AIjh

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Like a drop of blood on a black canvas, the crimson full moon shines bright up in the dark night sky.

Michael Roa Valdamjong is finally dead.

The Infinite Reincarnator, the Uroboros that tried to attain Eternity through Infinity, and in the process toyed with the rules of the world—has finally been put to rest permanently by my blade.

But I am not jubilant as I expected—for the price of this win is much too high.

This victory is hollow, for it is Roa who won in the end—for in he managed to conclude his journey by finally reaching and desecrating and destroying the ideal of Eternity he had been chasing for so long...

... He had finally managed to slay the woman he didn't even know he loved.

She lies dying in my arms—And all she can do is put on a happy face filled with patchwork brightness, as her life blood spills all around us.

"Aha—that was very lame, wasn't it, Shiki...?"

"You... what kind of stupid things are you saying—!? Why—why did—"

... I can't speak clearly. Her strained smile and cold body makes me feel like I am going mad—I can't be calm now, for as I hold her, the lack of lingering warmth in her body tells me it is hopeless.

If I took off my glasses—there's no doubt I would see something even more hopeless.

—More than anything else, I don't want to see that.

Exasperated at myself, I hold her tightly... but there is no embrace in response.

She doesn't have the strength left in her. All she does is smile happily.

"—Why—!? Why did you—why did you try and do this all alone...?! We're partners... I said I'd help you—to the very end...!"

"... Oh yeah... that's right. You said something like that... I guess... I kind of forgot..."

"—You can't go forgetting something like that, you idiot...! Doesn't this—doesn't this make me useless then? The lowest of the low?! I said I would help you, I promised I definitely would—but in the end I couldn't do anything!"

"... No that's not true, Shiki. You helped me plenty of times—That's why you... you've done enough."

She coughs up blood, and smiles painfully through blood flecked-lips.

"That's why, I wanted to thank you... I thought... I should do at least this much to show my gratitude."

...The colour begins to fade from her eyes. Her body heat is steadily ebbing away.

——I am going to lose her.

Am I really going to lose her like this?

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"... Ar...cueid."

"—What...?"

"... Drink my blood. Your strength will return and your body will heal if you do that right...?!"

—I shout out the words without thinking about it. I don't need to, for no consequences matter right now, as long as I can save her...!

"..."

Arcueid doesn't say anything. Instead, she responds so feebly that it's almost imperceptible—

—By lightly shaking her head.

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"——WHY?! What are you still afraid of?! Remember what you asked me a couple of days ago...!? You asked me if I'd still eat birds or fish if they had the same level of intelligence as me——

—Well, the answer is YES...!

I'd still eat them! If it means I will get to live, then I will definitely do so. Isn't that the natural order of things—Isn't taking the lives of others in order to survive, a natural law of the world...!?"

Those were words she herself had said. So why? Why does she shake her head with those sorrow filled eyes?

"I... don't like... talking about... what-ifs."

... I am stunned by the denial.

For those words of rejection—That was my line back then. Those were words I had always believed in.

She was the one who told me—that she liked what-ifs and hypotheticals. That they made her feel like there is some kind of hope out there.

"Is—Is that right? But... but I like them. Even... if it is just sugar-coating things, even if they're nothing more than sophistry. Don't they... make you feel like... there is—"

'Some kind of hope out there'... Is what I wanted to say. But there's a lump in my throat. Because of it, I am not able to get those words out clearly.

"... I guess so... but... right now... there's something else... that I want more."

"Something... you want? Sure. I'll do anything you want—so tell me."

"Yeah... I want... you to kiss me... Shiki."

—Is that it? Is your one wish really something so simple?

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... I press my lips to hers.

There is no longer any warmth—its no longer sweet or gentle like before. There is none of the sweetness, none of the tenderness that was present the other day when we exchanged our first kiss. Just a kiss where I press her cold lips with mine. A kiss without warmth. Nothing more.

And yet—after I draw away, she smiles from the bottom of her heart, as if extremely happy.

"... I'm glad. I've always wanted to do something like that."

"... Oh? You really... have some weird tastes, don't you...? You like the strangest of things..."

"Yeah... I feel strangely happy. It was something so small... but it meant so much to me. I've been alive for an incredibly long time... but in all those years I've never experienced anything close to the joy I feel right now.

—That's why... I kind of thought to myself, that I wouldn't mind going out on a high like this..."

She murmurs those words.

And as she finishes speaking—all the warmth disappears, and her body grows cold.

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"Ar... cueid...?"

There is no response.

Even though her body is still in my arms...

Even though her body is still so soft...

Even though I still clearly remember the sound of her voice in my ears...

——Never again.

Will I never be able to relive those moments with her ever again?

"Ar——..."

Just what have I been doing all this time?

... I wanted to make her happy.

I wanted to reach her all sorts of new things.

I wanted to take her to all sorts of new places.

I wanted to... be with her forever.

And yet, none of those things can ever be realized now.

For my entire life—I will never be able to forget this. This will stay with me forever. This death. This feeling silence that's almost enough to drive me insane. This maddening calmness.

These are things that Tohno Shiki will never ever forget.

... I wish I hadn't killed Roa just yet, so that I wouldn't have to be alone right now.

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The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed—Senpai apparently brought me back home when she found me passed out in the destroyed school corridor...

... All alone, with only her silver necklace as a proof that she was not just a figment of my imagination.

It has been a few days since then, and under the watchful yet equally worried eyes of Akiha—and the care and medicine from Hisui and Kohaku, I have finally gained enough strength to walk on my own two feet.

But I did not escape unscathed, as the trouble I have with opening the clasp of the window in my room proves quite pointedly—

—My left hand is dead.

From the tip of my fingers to the jagged scar still present on my wrist—I cannot sense, feel, or move the digits of my hand. An isolated case of rigor mortis, caused by the stab wound from Roa where he managed to cut open my lines and steal the life out of my appendage, who possessed eyes so very similar to mine.

A small price to pay to kill the Dead Apostle in my mind, but seeing Akiha almost break down into tears when the doctor gave his assessment made me keep the comment to myself.

But it is not my unfeeling hand or stiff fingers that is on the forefront of my mind.

For I carry an un-fillable void in my heart——but I continue on as I did before.

... Or rather, I can bear it all. I'm not sure how, but I am able to endure.

At times, I get overwhelmed when I am assailed by memories, but I don't think I'll go insane or anything for now. Every now and then, a memory resurfaces. But even though I feel helpless sometimes, I don't seem to be in any danger of loosing myself yet.

I wonder if one day I'll get used to it, and drift through life like as empty shell.

A person's memories don't last forever. Even if I were to write things down so as to not forget them, the glorious time we spent together... her mannerisms, the sound of her voice, will all fade away bit by bit.

These vivid memories will someday be nothing more than vague recollections of the past.

Some day.

Will I go crazy after not being able to bear these memories or will I just return to living after getting used to them?

Perhaps it's about a fifty-fifty chance.

—But until then,

Even though I know it's pointless, every day I will go and uphold my end of the promise we made.

"—Autumn is drawing to a close, isn't it?"

The sky outside is breathtakingly clear.

After filling my lungs with the cool air, I close the window.

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Classes end and the classroom empties, but I won't leave until the sun sets completely.

The red classroom.

The burning sunset spreads outside the window, and the vermillion sky outside is enough to take my breath away.

The sun flushes red as it sinks deep in the sky.

"..."

I'll always be waiting here.

I'll remember that unforgettable promise; I'll continue waiting here forever—for there's still one promise I haven't been able to fulfill.

"When this is all over—when we're done defeating this vampire... Before we part, can't we do something like this just one more time?"

Back then, she had tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"So—I really was wondering, what would happen if we were to meet again without any responsibilities... If we just met for no particular reason?"

... When I said those words, I was only thinking about her.

"—If you're too busy, then it's okay. I only thought of it just now anyways."

... Just——

Not as two people cooperating, but simply as two friends who get along, not doing anything in particular. If we could create some normal, unremarkable memories like that...

I knew she would be happy

"Okay—! When everything is over, let's come here again, Shiki!

It won't have any meaning, but I'm sure it will be really, really fun—!"

After her eyes widened in surprise, she nodded. And in the classroom bathed by the light of the setting sun, Arcueid smiled and made that promise with me.

——I remember that promise.

——I remember that smile.

——I remember everything.

I can't forget.

I won't allow myself to forget.

I'll always, always remember the promise we made in the room ablaze with the sunset to meet here again—

"..."

The sun sinks further.

Three hours until the vermillion fades completely, the quite time until the crimson sky disappears. This eternal, fleeting instant of a world standing still.

Maybe I am already crazy.

It's possible that I have already gone mad, as I wait for someone who will never arrive—Almost as though I am desperately clinging onto those happy memories.

Even though I am waiting for someone who will never come, my heart is horribly calm.

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——Clatter.

The sound of something touching a desk.

I look over.

The previously closed window is now ajar.

My mind takes a second to catch up.

I realize that—painted in red sunset, she is standing by the window.

She doesn't move at all, but she's there.

She's right in front of me; She's not an illusion.

But, I feel like there is a space which can never be spanned between us.

A distance between us that can never be crossed.

"——" I can't speak.

But, I feel so terribly calm right now.

"... Geez, I give up. I really was planning on disappearing, Shiki, but you'd just wait for me forever. I couldn't just leave you alone like that, so I came here."

She smiles bashfully, as though embarrassed.

"... Well, of course I did. I love you. And I told you I was never going to break a promise with you again, didn't I?"

"That's true. Thank you, for keeping that promise, Shiki."

The feeling is mutual.

I wonder if this is really happening.

Or maybe I've already lost my mind, and this is nothing more than an illusion.

But either way, I have to thank her for granting my wish...

"——But I'm sorry. It seems that this time, I'm the one who won't be able to keep my part of the promise."

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"... Why?"

... I'm surprised at myself.

I ask her this in a truly gentle tone, without any anger or entreaty in my voice at all.

I'm surprised, but also... happy.

"... Yeah, I never did tell you my reason for pursuing Roa.

Actually, along time ago... I once drank human blood. At that time, the human stole some of my power and became an incredibly strong and fearsome Dead Apostle.

In the end, he ended up killing all the other True Ancestors except for me."

—Then, that means...

"... You mean Roa?"

"Yes. Until that time, I never knew about the vampiric impulse. The other True Ancestors also believed I did not have it.

But, it was too late. Until then—I didn't even know I was a vampire. What it meant to be a vampire. So..., I didn't even know it was something I mustn't do."

... I see. Never having been taught anything extra or unnecessary, she wasn't even taught she was the same as those she was born to kill.

"But that doesn't excuse my actions. Because of just one mistake, I ended up destroying everyone.

—So I vowed never to drink blood again. But, a True Ancestor that has drank blood once cannot remain sane without doing it again."

"—"

"... I can only be here because you completely 'killed' Roa. Even though I annihilated him so many times, it was only his flesh and not his soul. But you killed his existence completely, Shiki. So—the power he stole returned to me and I somehow managed to revive."

"—That—doesn't..."

"But, that's all I can do. I can no longer resist the vampiric impulse inside of me. That is why—"

"That... doesn't matter—"

"... Shiki, I can't see you again. Sorry for breaking our promise."

... That doesn't matter to me.

I just—want you to be by my side, that's all——

"... You can keep your promise."

"Shiki...?"

"Drink my blood. If you do—you can keep your promise.

Won't doing that solve everything...?"

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Time is the only thing that continues to flow.

Neither of us says anything.

And after a truly maddening silence that feels like an eternity—

"—I see. I'm really glad.

But, I think I'll pass. I don't want your blood, Shiki."

"Why? Is my blood not good enough?

Do you have a reason for not drinking my blood?"

Arcueid nods her head.

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"I love you, so I won't."

She smiles like a flower in full bloom, as she tenderly bids me farewell.

"..."

I suck in a large amount of air, and just try to suppress this feeling.

This feeling that threatens to send me careening over the edge.

I want to stop her.

I want to stop her.

I want to stop her.

I want to stop her.

—Even if I have to kill her, I want to stop her.

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But, her smile is too gorgeous.

I can't bring myself to ruin it with my selfish thoughts.

"—–Farewell. I truly am grateful for everything, Shiki."

My throat trembles, and no sound comes out.

But still—I have to say goodbye.

Even when I was young—

I think I knew it was the improper way to send off someone that was dear to me.

"... I am a liar."

"Why? You kept your promise, didn't you, Shiki?"

"—Just a worthless liar.

Even though... I promised to make you happy."

Yes, I vowed to.

"... No, not at all. I'm about to go back to sleep, but when I do, I'll dream about you—Shiki.

The time we spent together was incredibly fun—I enjoyed it so much, that I want to always be dreaming about it.

That's why I'll keep on dreaming of my time with you, forever."

"—"

"It won't have any meaning, but I'm sure it will be really, really fun.

So, Shiki, I really am happy.

You really did make me happy, just as you said you would."

"Damn..."

My throat is filled up. I don't—I don't want such a...

"... You really are kind, aren't you, Shiki? Yeah, I knew coming here to say goodbye was a good thing.

I love you Shiki.

I love everything about you dearly.

I love your honesty, your recklessness, how you are always spaced out, how I'm the only one you yell at and are fussy towards, how you always look forward to the future and face everything with all your strength...

I love all of you.

So please—keep on living just the way you are, okay?"

For just an instant, she smile is tinged with sorrow.

She's so... beautiful.

It reminds of how I felt when I first saw her.

It reminds me of how I've felt time and time again since.

It reminds me of the flower of the moon, who forgave even a murderer like me.

Even under these circumstances—no, precisely because of these circumstances—it reminds me of just how worthless of a person I am.

No matter what happens after this, no matter who it is that I love, I will always hold a different kind of admiration for this beautiful being.

Even though I do not dream—

I will spend my whole life yearning for that what-if.

Yearning for a world where we could once again meet; one like a flower blooming within my breast.

She waves her hand, and as if fading into the sunset itself, she disappears before my very eyes.

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I grit my teeth, trying to hold it in.

She was smiling until the very end, so atleast I didn't want to cry.

——The classroom is empty.

"... I see. You really did keep your promise, didn't you."

No answer comes, as the curtain lightly sways as a gentle breeze enters though the open window.

In this classroom.

Out promise to meet again in the classroom as the sun sets.

She definitely kept it.

... There are some things I lost, but my wait is now finally over.

The curtain has fallen cleanly over the time I knew her, the time I ran through with her.

Come to think of it, a farewell is always there.

In our case, out farewell was only early.

Thinking of it that way, this was a really satisfying farewell.

She was still alive, and she... told me... she's... still... happy—

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"—No...! Not like this... this isn't—what I wanted...!"

—Right.

More—

I wanted to be with her more.

I wanted to talk with her more.

I wanted to spend time with her more.

I wanted to feel the need warmth of her body more.

More—I wanted to see her smile more. Always.

Not like this... But always—I just wanted to make her happy.

But she...

Smiling to the very end, she left me behind, telling me to keep on living.

"——That stupid... idiot..."

That was her final wish.

... In truth, deep down, I'm as hollow as a corpse.

I know all too well that I am simply a coward that bottles up all the fear he feels.

And yet, with a smile, she told me that no matter how hard it is—even it I have to deceive myself right now, until I can finally look back and see it all as simply a memory, to keep looking forward to the future and live.

"Tch...!"

There's no way I can do that—I don't have the slightest confidence to live like that.

... Still, if that is what it takes to make sure she can have a happy dream—

I will have to grant her wish.

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"... Ah."

When I come to my senses, I realize the sun has long since set.

The bright crimson sky is painted over in a brilliant shade of dark blue.

The dark night sky.

Spiral wisps of clouds.

And a white shining moon.

——They are all that's left.

Of an extremely beautiful memory.

I exhale slowly, as if praying.

She may no longer be here, but I need to get the words I'd I forgotten to say, off my chest.

Sorry Sensei... but I ended up making the same mistake once again.

"Goodbye, Arcueid.

I... had a lot of fun too."

Those extremely late words of farewell echo in the classroom.

This will be my final memory of her.

Eventually the moon will dim, and the night will come to an end.

Only the fragile looking glass-like moon hangs in the night sky.

The distant blue moon looking as if it would shatter is touched.

For a long time, as long as I can—until the night gives way to dawn, I keep looking at it.

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Michael Roa Valdamjong is finally dead...

... but SHIKI's soul managed to survive.

After eighteen reincarnations, Roa no longer existed as a person, but more as a concept.

Each time his soul left it's old body and inhabited a new one like a parasite, a little more of his original being faded away.

At the end only his goals remained, his search for Eternity and true immortality—his thesis of "eternity exists only as long as there is an observer."

So when my knife pierced his body and extinguishing the existence of his soul, I never considered that my foster brother could be stubborn enough to remain alive after all of that for one goal and one goal only:-

Taking revenge on me for stealing his life as Tohno Shiki.

On that distant midsummer day, I was the one who was killed my him when his Tohno blood awakened and he Inverted—but in his madness, a twisted logic remains.

His claws had torn open my chest and pierced my heart... but in the end, I survived due to Akiha interfering, and SHIKI received judgement from the Tohno family.

It is the duty of the Tohno family head to put down Inverted members of the clan—but despite his many flaws, Makihisa Tohno did truly love his children, and could not bring himself to kill his own son.

So Tohno SHIKI was hidden away and to not let the outside world get suspicious, and I, Nanaya Shiki, took his place, and replaced him as the eldest son of the Tohno household.

So in a way—I was the one who killed SHIKI, and not the other way round.

Being hidden away by his father while I was the one who lived in his place... I can only imagine how he must have felt. To SHIKI, I am simply an imposter who is using his real name; and that is why he hates me more than anything in the world.

A hatred so strong that it defied logic itself, letting his soul take control of his dead body once I destroyed Roa's soul and freed him from the Dead Apostle's control.

I didn't do it willingly... but I suppose he doesn't care about that. To SHIKI, I am just the pretender who stole everything that was his—his name, his home, his sister.

Without any abatement, he lived and seethed in hatred these past eight year...

...So of course he wants to kill me.

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—But I am still the one that was killed.

Yeah, I had things stolen from me too. Eight years ago I was only nine years old. The Nanaya Shiki who lived until that time disappeared without a trace, just like his whole clan...

I can't recall my past too well. I don't have this urge to meet my true parents or anything, but the fact that I cannot remember any memories, good it bad, from that time—

Pisses me off.

...But I won't fight because of hatred. I refuse to do so, for then no distinction will remain between Shiki and SHIKI.

I do hate him, but it doesn't matter. For I will not kill him because I hate SHIKI—I will kill him because I love Akiha.

Even when I was hunting down Roa... Saving the innocent citizens was the excuse I gave, but that was not my true motivation.

I simply didn't want Arcueid to try too hard and burn herself out—She was always going through so much pain... yet always tried to act so cheerful in front of me.

I loved her, and that was why I had promised her that I'd help until the very end.

And since I also love Akiha, I will also do my utmost to help her until the very end—and if SHIKI is a threat to my sister's wellbeing...

... I will just have to kill him.

Non-Tsukihime readers, this one's mainly for you people. How did you like this chapter? Does it make sense? Did it get you emotional, cause it surely made me emotional while writing it. Share your thoughts and any questions you have in the reviews please. And for those who did not like it, no worries, the next chapter will be back in the present, with our favourite murder boy dealing with the consequences of his good ol' actions!

Also, the dichotomy of Hisui being the most wholesome/innocent/moral heroine in all of Tsukihime, maybe even in all of the Type Moon VN verse, and then having the most disturbing and straight-up traumatizing True End that just makes the reader uncomfortable in a way they didn't know was possible, is just fucking beautiful on so many levels. Just a random thought I had as I was rereading the OG VN for inspiration and ideas and stuff.

Please leave a review sharing your thoughts on the chapter, it would mean the world to me. It is what motivates us writers to write more. And thank you for reading so far, I hope you enjoyed it and hope you read the next chapter as well, so until then—Adios!

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