An Angel’s Road to Hell

Xorlosh Mcmine

Buraahrumm! It was good to be alive, a song on me lips, me brothers beside me and the love of me life, BigBertha tightly in me fist. March, dwarfs of the mines, March! To slaughter and glory!

“Matey, Hit the drum, it’s time to dance!” Etosh, me little brother, pummelled the black drum, made of dragon hide, strapped to his front and all of us 121 dwarfs formed a neat square just outside the garden.

121 bodies clad in steel and mithril, each about 1.4 meters tall and weighing at 150 kgs, hit their weapons together and the pure noise of metal hitting metal resounded around me. The drafts from the fires in front tussled black, red and brown beards and together we stepped forward, shaking the earth while our song rose to the heavens. Ahh, and I had already been afraid to die of boredom.

I had come here for the mithril and because I might or might not have hit on the wrong gal back home. But these fox-eared tree lovers and their oh so civilised culture had driven me up the walls within months. I mean, seriously, who apologises when they get hit in the face by a mug of ale? It was damn near impossible to start a decent bar fight on this island. So all me ‘n me lads could do was cool our heels and become the best gods damned rune smiths outside the dwarven kingdom. Until the sweet smell of fire and the music of battle had woken me not 5 minutes ago. And here we were, ready to crush some skulls. Which skulls to crush we’d figure out along the way.

We crossed the border to the garden, 11 dwarfs wide and 11 dwarfs deep and immediately the runes along the shaft of BigBertha lit up. She was a beauty of 24.3 kgs, all hardened oak and gleaming mithril. The basic design was taken from a double-armed crossbow but I had added another pair of throwing arms to double the penetration force. Each part, except the shaft, had been forged and crested with runes, even the two strings were made from multiple twisted mithril threads, each thread adorned with minuscule marks, granting durability and strength. The body of me crossbow was crafted from the core wood of a 1000 years oak and I had personally etched a myriad of runes into it. They could detect most forms of magic around me and right now they showed mainly soul energy with strong binding enchantments. A big, fat, happy smiled formed on me face and I shouted: “Lads, we’re in for a treat! Some nasty soul hocus-pocus is all around. Smash everything that looks creepy and if you’re unsure break some bones. If it screams, get off! Stay in formation until we know how many there are. Ranged combatants to the second line, shields and pikes to the front, axes to the sides. Let’s roll!”

I dropped back while Atosh and Brombolosh, me cousins on me mother’s side, twice removed, stepped up to seal the line. A pike was sandwiched in between two shields in the front and like an avalanche of shimmering steal we forged on. I slid a massive steel rod into the grove on BigBertha’s back. With a flick of me wrist I cut me self on the tip of the bolt and placed me bleeding finger on a rune, inlaid with diamonds, sapphires and gold. The rune lit up with white fire that travelled along the shaft and filled the bolt to the brim. There’d be not much left but rubble where this baby was going to hit. Me eyes roamed through the smoke and fiery mayhem all around, searching for me first target.

There! Shadows were hustling through the flame lit night, chasing after the kitsune. Shadows? Not for long. “Go for everything without colour. Shadows are around again. Imbued weapons only!” I shouted while me first missile sped through the night. With the sound of a hummingbird it covered about 50 meters in the blink of an eye and slammed dead centre into a shadow lurking in the canopy of a burning tree. Me shot threw it right out of the tree, a fist sized hole in its chest. It turned into wisps of smoke that dispersed into nothingness on the way down. Me bolt continued on into the night and I lost track of it. Xorlosh 1, rest 0. It was gonna be a great night!

“Break formation, squads of three, 2 shields on one attacker. Etosh, you’re with me squad. Rally to the drum when it sounds. I’m gonna crack a cask of mother’s ale tonight for every dead shadow! Dwarfs, disperse! Make ‘em remember who purged this fucking ritual from the lands!”

“Aye!!” Like a well oiled machine our formation broke into smaller parts. Me brethren moved into the chaos with bloodlust in their eyes and destruction in their hearts. Foul soul sorcery near a dwarven colony? The last mistake anyone could make!

Atosh and Brombolosh flanked me while Etosh stayed a step behind. I headed towards the big tree in the centre, I expected some serious entertainment there. The situation seemed pretty straight forward. Some bozo had sacrificed a shit ton of sentients to mass-produce mindless zombies and launch an attack on this kingdom. So I’d meander to the palaces and crash any shadowy party I’d come across on the way. It had been far too long since I had taken me lady out for a night of fun. We had some catching up to do.

Unfortunately the next shadow dropped from a roof and appeared close enough for Atosh and Brombolosh to get their hairy paws on it before I could get me trusted Bertha ready. They didn’t even bother with any fancy movements, sunk their mithril gloved fists into its figure and tore it apart with the sound of ripping cloth. I liked it. Maybe a tad messy but beautifully brutal. I didn’t have to grieve me loss for long though as the piñata had only been a distraction. Two of its colleagues thought it wise to step out behind me and Etosh and smash into us with all they had. Did you hear the story about the dwarf who got thrown to the ground by someone crashing into him? Neither did I. With a light thud like raindrops they bounced off of us and stumbled back. I had finished reloading and charging BigBertha’s runes. I loved shooting fish in a barrel.

The head in front of me exploded and Bertha’s greetings continued on to smash through a burning door with a shower of sparks. Etosh’s assailant was less lucky. With a maniacal giggle Etosh jumped after it while blood red runes on his drum started glowing. With a swooshing noise the drum turned into a shadowy hole and Etosh slammed it straight over the poor shadow. The drum lit up with red light for a moment and returned to its normal appearance. We had made our first prisoner. No need to be careful from now on, one was good enough!

From somewhere to my right I could hear the crisp sound of two shields being clashed together. We had suffered our first casualty, an attacker. The two remaining shields would join other squads and continue the hunt but I was disappointed. These were measly constructs of magic, paper warriors without emotions, hearts and stubbornness. They couldn’t even use spells for crying out loud. Had I been too soft on the lads? Another clang tore me from me musing. We had lost a shield. What the fuck? The shadows shouldn’t even be able to pierce our runic armour. What was going on? “Etosh, hit it! Regroup!” When the first of three consecutive drum beats rolled through the garden and blew away the smoke obscuring me sight I got a glimpse of the problem.

Humans, gods damned humans were stalking through the inferno, finishing off every kitsune the shadows had missed. They were clad in matte black steel with a broken wheel painted in red on their chests. The fucking merchants who had bought residency rights a few years ago? I had only taken notice back then because the decision had made the crown prince of the third palace leave. Seemed like the kiddo had been right. The rotten traitors were cleaning up behind the shadows. While their damned slaves kept the kitsune disorientated and prevented organised resistance, killing guards and every capable warrior they could find, the humans finished off the rest. I could even see one with an array of slave collars. Wherever they dragged children from burning houses they’d collar ‘em and sent ‘em away, I didn’t know where. Crap, I would never have broken formation against enemies of flesh and blood.

I turned me eyes towards the palaces but the thick branches blocked me view. I couldn’t get up there at the moment anyways so they should be fine. I couldn’t worry about stuff I couldn’t change.

“Etosh, keep the drumbeat rolling, we have to rally the locals. Use the rhythm of their military drills.” I started shouting: “rally to me dwarfs of the mines! Heed my voice foxes of the trees! To me!!! Gather free peoples of the five kingdoms, defend your home! Fight the shadow, kill the witch!” The first reply was muffled but as more and more voice joined in, the crackling fire was overcome and more than just dwarven voices answered: “Throw ‘em in the deepest ditch!” The dwarven squads were the first to reach us even though they still attacked every shadow and low life human they came across on the way. I was kinda proud of me lads.

While everyone streamed towards our location, Brombolosh used his shield to lift me up so I could scramble onto a rooftop. I liked me self a straight line of sight. I had 48 bolts left and swore I’d shoot at least half before I had to jump back down. No need for fancy runes, I was gonna split human skulls! And there was the first. He was completely oblivious, reaching for a downed, elderly kitsune when his head turned into red mush. The bolt travelled on and smashed the knee of one ugly bastard behind, throwing him to the ground. As I imagined his lovely screams, I thought to me self that I still had me touch. But there were more than enough to go. Me lady hadn’t had her fill yet. It was time to use some of me surprises.

I could t use mineral poison, the fox tribe didn’t share our immunities, but I had me cousin brew up something special for occasions like that. A nasty little concoction that hung in the air for hours, like coal dust. It would attach to any active aura, meaning a sentient in the process of using energy, and suffocate the target. A nuisance for warriors, a gods damned pain in the ass for sorcerers and straight up deadly for beings like shadows. Let’s even the battlefield a little, shall we?

I attached a black, hollow marble to a bolt and prepped me love. I had three marbles, each could cover a decent amount of space in black goo if it exploded on the ground. But I had me self a different idea. With a deft pull I unhooked the second pair of throwing arms and turned them below the shaft. I could shoot two bolts simultaneously now and I adjusted the angel so that the two projectiles would collide after 50 meters or so. I loaded two marble- bolts and shot them straight up into the air. With a high pitched ping and the homey smell of volcanic ash, a dark cloud formed 50 meters up in the sky. Air currents from the burning tress below slammed into it and dispersed it farther and farther over the garden. It was like blowing iron dust over magnets. Me lovely brew would reach over most of the town and hone in on all the shadows hidden through out. Time to shoot some more traitors.

96 seconds and 16 bolts later I scrambled back down from the roof. I couldn’t belief it, I had missed, twice! But 18 dead with 16 shots was still all right and I had most of me explosives left, mind you. Me lads were back and assembled, we had lost 8 up until now and 7 were seriously injured. A bunch of foxes were also along, some smeared with black goo. Huh, should have cancelled your spells, mates. It was time to clean house.

“Hollowed square, foxes and ranged in the middle, fire at will. No active magic! Defensive stand on the edges, we circle the big tree. Move!” Me lads were fast as ever but it took our new interns several seconds to understand what I wanted and a couple more to get to the middle. Two lines of dwarfs protected a square at the centre were the ranged combatants and foxes aimed their weapons or cared for the wounded. “Inner line, activate guard runes, protect the middle. Outer line check every house on the way. Forwards!” Etosh’s beat changed to the quick rhythm of our war chant and we marched. We marched and we sang.

We cut through everything in our way like a scythe through grass. Shadows were squashed, humans were killed and we even quenched some of the fires we came across. Each dwelling was searched and the number of fox people in our midst kept growing. The rune formations on the armour of me lads were active and formed a protective bubble over our formation. If anything wanted to get through it would have to break the line. Me worries were limited.

The shadows fought and the humans fled. Couldn’t say I was surprised. We shot everyone in the back who was stupid enough to be seen, but I didn’t break the formation again. Let ‘em flee, I hadn’t forgotten about the children or me dead comrades. We’d find ‘em again. Soon. Real soon.

It was ungrateful work and more often than not everything we could salvage were corpses. It was a real piece of work to keep me lads from running after the traitors but I didn’t want to lose any more friends tonight. But I did send off three fast runners back to the mine. If the humans meant to leave they would have to have an air ship around somewhere. I wanted it marked.

We killed 28 shadows and 11 humans and saved 78 kitsune while we slowly pushed through the garden. Two more dwarfs succumbed to their wounds and we lost another 9 and 14 kitsune when one of the fox people suddenly exploded. Literally, one moment he was fine and the next he detonated with enough force to blow a dwarf-deep crater into the ground. Gods damned magic. Only the most spineless, useless piece of living trash would use a living bomb!

When we cornered one of the humans a few minutes later, he experienced our displeasure. I wanted him alive, but that didn’t mean in one piece. Me lads argued that all he needed was a mouth and the stuff necessary to use it. I agreed and we stripped him of his superfluous parts within a few minutes. When his wailing became to much, the boys also shoved a gag into his mouth and tied him up nicely for transport.

It took us the better part of an hour to clear the garden. I set 60 of me lads to cover the entrances and 10 to guard the injured and turned towards the huge tree in the middle with the rest. Let’s have a look how the royals fared, shall we? I scrutinised the branches from below but I still couldn’t see much. At least nothing was on fire as far as I could tell. We headed towards the stairs a frightened boy had pointed out. When we were halfway there, I heard a scream from above and a round projectile sped towards us from the canopy. “Shields!” I thundered. We took cover and a second later a loud gong vibrated through the air. I didn’t sound like metal though, rather somewhat squishy. “Chief, I think it’s stuck to me shield,” Atosh said and then shook his head in disgust as blood interspersed with bone and a greyish fleshy substance dripped from his shield overhead onto his hair. “Lower it.”

Squashed on top of his shield was a deformed head, cracked open and nearly unrecognisable. The crumbled golden diadem adorned with rubies, pressed deeply into his forehead along with his long, golden hair were dead giveaways though. We were starring at the former first king and ruler of the first palace, Lord Sol.