Am I (Not) a Hero?

[Peter's POV]

"Your turn, Parker. Hands up!" 

I threw the ball. 

It slipped through the hoop and hung to one side. 

"Close. The moment you stopped staring at the girls, you started playing better. I swear, I'm going to make a basketball player out of you."

I returned to the back of the line by the hoop and heard mockery.

"What's wrong, Pity the Wheezer, can't hit the hole? I'm not surprised; you've only seen a 'hole' in your biology book." 

Flash laughed.

I sometimes forget that they're literally just kids. 

'They are dumb and cruel, but kids nonetheless. Who else would mock someone for being a virgin? How should I respond? Well, apparently, a mom joke will suffice.'

"Your mom didn't complain! Go out and play until dark today. Mrs. Thompson asked me to drop you by." 

I gestured with my hand like "shoo-shoo" eliciting laughter from the class.

The audience doesn't care who they're laughing at because they just want a show. 

Flash endured a brief moment of humiliation from those who had just laughed at me.

"Damn it! Shut up!" 

He threw the ball at my head. 

That's exactly what I expected, and I quickly crouched down, narrowly dodging it.

"Flash! If you throw anything at Parker again, you'll be sitting in the supply closet inflating balls. What if you broke his glasses and damaged his eyes?"

"Ozborn would just chip in for his treatment." 

He shrugged with a smug grin.

That's how the lesson ended, and we headed to the showers to freshen up. We had one shower in our school, and it was always broken while I was there.

The last two art classes were postponed due to a field trip, and we went toward the bus. 

However, they couldn't move gym class so we wouldn't be tired as dogs?

'Although, maybe that was the plan? It's easier to control kids when they aren't bursting with energy.'

I was pleasantly surprised when Jessica sitting next to me. 

Meanwhile, I scanned my classmates, but Betty wasn't among them. She had been there all day because her friend didn't want to come with us. 

'Choosing another loner to sit with. I get it. If she picked the most unsociable one in our class, Peter definitely won that title.'

The trip promised to be long, and I didn't feel like finishing my book. 

Science is interesting, but I prefer fantasy more.

'What kind of fantasy? With time travelers? Here, choke on this crap.' 

I sarcastically replied to myself and sighed heavily.

"Are you interested in what they do at Oscorp? Or are you just going for the ride?" 

After a few minutes of boredom, I tried to start a conversation with Jessica.

"I'd like to see Oscorp from the inside. My dad works at Stark Industries, so I've seen that already." 

She added a bit quieter. 

"Though I'm not really into technology and experiments."

"They would've dragged me on the tour anyway; I'm the school photographer, after all." 

I pointed to the camera around my neck. 

"I don't know what they promise will be worth hanging on the wall, but I have to take some pictures for appearances' sake. At least I won't have to sit through art classes."

"Right. 'Today we're drawing Captain America. In the next lesson, we'll write a monologue from Captain America's perspective.'" 

She mocked the teacher. 

"She's obsessed with him. It's not healthy behavior, seriously."

"Exactly. It feels like there are no other heroes from the war against the Nazis." 

I agreed.

"Yeah, at least the android Human Torch. By the way, have you heard that Johnny Storm took his name?" 

She became a little more lively.

"Well, who hasn't heard of the Fantastic Four?"

'As far as Peter knew, they hadn't yet taken down Doctor Doom in a group.'

"Yeah, they're amazing! I wish I could be a superhero too. Save people and be famous." 

I didn't expect to see a smile on that gloomy face.

"Being a hero isn't easy, Jessie." 

I shook my head. 

"It's not just about swooping in and saving the day at the last moment like in a comic. Sometimes, you can't save everyone… and you have to decide who lives and who dies. That's a responsibility. No one likes to take on responsibility. Living a double life if you don't want someone to harm your family. Problems…"

"And I'm the one they call a pessimist. I'm just dreaming, not being serious." 

She pouted.

"We live in a strange world; you have to be careful even with your dreams. Anything can shatter your life, suddenly exploding in your face." 

I shook my head, remembering how most characters gained their abilities.

"Ugh, here I am in black and made up like a goth." 

She pointed at herself. 

"Couldn't you be even gloomier so I look as cheerful as possible next to you?"

"We're not like this; life is like this." 

I smiled. 

"But really, what superpowers would you want?"

"Hmm, it's hard to come up with something right away. Probably Superman's abilities would be enough." 

She pondered. 

"What about you?"

"Controlling electricity. Like a Sith." 

I jokingly extended my hand. 

"To torture enemies and sluggish allies also regeneration, of course."

"A Sith? So you want to be a villain?" 

She asked playfully.

"Not a villain. A cool guy who doesn't refuse to use dirty methods in the fight against crime. The regular people love him, friends respect and fear him, and the authorities see him as a threat. But you don't care; you're just a badass. An antihero." 

I expressed one of those teenage fantasies that still hadn't faded.

"You're quite the dreamer too." 

She scoffed. 

"But I like how that sounds. Pretty cool. Would you work in a team or alone?"

"Hmm… tough to say. I'd definitely want to have a couple of brilliant scientists in my secret lair, but working with other superheroes? Probably, yeah. But how do superhero teams form? They fight together against a threat, and if their ideologies don't contradict, they decide to keep working together. It's not like you suddenly become a superhero, and your friend does too. Bam, and you're a team."

"Ahem, the Fantastic Four." 

She reminded me.

"You think they don't have conflicts? Just take the Thing…"

"That's Ben Grimm." 

She interrupted.

"Sounds rude. Not only is he no longer a human, but his nickname is ugly too. If it were up to me, he'd be the Rock-Man. He had a family and maybe a beloved woman."

"He was engaged… though no, just engaged."

"You really know a lot about them." 

I was surprised. 

"He had a normal life and now he's this huge stone thing that can't use normal objects. He gets into an elevator but can't press a remote or phone button. He can't even pass through a normal door. Everyone else got a gift, and he got a curse. Ben Grimm is a good guy, but sooner or later, he's going to have a breakdown."

'How easy it is to sound smart when you've already seen that movie…'

"I think I agree with you on this." 

A voice sounded from above, making me jump in fright.

"Ah, it's you."

I said, seeing half of Cindy's face peeking over the back of the front seat.

"Are you comfortable sitting like that?"

"Not really, but I'm bored too."

"Then join the conversation, Cindy; don't hold back."

I noticed Jesse pouting her lips disapprovingly at my words.

"While Johnny Storm is showing off in front of the cameras, The Thing has to sit in the Baxter Building and can't step outside without making a scene. I also think their team might fall apart."

She explained her point of view.

"He's not showing off in front of the cameras." 

Jesse grumbled.

"Oh, come on, the whole internet knows he signed up for an extreme motocross competition. Why is he so popular? He did a few good deeds, but that doesn't make him a real hero. They basically provoked that situation on the bridge themselves."

"Cindy, don't you understand? He's just a cocky, self-assured pretty boy who can turn into a fire guy. Of course, he's going to have a bunch of fan girls. It's not the same as bringing justice in the dark behind a mask of anonymity."

"However, the Human Torch has actually saved a few people from fires, while Batman is just a fictional character." 

Jessie said, ready to defend her heroes. 

"And I'm not a fan."

"I won't argue. He has a couple of good deeds to his name, but his popularity is so inflated… Daredevil does a hundred times more for Hell's Kitchen. Still, getting superpowers from a cosmic storm is an unusual case, and people need something to talk about. I'm more interested in why there's been no news from Victor Von Doom. He was on that flight too." 

However, I said something silly to distract them from spoilers about Doom. 

"Ah, I wish I could also be a hot, handsome guy with superpowers and give autographs on fan girls' chests."

"You wouldn't have enough money for a tour in a cosmic storm." 

Jesse said.

"Yeah, and to pay for the plastic surgeon's fees." 

Cindy added.

"Thanks, I really needed that humiliation from girls. I think Allan has gotten too relaxed." 

I said, resting my forehead against the seat.

"Watson is trying to make her a little less of a Queen of the Bitches," 

Jesse said. 

"Good luck with that."

"Yeah, she's going to need it. And, uh… don't take offense, Peter, I was just joking about the plastic surgeon. But you should definitely change those glasses." 

Cindy scoffed.

The trip passed at that pace. 

We talked a little more about superpowers, heroes, how much of a jerk Flash is, and all that. 

It was time to get off before we knew it, but my heart was pounding incredibly hard. 

I felt like I was jumping into an abyss. 

An abyss from which there would be no way out. 

Do or die.

The tour guide was saying something, but I barely listened.

"We are the corporation' Oscorp Industries.' Since the '70s, our scientists have… blah-blah-blah… quality certificates… blah-blah-blah… worldwide recognition… blah-blah-blah."

I was clicking pictures of the lab's interesting objects and tried not to look back. 

Whatever will be, will be. 

This is the Marvel world. 

Either you live as a hero or die in a boring, normal life, and I want to live. 

Dying is painful and scary, and then it's dark.

"These are our genetically modified spiders. We took the liberty of crossbreeding existing species to create new ones that are more beneficial to humans. To date, science counts over forty thousand species… blah-blah-blah."

He pointed to the terrariums with spiders.

"These spiders are unique specimens, artificially created in our laboratory. Though they weren't created by nature, but by us, they are still viable… blah-blah-blah… The creator of 'Oscorp Industries,' Norman Osborn, named this project 'Arachne' in honor of the myth of the legendary weaver turned into a spider by the goddess Athena. Does anyone know what this myth is about?"

I raised my hand and answered.

"It's about how the gods cannot quell their pride and accept the ability of humans to surpass them."

"Your answer would please our boss, young man." 

The lab tour guide nodded. 

"Let's move on to the next hall…"

As soon as most of the students moved away from the terrariums, I decided to snap one last picture. 

Then, a heavy feeling appeared on my hand as I brought the camera up to my face. 

It was a large furry spider with two bright orange circles on its abdomen and red and blue dots in it. 

I froze, paralyzed, until that thing bit me.

"Ow, damn it!" 

I flailed my arm, sending the spider flying. 

I felt something moving through my blood and pain shooting through my veins, and the pain reached my heart, with my vision darkened.

I thought I was going to fall, but Jessi who had been walking behind me, supported me on my feet.

"Peter, are you okay? Did it bite you?"

She asked anxiously.

I covered the bite with my palm so she didn't see it. 

A woman's scream and a cry of pain sounded behind us, causing us to turn. 

She let go of my shoulders when she realized I wasn't going to fall. She then took a slow step toward the girls.

The spider sat on Gwen Stacy's collarbone after having bitten her.

Mary Jane tried to swat it away with a sharp yet brave motion, but the spider jumped off and clung to someone's bare ankle. 

Then there was another scream and cry, and this time, the victim was furiously stomping her feet to get rid of the spider. 

The spider gave in to the earthquake caused by fear and fell and was ruthlessly crushed.

"That thing was huge..."

"Did someone get bitten?"

"Parker is screaming like a girl. Did the spider pinch his balls or what?" 

"Flash, can't you just shut up for once? You can't pass for smart anymore, but at least stop digging your own grave."

I removed the camera strap from my neck and wrapped it around my arm while Jessi and the others stared at the remnants of the spider.

The teacher responsible for us approached the bitten girls, who clearly didn't feel as bad as I did, with black spots flashing in my vision. 

I tightened the strap, feeling a sobering pain.

"There were no deadly poisonous spiders among these samples, so there's no need to panic. At most, you'll feel some numbness for a couple of hours." 

The tour guide said soothingly, raising his hands.

"And someone will be fired today for letting that specimen slip through…" 

He whispered almost with satisfaction.

The teacher approached me while I was trying not to sway.

"Peter, honey, did you get bitten too?"

"No," 

I shook my head.

"I just got scared. Did you see how big it was?!" 

I didn't even need to pretend because I was sure my face was whiter than chalk.

I knew that the blood drawn for analysis would be stolen, and Oscorp would do something with it. 

I wasn't sure when the numerous Spider-Man clones would be created, but I'd rather skip that phase. 

Or would it happen later? 

My consciousness was fading again.

The tour was quickly wrapped up, and we were led to the buses. The girls were taken for a check-up by the local accident specialist. 

The girls were not in danger, according to the early results. 

The bites were treated, band-aids were applied, and the wounds were wrapped.

I nodded, acknowledging that I was fine too. 

Hm… strange, they didn't take any blood from me… Did I mix something up?

"Peter, you look worse than both of them put together. Go see the doctor."

Jessi whispered in my ear.

"I'm fine; it's the same spider." 

I replied. 

"Not even poisonous."

"Please, Pete."

She looked at me pleadingly, and she definitely saw the bite…

"I'm fine; it's mostly just from the scare." 

I lied to her so she would finally leave me alone.

"Arachnophobia… and all that."

Afterwards, we went onto the bus and drove to the nearest stops. 

Before sleeping, Mary Jane stopped me and asked if the spider had bitten me like Gwen. 

I replied no, just a little scared, and then she took my hand and dragged me to our seats next to Jessi.

I sank into the uncomfortable seat with my eyelids growing heavy. 

I got into the most uncomfortable position and talked about all kinds of stuff with Jessica while trying to remember to avoid falling asleep.

She often shook me by the shoulder, not letting me fall asleep, which helped a bit. 

How did I endure this bus ride from hell? 

I'm not exactly sure. 

I just remember Jessi walking me all the way to the doorstep of my home.

After telling Aunt May I was tired, I went to sleep, feeling worn out.

The last memory before I blacked out was pain. I had never felt it so… vividly. 

The acceptance of someone else's memories, even one's own death. 

It's nothing compared to this. 

It twisted my bones, muscles, joints, and everything that was left unnoticed by my fading consciousness as well. 

It was as if someone decided to play with my body like a construction set.

It felt like my heart had stopped beating a few times. 

I couldn't even scream or wheeze; I just opened my mouth silently until I lost consciousness.

...

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