Act Like a Boss, Mr. Swallow

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[Translator – Jjescus]

[Proofreader – Zain]

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“What would you do if I got so stressed that my skull might actually split open?”

Patrick said, adding with frustration as he grabbed his head. Whether it was because Patrick was pitiable or not, Devourer nodded towards Renee. Understanding Devourer’s intention, Renee responded with a light gesture before slowly opening her mouth.

“All right, Mr. Patrick. Let’s get to the point. You probably know… humans have finally attempted an invasion on the right path. The problem is, the number and level of humans are exceptional, and ‘116 Black Tentacles,’ who were guarding the right path, are in a very precarious state.”

“That’s strange. Mr. Tentacles isn’t someone who would easily succumb to humans.”

“Perhaps because there were quite a few using flame-type magic. He couldn’t handle flame magic well. Earlier, when dealing with those guys, sparks were flying everywhere. There were even flame pillars reaching up to the knees.”

Still itching from the hits, Devourer scratched her knees vigorously.

“He had bad luck. The matchup wasn’t in his favor.”

“Indeed, there were quite a few wizards. When I roughly counted while retrieving equipment, more than half were magic users.”

“So, how is Mr. Tentacles now? Is he at the brink of death? Or…?”

“He was in a state where he either rooted himself completely underground or couldn’t avoid getting completely burned. All visible tentacles were burned away, and the problem is the core of the tentacles… The state of the core is not good either. We’ll have to wait and see, but in the current situation, it seems unlikely for a complete recovery.”

It was undoubtedly a fierce battle. Considering the nature of tentacles, they prefer a method of penetrating prey like a spear when hunting. Pouring acid on prey to use them as spawning material became impossible in many ways.

A tentacle that attacked humans ruthlessly without choosing means and methods likely meant there was no time for even thoughts. The fact that the humans who invaded this time were strong opponents indicated as much.

“So, complete recovery is impossible?”

“We need to observe a bit more, but based on the current situation, that seems to be the case.”

There was a moment of silence in the heavy atmosphere. Patrick, who seemed to have something to say, closed his mouth, feeling the unusually somber mood.

Devourer was the first to break the silence.

“Well, let’s not worry too much. Tentacles always had exceptional regenerative abilities.”

“Right, when the boss first brought him, he was almost dead. At first, I thought the boss brought a corpse of Tentacles.”

“Unfortunate, but Tentacles wasn’t able to stop the humans. That’s also a fact.”

“That’s true.”

This was a dungeon. Even from the monster’s perspective, it was a battlefield where allies were dying. Letting the enemy break through without fulfilling the assigned mission was a big mistake in itself. Moreover, the defeat of the right-hand man of the boss monster, not an ordinary monster, should be held accountable.

“Let’s see how it goes, and if necessary, we have no choice but to look for another gatekeeper.”

“Oh, boss. Then, when you find one, please bring two. I might as well quit when that happens.”

“No, even if only your rib bones remain, you should still protect our dungeon, right?”

“If only you could show me a half of the kindness you show to Ms. Renee?”

While Patrick spoke with a resentful gaze, Devourer yawned as if she was deliberately bored.

“… Regardless of what happened, now humans will continue to come from the right path. They might organize another large-scale expedition soon.”

So far, most of those who attacked the ‘Primordial Core’ chose the left path, and every time, Renee’s retaliation was relentless. It was also a fact that the perception had been formed that ‘Even the gatekeepers cannot win in this dungeon, the Primordial Core.’

In such a situation, the expedition force that suddenly chose the right path defeated ‘116 Black Tentacles,’ the most outer defense, which achieved the goal of confirming the true identity of the boss that had been hidden in the unknown so far.

A faint ‘ray of hope’ emerged, as they might be able to conquer the Primordial Core.

“If I may add one more thing, humans may already be organizing a new expedition. Nowadays, humans use communication magic like oracles quite actively, so the information that a gap has appeared in the right sewage path might have already spread.”

I’m not sure how far communication magic reaches, but it’s highly likely that they communicated after defeating the tentacles. Humans are not the type to just stand by and watch when a gap they’ve finally created is being filled. They’ve always been like that. Humans steadily gnawed away at dungeons, using such methods.

This time will probably be no different. If the human horde returns, they might reorganize a large-scale expedition soon to head for the right sewage path.

— I won’t fall for such an obvious tactic.

“So, we need to plan accordingly.”

With a serious tone devoid of playfulness, Devourer spoke with a sly smile.

“Listen up, both of you. We’re changing our positions.”

“What? I thought you were going to come up with some amazing plan again.”

“No, listen. It’s really amazing. First, Renee, you guarded the left red path, right? From today, Renee, you’ll guard the right sewage path. If my prediction is correct, the next expedition will definitely go that way, thinking that path is empty. Renee, you just need to block them.”

“Renee can handle even if several come, Sir Devourer.”

“…Next, the left red path that Renee originally guarded will be taken over by Patrick. If the humans notice that Renee is on the right sewage path, they’ll likely turn towards the left red path where Renee originally was. Then, Patrick, you just need to block them. This way, we can prevent two invasions.”

“Just a moment? Boss? What if the humans blocked by Renee don’t enter the left red path, but instead, go into the central blue path? What will you do then?”

“Then, is there a way to escape? It’s like having a direct date with me.”

“No, what kind of sloppy plan is this…”

He added more words, but Devourer just tilted her head without saying anything.

Without entertaining any dissent, Patrick marveled. He genuinely marveled. It was admiration that spontaneously burst out because it was so absurd.

“Patrick, there’s something you overlooked. Humans are so stupid that they can’t even imagine that we would think this much. This is a perfect plan.”

“The moment the words ‘unavoidably…’ came into the plan, it fell apart. Renee, what are you saying this time…”

“It’s perfect, Sir Devourer!”

“…I expected this reaction, to be honest.”

With a sparkling gaze, Renee looked at Devourer. After staring at the silver-haired maid for a while, Patrick muttered dryly.

Yeah, let’s just give up on everything.

* * *

“As for other dungeon improvement suggestions, first, ‘There’s too much trash left by humans in room 3, when are you going to clean it up?’ and…”

“Room 3? Did the guys from room 3 suggest this? Are we the janitors? Who told them to submit dungeon improvement requests? Where are they now? What are they doing?”

“They were wiped out this time.”

“Next.”

“Next, ‘What’s the concept of our dungeon, exactly?’ and…”

“This question is so useless that it’s probably Patrick’s suggestion.”

Patrick’s jaw, itching to respond, wobbled. When he met the gaze of Devourer, he naturally averted his eyes.

“Well, anything is fine, just submit whatever complaints you have.”

“Sigh…”

“Let’s just sigh.”

“The concept… I’ll try my best. Renee, read the next one.”

“Yes. The next suggestion… that was the last one, Sir Devourer.”

This time, Renee awkwardly smiled and quickly distanced herself. A small piece of paper fell to the ground behind Renee.

『Rather than eating the food made by Renee, I’d rather die…』

“What is this!?”

When Patrick, who noticed the fallen paper, extended his bony words, the sound of black shoes stepping on the paper echoed. Stepping on the paper as it was, Devourer laughed coldly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.”

—Devourer also pretended not to see.

The meeting was coming to an end. In essence, the biggest topic of the meeting was the invasion of humans, so once they decided to change their positions, there was no need to drag on the meeting.

“Lastly, we have ‘income distribution’ left.”

Saying that, Renee rummaged through the front pocket of her white apron. Two thin sheets of parchment came out from the front pocket.

Showing the list written on the parchment to Devourer, Renee spoke.

“Excluding the ones that are damaged and unusable, quite a few came out this time. It seems that there were quite a few heads among the humans who came this time.”

“Handle it as we always do. Use what we can use on our side to the fullest, and the useless ones can be used as bait for the next guys or stored in the warehouse.”

“I’ll take care of the detailed distribution, Sir Devourer. But for magical items, there are not many usable monsters this time, and if we detach the magical stones separately, it might fetch a decent amount of money if we sell them. Shouldn’t we sell them?”

“Oh. Then, I might as well visit the human village after a while. Most of the food made by humans is delicious. It wouldn’t be bad to buy a lot with the money we’ve earned. However, Renee going there… Maybe transforming into a human is too awkward, so you might be exposed quickly, Boss.”

“Uh, um, Sir Devourer. Actually, Renee also has a similar thought to Mr. Patrick… That is…”

“…Then bring back a lot of delicious things.”

In quick resignation, Renee forced a smile, as if apologizing.

“As for the armor, distribute it as much as possible, sell magical items separately to humans, and… after sorting everything out, there’s one thing left, this sword.”

“A sword? What sword? Is it something special?”

The one who reacted to Devourer’s question before Renee was Patrick. As soon as the words ended, Patrick, who stood up from his seat, headed towards a pile of human corpses. From within, he pulled out a large greatsword that seemed to be at least 2 meters long.

“The sword the leader of the recent expedition team was using.”

Vern’s greatsword.

Gripping the sword with one hand, Patrick exerted force on his wrist and swung the sword, producing a loud and rhythmic sound as it cut through the air. After a few turns, he stabbed the sword back into the ground, speaking with a serious tone.

“As heard, it’s light, and the blade is sharp. To handle it properly, you’ll need effort and talent, but it’s such a good sword that even a beginner can easily cut through rocks. Seeing someone carrying this, it seems the guy who came this time was quite strong.”

“Indeed, compared to the humans from before, they were tenacious and managed to avoid damage skillfully. But what kind of sword is it?”

“Oh, this. It’s famous among humans. Boss might have heard of it, but it’s one of the 36 Masterpieces… it’s quite a famous weapon, called Tanabella or something like that. Anyway, you can think of it as something good. One of the labels Renee has is also one of the 36 Masterpieces.”

“…Humans carry such good things.”

“Even if you have that level of equipment, it won’t be able to conquer the dungeon. Ultimately, where you place this sword is the key. Well, even if we give it to the monsters near the entrance, it will be taken back by humans, and if something like this gets into human hands again, we’ll be in trouble.”

“The monsters near the entrance were all wiped out, so we can’t give it to them.”

“Since it turned out that way, Boss should take care of it…”

“Then you should take it.”

“Me?”

“Patrick, you use a sword too, right? Isn’t it something you can use?”

“Well, but if Renee also has a label, and she’s using it well…”

“Just now, didn’t you say, ‘Renee also has one’? If you each have one, it would be better. Renee, what do you think?”

Saying so, Devourer smiled at Renee. Then, with a wink and a red face, she looked at Renee, mixing embarrassment with a slightly flirtatious expression.

Blushing and flustered, Renee stammered out her answer.

“Y-yes! Of course! Since Renee already has one!”

Mumbling and fumbling, Renee took out what she had from her front pocket—a small blade with a wrapped handle and no hilt.

“S-since I have this, the ‘Fang of Execution,’ it’s okay! Even if I didn’t have something like this, R-Renee always follows Devourer’s choices…”

Still under the influence of Devourer’s laughter, Renee, who was still stumbling, looked at Devourer with a somewhat embarrassed expression. Devourer, still under the influence of that laughter, scratched the back of her head as she added an explanation.

“As you can see, Patrick. It’s decided that you’ll have the one you have.”

“Oh… really…? Ah… I see… Haha! Well, there’s no help for it! Since it’s Boss’s command! Since I received the order, I’ll take it.”

Despite Patrick’s attempts to hide his joy, his chin continued to rattle noisily. Devourer, briefly contemplating how to react to such an overt response, tried to maintain an indifferent expression, pretending not to notice.

Since a while ago, whenever there was a gap during the meeting, Patrick kept glancing at the sword, his reaction clearly indicating his intense desire. Devourer, pondering for a moment on how to respond to such an obvious display, managed to put on a poker face, feigning nonchalance.

“Since I gave you the sword, tear up the resignation letter you hid in your ribcage.”

She Devoured those words with forced composure, as Patrick, who had been looking forward to it, eagerly shook his head again. The atmosphere was becoming more relaxed, and Devourer decided to change the subject.

This place was called the ‘Primordial Core.’

A place where the fearsome Homunculus Maid, the Death Knight emitting deathly energy, and the colossal Ancient Monster resided.

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[Translator – Jjescus]

[Proofreader – Zain]

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