Alfheimr Renaissance

Jane's face gets a more serious look and she asks; "I guess you see us; wife, girlfriends and me as riddles to solve?"

"I am bad at reading people and social things. I often miss obvious things if I'm not in the right frame of mind. Woman blatantly flirting with me, adjusting her breasts in front of my face so I'll focus on her cleavage, and asking me about my sleeping arrangements for the night? Poof! Right over my head, because at the time I was more interested in the conversation we were having. It's annoying when I way too late realise things like that. Not so much because I missed sex, but because I missed something so obvious. Who knows what it would have led to? But no, you are not riddles to solve. You are very close to me and I care about you, so I want you to have a good life and be happy, and our relationship means trying to make you sexually happy and satisfied. I try to notice what you seem to enjoy most or not so much, but I am also often curious about how good I can be at something. For example, I look forward to shooting at the range, but not because I get a kick out of it, and after reaching enough proficiency, it won't make me a better hunter, but I want to shoot because I want to know how good of a shot I can be with these rifles. I want to improve the rifles for a similar reason, and just try different things to see how they effect the accuracy or ballistics. Curiosity and challenge.

I can't help but apply the same mindset to sex - especially since I have multiple partners - by both trying to do my best for you, because each of you deserve the best sex I can give you, but also constantly trying to learn, improve and see how good I can be as your partner and for the sex you like. You are not riddles to solve, but I want to be the best I can be for each of you. Most of the time, I can no longer switch off my brain during sex, because it has become such a big part of my everyday life. I've gotten used to sex, and a naked woman's body or naked breasts no longer turns my brain off, and that's both good and bad. Good because it means I can lie here with you, look into your eyes and feel your beautiful naked body against mine, feel your soft skin and curves under my hands and still have this conversation, instead of getting distracted and becoming a drooling idiot. The bad thing is that I now can, because your deserve me turning into a drooling idiot when I feel you against me and under my hands. I'm just glad you're so very sexy when you want to be, so I'm reminded of how lucky I am."

My honest opinion rewards me with a beautiful smile and a pleased happy kiss from Jane, but I need to continue.

"So I can't usually switch off my brain, but I often have trouble understanding people. So unfortunately there's a good chance I'll notice that the chair you're using wobbles, or some is chafing or a bit wrong etc and fix that, but I'll miss that you're annoyed about something completely different. Or like when Kari wore a corset for a long time. Everyone else seemed to have noticed it. I just wasn't looking at her body. As you yourself said, I had missed how many women were really looking at me. I had noticed it, but I didn't realise and understand how real it was. My self-image didn't match, and since I've never flirted with women for one-night stands, it didn't make sense that women here would want to do that with me."

Jane looks at me with a slightly critical and thoughtful expression. "We all know your attention is random and you can be hilariously blind and at the same time annoyingly perceptive, like how you notice a lot of faults or plot holes in movies. But I understand your issue about emotions, women and sex. What about me? What about my fantasies?"

"Urgh! I'm afraid to say it. Afraid it will be wrong and you will be offended or interpret it as something I subconsciously want, which you may then feel compelled to fulfil etc etc. Layers and layers of thoughts, because I'm bad at reading and emotions."

"Robert, sometimes you think way to much. We agreed be honest, so man up and say it. I won't judge you either, but I'm curious about what you got right and what you got wrong."

Jane reluctantly turn round when I indicate that she should, so that she is once again lying with her back to me, but I continue to hold her.

"Sorry that I'm talking to your neck, but it's easier this way. I love you and I don't want to see your face if I'm wrong, but I'll close my eyes anyway. It's better that you can get your head together before I see or you say anything, because it gives me less information to contemplate about or draw conclusions on that might be wrong." Damn this is hard, but we have said we will be honest so I just have be it. I feel myself stutter as I start.

"According to Kari, you have acquired a pair of wrist cuffs, and you seem to know a lot about bondage and domination. About the clothes and accessories, especially details, so you must have read, looked and maybe fantasised about it, and it wouldn't surprise me if you bought things that you have hidden in a closet, but never dared to show. Never dared to talk about it with your friends or boyfriends. Especially if they've made negative comments if you discretely tried to bring the subject up. It may be completely innocent, because I've learned some about that stuff too, just because it's a part of a good story or interesting story, or because I've read a lot of other things the author created. But my knowledge is very limited, and I have not searched for such stories or bought anything sexually related. I've read several South Korean stories that had plenty of sex, but I scrolled past to get to the dialogue and such. Done the same for way too long fight scenes. You know how I am. Anyway, it could be that you simply like the look and feel, or the idea of it, but not the act itself.

Frankly, I do like the look of some sexy or fetish clothing on women, but my practical mind gets in the way, and I'm glad you designed sexy clothing and other things like corsets and introduced this. I probably wouldn't have done that, which seems to have been a mistake, and that's after I introduced bras and panties. But I saw a practical use for those. Well, mostly the bra. I can't see myself ever having introduced high heels - especially stilettos - because they are just a too impractical expensive luxury item with extremely narrow usage range, as few here even have wooden, tile or stone floors, and cobble stone streets are rarely smooth enough. I would never have thought there would've been anyone who wanted to wear them, since they haven't been bombarded by modern media and fashion. Yes, high heels can be stylish and sexy partially because I have that association, so I wouldn't have expected Iselin to love stilettos, although it became completely clear why when she explained it to me. For me, shoes are only practical items; I don't buy shoes because they are stylish, fashionable or luxurious, and I only own one pair of dress shoes that I have barely worn. I have literally bought all-black fancy trainers to only wear to certain events where I can avoid the dress shoes. Because it's more practical and comfortable, especially if I have to walk or stand for a long time. Besides those two, I basically have five pairs of shoes including my hiking boots and sandals for the beach, and I don't like when I need to buy new shoes. I usually by the same type and size if that is still available, maybe in another colour.

To return to sex, you probably haven't dreamed of dominating your partner, since you've given Kari such specific things that go against that, or that's why you've done it, to subtly dominate her. But given what you've casually said about 'asking me to bend over' and 'being led in a leash' I think you want to try being controlled or be 'submissive'. To experience feeling completely at the mercy of someone who completely controls you, and you are that person's plaything. But it requires trust and care, and I don't think you've truly had that."

I start using my hands on her arms, body, wrists and fingers as I say things, echoing what Kari likes to hear.

"I think you want to feel how I sensually but methodically tighten the wrist cuffs on your wrists, how the leather and fabric tighten against your body, hugging your body. The pressure of a corset, that I know you sometimes like to wear and find beautiful. How straps with rings go around your waist, along your back, between your legs, around and over your breasts. A collar around your neck, with a ring. A ring that is to control you, to lead you where I want, and you just have to follow. How I clamp fast and control your legs and arms. Restricting your movements. Taking away your free will. You have no choice but to do exactly what I make you do. I take your sight with a blindfold over your eyes, so you only feel my hands and hear my voice, surrounded by darkness. Your sense of touch and hearing heightened. I take your voice with a ball gag in your mouth, and you can only pant and feel saliva gathering, and you can't even stop that. Your will is meaningless, because only my will exists. You are my plaything, and nothing more."

As I have talked and touched her, I have felt her reactions, her heart pounding and her breathing. How she seems to shiver here under the thick blanket, and I have continued to talk as she seems to react positively. I feel like Kari was right enough about her that Jane wants to try, and as long as they want to keep it separate, it shouldn't be a problem.

"You are just a toy for me to enjoy and give pleasure, a body with no will of its own. You can only helplessly feel my fingers and hands caressing and playing with your helpless body, as you are completely at my mercy. Feel how I tenderly touch your nipples and use my lips and tongue wherever I want, how I want and how long I want. How, with dildos and my cock, I penetrate you and give you orgasm after orgasm where you lie helplessly straining against the shackles and straps, and you can only gasp and indulge to pleasure, because you have no choice."

Jane, whose cylinders where firing like crazy, doesn't let me out of bed until a pleasant half hour later. I'm so happy we've become a couple, and I'm also glad I let her talk her mind out that afternoon, because my planned distancing from her would have been a huge mistake, for both of us and for my psychological healing, and I let her know that. I love Iselin the most, but Jane shares second place with Ciara, although Kari is close behind them. Frankly, it's more like they each have their own part of my heart.

It's only when I stand in the shower that I realise I have some faint lipstick marks all over my body. Her lipstick might not smear like classic lipsticks, but it's not entirely without leaving smears. I also realise that I need help to find and get rid of all the smudges from my body, so I open the bathroom door a smidge and get them to call for Caecilia, who soon comes rushing, and happily speeds up when she realises that I've asked for her from the bathroom. Caecilia helps me with the issue, although she first tries to kiss them off my body, and then some. I'm not really keen on having sex with her, but she'd be so disappointed if I called her to the bathroom without any intimacy. I better call Ciara next time.