An Age of Mysterious Memories

The athletic one, a young woman I suppose--though none of us have sexes, and barely any of us have genders--Teuila, scampers up close. I gulp as she stands on her hind paws, putting herself nearly at equal height with me. She’s such a presence, the pride in her stance, the sparkle in her eyes, the sleek, taut musculature that’s visible beneath the fur of her slender frame. She takes my hand, and I stand transfixed. For the briefest moment our eyes lock, before she bashes her shoulder into mine and then takes off like a rocket, dragging me along. I picture myself veritably flying through the air behind her waving like a wet noodle or ribbon, though I’m doing my best to keep up.

Lil topples over, rolling off of my head and plopping into the sand behind me, where Luni helps them up. I feel bad about Lil, but Teuila dragging me towards something, adventure, rest, excitement, discovery, anything, is filling me with unimaginable exhilaration. Her silky hand gripping mine tightly somehow fills me with lightness, perhaps even lightheadedness in a rapturous joy. Actually, I also feel tremendously light in contact with her, as if half of my own mass is dispersed, or unaffected by gravity. It must be my giddiness going to my head. These feelings are so alien, foreign to me. I can barely comprehend how enamored I am in the moment of such a simple thing as running along a beach with a new friend.

I find myself thinking that proprioception is a really cool sense, based on the feeling of various muscles, their exact states, generally your somatosensory cortex can present a subconscious image to your body as to where your limbs are in relation to one another, and in some cases, simple changes in air pressure and other subtle hints in the atmosphere can clue you in to other nearby things before impact. Or even tell you if you're smiling or frowning and such. Some of the subtle changes can even be just the sound of the air around you as you move through it, if the swish suddenly changes, your proximity to other objects has changed.

These thoughts pop into my mind, as I realize both that I’m smiling, and that I’m a mere instant from colliding with a massive palm tree. So I put in a burst of speed, nearly tackling Teuila, throwing her into a spin while I lift her into the air as if we’re doing a sort of ballet across the sands. She’s impossibly light, almost literally weightless.

“Dork.” Teuila snarks, while her face betrays amusement. She looses a soft giggle.

“Huh?” Oh right, we’re still racing across the sands, with the Shellcrackers following along behind us. I wonder if I’m Reggie Shellcracker now. I realize I’ve been running a few paces with her in my arms, and set her down. Teuila doesn’t miss a beat, hitting the ground running, dragging me along once again, her stamina and athletic abilities put mine to shame.

I don’t feel ashamed though, I just feel exhilarated, my mind distracted from any thoughts of massive sea serpents, or Day… One… Falling into a sudden panic attack, I lose my step, tripping over myself, losing my grip on Teuila and launching dozens of feet through the air to skid another dozen feet through the sand on my face until I impact the back of a massive seashell.

My vision has tunneled and my heart is pounding into my throat, and my face is scraped and reddened from the sands. Despite this, I can tell Teuila is crossing her arms, rolling her eyes in a sort of “Did you want to win so badly you hurt yourself? You dork,” kind of expression. Proprioception again, I guess, it’s probably only meant to apply to your own limbs and their immediate surroundings, but, I can just feel her rolling her eyes from a short ways away, or at least crossing her arms. It’s like there’s no space between my sense of location, and that same sense among others nearby. Huh, objects and their positioning in space. My skill? I feel myself being helped up, and dusted off in a manner that feels quite similar to a hug.

Instantly, I fall into the perceived embrace, and am drawn out of my nightmarish flashbacks. It’s unlikely to work again, but the shock of feeling so closely, tenderly embraced by one so captivating, powerful, and charming helps drag me from my panic attack. I cock my head to one angle as I stare into Teuila’s eyes for a moment, feeling my racing heart slow, but skip a few beats. Somehow she sees. I can tell she sees that I was somewhere dark and hurtful. Her expression changes from a scoff and exasperation, softening. She playfully socks my cheek and bonks my head, extremely lightly, before just walking away, not a word said. Allowing me space to process.

I raise a hand to my cheek as I hold my face, noticing a minor wetness of tears as I mumble, “What is this feeling?”

Lil’s response snaps me back to reality, “I’unno Reggie, what is it?”

I gulp and blush as I respond in turn, “Huh? Oh, oh I thought that out loud. Oh no, oh this is going to be challenging. Did the whole Shellcracker party hear that?”

Lil jubilantly answers, “Naw, just me buddy, you and I are on, hm, I guess a separate channel, wavelength? Something like that, a direct link.”

Whew, I let loose a bated breath before answering Lil’s earlier question, “Oh, in that case, I had a really bad memory pop up at a bad time.”

“Is that why you faceplanted like twenty feet of sand?” Lil queries jokingly.

I snerk, a half snorted smirking laugh, “Hah, yeah, yeah it is, oof, how do I look?”

Lil lands a punchline that’s already perfectly set up, “Like you lost a fight with a beach.”

“Hahah, I suppose that makes sense.” I can’t help but laughing a deep, full, belly laugh, nearly falling over into the sand face first again, and I rub a tear from the corner of my left eye while I grin stupidly at Lil.

Lil presses further about the previous topic, “So was that bad memory the feeling buddy?”

I flush heatedly with blush as I try to honestly answer, while being confused about it myself, “Hm? Oh no, no, just, Teuila, she helped me up, and when her arms were around me, I snapped out of the bad memory. It felt really nice.”

“Sounds like twitterpation to me, mhm, mhm.” Lil says matter-of-factly, as if that were the only possible conclusion.

An incredulous confused expression takes up residence upon my face as I questioningly state, “Give me a break buddy, what does twitterpation even mean? That sounds like a made up word.”

Lil teases, “All words are made up ya goon.”

I try not to snort a laugh as I clarify, “Okay, fair, but I mean, it sounds like you made that up just now.”

“Nuh uh.” Lil’s response is seemingly juvenile and slightly out of character. Not that they wouldn’t make this joke normally, but the tone coming across has hints of a negative emotion that I’m not parsing properly.

I try to keep it lighthearted as I ask for clarification, “Uh huh, come on, cut me some slack, tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

“Fine, fine, but it’s totally obvious, you were literally heel over head after running with her for a little while. Hmph.” Lil looks a bit indignant, and I’m not sure whether that’s because I’m giving them a hard time about twitterpation, or if there’s something more going on.

I try to puzzle out, “Isn’t the saying head over heels? Wait, your head is normally over your heels, why would. Okay so the saying that I think I know, doesn’t even make sense.”

“Whatever! You and your new best buddy can put your heads and your heels wherever you want them!” Oh no, Lil is actually upset. Wait, is it because Lil’s jealous or annoyed that they don’t have limbs?

I guess I could play on the safe side and just ask. “Lil are you feeling down about anything?” I hug Lil tightly “You know I love you, right?” Lil squirms for a moment before sighing and nuzzling into the hug, wrapping their tail around my left forearm.

“It’s not fair, I’d totally hug you to help you get out of bad memories. I would, you know I would!” Lil’s tone cracks and I feel tears flowing from their eyes like a stream. I cry several silent tears and kiss their forehead.

“Oh buddy, buddy I know you would. I know you would. I love you Lil, it’s okay.” I keep hugging Lil and stroking the back of their head and tail. I notice we’ve been standing around behind a giant shell for a while, and the rest of the Shellcrackers had caught up and passed us, though I can tell they’re just on the other side of the shell.

“Are we okay buddy?” I ask with bated breath.

“Yeah, whatever, it’s fine.” Lil responds while attempting to sound grumpy through our text bubbles. I can tell the grumpiness is an act as Lil is already cheered up, something about our special bond just feels like we’re back in sync after having a small upset. I give Lil a little noogie, to which they respond “Heyyy you big meanie, hah, fine fine, we’re good, we’re gooood stooooop already.”

I chuckle as I release Lil from my noogie grip to let them take up residence atop my head. I step around the shell and realize we’re at the Shellcracker’s home, and their clan name or family name, is fairly accurate. There are dozens of giant shells that look like they were set up as shacks and lean-tos, but they’re all cracked and smashed. I catch up to Agwai and Laomati, to ask them about it.

I somewhat jokingly state, “Oh, I guess I understand how you get your name.” Agwai and Laomati exchange a sad glance and shake their head at my guess.

After seeing their, I guess furtive glance, no, that’s probably not the right adjective, their solemn glance, yeah, that’s it, I have to ask, “Wait, what’s wrong?”

“We did not crack -these- shells.” Agwai states, emphasizing the word these. Laomati nods in agreement, pointing to smaller shells around what looks to be a cooking pit, and then points over to Taito and Iakopo hauling a large shell in from somewhere, a completely intact giant shell.

I feel fear rising in my throat as I imagine the implication. “Then, then what cracked these shells?” I manage to shakily ask, though perhaps in our odd text communication there might be no difference.

“These were our homes, and while thankfully, the great beasts of the sea themselves did not come aground, their mere presence upon the shelf, instead of the depths, set the seas to turmoil, sending a tsunami’s tidal wave crashing ashore stronger than we’d ever experienced before.” Laomati explains as she clasps one of my hands, seemingly knowing that explaining such to me would make me nervous. Laomati strokes my hand and keeps me grounded during the explanation.

There’s a change in the air pressure, everything feels suddenly cooler as a chill passes, and I peer into the distance, at where I thought the horizon line was, but my gaze is met with water. Puzzled, I look up just slightly, and there’s the horizon line. I think. How would the horizon line itself move? My eyes flash wide in fear as I imagine what it could mean. A massive wave, far in the distance.

I gulp, almost certain I’m imagining things, but I ask, “A tsunami wave, like, like that one?”

Lao and Agwai look to the horizon, trying to deny my fears, but don’t answer. They wave over Taito and Iakopo who nod before heading off to the shoreline where they dive into the water.

My facial expression twists to one of confusion, “Wait, is that safe, what are they doing?”

“Never fear my child, they’re simply heading out to estimate the height of the wave. Should we need to, we’ll take shelter a short ways inland. It’s likely several hours away, if it is a wave at all.” Lao explains and Agwai nods before heading off to round up the rest of the Shellcrackers, who all gather in a single lean-to.

Looking around, I realize that there are far more shell buildings than Shellcrackers, and my heart sinks as I come to the logical conclusion. They must have lost several friends and family already. They are all in pain and pushing forward. My throat locks, caught with a gulp halfway swallowed, unable to voice my thoughts. These wonderful people have recently lost more than I can guess at the moment, and here they are, welcoming me, joining me, comforting me. I just feel so inadequate. I want to comfort all of them and take away their pain and give them back what they lost, but I can’t.

Laomati ushers everyone into the largest shell hut. The entire Shellcracker clan, myself included, pile into a small circle, cuddling amongst one another, Teuila practically flops atop me in a faux body slam, where she spreads out across my lap and Lil’s head. Lil harrumphs, but I can tell they’re actually happy to be so close to each of us.

Laomati and Agwai seem to keep vigil, likely waiting for some sort of signals from Iakopo or Taito. They're sitting at opposite ends of the cuddle pile, holding the hands of various smaller otters while staring towards the sea. Surely they will rouse us at the first sign of danger. It's not like a tsunami wave can just teleport closer, or be generated out of nowhere like a magic spell with unexpected suddenness. I think. I'm honestly too tired to think about it as my eyelids droop again and again.

Having felt a whirlwind of emotions over the last few days, and having traveled through, well, basically hell and high water, I think that’s the phrase, has left me feeling fairly drained, more than I realized. Moments after cuddling into the cuddle pile, I feel fingers intertwine with mine, and I can tell Lil tries to say something cutesy and snarky about it, though I pass out before I can tell what was said. My dreams feel full of warmth and kindness, somehow in a vast universe of endless possibilities, through endless challenges, strife, struggle, and adversity, the lives of the loving in the universe find a way forward.