A World of Feathers and the Island of the Moon

Sam.

It was quite the simple name that I chose for myself.

I didn’t put any thought into it, I didn’t think that my task needed too much thought. It was just setting up a ritual and opening a door. I should have completed it within a year.

But that didn’t happen, in fact I spent many years stalling the completion of my duty. I wasn’t planning it that way at the start, at first the strategists from hell realized they miscalculated the energy required for the job and said that I had to extend the operation to the surrounding forest.

The extended operation would have taken an extra two years at most, but I sent false reports saying that the energy readings were still too low. I said I was marking the passing river travelers to supplement the deficiency and how I would complete my job in due time.

So why did I lie to my kin?

Maybe devils are naturally unable to work in another’s interest for long stretches of time. Maybe I got too invested in my simple name, maybe I liked walking through the forest and feeling the sun on my skin. Maybe I liked running away to my little cave when I needed to think and feel. Maybe I had something in that world that was impossible to find in hell, friends, dare I say loved ones.

The villagers were strangely accepting of me from the start. I guess I was, and am, a kid, but that has never garnered sympathy in hell. Kids in hell get used as free labor or sometimes as food for infernal beasts. The humans clothed me, raised me as part of the village. At first I thought it some sort of trick, a method to get me to stop focusing on my mission, but the knife in my back never arrived.

The longer I stalled the worse the situation got. I grew more and more attached to the humans each day.

But devils are not patient creatures, and excuses only anger the forces of hell. I was given an ultimatum, finish it by the end of the month or they send backup.

Backup… Backup doesn’t just mean my job will be done, it also means the villagers will be subjected to whatever torture my backup cooks up. They would be kept alive for a bit, but their last days would have been true misery.

It… It had to be done. And yet, I’m glad it didn’t happen. Telling Diana was objectively a mistake, but I couldn’t just plunge them all into the space between worlds without them knowing why. They would have been so scared. I didn’t want them to be afraid.

I tried to tell Diana that it was just an early departure, how all mortals will die eventually. Obviously she didn’t take it too well. To be fair I didn’t believe it either.

To try and make her understand I showed her my true form, and she screamed and ran from my little cavern. I understood it at the time, after all I did tell her that her village would be sacrificed to the forces of hell. Her screams still hurt me in a way I didn’t know I could be hurt.

After she ran from me I started the ritual. A few minutes before I thought I’d be able to find them in hell, to explain myself and we could all be happy together while they wait. But after seeing Diana’s reaction to me I knew they would never accept what had to be done.

I didn’t know my kind could cry before that moment, it was a very human experience. My tears were as red as the pain I felt.

I activated the ritual, but it would take time to withdraw the energy from such a dispersed source. I could see the fires starting on the trees I had marked. Their souls couldn’t resist nearly as much as sentient creatures.

Surprisingly enough Diana returned. She was still visibly afraid, but I didn’t notice at the time. I didn’t want to see it. All I thought of is that she didn’t abandon me, that she accepted the situation and I could find her soul in hell and we could be happy.

I let her approach me, and the next moment my throat was full of silver. At first I felt betrayed and afraid. When devils die they can’t retain themselves in any afterlife, they are destined to be remade in the cycle of reincarnation.

But I wasn’t only afraid for myself, my mind was clouded with worry for her. When plunging cold metal into my throat she was crying. I’d never seen her cry before either, she was always the older kind friend who was confident and made me feel safe.

In retrospect I can realize she was a child, just a child who was trying to save her family. The family that was doomed no matter what she did.

But she wasn’t doomed, my mark never stuck to her. It was as if hell itself wouldn’t accept it.

She’d be alone if the portal opens. Then the demons from it would have killed her. I… I wasn't willing to allow that to happen.

”My… my eye… take it.” I said weakly through chucks on blood and flesh that blocked my throat. I then used my claws to slowly pry my left eye out of its socket while my strength quickly left me.

There were so many words I wanted to say to her that I no longer had the strength to. ‘I’m sorry’ was at the top of my mind, but ‘Please help them’, and ‘I was lucky to have met you’ were both strong contenders.

But I didn’t get to say any of those words, and after I forced my bloody eye into her shaking hands I died and eventually ended up in the line to reincarnate. I’ve been slowly moving forward for years now.

It is very lucky that the leaders of hell never found out about my treachery, or I would never be able to move on to the next life. Not that it really matters if my soul is destroyed or I reincarnate, both are essentially the death of this version of me, but I would be put through a lot of pain before the demons destroy my soul.

Do I have regrets? Not particularly, no. Well… one or two I guess. I know Diana didn’t die, which is good, but I think the villagers must have. I can’t sense my marks on them, which means either the portal opened, which I doubt given how demons are still in hell, or that they all died.

I regret that I put them in a situation where they had to die, but if it wasn’t me then someone else would have been sent to make it happen. I regret how I made Diana do something so horrible. I couldn’t have done it myself, I know that for a fact. I hope she’s grown past it, as much as she’s able to at least. I still haven’t.

-BANG-

The sudden noise nearly made me jump into the air. All the faded spirits look around to find the source of the disturbance, and we find it in the air above as a quickly flying red storm.

Something falls on top of our spiritual forms. Little red specs start to lightly dust around us, it is an oddly satisfying sensation that clearly does not belong in the pits of hell.

All of this screams foreign. Nothing physical should be able to touch us ghostly beings, and yet there is no supernatural energy I can sense from any of these little specs.

What are these little things? Parasites? The ashes of some monster? Little particles of rust? Paprika? Whatever it is, the congregation seems to have stopped above the general area I am in.

We all look up as the strange red dust falls, and the cloud starts to move down. Most of the mortal spirits whisper that it’s a demon, but I know better. Demons would not bring a comforting aura and a silent approach.

What's odd, it seems to be approaching me. What’s more is that there is a living human woman riding in the red substance.

It looks very much like a face I remember, but it can’t be her. The Diana I remember wasn’t so messy, she surely didn’t have bags under her eyes and dirty hair.

She certainly wasn’t as tall back then.

The storm of red dust settles to form a bipedal figure, and as the woman steps on the ground the powder around her falls.

“Sam!” the woman declares in an accusatory tone.

Sam, I’ve only ever told those villagers that name. It was made up, an illusionary word to be discarded. So why does hearing her say that name so harshly hurt so much?

I can’t respond to her, I can’t bring myself to face her harsh gaze. She repeats her voice more angrily.

“SAM! TALK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

I… I always expected that a reunion would turn out like this. But still the way I’m feeling is far worse than anything I could’ve prepared myself for. Trying to keep my words steady I respond.

“Hello Diana, you don't belong in hell.”

My attempt at being casual only serves to make Diana more frantic. She starts to visibly grit her teeth and her voice comes out more angered than before.

“You don’t get to fucking choose where I am you asshole! I have half a mind to bind your soul to one of these grains of sand and let you rot here forever for everything you've done to me!"

What can I say to that? It's not like I don't deserve it. If I'd had been better all those years ago I could have done the deed instead of her, I could have spared her from that pain. I... I don't think I can help her now. There's no words left to say that would have anyone understand, let alone the biggest victim of my actions.

"Shut Up" She exclaims while glaring daggers at me, which is odd because I did not speak any more words out loud. "You're not aloud to be regretful, this is all your fault!" She then turns to the red figure and says "You! You're doing this! Make it stop! I've heard enough, so please make it end!"

Suddenly a booming noise comes from the red figure. "You can not ignore the truth. His thoughts will teach you more about your past."

Her past? Is Diana in danger? Those words seemed to have made her start to tear up, should I try to protect her from the figure? Does she need my help, would she accept it after everything I've done?

Strangely as more time passes Diana's tears flow more freely. This red monster must be doing something to her, I should get rid of it. But how? A soul can not interact with matter, yet this sand did land on my spiritual form when the beast was overhead. I guess the only way to learn is to start punching.

"Foolish Child" the booming voice declares. It's voice strikes some fear in my mind, but I owe it to Diana to reach past that. I put myself between Diana and the figure, then say "Leave now, you really shouldn't hurt her." It is normally an odd scene, a younger looking child protecting a strong magician, however Diana clearly is being harmed by this thing.

The red dust creature moves towards us, and I give throw a punch. But it does not go as planned, as my soul starts to sink into the red creature and I quickly see nothing but scarlet and feel only little rocks upon my 'skin'. This... this is a fine way to go. I can only hope Diana has started to make a run for it.

"How. Very. Tragic" I hear as my consciousness fades to black.