeting peace for even a moment longer, she had to quietly accept the boundaries he had set.
***
"…So, you don’t like jewelry after all?"

Only after Alicia had emptied her bowl did Cabelenus break the silence.
"What?"
The sudden question made her frown slightly.

He still hadn’t lifted his gaze from his documents, so she wasn’t even sure if she had heard him correctly.
"I asked if you dislike jewelry."
"That’s…"

"Don’t hesitate. Answer properly."
"No, I don’t dislike it. It’s just…"
"Just?"

His golden eyes flickered toward her, piercing through her.
Alicia swallowed dryly.
He had only looked at her, and yet her mind felt tangled.

"I just don’t think it suits me."
"It doesn’t suit you?"
"Of course, the jewels are beautiful. But… they don’t suit me."

Under his unrelenting stare, even forming simple sentences felt like walking on thin ice.
Alicia clenched her eyes shut, silently wishing for this awkward meal to end.
But even with her eyes closed, she could feel his gaze on her.

Eventually, she gave in and opened them again.
"That’s all?"
"What?"

"You made that face just because you think jewelry doesn’t suit you?"
Cabelenus’s lips curled slightly, as if something had displeased him.
"Because it’s true."

Alicia forced a small, awkward smile.
"You’re still a terrible liar."
"…"

"I don’t like people beating around the bush. Just say it. Tell me the truth."
His demand was simple, but for Alicia, it wasn’t.
Back when she had resigned herself to death, she had been reckless, unafraid to speak her mind.

But now, things were different.
Now, she wanted to live.
And because of that, she couldn’t afford to be careless.

But Cabelenus wasn’t the kind of man to give up.
In the end, she surrendered.
"I don’t know."

"You don’t know?"
"I still can’t believe it."
Alicia smiled faintly, avoiding his gaze.

Even though so much had changed, she still felt like she was wearing a life that didn’t belong to her.
She understood her place well.
Even if they shared meals, even if they shared a bed, even if she received all these gifts, she was still a slave.

Everything she had now wasn’t truly hers.
The moment his interest waned, it would all vanish like an illusion.