An Age of Mysterious Memories

I awaken what must be some days later yet, to fish being pressed against my face, as I’m being fed. Thankfully the way eating works is rather automatic, and the family thought to take care of me, making sure I was nourished. I’m truly, fully awake now, but tears barely work their way out of my injured tear ducts as I realize I can’t move, nor can I see. Or at least I can not see more than a slightly blurry darkness on a slightly blurry lightness. If my eyesight is recovering, it’s doing so slowly. I’m not sure why I can’t move, or speak. Having control of neither my muscles nor ability to communicate fills me with panic. A soothing, moistened, swath of cloth, or fur, or perhaps leaf leather, helps relax my racing panicked mind as it brushes various tender parts of my body. Oh, I’ve been stripped, probably so whomever is attending me could take care of me. I thought I was doing them a favor by covering up the burns, but I guess medically that wasn’t the smartest thing to do the way I did it.

“Reggie’s crying, Reggie’s eyes are moving! They’re awake!” I can -hear- my family talking, I heard Te calling my name, pronouncing me awake. I know it’s textboxes in my mind’s eye, but her voice, though frantic, is akin to a bell in an orchestra, light and airy, yet demanding of attention, a pleasing pitch that’s encompassing like a hug between two bodies on a cold day.

I want to talk to her, to thank her, to tell her how much I worried for them, how hard I tried, but I can’t speak. I want to ask about Lil and Luni, about everyone. I’m so frustrated that I shed a few more precious tears from my dehydrated body. I feel Te’s cupped hands near my mouth, and can tell they’re filled with water, which she allows me to drink, in that magical way that consumption happens automatically.

“Reggie, Reggie you did it, you saved her, we saved her, come on buddy, please wake up, Luni wants to say hi, she wants to thank you. Please Reggie, I love you, talk to me.” My heart breaks as I hear Lil begging me to respond, and all I can do is feel tears well into my eyes, my tear ducts slowly functioning better and better.

“Shh, it’s okay my child, let them rest, they will be okay now, now I’m sure of it.” Lao calmly seems to direct Lil away from me, though I wish they would stay, and I think she whispers something to Te, who appears to agree.

I feel sharp pains as someone is apparently pulling my clothes onto my body once more, the pain is so intense I pass out yet again.

I don’t know whether it’s days later, or simply a few hours, when I finally awaken again, and feel some strength in my limbs. I wiggle my big toe, but that’s all I can do at the moment. Breathing feels so heavy and hard, I wonder how I’ve been breathing while asleep all this time. I exert myself as much as I can, I move just my big toe, and then the cluster of muscles that controls the rest of my toes slightly twitches simultaneously. I don’t think I ever had too much independent control of my toes, so I’m not surprised, but I feel the tendons and muscles along the arch of the top of my foot strain and quiver as I try to move my toes. Eventually, quite possibly hours later, I can't make any more progress on my lower extremities, so I manage to flick my index finger of my right hand, just slightly enough to let it drop and tap whatever it’s resting on. Almost proud of my progress, I tap again, and again, slowly more fingers join in.

A voiced box belonging to Teuila exclaims, “Reggie’s moving, I saw fingers tapping there, see! Their fingers are moving. Reggie, Reggie can you hear me?”

Lil excitedly adds, “Or me buddy!”

Teuila then gently orders, “If you can hear us, stop tapping for a second, then tap once.”

I do my best to let my fingers rest for a moment, then tap once. I’m suddenly engulfed by a warm embrace, as I’m pretty sure Te hugs me tightly, while I’m engulfed by a scaly bottom on my face as Lil practically smothers me, trying to hug and kiss me.

Teuila, with a mix of anger and laughter orders, “Get off Reggie you big dork, they can’t breathe like that.”

“Sorry pal, sorry, I’ve missed you so much, it’s been weeks!” Lil's response is somewhat expected, though not the length.

Wow, weeks and I’m still not recovered. The magic of this world normally put me back together from basically dead to basically fine overnight. I probably screwed up really badly to be in so much energy debt that I’m not even recovering physically all that much yet. I try to wiggle my fingers to get Lil and Te’s attention. I feel Te lean away from the hug, which saddens me slightly, but she seems to be trying to figure out what I want. While only being able to move three joints on my index finger, I try to point towards myself, and then point up, hoping that Te understands. I think I need to start moving to be able to recover, I don’t think I can make any more recovery progress from just resting.

“Te, I think Reggie wants to get up, I can just feel it somehow. They won’t get better anymore from just sleeping, at least that’s what they think, I think.” I can tell Te is thinking hard on Lil’s explanation. Eventually Te gives in and embraces me once more, this time, lifting me to a sitting position.

Teuila grumpily states, “That’s as far as Reggie’s going for right now, no matter what they want, okay?”

Lil cheekily replies, “Sure fam, I care about Reggie more than anyone, I don’t want them getting hurt worse.”

I can feel myself smile, and it hurts like hell, moving my facial muscles. After smiling, the pain causes me to grimace, which also hurts, which causes me to grimace again. I’m pretty sure that my two pals can tell I’m accidentally hurting myself with my facial expressions, as I get cuffed upside the head lightly by Te.

“If it hurts, stop doing it you big dork.” She actually causes me to laugh, the slightest vibration of my torso, and exhalation, but a laugh, laced with an incredible amount of pain, nonetheless. I still my face and my torso, and wiggle my finger once more, wanting to show appreciation, to hug my two closest friends back for taking care of me.

“They wanna hug us, but can only move their fingers and toes.” Lil explains. Are they in my mind? Or maybe just reading my mental log thing? I feel Te’s paw as she slips her fingers between mine.

“There, you can hug my fingers with yours.” She lets out a tiny chuckle like a tinkling bell that lifts my spirits further. I do just that, too, gripping her little hand with mine, as best I can. Lil bounds over to my other hand, and keeps bouncing up to touch it with the top of their head. I do my best to give gentle one-finger head pats to Lil when they come into contact with my hand.

I feel a bit drained from the exertion, as ludicrous as that sounds, of wiggling my extremities, and smiling and laughing a little. I also find myself thinking of being kissed by Te while underwater, how it saved my life when she gave up some of the air in her lungs for me. I flush a bit with embarrassment, hoping Lil doesn’t read my thoughts, and I swear I hear Lil think “Jerk.” for a second.

“I think Reggie needs to rest again, they can’t move anymore, and they have recovery stuff on the mind. See, they’re getting all red, like me, it means they have to cool down, ya dig?” Lil, Lil you sneaky little, are you in my head? A telepathic reply sounds out, “Duh.” Why didn’t you say something? Are you reading my memory journal thing, or how? Lil's brain plants into my brain the message, “Nah, I think I messed up and made us way more connected, Luni and I have been able to hear each other think for weeks now.”

…

Can Luni hear me think? “Yes, but I was trying to give you privacy.” Wait, is that Luni? How many voices am I going to have in my head!?

“Just us two I think buddy,” responds Lil. “I think that’s also why you can hear now the way that I hear. Maybe if you try focusing on it, you can see what I see?”

I guess I could give it a shot, though it hurts as I accidentally squint my eyes, I start to see my cute little self, not quite with as much cute round pudginess anywhere anymore, a little bit frail and gaunt looking, just a tiny bit. But I swear I look different in Lil’s vision than I do when I look in a reflection. More powerful, or cool somehow. I’m fairly shocked at how I appear in others’ eyes, though I feel touched by the admiration and adoration their view of me implies. Lil, could you please do me two favors? Could you come clean to Te about our connection, and could you, Te, and Luni, agree to laugh about my situation?

Lil grumps, “I don’t really want to do either of those, but I can’t say no to you buddy. Not right now at least.”

Sorry Lil, and thank you. Anyway, is that what you really think of me as you see me Lil? In Lil’s vision, my outfit looks far more well-tailored, better fitting, more protective, almost masterful fashion on top of sleek form and function, and my wild shock of unkempt hair looks more like the locks of a regal mane.

“Yeah, of course, not only are you high level, but you’re adorbs.” Adorbs? Really? Thanks Lil. Lil, I love you, I’m so grateful you saved Luni, and me. “Oh you didn’t need saving buddy, at least not before I entered you, I screwed up by going inside, then screwed up again inside.” came Lil’s reply.

Oh, I didn’t? Well, still, thank you for saving Luni, Luni I’m so glad you’re alive, I’m so so so so glad. I’m so sorry about not being able to save everyone, I can’t express how sorry I am, I just. I begin crying, tears streaming down my cheeks, I realize our entire mental conversation is happening in the split second it takes for Te to lay me back down.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for both of you, please don’t be sorry, I can literally feel how sorry you are, it’s so sad it hurts.” Luni responds to my thoughts. Oof, I feel a pang of guilt for that, feeling consequences for having negative emotions is going to be difficult to navigate.

“No no, don’t worry, we don’t always feel what the others feel, just when we’re listening in and talking like this. We can have whole conversations and go through whole spectrums of emotions with each other in seconds, it’s like we think faster than the world can act, like way faster than we could talk.” Luni explains to me, which makes sense. “It’s part of why Lil and I are so close now, it’s only been a few weeks for everyone else, but now it’s like we’ve had years of conversations and thoughts shared.”

Oh, wow, I’m a bit jealous of you two for the time that I missed out on.

“Don’t be jealous Reggie, now you’re part of it too, and plus, I can tell how you feel about Te.” Lil teases.

Lil! I mean, okay, I guess Luni can tell too. That’s just embarrassing though, I’m so naive that I don’t even know what I’m feeling, like, she makes my heart race, what even is that? I don’t know what that means! Is that like what you and Luni have?

“Yup, although everyone suspected on the first night when you two kept staring at each other like you were lost in another world.” Luni commented in response.

Wait, we did, wait, we both did?

“Uh huh, and Te insisted she be the one to take care of you.” My heart flutters as I hear this. Ugh, this is going to get embarrassing fast, having my emotions on display.

“More on display.” Lil teases again.

More on display?

“Yeah, you light up, literally.” I look through Lil’s eyes as they claim this. “Think about Te saving your life underwater.” I blush at the command, and sure enough, in Lil’s eyes, my aura has flashes of reds and purples in a sort of undulating pattern.

Wow, that’s, wow, well, that’s kind of ridiculous. Emotions in myself that I don’t even understand, show up as big flashes of color to everyone else. Way more obvious than flushed faces and quickened breathing or pulse or pupil dilation. Though I guess it doesn’t take an expert to recognize those either. I realize that even though I think my eyelids are closed, my eyelids feel incredibly heavy, and that I’m barely maintaining consciousness.

“Yeah you were on the verge of passing out as soon as Te started letting you back down.” Lil explains. Oh, that makes sense, I guess I won’t be able to keep--.