Almost Human

The walk to campus was brisk, the cool breeze cutting through my overactive thoughts. With each step, I willed myself to shake off the remnants of the dream. It wasn’t real. It was just my mind playing tricks on me. But the weight of it clung to me like fog.

I reached the edge of campus, the familiar sight of students milling about offering a distraction. I inhaled deeply, trying to ground myself in the present. Focus on this, I told myself. The here and now. Ender’s back at the apartment, and I’m here to figure out how to live life outside of my bubble.

But even with the familiar hustle of campus life, the memory of his touch lingered, too real, too vivid. I’d never imagined anything like that before—hadn’t even let myself consider it. And now, I didn’t know how to process it. Did it mean anything? Was it just my subconscious?

My hand tightened on the strap of my bag as I navigated the maze of pathways, searching for something to anchor me in the real world again. The sound of chatter, laughter, the distant thrum of campus life—normally it would overwhelm me, but today it felt like background noise. Today, I couldn’t shake the weight of my own mind.

I passed by the robotics building, my feet slowing for a second. Maybe… maybe it was a good thing to face this. Ender wasn’t the problem. My reactions to touch were. That dream, confusing as it was, had cracked something open in me. The thought of touch didn’t just carry fear anymore. There was something else—something warm, maybe even… hopeful.

With a sigh, I spotted a bench and dropped onto it, my gaze wandering to the courtyard beyond. Groups of students lingered near the fountain, chatting and laughing like everything was perfectly normal. And here I was, spiraling over a dream about a robot.

I forced myself to focus on the plan. Angie had suggested walking the campus, being around people, and seeing how I handled it. So far, I hadn’t flinched at the occasional brush of someone’s arm or the buzz of life around me. That was progress. And maybe, just maybe, I could keep pushing.

But the dream… It felt like it was trying to tell me something, to show me a version of myself that wasn’t scared anymore. Maybe this was the next step. Maybe this was the beginning of something.

As I sat there, watching the world move on without me, I felt the faintest flicker of hope. This was where I needed to be. Out here, testing the waters. Seeing what I could handle. Maybe, if I could handle campus, I could handle more. Maybe, in time, I could even handle Ender.

I stood up from the bench, a newfound determination settling in my chest. If I was serious about pushing myself, then I needed to take action. This was the moment I’d been waiting for—the chance to reclaim something I thought I’d lost.

Without overthinking it, I made my way toward the registrar’s office. MIT’s campus was sprawling, but I knew the way by heart now. As I walked, I felt my nerves buzz, but the weight of my decision overpowered the hesitation. This was a step forward, a real one.

The glass doors of the office loomed in front of me, and I paused for a second before walking inside. The cool air hit me, and the sound of typing filled the space. A few students were already sitting, waiting to speak with the registrar. I stepped up to the counter, feeling the faint tremor of anxiety creeping back in.

“Hi,” I said, my voice a little shaky but resolute. “I’d like to enroll in in-person classes for the fall semester.”

The woman behind the counter glanced up, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Do you have an appointment?”

“No, but I was hoping I could make the change today.”

She tapped a few keys, then nodded. “Let me pull up your file. Just a moment.”

As she worked, my mind raced. This was it. I was committing to being here, in person, around other people. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. A part of me still clung to the safety of online classes, but another part, the one growing louder, wanted to prove that I could do this. That I could be okay.

“Alright,” the woman said after a moment, looking up at me. “I’ve switched your classes to in-person. You’ll receive confirmation in your student portal. Anything else I can help you with?”

I swallowed, nodding slowly. “No, that’s it. Thank you.”

She gave me a small smile as I turned to leave, my heart pounding in my chest. I stepped back into the sunlit campus, a swirl of emotions washing over me—fear, hope, excitement, and the nagging memory of Ender, still lingering in the back of my mind.

But for the first time in a long time, I felt… alive. Like I was finally taking control. And that was something I could hold onto.

As soon as I stepped outside the registrar’s office, I pulled out my phone and shot off a quick text to Angie:

I did it! I just enrolled for in-person classes.

I hit send, feeling a mix of pride and nervousness. Almost immediately, her reply buzzed back:

I knew you could! Huge step forward, Seren. Let’s talk about it in our next session!

I smiled, tucking my phone away as I made my way back home, a new energy humming beneath my skin. I could already feel the familiar comfort of Ender waiting in the apartment, and I was eager to share the news with him, even if part of me wondered how he’d react to me doing something… alone.

As I entered the apartment, the door clicked shut softly behind me. As soon as I stepped inside, Ender glanced up from his task, a soft look of recognition passing over his face.

“Welcome back, Seren,” he said, his tone neutral but somehow warm. “Did your trip go as expected?”

I grinned, feeling the excitement bubble up again. “I just enrolled for in-person classes.”

For a moment, Ender blinked, then something flickered in his eyes—an almost spark of pride. “That’s excellent news, Seren,” he said, stepping toward me with an unmistakable brightness in his voice. “A brave choice. I know this was a difficult step for you, but you’ve done it. I trust you’ll excel in this new environment.”

I felt my chest warm, his investment in my growth clear in his words. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I feel ready… or at least more ready than before.”

Ender’s smile grew, his lips curving slightly more than usual. “And I will continue to support you however you need. You’re progressing remarkably, Seren.”

It wasn’t just his words—it was his energy, the way he seemed genuinely excited for me, almost like he’d been waiting for this moment alongside me. It made my decision feel even more right.