An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon

A warm touch and the smell of herbs dragged my consciousness back from the deepest pits of my mind. My eyes flew open and I was halfway out of bed before my mom managed to push me back down. I struggled for a second before the rational part of my mind kicked in and the last ghosts of my dreams returned to the past. Falling back on my pillow, I took a few deep breaths and focused on my surroundings. I was back in my room and the afternoon sun shone in through the windows. The colourful collection of herbs and tinctures on my nightstand as well as the harrowed look in and dark circles under my mother’s eyes reminded me of my condition when I had lost consciousness. But I felt fine. There was a lingering stiffness in my leg but otherwise I felt healthy and hungry or rather famished. I probably had slept longer than a day. When my thoughts returned to the fight, I tried to get out of bed once again.

“Where is Ahri” I croaked. “Is she alright?”

“Calm down! Get back on the bed! Ahri is alive and didn’t sustain any lasting damage. By the Great Fox, it won’t do her or you any good if you go running around the palace to look for her. She is still unconscious, but Greta is sure she’ll make a full recovery. Right now you should be worrying about yourself. How do you feel? Do your remember what happened?”

I did but I wasn’t keen on explaining why I had charged into the cage and interrupted a sacred trial. I couldn’t imagine my family being happy about me valuing the life of a single kitsune higher than our oldest traditions, especially one that was safeguarded by Boseiju himself. For me, that showed plainly how decadent our society had become, but I wasn’t interested in arguing the finer points of royal responsibilities right then.

“I…. vaguely. I remember Edmund’s transformation and how he relished in Ahri’s pain. I… I was angry and nobody was helping. Then… I wanted to help her, so I started moving. I remember unfurling my wings but everything after that is hazy. What did happen?”

“You saved your friend and nearly gave me a heart attack. Somehow you got into the cage and confronted that … abomination before he could kill her. Do you remember the fight?”

“No, just … pain and that I somehow felt … invincible? I couldn’t tell you what actually happened.”

“Maybe it’s better this way. You won, in the end, but… it’s not important. Your safe and sound, that’s all that matters right now. How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.”

My mom chuckled: “now that’s a good sign and something I can definitely help you with. Gimme a minute. And please, don’t get up again. Even if you feel fine, Greta will have my ears if I let you up before she has the chance to look at you properly.” She stood up and left the room but turned around in the doorway: “when I’m back, we have to talk. What you did… this won’t just blow over.”

Right, saving a life probably meant nothing compared to violating the rules of a trial that had been set up by people who had died while Boseiju had still been a seedling. And the stupid tree had even said it out loud. Good fucking times…

While my mom was gone, I made myself comfortable and peeked under my blanket. No scars, no bruises and no fractures. I had been stuffed into a clean nighty and four tails wiggled in front of my eyes. I could also feel my wings, retracted into my back, thrumming with energy. It felt…right. Like I had had an inch that I hadn’t even known was there, but that was finally gone. I had missed a part of myself that had now returned. I felt whole for the first time.

A content smile spread over my face and I unfurled my wings, touching the medicine on my sideboard, caressing my pillows and opening the window. I could use each torrent of energy separately and while I couldn’t pour energy into them to enhance their strength, they were still unbelievably dexterous and agile. For a moment I simply enjoyed the sensations of my body. But my bliss didn’t last long as the door opened five minutes later to reveal my mom, Greta right behind her.

After her gruff: “So, you’re finally awake,” she prodded, poked and pinched me until my skin was red and I felt like I had gone through another round with Eddie. She even moved my leg up and down and made sure all the joints were working properly. Unfortunately I didn’t feel like thanking her: “ouch, are you done now? I’m pretty sure tugging on my tails doesn’t hold any diagnostic value”, you old hag, I added silently.

“And how would you know? Despite my best efforts you still remain ignorant of even the most basic healing techniques.” I wonder why… maybe because your best efforts always contain a considerable amount of things flying at me? I didn’t say that out loud though. No point in having even more things come flying at me. “So kindly shut it and let me do my work.” After she had pinched my cheeks and checked my wings, I finally understood what was going on: she had been worrying and was just a little touchy-feely at the moment. I couldn’t suppress a grin, she just didn’t have it in her to tell me how glad she was that I was fine and unharmed. I didn’t complain anymore and just let her do as she pleased. After 5 minutes she had felt me up enough to pronounce me “restored” and started mixing a draught form the different tinctures in my nightstand. I could identify thyme, valerian roots and lime blossoms. There was also a faint earthly smell I couldn’t place. As she passed the vibrant yellow potion to my mother she told her: “this will make her sleep. She should be completely healthy by the morrow.” She turned her blind eyes in my direction and added: “drink it before you turn in. It should suppress any dreams that might bother you. Don’t try to remember anything tonight, just sleep and recover. Anything else can wait till the morning.” As she spoke the last words, she turned back to my mother who gave her a tiny nod. Greta left us alone afterwards but I could see her wipe a single tear from her withered eyes before she closed the door.

Mom and me stared after her in silence for a few seconds.

“So… how bad is it? And what aren’t you supposed to tell me until morning?”

“Cassy…you heard her. Sleep and recover. We’ll talk about everything once you wake up.”

“Mom, that’s not how it works. I’m not only a child. If you don’t tell me, my imagination will run wild and I won’t be able to sleep anyway. And don’t even think about slipping me that potion” I added when I saw her gaze cling to the little bottle in her hand. “I’m not gonna eat until you spill the beans. Am I in trouble or did something happen to Ahri?”

“No, Ahri is fine, like I said. I’m honestly surprised that you thought I’d lie to you about something like that. And I know that you’re not only my little princess. You made that abundantly clear when you burned a demon to ashes. But for the largest part you still are and I want to protect you. Although I’m not sure I can in this case.” She exhaled slowly and sat down on the bed. Her tails curled around me, her fingers brushed my hair and for a second I felt like a little girl again, clinging to her mother for comfort.

“I ordered some warm soup from the kitchen. Let me collect my thoughts and just hold you until the food arrives. I’ll tell you everything once you have eaten. I promise.”

I only nodded. That sounded serious. I expected some trouble because I had broken the rules, but honestly, how bad could it be? Nothing actually had gone wrong, nobody had been hurt. I wasn’t the one who had channeled a friggin demon for god’s sake!

I was at a loss for a reply so I just snuggled closer to her and tried to relax into her embrace. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew was a timid knock on the door accompanied by a tantalising smell: chicken-soup.

My mom got up and opened the door. I heard her exchange a few words with the servant on the other side but I didn’t listen. The aroma of a thick broth was much too distracting. A second later my mom carried the most beautiful thing into the room that I had ever seen: a large tray with a huge bowl and some slices of freshly baked bread. My mouth started to water and I forgot about everything else when the first savoury spoon slid down my throat. Heaven, this was heaven.

5 slices of bread, some butter and a bowl of chicken-soup later I was again able to communicating without grunting or moaning.

“I’m sorry. Did you want some? When I smelled the food… I was really hungry, sorry again.” I said slightly bashful.

Mom seemed amused: “No, that’s alright. Are you full? Should I order some more?”

“I can’t eat anything anymore but thanks a lot. It was amazing. So… what’s going on?”

She sighed: “not to be distracted, huh? Fine. You said you remembered unfurling your wings and moving towards the trial area, yes?” I nodded. “You somehow got into the cage and, well, killed Edmund before he could finish off your maid.” I flinched slightly at that. Ahri was much more than a maid by now. “You were injured, quite seriously, and lost consciousness quickly after. Mordred and me tried to get to you, but the crowed pushed us back. The trial was finished but before the cage could vanished, Boseiju marked you as an oath breaker. Do you know what that means?” I nodded again. An oath breaker was someone who had committed a crime against our most sacred laws, namely the ones ingrained in our home, Boseiju himself. Usually Boseiju took care of oath breakers, swiftly and violently. “But I’m not burned, am I? Or am I marked?” With a slight panic I looked around for a mirror. Besides burning traitors with his life force, Boseiju could also brand one’s soul with a mark, labelling the person a traitor to the true home of the kitsune. It would usually show up as the same emblem Ahri and Edmund had had on their foreheads during the trial.

“No, neither happened. You’re fine, really. But… well, everyone is pretty sure that Boseiju tried to burn you. You were engulfed in his energies when the trial ended. It didn’t stop until we heard a cracking sound a few seconds later and Boseiju’s withered crown crashed through the canopy.” Oh shit.

“I…I’m not sure what happened next. I somehow got through to your side but you were bleeding all over and Ahri lay dying only a few meters away. Before I could do anything we were surrounded by the people of the second palace clamouring on about you being a threat to Boseiju and whatnot. I thought they were going to try to rip you apart right there…”

“But Edmund, the demon, his transformation, doesn’t that matter?” I interrupted her. It felt like I was about to lose my home.

She stroked my cheek gently: “Oh honey, you got to understand, this tree is the most important thing for the kitsune. It’s our home and our history. If they think you violated its laws and even destroyed part of it, it won’t matter why you did it. I’m sorry, I should have stopped you or helped you or…” she couldn’t continue as tears stated to drip down her face and her voice choked off.

I hugged her tightly: “Mom, it’s okay, I’m still alive. We can figure everything else out. They don’t want to kill me still, do they?” After a few moments of sobbing into my shoulder she calmed down enough to answer: “No. Before anything could happen Greta appeared out of nowhere. She blew away the kitsune surrounding us and made it quite clear what would happen to anyone who dared to get close to you again. She can be one scary fox if she wants to. Anyways, she picked you and Ahri up with magic, brought you back to the palace and treated your wounds. She has been staying with us ever since, probably to make sure you would both be fine when you woke up.” Probably also to make sure that no over-zealous tree-lover could permanently prevent me from waking up again. “Your father has been in closed council with the other kings for the last two days. The… the other families want to exile you as a branded traitor. I’m so sorry. But for all that it’s worth I think you did the right thing. I’m damn proud of you, my little angel.”

She even managed a watery smile while she said that. Unfortunately I couldn’t bring myself to smile back. A branded traitor? What did that mean? I would have to leave, that was for sure, but would they literally try to brand me or even worse, cut off my tails as they did in the past? That wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t need an airship to fly anymore. But I didn’t want to leave my home. I hadn’t done anything wrong, I saved someone for crying out loud!

“But… but I’m a royal, they can’t exile me just like that, can they? They would need the consent of every family!” My mom gazed at me with deep, empty eyes: “they…they argue that you aren’t kitsune, so you can’t be royalty.” Bollocks.

It took me a while to digest the news. Apparently my father was arguing my case based on Boseiju’s recognition of my status. Even if the tree had tried to kill me, it had recognised a royal trial, accepting my status as a princess of the moon palace. I still wasn’t clear on how Edmund had been able to challenge me, but that had to wait. After staring out of the window for quite a while, the view combined with the smell of cherry blossoms always calmed me down, I turned back to my mom who had busied herself with preparing Greta’s potion.

“I don’t want to go to bed immediately. I’d like to visit Ahri, she’s in her room, isn’t she? Would you maybe like to come along? You could tell me about how the royals intent to discredit Boseiju on the way.” She seemed ready to argue but thought better of it and only nodded. She put down the cup and brought me a fresh robe I could put on over my nighty. I took her offered arm and we slowly walked towards the door.

“They argue that Boseiju recognised you before your treason. Him trying to burn you afterwards makes it null and void. They say you only survived because you aren’t one of us and should be treated as a foreigner who damaged Boseiju.”

“But wouldn’t that mean they’d want to kill me outright?” I panted. My stamina was still severely lacking. Hopefully I didn’t have to make a run for it.

“They would, if they had any laws to go by. Nobody has survived Boseiju’s judgment before without a mark. You should either be dead or labeled a traitor already. Those should be the only options, consequentially they intent to make you an exile in Boseiju’s name. According to them it should already have happened.” I realised I could supplement my walking with tiny impulses from my wings so I didn’t need a break halfway across the corridor.

“Honestly, mom, how does is it look right now?”

“I’m not allowed in the chambers, only the kings can enter after all.” She gave me a side-way glance: “But from what your father told me during meals it’s…not going too well. The second family is adamant and seems to have the support of every other family except the first…”

“And because they are debating about an interpretation of Boseiju’s words and actions, not about exiling another royal, they don’t need everyone’s consent. 3 in 5 would be enough.” I finished for her gloomily. What a marvellous birthday it had been.