Chapter Thirty-Seven: A Whispered Confession
Serena sat down at the ironwood table. It wasn’t comparable to the enormous gold-trimmed table in the grand dining hall at their home estate. Instead, this table only politely whispered of House Halen’s wealth. The rest of the room continued in a similar vein, boasting great tapestries and heavily-framed paintings. While not produced by the most skilled artists in the Empire, these still exuded a quiet sense of affluence.
Looking across the table, Serena found the Empress of Cascadia looking back at her. At least, through painted eyes. “What made you choose that incarnation?” she asked Father, nodding towards the painting.
“The horns,” he replied, sitting next to her. “Your grandfather had horns that curved back like that, a sign of his southern heritage. Also, her black hair reminds me of my beautiful daughters, even when they cause me endless trouble.”
Serena eyed the painting. The dignified and stoic depiction of the Divine Empress consciously made her straighten her posture and raise her chin. She wouldn’t volunteer the information, but when she was in the academy, she would study paintings of the Empress and try to capture the feeling of power and control that the Imperial figure seemed to exude no matter what medium depicted her.
While she pondered the painting, the door opened, and a group of employees bowed quickly before entering and busying themselves with tasks. Drinks were poured, cutlery was placed, and candles were lit. Eyeing the bottle before her, she raised an eyebrow at her father. “More red loqua?”
“A celebration!” he replied enthusiastically. “You made Cascadian Lord! Red loqua is the least we could do! I’ll throw a grand dinner when we’re next in Asamaywa, invite all the local lords…” Serena nodded but made a mental note to tell her father in the future to ensure any potential guests knew that she was not in the market for a husband. In the past, she’d already begun avoiding social events due to the persistent attempts at wooing her, and it would only become worse now she was a full lord.
“I hope that’s juice,” Serena said, motioning to the bottle of blue loqua set down where Lani would be seated. She hoped her father's spoiling of her little sister didn’t go as far as providing her with alcohol.
“Hrmph! What kind of father do you take me for? Although…” He leaned towards Serena and spoke quietly, “She’s almost at that age where her friends might pressure her to drink at the academy. I was hoping you could have a few words with her. She does look up to-” He was cut off as the doors opened again. “Ah, Lani! And…”
Behind Lani, a familiar bundle of blond hair and now-crimson eyes appeared. Serena and her Father stood up as Amelia entered the room. “Speaker Thornheart! Please, sit!” he gestured towards the seat opposite Serena and next to Lani. “I hope Lani has been behaving herself,” he said, earning a stuck-out tongue from the cheeky little sister.
“Lani! Manners!” Serena barked before narrowing her eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Uh… sitting down?” Lani replied.
“Sitting down at the table before Speaker Thornheart has sat down? Are they teaching you anything at the academy?” Serena crossed her arms and cast a medium-level glare at her little sister, who only half-rolled her eyes in response.
Well, a half-roll meant Lani had gotten more polite, if only by a fraction.
“Of course, how unconventional of me,” Lani spun around, facing Amelia. “Speaker Thornheart, my deepest apologies.” Amelia looked back and forth awkwardly before sliding into the chair opposite Serena with an expression she knew meant Amelia was uncomfortable but putting on a brave face. After Amelia was settled, Serena and her father followed, and then Lani finally sat down.
“No need to call me Speaker Thornheart!” Amelia chirped after a moment of quiet. “You’re all welcome to call me Amelia. In fact, I’d prefer it!”
“How considerate, Speaker-ahem, Amelia,” Father began, correcting himself with a polite cough. “Then please also call me by my name. Dalinar.” At this, Amelia beamed and immediately appeared more comfortable. Serena sighed inwardly, Amelia really didn’t hide her emotions or feelings at all. Anyone could read her like an open book, which was both a boon and a curse.
Serena resisted a side glance at her father. He was being unusually docile. He’d never liked discussing it, but Serena always knew he disapproved of her disposition. It was somewhat surprising he had accepted the situation so readily. He had barely given her any pushback during their earlier conversation and was treating Amelia like an honoured guest.
The more she thought about it, the more it made perfect sense. Her father was, above everything else, a pragmatist and a rationalist. Despite the political fallout of House Halen publically supporting a human Speaker, and the inevitable loss of business as a result, the benefits of even being slightly supported by a Second Word Speaker were far greater. It was almost equivalent to the eastern overlord breaking his usual political neutrality and publically supporting a single house above all others.
Even though Amelia was connected to House Halen indirectly through Serena, her father, who was an expert at navigating Cascadian nobility, would be able to maximise his gains while hopefully avoiding the risk of Amelia’s ire. If it was ten years ago, her father might have disowned Serena for her actions. Now, the fire in his horns had cooled enough for these events to only cause a little friction between them.
The house employees appeared again with the first course, a delicate fruitbread that etiquette dictated precisely how it was supposed to be eaten. Amelia had a good go, and Serena felt a little proud at her lessons bearing fruit.
Unfortunately, Lani disagreed.
“Not like that! Amelia, watch me!” Lani demonstrated and began giving Amelia an impromptu lesson on how to cut fruitbread as a proper lady. Serena watched her little sister with some amusement. Lani seemed to be trying to take a big-sister role, which didn’t make much sense considering Amelia was ten years Lani’s senior. Nevertheless, it was a sweet gesture, and Amelia seemed happy to play along.
It was nice to see Amelia make a friend. Especially a friend that Serena knew wasn’t a spy in disguise. Tsk! She resisted twitching with annoyance. Serena needed to have another conversation with Amelia about Polina. She still struggled to understand why Amelia was so determined to protect someone who had attempted to harm her. If it weren’t for Serena’s absolute confidence in Amelia’s loyalty towards herself, she would have been inclined to describe her girlfriend’s actions as a betrayal.
Still, she tried to remember that Amelia wasn’t in her right mind, having been transformed by the Second Word, and that her girlfriend was from a separate realm with common sense that was completely unlike anything found in Cascadia. Amelia held an underlying belief system that was foreign to Serena. She struggled to wrap her mind around it, but it was slowly starting to make sense or, at the very least, become predictable.
It would be a difficult conversation for both of them and, unfortunately, something that a captain couldn't ignore. Amelia’s actions were the kind that might endanger the crew of the Vengeance and therefore Serena needed to understand them fully. Even more problematic was that when they had that future conversation, Amelia would demand that Serena explain the incident that motivated Polina.
“Serena?” someone asked, and Serena blinked, looking around. She had become lost in her own thoughts.
“Apologies, it’s been a long day,” she said. “What did I miss?”
“Father says there’s something you have to announce!” Lani prompted. What did she- oh. Serena cleared her throat and delivered the news of her sanctioned lordship to her little sister, who squealed in delight and bounced in her seat. “Everyone at the academy is going to be so jealous! Rion keeps bragging because his Father communed another Word last semester, but this will easily overshadow him! Teehee…”
They finished the fruitbread and soon after the main course arrived. It wasn’t a manwese dish, but rather fried choco with a balanced variety of vegetables. It was a dish you could expect to see in Centralis rather than the East. Did her father know about Amelia’s preference towards the chicken-like meat? Probably.
“This is new!” exclaimed Lani. “Have you ever had this before, Amelia?”
“Mmm!” Amelia elegantly placed a forkful into her mouth. The illusion of etiquette fell apart when a rather un-ladylike moan escaped her lips, making Serena sigh and Lani giggle. Despite the mistake, Amelia pushed through and simply declared her compliments must be passed on to the chef.
Small talk continued through the main course. Father appeared to be content with probing only lightly, something Serena was thankful for. One lapse in judgement and Amelia would blurt out, well, something Amelia-like.
“Have you thought about what path you would take in the future?” Father asked as the employees removed their plates. “Surely a Speaker of your talents wouldn’t be satisfied with spending years on a military ship?”
“Mmm!” Amelia eyes shone with excitement. “I’d like to go travelling! I’d like to see the Shattered Isles! I’d like to visit the Southern Terra Firma, where people ride windlizards across the desert! Oh, I always want to visit Centralis and see the skull of the Titan they found!” Amelia punctuated each statement by unfurling another finger. “Also, I want to see the Cathedral of Bone! And then maybe go to the far West and see how they grow loqua berries! Oh! I always want to go to the North, where…” Amelia continued for a solid minute, lost in her future travel itinerary. Amazingly, she seemed to have remembered every single point of interest in the Empire that Serena mentioned in the last six weeks.
When her girlfriend wasn’t being a disaster, she often demonstrated a razor-sharp mind that reminded Serena of Nina.
“What an adventurous spirit! In my youth, I dreamt about sailing over the eastern sky-rift to unknown lands yonder…” He took a polite sip of the red loqua. “However, after marrying my dear wife, such desires subsided…”
“Mmm!” Amelia nodded enthusiastically. “I heard some sailors in Kenhoro talk about it. Apparently, there’s a whole other continent! Full of riches and treasures!”
“Really!?” Lani piped up. “Riches and treasures!”
“Yeah! And not just new lands, but entire new races! Like dwarves!”
“D-dwarves!? What are they?” Lani turned towards Amelia, raptured by the fantasy and caught up in the whirlwind of Amelia’s enthusiasm.
“They’re a race of shorty, stocky people who live in the earth and mine all day!” Amelia explained with a cheeky grin. “They’re expert craftsmen who can produce jewels and weapons that are far stronger than anything humans or demons can make!”
“W-whoa!” Lani exclaimed, eyes widening. “I… I want to go there! I want to be an adventurer! Dad!” She turned, her eyes wide like a peeka begging for more food. “Dad! Buy me a ship and a crew! I want to explore the unknown lands!”
“Hmm…” Father began, prompting Serena to roll her eyes.
“No one’s buying anyone a ship, are they, Father?”
“Oh… no, of course not. Lani, stop asking for preposterous things!”
“...Boring…” Lani muttered, crossing her arms. Her sulking didn’t last long, as she turned to Amelia and asked, “Hey, do you have a boyfriend!?” Amelia looked surprised for a moment, before glancing at Serena with a mischievous glint in her eye.
Be careful, or I’ll punish you later, Serena communicated to Amelia with a hard stare.
Mmm! I’ll enjoy it! Came the crimson-eyed reply.
“No, I don’t!” Amelia replied, “but… you could say there’s someone special…”
“Who… who is it!” Lani almost yelled as she moved into full teenage gossip mode.
“I couldn’t say…” Amelia said sheepishly. “Although, I can tell you they-”
“Ah!” Serena blurted out quickly, cutting Amelia’s sentence in half. “Dessert!”
“Yes!” Father called out. The pair of them quickly formed a firm alliance to end this line of Lani-questioning. “Lani, it’s your favourite! Cheesecake!”
“Cheesecake?” Lani replied with a frown. “I like it, but it’s not my favourite…”
“Is it not…? Oh, that’s right, it’s Nina’s favourite…”
“Tsk! Stupid Father!” Lani crossed her arms, looking away dramatically. As the critical blow sent her father reeling, Serena smoothly moved into angry-big-sister mode.
“Lani! Apologise!” She barked, glaring at Lani until her little sister shrivelled and muttered an apology. How much was Father spoiling her! Not only did she need to talk with Lani about alcohol and talk with Amelia about all kinds of stuff, but now she was going to have to lecture her own father!
If only Mother were here, she thought quietly.
They ate the cheesecake in a complementive silence, until Amelia piped up with, “Actually, there is one thing I’ve been thinking of doing…” She paused until everyone’s attention was focused on her. “Given my capabilities as, you know… a healer. I was wondering if it were possible for me to visit hospitals and similar locations?”
“Visit… hospitals?” Father queried.
“Yeah! You see, I have quite a lot of aether and can heal a decent number of people, even without Speaking,” Amelia said, wiggling awkwardly in her seat. “So I was thinking if I could arrange to visit local hospitals with the greatlords of each city. I don’t mean to make it a public event or anything! I just think it’s a little unfair to have all this healing power and not use it…”
Serena’s mind quickly churned over all the possible scenarios such a path would take, and unsurprisingly, they all ended with her clutching her horns. A side glance at her father told her his mind was also coming to the same conclusion.
“Such a thing…” Father began, “would likely end up painting a target on both your own and Serena’s back. It would upturn the political structure of Cascadia. Demonkind has no gods of healing, and if you became a saint of the East, which you would if you undertook such a path, it would lead to an internal conflict between the territories.”
“So it’s not possible?” Amelia asked with a dejected expression. “Is there any way it could work?”
“Something like this would need to be sanctioned by the Empress.” Both Father and Serena glanced at the painting on the wall. “Only then could it be done without triggering chaos. And for that, you’ll need citizenship. Speaking of…” he turned to address Lani. “Lani, would you retire for tonight? I have matters of import to discuss with Amelia.”
“But…” Lani protested but quickly quieted down, seeing the combined stare of both Serena and Father. “Fine… Night everyone! Amelia! Tomorrow I’ll show you around the gardens, okay?”
“Okay!” Amelia flashed Lani her characteristic thumbs-up and the little sister bounced out of the room. When she was gone,the house employees cleaned the table and Father had one of them fetch him a thick brown envelope. After they left he handed the envelope to Amelia.
“An offer of Cascadian citizenship,” he said plainly. “As a Speaker, you’ll also become a Lord-Prospect should you accept, which is why there are so many documents. You’ll have to understand and memorise many regulations and laws.”
“Great!” Amelia chirped, flipping to the last page. “Where do I sign!?”
“Tsk!” Serena clicked her tongue, barely withholding calling Amelia an idiot. She snatched the documents from her and began flicking through them herself. “Don’t sign anything until we’ve both read and understood it fully.” She turned to Father. “Was the Dragon involved in writing this offer?”
“Ahem,” her father coughed into his hand. “Highlord Corvus. You know how he dislikes being called the Dragon. On that matter, there are two things; firstly, yes, he was instrumental in the construction of the offer. I think you’ll find it extra generous as consideration was given to Amelia’s exceptional talents.”
“Hehe…” Amelia smiled.
“Secondly, he’s arriving here tomorrow, so be on your best behaviour.”
“The Dragon’s coming to Shimashina?” Serena struggled to keep the dislike out of her voice.
“No, he’s already in Shimashina. He’s coming here tomorrow. He’s coming to give you your new orders. Orders which-” he continued quickly, seeing the protest forming in Serena’s mouth, “come straight from Greatlord Oshiro.”
“...I see.” Satisfied, Serena began skimming the papers and as she did so, she realised how tired she was. She glanced at the wall clock. It was eleven minutes past eleven. “I’ll go through this tomorrow. It’s getting late, and we’ve had a long day.”
“Ah? Oh, of course!” Father stood up. “Amelia, your company has been a pleasure. Did Lani show you your room?”
“Yeah!” Amelia said, “It’s really nice, thank you!”
“I shall leave you both and retire myself. Highlord Corvus is expected midday tomorrow, so please ensure you’re available at that time.” He bowed in Amelia’s direction before excusing himself. Just like that, they were alone.
For a few moments, neither of them said anything.
“Citizenship!” Amelia blurted out. “Hehe! They offered me citizenship! I can’t wait to accept!” Unable to contain her glee Amelia jumped from her chair and spun around the room.
“We’re going to thoroughly go through this tomorrow morning,” Serena declared, standing up and approaching Amelia. “Right now though, I’m honestly exhausted. I just want to sleep. Shall we?”
“Mmm!” Amelia nodded, and Serena led her upstairs. Amelia’s prepared room was opposite her own. They lingered in the hallway awkwardly.
“Well…” Serena began before being cut short from receiving a tight embrace. They held each other in the dark corridor for a dozen seconds.
“Does he know?” Amelia whispered.
“Yes,” Serena whispered back.
“He seemed… okay?”
“He’s a pragmatist. He knows fighting it wouldn’t solve anything.”
“Did I make a good impression?”
Serena softly laughed. After everything, it was these matters that Amelia cared about the most. “I think so,” she said, rubbing Amelia’s head. “We should sleep… we can’t linger here too long.” If a random house employee appeared, it would be a little awkward.
“Different rooms?” Amelia asked quietly.
“Afraid so, best not to rock the ship just yet.”
“Okay…” Serena felt the cool touch of Amelia’s lips on her neck. “Goodnight, Ren.” As usual, the sweetness of their goodnights calmed her mind.
“Goodnight, Lia,” she said, giving Amelia a small kiss on the forehead.
With a final squeeze, Amelia pulled away and they both retreated to their assigned rooms. Serena changed into her night clothes while her senses told her Amelia was doing the same. She clambered into bed, hearing Amelia follow along in her own room. Soon, Serena was breathing softly while the house became quiet and dark. As the night stretched on, the aetherlights dimmed, and only the subtle light of the blue moon blanketed the house. Eventually, while she lay there on the comfy mattress, she realised one thing.
She couldn’t get to sleep!
Without Amelia in her arms, the bed felt empty and cold! The room felt too quiet without the sound of Amelia’s soft breathing and gentle heartbeat. Serena sighed, turning and trying to force her mind to rest. If she had any talent in the Kanaxai branch she could cast a sleep spell upon herself. Surely she would fall asleep eventually, after all-
Oh, what was that?
The distinctive sound of rustling from Amelia’s room, followed by a small yawn and the pitter-patter of feet. Amelia’s door opened and closed as quietly as the woman could manage. A few more footsteps sounded, along with a creaking floorboard. Then, the smallest of knocks on the door.
Serena sighed in resignation. She climbed out of bed, strode over to the door and pulled it open. Beyond which was a yawning Amelia with fuzzy bed hair and a sleepy expression.
“Sorry,” she began. “I just can’t sleep with- eee!” Amelia squealed as Serena pulled her into the room and shut the door. Before Amelia could say anything, Serena bent down, picked her girlfriend up and carried her over to the bed where she was placed under the covers.
“Make sure Lani or Father don’t see you in the morning,” Serena commanded as she clambered under the sheets and pulled Amelia tight against her. “Now, no talking. Let’s sleep.”
“O-okay!” Amelia whispered frantically, placing a hand over Serena’s and wiggling so she was comfortable. She didn’t have much room to manoeuvre as Serena pulled her tight against her body, her face nuzzling Amelia’s neck. It wasn’t their usual sleeping position, but right now, she simply wanted to feel closer to Amelia.
It took a while, but eventually Amelia’s breathing slowed and as it did so her heartbeat followed. Serena could feel the rhythmic beating through her hand and focused upon it until half an hour had passed and she was certain Amelia had fallen asleep.
Finally, she could say something she had only come to admit to herself recently.
“I… love you,” Serena whispered in the quietest voice she could manage. Her whisper faded into nothing, and Serena thought that would be the end of it until she felt Amelia’s heartbeat triple its speed.
Serena let out a soft groan.
“...You weren’t asleep, were you?” she asked softly.
“Nope!” came the reply, thoroughly dripping with glee.