Alpha Trauma

However, for the first time, he received affection without any purpose behind it. He met someone who gave purely without expecting anything in return. Whenever he saw his reflection in those clear eyes, he felt wrapped in the illusion that he was somehow a remarkable person.Six hours a week. Even if packed into a single day, it was barely half a day. He showered Wooyeon with attention as if watering barren ground. He opened his once-closed heart and gradually expanded his presence.And so, two weeks passed. In just two weeks, Dohyeon had figured out most things about Wooyeon — like his strained relationship with Suhyang, his subtle pickiness with food, his low self-esteem but high pride.As he first sensed, Wooyeon wasn’t just a naive child. The attention Suhyang had given, which Dohyeon had once envied, ultimately left Wooyeon feeling isolated and lonely. He was young, clumsy, fragile, withering away without even realizing he was lonely.That must have been why Wooyeon responded so joyfully to even Dohyeon’s smallest remarks, like a child. He was moved by small kindnesses and craved affection as if starved of it.What started as mere curiosity shifted to concern. The guilt he had been ignoring slowly grew. Knowing he should stop, Dohyeon ultimately ignored Suhyang’s warning.It was the first day of a festival at twenty. A day when he couldn’t tutor, a day when Wooyeon hadn’t replied. Just as he grew anxious, he received a call from Suhyang, and the message wasn’t welcome.“I pulled Wooyeon out of school early. He hates being alone, but unfortunately, there’s no one home. Can you check on him?”The commanding tone and dismissal of his schedule didn’t matter. What mattered were the words about Wooyeon hating to be alone and that there was no one home.Throughout his shift at the club pub, Dohyeon couldn’t hide his anxiety. He tucked himself into the back, busying himself with recycling and cleaning that didn’t really need doing. He acted so jittery that Minjung, who had kicked everyone else out of the kitchen, overlooked him.“Go on. Didn’t you say you had a part-time job?”As soon as Minjung spoke, Dohyeon rushed to Wooyeon. He didn’t have time to fix his hair flattened by his hat or change out of the T-shirt emblazoned with “Romantic Pub.”And at the house where he dashed, Dohyeon ultimately crossed a line into Wooyeon’s heart.“Sir… Hic…”He’d seen plenty of people cry. At the orphanage, younger kids cried all the time, and later, past partners had shed tears. But no one had ever thrown him off like this.“What’s wrong, Yeon-ah? Are you okay?”Dohyeon sat down beside Wooyeon, patting his trembling back. Seeing him cry like a child turned his mind blank.“Are you hurt? Look at me, okay?”Only after some time did Wooyeon stop crying. Out of breath, he didn’t even realize his glasses had slipped off. Dohyeon wiped his tear-streaked face and placed a hand on his round forehead.“Are you done crying?”Wooyeon had a faint baby scent, a scent from the lotion he used, given his sensitive skin. The soft fragrance lingered deeper than any pheromone, tugging at his heart.“You don’t seem to be in pain…”Then their eyes met. Wooyeon inhaled, his face flushed. The blossoming emotion he witnessed up close was unmistakable.He was only sixteen. A naive kid yet to fully bloom. Someone who shouldn’t and couldn’t harbor romantic feelings.Dohyeon knew he had done something wrong. He should have drawn a line, but he hadn’t. He should have kept his distance, but he had drawn closer. Knowing this would lead to affection, he hadn’t known how to push Wooyeon away, so he kept him close.“Are you okay now?”But Dohyeon was simply worried. He was afraid something might happen, afraid he might be in pain, afraid he might sink into loneliness. Even if someone called it arrogance, he was Wooyeon’s only support.From that day onward, Dohyeon noticed Wooyeon’s feelings growing daily. With each day, his gaze changed, his face shifted. With no one to apply the brakes, Wooyeon had no way to stop.To be honest, it wasn’t unpleasant. No, it even made him happy. He had become someone special, a unique, precious guide in Wooyeon’s life. Though it wasn’t the first time someone liked him, he indulged in Wooyeon’s sincere affection.“I like you, sir.”But on the day Wooyeon confessed, Dohyeon finally admitted his mistake. Leaving his feelings unchecked had led to a responsibility he now had to bear.And at the same time, he realized.“Yeon-ah.”It wasn’t Wooyeon wrapped in blind affection; it was him. Though he knew Wooyeon was helplessly drawn in, he’d ignored it, reveling in the occasional feeling of superiority. It was he who had become absorbed, yet he had deceived himself into thinking he was the one in control.“I’m going to the army.”Twenty-year-old Dohyeon had no idea how to resist the sweetness he’d tasted for the first time. It wasn’t simply a matter of romantic feelings but a sense of urgency that gripped his heart. Having indulged in pure affection, he felt sure he wouldn’t be able to break free if he continued.“…I’m sorry.”Whether Wooyeon heard that apology or not, Dohyeon didn’t know. He quit tutoring and changed his number, cutting off contact. It was clearly an act of avoidance, but he couldn’t think of any other solution. When he told Suhyang he was done, she let him go without protest.Every meeting is bound to an indefinite farewell. No relationship lasts forever, no emotion promises eternity. They’re all fleeting, uncertain things.At the time, Dohyeon thought it was a permanent goodbye.* * *Through the window, dawn was breaking. The rage that had once felt like it would explode had softened to a faint light. Dohyeon blinked his dry eyes a few times, covering his eyes with one hand.“Hah…”Despite staying up all night, his mind was perfectly clear. Reflecting repeatedly on Wooyeon’s retreating figure had somehow allowed him to regain some composure. Although there hadn’t been any contact from Suhyang, that detail wasn’t particularly important.Dohyeon rose from the sofa and headed into the bathroom. His plan was to wash up and get to school early. Since driving wasn’t an option, he’d take a light walk to clear his head, and perhaps he’d catch sight of Wooyeon in front of the lecture hall.“You’re too late, sir.”“…”Cold water poured down from the showerhead. Even though he was soaked from head to toe, Dohyeon stood there, dazed under the stream. The pheromones that had been churning nonstop subsided calmly to the floor.Since meeting Wooyeon, every moment was consumed by regret. Every memory taunted Dohyeon with a past he knew but hadn’t been able to change. The lies he’d piled up to cover his mistakes had only created a bigger hole.In truth, Dohyeon wasn’t without excuses. If he wanted, there were plenty of ways to persuade Wooyeon. Just like before, he could find countless ways to escape this situation.But he had no reason to think Wooyeon would trust him again if he did. The bitter remnants of this mess would eventually erupt, and they still had a mountain to climb together.“I don’t even know why you like me.”“…”“I don’t know how long you’ll keep liking me, either…”Sensing Wooyeon’s fears, Dohyeon realized the boy must have mistaken his hesitant steps, taken out of fear of abandonment, as a difference in feelings. Wooyeon probably believed Dohyeon held all the power, while he was merely a subordinate.“There are probably plenty of people who’d be glad to have you, even if it’s not me…”He understood what Wooyeon was afraid of. The boy was scared that this relationship was just a fleeting wind, terrified that it might eventually vanish. So he’d hesitated, too scared to muster the courage, not knowing what Dohyeon’s words had meant.“You’re the only one I like.”It wasn’t just an empty phrase. If Wooyeon had only Dohyeon, then Dohyeon had only Wooyeon. Being without a choice and having no choice but to choose — the difference between them was deeper than Wooyeon realized.“What do I even do…?”With his head bowed low, Dohyeon closed his eyes. Water dripped continuously from his drenched hair. In the blackness behind his eyelids, he saw Wooyeon walking away once more.That wasn’t the first time he’d seen that retreating figure. Just a few months before, on the day of the freshman welcome party, he’d watched him leave.It had been a painfully cold winter in February.* * *Dohyeon wasn’t the type to be heavily involved in school activities, especially for a student with good grades. Somehow, he had ended up as the club president, though not by choice. He’d attend a drink or two but rarely participated in department events.“They’re nagging me to come…”That day, he’d gone to the freshman welcome party solely because Garam had called him. Normally, he’d ignore such requests, but Garam’s polite plea for him to just show up at the gathering was something he couldn’t pretend not to hear. As the club president, promoting the club seemed somewhat reasonable.There were only two things Dohyeon hadn’t expected. First, the weather was colder than he’d thought, and second, he’d encountered someone entirely unexpected.“Ah.”Normally, he wouldn’t bother looking at a passerby. Even if they gasped or stared at him, it wouldn’t concern Dohyeon. But he found himself turning around this time, as the faint hint of pheromones tickling his nose was incredibly rare.“Uh…”It was that rare Alpha Omega. Fresh and green like an unripe fruit, the pheromones were unlike any other Omega Dohyeon had met. The face staring blankly at him was equally captivating, something he rarely saw.“…Are you an Alpha?”Before he could realize how strange the question was, a feeling of déjà vu washed over him. Blinking slowly, Dohyeon responded.“Yes.”Those eyes…“I am an Alpha.”They look exactly the same.He didn’t have a chance to say more. The moment he replied, the other person turned away and walked off without looking back. The way he marched off briskly almost looked as if he were angry. Standing in place, Dohyeon absentmindedly watched the direction where he had disappeared.“Why are you so late?”Impatient as ever, Garam came over and started scolding Dohyeon. Complaints about whether he really needed to be there or if showing up a little earlier would have been so difficult were followed by Garam’s voice, suddenly cheerful.“Hey, you saw him too, right? That new freshman who joined. Isn’t he incredibly cute?”So he’d thought he looked young — it seemed he was only twenty. His pale face and delicate features perfectly matched Garam’s type.“Is he in our department?”Dohyeon asked this, intending to shut off any interest he had in the guy. No matter how good-looking or how unique the pheromones, things would change if he was a freshman in their department. Getting involved could make school life a headache.“Yeah, but when we asked him to come to the afterparty, he just said he was busy and left. Left without saying much.”“It seems he doesn’t like drinking parties.”“Ah, that’s a problem…”“You have no shame? He’s a freshman, isn’t he?”“Do you think I’m trying to hit on him? I just want to get him to join the club.”Garam even tried to analyze his personality, saying he looked like a responsible person. He seemed so interested that he regretted not asking for his number.“I heard from the TA that he has a nice name, too.”“What’s his name?”If it had stopped there, Dohyeon would’ve just nodded along and left it at that. Since they were in the same department, he figured they’d cross paths at some point.But the problem was the name that came out of Garam’s mouth.“Wooyeon. Seon Wooyeon.”“…”The hairs on the back of Dohyeon’s neck stood up. His pupils dilated, and he felt his breath catch. The natural flow of his pheromones abruptly stopped, and without hesitation, he sprinted off in the direction Wooyeon had gone.“Hey, where are you going? Hey, Kim Dohyeon!”It was almost a crazed action. He ran until he was out of breath, frantically searching around the main gate. He even stopped several people in similar clothing, but unfortunately, none of them were Wooyeon.“…Hah.”Opportunities often arise unexpectedly. That unannounced encounter became a turning point in his otherwise monotonous routine. A connection he thought he’d never see again appeared within arm’s reach.Memories he thought he had forgotten were actually buried because he couldn’t bear to face them. As soon as he realized there might be a chance to untangle their twisted bond, he felt like he was grasping at straws.If anyone asked him what he was thinking, he wouldn’t have an answer. He knew how absurd it was to act like this now, after being the one who left in the first place. Whether it was simple relief at seeing him again or something more…maybe lingering regrets over a relationship he ruined long ago.One thing was clear: even if he sincerely wanted it, it wasn’t a romantic feeling.For now, Dohyeon decided to wait. He waited until the new semester began, until Wooyeon showed up, and until Garam brought him into the club.This time, he wanted things to start naturally, without his own intervention.“Do you know someone named Seon Wooyeon?”When Yunwoo asked him that, Dohyeon wanted to cheer out loud. Although he hadn’t doubted his own eyes, this removed the last shred of disbelief.“He knows who you are. I thought he might want to join the club, but it doesn’t seem like it. If he’s someone you know, Garam invited him to the general meeting today, so…”Dohyeon had no intention of acting impulsively. Having already messed up this relationship once, he planned to approach carefully and cautiously. If Garam hadn’t been pestering him in a drunken state, Dohyeon wouldn’t have even spoken to Wooyeon.“Wow, Wooyeon’s making lots of friends.”Garam’s drinking habits could be bothersome. He treated everyone warmly and, when in the mood, even engaged in casual touches. That night, of all times, his pheromone control was poor, and it was clear Wooyeon felt uncomfortable.“This noona was just…”“Garam’s doing her thing again.”Wooyeon’s hunched shoulders looked small, as he pressed his lips to his sleeve and hugged the wall like a wary hedgehog. Still afraid of Alphas, huh. Dohyeon made a mental note of that.“You’re making him uncomfortable.”Feigning ignorance, Dohyeon positioned himself between Garam and Wooyeon, blocking Garam’s pheromones and offering Wooyeon a glass of water when he began to hiccup. Only after Dohyeon gently encouraged him did Wooyeon finally take the glass.“…Thank you.”His softened voice was different from the past. Instead of the thin voice he remembered, it was calm and mature. Four years was indeed a long time. Dohyeon felt both relieved and a little sad at the thought.“He’s the one I told you about.”Garam, flushed from drinking, carelessly spoke about Wooyeon right in front of him. “Didn’t I tell you he’s exactly like I described?” Garam asked, and Dohyeon found himself studying Wooyeon’s face despite knowing it was rude.Under the dim lights, his pale face was clear. Though he’d lost some weight, his basic features hadn’t changed much. He still looked nothing like Suhyang, and his bright, glistening eyes were the same.“…Yeah, he is.”Hadn’t Garam called him really cute? If he couldn’t distinguish between cute and pretty, maybe that was true. Big eyes and a prominent nose…Dohyeon had known that about Wooyeon for four years.“Is it okay if I speak informally with you?”Now, Dohyeon thought he could finally bring up the past. It was all in the past, after all, so he could speak honestly. Maybe they could remember each other as good people, or at least as someone who once meant something.“What’s your name?”“Seon Wooyeon.”But unlike Dohyeon, Wooyeon didn’t seem interested in acknowledging their past connection. Just to be sure, Dohyeon asked for his name, but Wooyeon pretended not to know him. “It’s not ‘Sunwoo Yeon,’ it’s ‘Seon Wooyeon,’” he corrected firmly.“Ah, Wooyeon.”What were the chances that a student he’d taught four years ago would end up at the same university, in the same department? From what he’d heard, Wooyeon had studied abroad in the U.S.; he could have easily continued there.“Yeah, Wooyeon.”If it really was Wooyeon, Dohyeon wanted it to be something inevitable. Maybe they could start over as strangers, pretending not to know each other. With time, if they slowly built up their relationship, maybe one day, Wooyeon would call him “teacher” again.“…Not really.”The fact that he smoked was unexpected, but it wasn’t exactly shocking. Dohyeon knew he had partly followed him outside because he felt uncomfortable. What truly caught him off guard was a single remark from Wooyeon.“I hate it when you smile like that. It seems fake.”It was a shock. He might have even felt a bit hurt. It was baffling, and the more baffling it was, the more surprising.It had been four years. No more, no less—exactly four years. Long enough for Wooyeon’s appearance to change, even his voice. And after all this time, the Wooyeon he met again accused his smile of being insincere.He didn’t feel like it was just a passing remark. Dohyeon had always been aware that he occasionally put on a forced smile, but the fact that Wooyeon had seen right through him left him feeling unsettled.Dohyeon had never once faked a smile in front of Wooyeon. Not four years ago, and not now. He was always sincere when it came to him.Perhaps that’s why. He began to feel a petty need to prove it wasn’t fake. Childish as it might be, he wanted Wooyeon, at least, to acknowledge that it wasn’t just an act.Fortunately, there were plenty of opportunities to clear up the misunderstanding. By a stroke of luck, their Friday classes overlapped, and Wooyeon even joined the “Reading English Classics” club. Though Wooyeon occasionally showed signs of discomfort, Dohyeon found it endearing that he couldn’t bring himself to admit it when asked if he was uncomfortable.“…You must get told you have a bad personality a lot, huh?”He’d only heard that question twice. Once from Suhyang, and once from Wooyeon.For the next few weeks, Dohyeon did everything he could to help Wooyeon—helping him register for classes, tutoring him, even treating him to the kind of cheap food that would make Suhyang recoil. The young master, who’d never even opened a car door by himself, surprisingly liked simple chocolates and inexpensive tteokbokki the most.They were days filled with meaning. Watching Wooyeon adjust to the club, blushing and fiddling with his ear, and even drunkenly swearing in English—it all brought him joy. Sometimes his heart would flutter, but he brushed it off as just being excited.“Then let’s do it at your place today, Wooyeon.”The study session had been a somewhat impulsive decision. He was annoyed that Wooyeon kept avoiding him after the club trip, and the Alpha who’d left him a note in the library bothered him as well. Ever since the opening ceremony, he’d noticed that Wooyeon was oddly popular.“…Is this a model home or something…?”A penthouse with a wide-open view. Wooyeon, standing there, felt strangely similar to how he’d been four years ago. It wasn’t as oppressive as his family’s mansion, which had felt like a prison, but he couldn’t shake the sense that Wooyeon was an isolated soul, stranded on high.“What are you looking for?”“A cup. I’d rather not serve it like this.”Dohyeon was surprised that Wooyeon had even thought to serve drinks and amused that he didn’t know where the cups were.There must be cups in the lower cabinets too, but Wooyeon’s instinct was to start searching the shelves right at his eye level. He’s bound to drop something, Dohyeon thought, and no sooner had he thought it than a glass slipped.“…Every time I look at you…”His reflexes surprised even him. He’d expected Wooyeon to drop it, but he hadn’t thought he’d actually catch the glass. The shock released his pheromones, and his own face was clearly reflected in Wooyeon’s wide, startled eyes.“You make it hard to look away.”They were less than a hand’s width apart. There had been closer moments during their tutoring sessions, but for some reason, this familiar distance suddenly felt tense.“I, um, well… I need to… go to the restroom.”Wooyeon quickly excused himself, but Dohyeon found himself unable to move from that spot for a long time. The faint trace of pheromones lingered deep in his chest. Somehow, he knew the reason his heart was racing wasn’t because of the near accident with the glass.On his way home, Dohyeon sorted through his conflicted emotions. Every time he closed his eyes, Wooyeon came to mind, and he felt a thrill at the emotions Wooyeon had shown him. His heart, gradually shifting, finally took on a new name.It was romantic interest. Fondness, affection.But even before he could process this sudden realization, Dohyeon immediately sought a way to suppress it. A phone call from Yoon, his family’s driver, the very next day was the reason.― The chairman would like to see you.It felt like a death sentence. He’d never once been unhappy to hear from Suhyang, but that day, he had a bad feeling. As he made his way to the company after class, a sense of foreboding loomed over him.“Sit down. Don’t listen standing.”Suhyang didn’t bother with pleasantries. As his secretary brought over tea, Dohyeon looked at Suhyang instead of taking the cup. Her face hadn’t changed much in the four years since he’d last seen it.“You know why I called you, don’t you?”It was a straightforward question. Dohyeon glanced away, momentarily unable to answer. He wasn’t guilty of anything, but the timing couldn’t have been worse.“Well… more or less.”With that answer, Suhyang began to speak calmly.“Four years ago, after you left, Wooyeon suffered a lot.”“…He suffered?”It was the first he’d heard of it. It made sense, given he had no one to update him on Wooyeon’s life. Suhyang paid no attention to Dohyeon’s surprised expression.“It was said to be a sort of lovesickness.”Thunk. His words were cut off. The image of Wooyeon from yesterday overlapped with the one from four years ago, haunting his thoughts. Dohyeon could still remember vividly the look on his face as they parted.“He barely ate, just slept like a sick chick. He even cried while refusing to drink water; it’s no surprise he fell ill.”The cold voice pierced mercilessly. Although Suhyang’s tone was monotonous, the weight of it stung his skin. Maybe it was because Suhyang’s pheromones had settled heavily in the air.“Sending him to America was a last attempt. I thought maybe a change of environment would help him forget you.”Looking back, it all made sense. Wooyeon’s goal had been to enter a foreign language high school, and there had been no plans for him to study abroad. There was no real reason for him to suddenly leave Korea like that.“That boy came back to Korea after four years.”“……”“Tell me yourself.”Suhyang’s voice carried pheromones. The heavy atmosphere clung to Dohyeon’s shoulders. Suhyang stared at Dohyeon with eyes as cold as ice.“If you were me, could you keep someone like you near my child?”Dohyeon lowered his head, feeling as though he were guilty of a crime. His mind went blank, and he couldn’t think of what to say. Even if Suhyang wasn’t trying to reprimand him, just sitting through this was torture.“It was my mistake to bring you into his life in the first place.”Despite Dohyeon’s silence, Suhyang continued. He lowered his gaze slowly, only to lift it once again.“But it was you who ended things.”With hands clasped atop the desk, Suhyang spoke in a calm tone, drawing his chin back slightly.“I’d hate for our connection to end as well.”It was a delicate way of saying it. It was also a warning that there would be no leniency next time. Dohyeon couldn’t respond, and the conversation ended there.The odds of meeting again after four years were extraordinarily slim. With his family’s wealth and overseas education, there was no reason for Wooyeon to return to Korea. Enrolling in the English literature department, even asking Yunwoo if he knew “Kim Dohyeon”—Dohyeon had interpreted all of this to mean only one thing.But in the end, it was a conclusion he had drawn alone. Wooyeon hadn’t acknowledged him at all, and recently, he’d even been avoiding him. Maybe all Wooyeon had wanted was to bring closure to their past.After long consideration, Dohyeon decided to put his feelings for Wooyeon to rest. He turned his back from afar, pretending to go a different way. When they had a class together, his gaze would still drift endlessly to Wooyeon’s small head.He thought he could stop himself now. Wooyeon was avoiding him, and his own feelings were still in the early stages—he thought he could manage. But it didn’t take long for Dohyeon to realize this was wishful thinking.The day he bought burgers for the club members as a midterm encouragement was also the day he was scheduled to study with Wooyeon. With regret for making such plans, Dohyeon reserved a study room near the school.“Oppa!”“Hyung! We missed you!”“You’re so transparent, you guys.”The club room was unusually crowded, everyone eating their burgers and welcoming him warmly. Habitually, Dohyeon scanned the room with a smile.“Only shows up for food…”Wooyeon was sitting on the sofa. The bright white hoodie he wore made his pale face appear even whiter. Seeing him with both hands clutching a burger, his lips sealed in a pout, was almost enough to take his breath away.“Oppa, what’s wrong?”Because it was endearing, and because it was painful. Watching him wrestle with the innocent burger was both amusing and agonizing.But soon, Dohyeon broke eye contact, averting his gaze from Wooyeon.“It’s nothing.”It was just a fleeting glance, hardly even an exchange of looks. Yet, his previously calm heart began to burn intensely, as if set ablaze.Feigning indifference, Dohyeon took the seat farthest from Wooyeon. And in secrecy, he watched Wooyeon from afar. The young master, who probably had never seen fast food up close, huddled with his head down, eating his burger bit by bit.“I’m sorry, but I’ll be going now.”He looked like he’d probably gotten an upset stomach. His expression was poor, and his complexion had turned pale. After forcing down food he wasn’t used to, he likely couldn’t digest it properly.“Uh, the study room…”“I’ve already reserved it.”But Dohyeon couldn’t bring himself to ask if he was okay. He didn’t show concern, didn’t meet Wooyeon’s gaze. Instead, he kept up his usual relaxed tone, feigning composure as always.“There’s a spot open at the café by the main gate. Just come by after your class.”He sensed a resentful gaze on him. The previously bright pheromones now grew gloomy, matching the weather. Saying he’d see him later, Wooyeon left the club room, and Dohyeon didn’t even look at his retreating figure.With some time to kill, Dohyeon drifted toward the convenience store as if in a daze. Dark clouds were gathering, promising rain, so he bought an umbrella along with an antacid just in case.“You guys go ahead to the café.”He’d felt uneasy all day, and Wooyeon hadn’t shown up at the main gate even though the scheduled time had passed. His class should’ve ended long ago, yet there were no messages on his phone. Sending Garam and Seonkyu ahead, Dohyeon strode purposefully across campus.He moved on instinct alone. The raindrops began to fall, so he opened his umbrella and walked wherever his feet took him. The name of Wooyeon’s “Global Leadership” class floated in his mind, engraved like a mantra.As expected, Wooyeon was sitting on a bench near the lecture hall building. Under the cascading cherry blossoms, his curled-up figure looked particularly delicate. One step, then another. With each step closer to him, Dohyeon’s heart began to beat irregularly.“…I wondered why you weren’t coming.”If someone asked when it started, he’d say he didn’t know. He hadn’t noticed it seep in, and by the time he realized, it was beyond control. Maybe it was four years ago, or perhaps from the moment they met again—he couldn’t tell.“You’ll catch a cold.”He likes him. He loves the way Wooyeon looks up at him with those clear eyes, that blind affection, and the clumsy, young Seon Wooyeon.“Se…”He missed the voice that called him “teacher.” He couldn’t forget the warmth of Wooyeon, sobbing as he clung to him. Even after all this time, Dohyeon remained as bound to Wooyeon as ever.“…Sunbae.”That single word was a jolt back to reality. Suhyang’s face flashed in his mind, and he remembered her saying he had hurt her.“Sometimes…”Sometimes, a single choice changes the future. To reach out or to pull back—the crossroad of their relationship was still as hard to navigate as it was four years ago.“This isn’t easy.”Wooyeon silently turned his gaze away from Dohyeon. He placed his hands on his knees and rested his chin on top of them. A raindrop slid down his nose, visible from a tilted angle.“Should I give you a piggyback?”“…”It was an impulsive offer. But the moment he said it, his mind was set. Four years ago, he’d had enough of letting go, ignoring, pretending not to know.“I’ll take you home.”Without hesitation, he knelt down and lifted Wooyeon onto his back, almost insisting on it. He’d been in the rain long enough for his thighs, under Dohyeon’s fingers, to feel chilled. At least Wooyeon’s arms around his neck were warm, and Dohyeon was grateful for that. The breaths he felt now and then, the voice whispering near his ear—he didn’t want to miss any of it.“Why are you so nice to me?”Wooyeon’s pheromones felt as fresh as if they’d burst like juice if bitten into. There was still a youthful scent lingering, which helped to calm his heart even more.“I just want to be.”His apology was only an excuse to hide his feelings. His wish to reset from the beginning was a desire he couldn’t fully conceal.Dohyeon just didn’t want to lose this precious connection again.“…Then keep being nice to me.”He didn’t want to disappoint him. He didn’t want to hurt him, make him cry, and be abandoned in the end. He hoped the relationship that had barely held together wouldn’t break again like it did the first time.“I missed you.”The words, disguised as a joke, revealed everything beneath—delight, longing, gentle affection, and even an unspoken confession.“…I’m glad.”Despite all the hurt he’d caused, despite all the hardship, he was told he’d been missed. How could Dohyeon not reach out to him?That day became a turning point for each of them in different ways. Just like he had four years ago, Wooyeon opened his heart again, and Dohyeon admitted that he would never truly let him go. And he knew there was something he had to resolve first to do so.“I’ll make sure Wooyeon never gets hurt because of me.”Suhyang did not drive Dohyeon away when he visited her unannounced. She only declared, in a detached voice, “I don’t trust you.” Dohyeon took a deep breath before speaking softly.“I plan to tell him everything.”Before it was too late, he had to come clean. He planned to tell Wooyeon the truth and even beg him not to leave him. Knowing Wooyeon’s tender heart, he might just relent.“You’re awfully confident.”Suhyang dismissed Dohyeon’s courage with a single comment. Then, with an even tone, she asked him a question.“Do you really think Wooyeon will still like you after knowing everything?”It was the part he’d always lacked confidence in. As if she had expected it, Suhyang clicked her tongue lightly.“If this is just a half-hearted game of love, I won’t stop you. But whatever the outcome, you’ll be responsible.”He didn’t know why he took that as Suhyang’s way of granting him permission. Maybe it was her surprisingly mild reaction, or the certainty that she wouldn’t interfere.However, her final words were as icy as a frosty blade.“I will do anything to protect my child.”* * *Dohyeon waited calmly for the right time. He planned to talk when the circumstances, time, and place were right. There were moments he wanted to pretend he didn’t know, but he reminded himself he couldn’t.“I… I’ll go smoke, too.”Unaware of his inner thoughts, Wooyeon followed him around like a chick that had just hatched, even wanting to start smoking just to keep up with Dohyeon, who secretly resolved to quit because of him. Though it did end up presenting a good opportunity.“I’ll show you a movie.”A date under the pretense of a reward, and a stepping stone to confess everything. Knowing Wooyeon’s straightforward nature when he set his sights on a goal, Dohyeon proposed a bet. And if it also helped Wooyeon focus on his studies, all the better.“Popcorn and a drink, too.”Innocent Wooyeon was easily swayed by the word “reward.” Promising him something tasty and fun to watch was enough to motivate him to do well.The truth was, Dohyeon had set the bar vaguely enough to praise him regardless of the outcome.But two things didn’t go as planned: Wooyeon was deeply disappointed by his final exam results, and then he drank himself into a stupor at the after-party.“Please… take my pants off.”Even after admitting his feelings, Dohyeon had never thought of Wooyeon in that way. He’d seen him in his school uniform, and Wooyeon’s scent still carried a childish sweetness that made him seem innocent. Even if Wooyeon came to him bare, Dohyeon believed he could hold back.“…You’re lying in my bed right now.”And yet, his mind went blank. Blaming it purely on pheromones would be an understatement; the sight of Wooyeon’s flushed cheeks and vulnerable expression was too much. His hazy gaze and fair thighs snapped Dohyeon’s self-control in an instant.“Damn it… I don’t care anymore.”Resigned, he held onto Wooyeon, calming him down, coaxing him to relax. Their gazes locked, and Dohyeon felt an urge so intense that it bordered on unbearable.“…”“…”He wanted to kiss him. To taste his mouth, to breathe in his pheromones, to savor the warmth inside that small, soft mouth.Holding back that desire was Dohyeon’s last line of self-restraint. Even when Wooyeon brushed his lips near Dohyeon’s chin, he kept his focus only on his hands. When Wooyeon finally let go with a soft sound, Dohyeon exhaled as if his patience had burst all at once.“…Yeon-ah.”Naturally, Wooyeon didn’t hear him. He only lay limp, letting out a faint moan.“Ah… teacher…”The next day, Wooyeon ran off without looking back. There was no chance to ask about Danny, who was visiting Korea just to see Wooyeon, nor why he was staying at Wooyeon’s place instead of a hotel, nor why Wooyeon pretended to forget the previous night.It didn’t matter. He had called him “teacher” once; saying it again would be easier. Perhaps broaching the topic with that memory might actually make it simpler.Dohyeon helped Wooyeon with his group assignment and used Yunwoo’s suggestion as an excuse to make a movie plan. True to form, simple and straightforward Wooyeon followed along without a hint of suspicion.And on the big day, Wooyeon invited Dohyeon over to his place without a second thought.“…Would you like some champagne?”After that drunken incident, he was suggesting drinking again, unaware of the implications of them spending the day together, much less at his place.“You remember, Wooyeon.”Honestly, Dohyeon felt slighted. After calling him “teacher,” Wooyeon still insisted on feigning ignorance. Even mentioning their shared history would make Wooyeon withdraw in embarrassment.“…Why are you so perceptive, Sunbae?”“You get used to anything if you’re around it long enough.”Being perceptive was second nature, something Dohyeon had learned to rely on in the orphanage, and later in the home he was adopted into. Every day was spent on edge, every minute a quiet struggle.“What made you so used to it?”“Well…”He couldn’t answer that question. It was just his pride getting in the way, the thought of telling Wooyeon, who’d grown up in a stable family, felt embarrassing. Even though Wooyeon looked slightly downcast, his pride wouldn’t let him speak.Fortunately, Wooyeon didn’t push further and returned to the original topic, though his response was far from what Dohyeon expected.“It was a reaction to my pheromones.”The words hit like a splash of cold water. It implied that the incident might have happened with anyone under the same conditions.“So it would’ve happened with someone else, too.”Dohyeon gently, methodically pressed Wooyeon, feeling a persistent frustration that wouldn’t fade even as he watched Wooyeon’s flustered reaction. Wooyeon stared at him, then, with a determined look, grabbed the bottle of champagne.“…!”It was completely unexpected. Wooyeon downed the champagne quickly, not giving Dohyeon a moment to react or take it away. After a small pause, Wooyeon’s forehead hit the table.“Ah…”Dohyeon let out a hollow laugh, covering his face with one hand. This wasn’t how he’d planned things, yet he hadn’t managed to say anything that mattered. He felt a sense of futility, even amusement.“I really can’t handle you…”Every time he thought he’d gotten things under control, Wooyeon would catch him off guard. His reactions were simple, his expressions so transparent, yet he was utterly unpredictable. Even today, when Dohyeon had thought he’d closed off every exit, Wooyeon had managed to escape by getting drunk.After stifling his disappointment, Dohyeon got up and approached Wooyeon. There was a slight part in Wooyeon’s neat hairline, and his black hair was sticking up just slightly. As Dohyeon gently smoothed down his hair, Wooyeon groaned softly and turned his head.“It’s red.”Wooyeon’s fair skin made the reddish mark on his forehead clearly visible. Luckily, there wasn’t a bump, but the slight bruise looked painful. Dohyeon gently rubbed his thumb over Wooyeon’s forehead and crouched down right in front of him.“Seon Wooyeon.”“…”“Wooyeon.”“…”“Yeon-ah.”Long lashes fluttered. His blushing lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something. With each soft breath, the pheromones in the air became sweeter and thicker.“What makes you trust me so much?”Though he was an alpha, Wooyeon was sleeping so trustingly, with his guard completely down. He was Suhyang’s son, yet he had such an innocence to him, as if he were unaware of the dangers.And despite those thoughts, Dohyeon did nothing, simply watching Wooyeon with a soft gaze, memorizing his features as if capturing a mental picture. With his pale, smooth complexion and delicately formed features, Wooyeon looked refined and flawless.Finally, Dohyeon reached out, pulling Wooyeon’s limp body into his arms and lifting him as if cradling a child. Ever since he’d carried Wooyeon home last time, he’d known how easy it would be to scoop him up.“Guess I shouldn’t, though.”Dohyeon chuckled softly and strode towards the bedroom. After some searching, he found the bed and laid Wooyeon down on it. But no sooner had he done so than Wooyeon’s eyelids fluttered open. His eyes, heavy with drink, blinked up at Dohyeon.“You’re awake?”“……”Wooyeon didn’t reply and lifted his upper body. He almost lost his balance but quickly steadied himself. With his head lowered and his lips slightly parted, a small murmur slipped out.“I need to shower….”Then, he began taking off his clothes. Wooyeon took off his hoodie, unbuckled his pants, and staggered toward the bathroom, leaving his clothes like shed skin along the way.“What….”Dohyeon could only watch Wooyeon’s back, unable to say a word. When Wooyeon finally removed his underwear, Dohyeon instinctively turned his head away. He moved quickly for someone drunk (though, in reality, it was more of a sluggish pace), not giving Dohyeon a chance to stop him.The reason Dohyeon opened the bathroom door was the loud crashing noise he heard from inside. Whether Wooyeon had fallen or dropped something, leaving him alone didn’t seem safe.Fortunately, Wooyeon had only dropped a shampoo bottle and was sitting quietly in the tub, letting the shower’s water run over him. Seeing Dohyeon enter, Wooyeon’s eyes widened.“…Teacher?”“You recognize me?”Dohyeon gave a faint smile, slowly walking closer to Wooyeon. He adjusted the water to a warmer temperature, and Wooyeon reached out to grab Dohyeon’s shirt, mumbling irritably.“Where did you go?”“Where do you think? I was just outside.”“No…”Steam filled the bathroom, billowing around them. With the thought of cleaning Wooyeon up and taking him out of the bathroom, Dohyeon took the showerhead in hand. Wooyeon lowered his head obediently, muttering softly.“You weren’t there….”“I’m here now.”The experience he had washing up his younger siblings proved helpful. Compared to his siblings who couldn’t manage themselves at all, a drunken Wooyeon was much easier—if not for the persistent ache in Dohyeon’s stomach.“Alright, let’s go to bed now.”Dohyeon mischievously dressed Wooyeon in a bathrobe instead of regular clothes, even tying the belt neatly. Despite the neat appearance, Dohyeon himself ended up struggling, while Wooyeon, unaware of his own state, clung to Dohyeon’s collar.“Are you leaving?”Wooyeon’s eyes drooped, his round eyes brimming with unshed tears. No one would be able to look at a Wooyeon like this and say they were leaving.“Can you…not go?”With a resigned sigh, Dohyeon climbed onto the bed as Wooyeon led him, taking off his shirt when Wooyeon complained about it being damp, and offering his right hand when Wooyeon still seemed unsatisfied. Finally pleased, Wooyeon held Dohyeon’s hand and smiled bashfully.“Do you really like this so much?”“Yes.”The answer was immediate. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Wooyeon’s usual hesitation was nowhere to be found. Chuckling, Dohyeon whispered in a gentle tone.“What do you like about me?”“I just like you because you’re my teacher.”It was an endearing quirk, really. His speech was clear, and his answers sharp enough that if Dohyeon hadn’t seen him drunk before, he might have thought Wooyeon was completely sober.“So, what’s your relationship with Danny?”Knowing it was petty, Dohyeon asked anyway, wanting a clear answer from Wooyeon’s own mouth. Wooyeon stared blankly at the air with a hazy gaze.“Maybe… friends?”“…Maybe?”An ambiguous answer. You’re either friends or not; what’s with the ‘maybe’? Could they have had some special relationship back in America? Just as he was thinking, Wooyeon continued.“We’re friends, but it’s a bit complicated.”“How is it complicated?”“It’s just…”Something about his tone sounded off. It didn’t sound like he was simply talking about a friend.Finally, in a quiet, subdued tone, Wooyeon spoke with a tinge of melancholy.“It’s because of my mom that we’re close.”His elevated mood quickly cooled down, his pheromones settling into a solid, frigid mass. Wooyeon, unaware of the shift, continued in a drowsy tone.“I can’t fully trust him.”It felt like he’d been struck in the back of the head. His mind went blank, and his vision blurred. The words he’d planned to say scattered uselessly in the air.Being perceptive sometimes led to utterly needless realizations. If only he hadn’t understood Wooyeon’s words, he could have been ignorant. But Dohyeon understood right away. He saw exactly what kind of person Danny was, how the two became close, and how Wooyeon would react if he revealed the truth.“Please hold me, Teacher.”Wooyeon pulled him closer, his unfocused eyes blinking lazily. With his free hand, Dohyeon softly brushed Wooyeon’s hair back.“Holding someone can mean a lot of different things.”Wooyeon looked at him silently in response. Tilting his head upward, he closed his eyes, almost as if asking for a kiss. When Dohyeon leaned in, their lips met like a feather’s touch.“……”“……”After a brief moment, their lips parted, only to meet again right after. It was because of a single murmur from Wooyeon.“Just once more….”As though under a spell, Dohyeon pressed his lips to Wooyeon’s, softly biting his lower lip and slipping his tongue inside. The warmth and sweetness were intoxicating, heightened by the pheromones flooding the air.“Mmh…”Wooyeon let out a pleased sound, but Dohyeon knew that by tomorrow, he wouldn’t remember any of this—the mix of pheromones, the tangled breaths, none of it.“…Yeon-ah.”Still, he held onto a sliver of hope that maybe Wooyeon would remember, just like the last time. Dohyeon gently held Wooyeon’s chin, his voice full of longing.“Call me Teacher again tomorrow.”“……”“Don’t pretend you don’t know me.”