An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon.

There were many colourful words to describe pain. Agonising, overwhelming, terrifying, scarring, blinding…. They were all just measly shadows of what I experienced after waking up. A smith hammering on your brain felt like a mild headache compared to what I had to endure. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even hear or see. The only things present were the pain in my head, a slithering feeling of molten fire on my back and the weird tingling of a third tail.

After suffering for what felt like an eternity, the pain became somewhat bearable. I, at least, could concentrate on something despite my martyrdom. I wasn't alone, low murmurs of a conversation reached my ears. I tried to open my eyes which turned out to be a really bad idea. Light seared my retinas and I immediately retched up coagulated clumps of blood and bile. That shut everyone up quite effectively.

I couldn’t see, but I had heard my dad and dr. Hofffox talking and my mum was close by, holding my head while I vomited like there was no tomorrow. The musky fragrance of my brothers tickled my nose and I could smell Ahri’s flowery scent. When I concentrated on her I could hear quiet sniffles.

After I heroically banished everything from my stomach, I slowly sat up and tried to orientate my self without opening my eyes. Moving my small hands around I touched a fluffy tail and directly clung to it.

My mum hugged me tightly from behind: “Oh Cassy, you’re awake. Does it still hurt very much? Dr. Hofffox says you’ll be alright. Don’t fret, everything’s fine, you’re safe! Don’t cry, baby, please don’t cry! I’m here, everyone is here. Come on, Cassy, look at me.” I felt her gentle fingers brush the tears off my face, I slowly faced her and tried to open my eyes. My vision was blurry and my headache spiked once again but I managed. I saw my mom’s anguished face but a small smile sprang to her lips as soon as my gaze met hers. Behind her, a starry sky shimmered through a high window.

We weren’t in our room. This looked like an infirmary, probably the same one i had been born in. A heavy hand landed on my head and I heard my dad rasp: “I’m so glad you are okay!” He tousled my hair and joined our embrace. While I slowly regained my bearings everybody present made sure that I was alive and hadn’t lost any integral body parts. They all insisted on touching my newly-sprouted tail but everyone’s hands stayed well away from my upper back. That is, everyone’s but Mordred’s. He swiftly brushed over my shoulder blades while patting my back. I even felt a small twinge but didn’t think too much about it.

When they were done feeling me up, Dr.Hofffox ushered them out: “She’s fine but needs rest. You can visit her again tomorrow, but now she needs sleep.”

My mum stayed with me and while the last tail swept out of the door she pulled me close again and started singing quietly. I didn’t know the lullaby, but her low voice and warm embrace carried me to sleep within moments.

“You saw the destruction wrought in the throne room. No child can do that! She can’t even talk yet… Have you lost your mind?!”

It’s a general misconception that leads parents to believe their child couldn’t or wouldn’t follow an argument just because it was held in a low voice. Especially if the child in question has fox ears….

I woke up hungry. That had to be a good sign. At first I thought my hunger had woken me, but after a second I focused on my parents’ voices. They were talking quietly but to me it felt like they were speaking normally right beside my ear.

“We all lost consciousness when the Furglows entered. And when we woke up, they had been miraculously killed, the room was in shambles and our daughter’s back was glowing. Glowing, Helena! And even Dr.Hofffox can’t feel her life force anymore. Look me in the eye and tell me that you seriously believe that those things are not connected!”

“We checked Albert, we checked the room and her, thrice! She didn’t use any form of energy, unless you’re implying our two-year old is a soul master?! Thought not. So what, the Furglows used an artefact and ended up killing themselves. Not the first time something like that happened.”

“And her back?! It’s still glowing and those lines look alive. I swear I even saw them retracting into her when I woke up. By the Great Fox! She is our daughter, we can’t protect her if we don’t know what’s wrong.” He took a deep breath. “Please, just let me take her to the testing. She’ll have to go anyway once she turns 7. We can make sure that there is … nothing wrong with her.”

I felt the temperature in the room dropping as my mum replied icily: “nothing wrong with her?! She nearly died and you want to check if she is some kind of freak? Get out, now!”

“Helena, I didn’t mean….”

“Out! Get out!”

I heard the quiet shuffling of feet and the even quieter but determined voice of my father from the door: “I will take her, whether you like it or not. It’s my responsibility as one of the five rulers.”

My mum’s response was nearly indiscernible over the closing door but the cold in her voice made my fur tingle: “If you shun your responsibility as a father to act like a king, you won’t be a father for much longer.” Good fucking times…

Over the next two days I made a full recovery. My headache subsided after another good night’s sleep. My mum stayed with me all the time. After the first night, my maid pushed two camp beds into the room, one for my mum and one for herself. Ahri was a slender kitsune with white fur and four tails. She was extremely pretty, even by kitsune standards, with large, almond shaped eyes that shone in a deep green, like an emerald or a forest pond under the midday sun. She wore a wide kimono, black silk with green embroidery. I knew she had two long knives buried in her arm sleeves and her charming smile hid one of the most capable spell slingers I knew. Seriously, how did she end up as a maid?

While I rested on my sickbed, the two of them talked like old friends:

“Seriously, Ahri, you never noticed anything strange when she was younger? I don’t know, strange glowing lines on her back during the night or maybe an energy fluctuation in her presence?”

“Helena, you spent as much time with her as me. Probably even more. Now tell me honestly, did you think your daughter would be anything other then exceptionally pretty when she would be all grown up”

“No” my mother mumbled. “I never felt any energy react to her. I was afraid she would be one of the first kitsune born without a gift. But this? I read some of the old records over the last two nights. I couldn’t find anything that would explain even a part of this mess. Awakening to a power is not unheard of, but it shouldn’t be that destructive nor does it explain how she could resist the Furglows’ spell.”

“Hmm, there is this legend… when I was exiled and had to flee the north, I travelled on a sky ship that belonged to an eccentric dwarf, you might even call him stir-crazy. Anyway, he was big on everything concerning meta-physics and the origin of our world. One of his favourite topics were creation-myths. He was pretty sure that there was a reason why every myth held a core of good and evil, fighting for control. He thought those myths were all based on the same war, repeated endlessly in the stories of different cultures. The war of the beginning. Angels against demons. Good vs. Evil.

My mum chuckled: “are you trying to tell me that you think my little girl is some kind of devil? Please don’t, I got enough of that from her father.”

“You misunderstand, demons always appear with horns and angels… they have wings formed of the very essence of this world. But that’s not the point. What I want to say is: this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. She might not be an angel, but she is something special. Just let her go to the testing. I’m sure she won’t fail. So are you. You know her as well.” Her words seemed to ease my mum’s mind and they soon talked about the newest court-gossip. I didn’t listen. Ahri’s story sparked a train of memories…

I flew high above the clouds, the stars just out of reach and the land below turning dark with the setting sun. To my right, the love of my life flew on fiery wings. My left hand held my trusted spear. We were on a pretty old world, magic and science had been developed for centuries and most problems of young civilisations caused by limited resources had been eliminated. Magical science had reached its peak, bringing fortune and power. Unfortunately power has a tendency to corrupt individuals and societies alike.

So instead of peacefully advancing their knowledge, they had started to conquer other planets and kill off entire species. When they had managed to kill and harvest one of the few star-whales left in existence, a race revered by the angels for their wisdom and kindness, the heavens had to intervene. That was why me and my partner were winging towards their capital, shrouded from mundane and magical eyes alike. Righteous anger burned in my heart and I felt ready to dish out fiery retribution.

A black mesa loomed in the distance. With a thought I pushed energy from my wings into my eyes. The world lit up in a myriad of colours. Aurora glowed in the brightest gold where as the mountain before us shone in blues, reds and yellows. A greenish bubble protected it from all sides. With another thought I wrapped my wings tightly around Aurora and cut a hole through space. Materialising behind the green bubble we waited for an alarm that never came.

Taking a deep breath, I released Aurora but held her tight with my arms. Looking deep into her eyes I whispered: “May the father protect you.” Our lips touched a she shimmered out of my field of vision. Her camouflage on me would break soon, there was no time to lose. I tightened my left hand around the heft of my spear and unfurled my wings. Those puny mortals had no idea what was coming…

With a loud crack I snapped the neck of the last guard. At least the last ones had bones I could break. The soldiers before all were some form of amorphous jelly, babbling about how they were “made for this” while I burned their bodies to ash.

My wings conducted enough force for me to float above the ground and not care about the electrical currents raging through the floor and walls. Someone must have activated the defence mechanisms. The remains of my last victims evaporated and the tunnel walls around me started to glow faintly red. I continued deeper into the mesa. After around 200 meters the tunnel ended in front of a massive black gate. Hmm, etherium… spared no expenses, huh? With a push two blue-silver energy currents sank into the door and after a second molten metal oozed to the ground. After 5 seconds passed the deformed gate broke out of its hinges and slammed to the floor. I stepped through and finally found my prey.

In a circular chamber, deep within the mesa, I was faced with over 50 impressive automatons and a humanoid creature clad in a massive exoskeleton. Greenish light flowed between an implanted core in his chest and a crown on his head. Magical tethers connected the crown with every automaton and a multitude more just vanished into the walls and ceiling. As soon as the door dropped he ordered: “Fire!”

I closed my wings before me instantaneously. Magical beams exploded and projectiles melted as soon as they touched the curtain of energy in front of me. Unfortunately inertia carried the molten lumps of metal further and they splattered across my torso. Damn, that was painful!

Using a fraction of energy from my core I closed my wounds, and took a step forward into the hailstorm of beams and bullets. No point in being subtle I guess. Pushing out with everything I had I formed a glowing bluish-silver sphere around me. It expanded slowly swallowing projectiles and magic alike. Like an avalanche it kept on going, leaving behind burned air and the sizzling of molten metal. When it touched the first automaton its circuits were fried and the magic binding its spirit to its casing evaporated. All that remained was a lifeless husk that toppled over and was swallowed by my sphere.

After the first automaton went down, an energy pulse from the crown reached the rest. 10 formed a protective barrier in front of their lord and the rest started to glow ominously. Oh oh…

With a loud bang they detonated. Energy and magic couldn’t harm me, but the shockwave and debris was enough to skin my face and chest. I dropped to my knees, nearly passing out from the pain. I needed time to heal, but heavy footsteps in front of me made me realise that I wouldn’t get it. No matter, blinded, wounded and seriously pissed I wrapped his exoskeleton in energy to ignite his body, soul and spirit. In hindsight that was a mistake.

As soon as my transcendent energy touched his armour, hidden runes all over him and all around the room lit up. My energy was siphoned off, I became a glorified battery! Fine, let’s dance!

I released torrents of power on a far wider scale than before. Burning columns of silvery fire raced out of me and targeted the runes. When mortal ingenuity and heavenly might collided there was only one way it could go.

The explosion was impressive, if I do say so myself.

Picking myself out of the rubble, I gingerly touched my face. I was badly wounded but I would heal. That was more than I could say for the bastard in his ruined armour. He was still breathing but that would change soon. I didn’t even have to encourage him anymore. He was knocking on the gates of infinity all by himself. Two ruptured lungs, a few open fractures and a metal sliver in your stomach can do that to you. I slowly limped over to watch his final moments. That was the killer of one of my friends. I should feel elated or maybe fulfilled but I felt more empty than ever before.

Dropping to one knee I lifted the helm-like crown from his head. The pale face of a young woman stared back at me. That wasn’t the face of a scrupulous person who killed star-whales for gains. Her eyes were…innocent. After several billions of years you become quite good at judging those things.

“What happened?” I rasped. My vocal cords were still regenerating.

“Shouldn’t you have asked that sooner? Before you killed my friends and me, for example?”

“I…I didn’t…I was told…” I could only stammer. She was right.

“What do you even want, what did we ever do to you?!”

“You killed a star-wha…” A choking laughter cut me short.

“Oh, that’s rich. Fine, let me tell you who killed that whale. And now I even know why…”

She talked until her heart gave out. By the end, I was holding her in my arms and apologised over and over again to her cooling body. Why couldn’t I heal others for the life of me? What had I become? The instrument of a power-hungry and blind psychopath? There was only one angel who could answer my questions. And by god, Michael, I hoped for your sake your answers would be satisfying.

When I came to, mum and Ahri were still chatting. Someone had brought tea, I could smell peppermint. My heart was racing and cold sweat covered my brow. Who am I? My heart sped up even more, who was Aurora?

I didn’t know but I felt a longing, deep down. I had to find her.

And to do that, I had to find out more about myself. Was I an angel? What had happened to me? Who was Michael? I needed answers. And to get them, I needed this bloody useless body to move!