A Scholar's travels with a Witcher

“Ok, so I guess I'll start,” I began. I leant forward slightly and had time enough to catch Kerrass' eye and the look of fatalistic curiosity that hid deep inside him.

“Lord Dorme, I hope you understand that I say this with all possible due respect but,” I paused for effect knowing that what I was about to say might bring me the sweet release of death. “I'm pretty sure I hate your guts.” I leant back in the chair that had been given to me as the effort of that part of the conversation had exhausted me.

The knights that were inside the tent who made up what passed for Lord Dorme's command group shifted and started shouting. There were cries of “How dare you speak...” and “Don't you know who....” and other such things that I had passed the point of caring what they said. They were not my opponent at that point and if one of them did draw their weapons and kill me where I sat then at least I wouldn't have to sit through another day of my insides rearranging themselves inside my body, and the fevers and the explosive expulsion of foodstuffs from both ends of my body that was happening on a regular basis.

It would seem that being poisoned by spider venom that dissolves your innards and then being cured by that similar but different spider venom can do nasty things to you. At first I had tried to enjoy the experience. At least it meant that I was still alive rather than slowly liquefying somewhere but after a while, falling from your horse and crawling off to the side of the road to vomit violently gets really old.

Kerrass was in the pavilion with me and had allowed himself a smile at my statement.

When Dorme raised his hand to silence his flunkies Kerrass waited for the silence and said very distinctly. “I think what my companion is trying to say is that you can take your new contract and shove it up your ass.”

I nodded at him, “Wiser words have never been spoken,”

“I am learning eloquence in my later years,” he dead-panned back at me.

Of course this set the knights back to arguments, shouting and threatening us and each other.

Lord Dorme just sat in his chair behind the table and put his head into his hands. If it had been anyone else I would have had sympathy for the man. As it was I just, well, found it kind of amusing. To be fair to him it was becoming clear what kind of thing he was dealing with when it came to his companions. They were the angry kind of young folk who like to imagine a non-existent time past where men were men, women were helpless beautiful creatures that needed rescuing and peasants got out of the road promptly and were properly grateful that they were aloud to exist. Upon learning that I was a scholar rather than a knight I seemed to be lumped into the catch all category of peasant. As for Kerrass, if there was a category of being below the level of peasant then Kerrass belonged to it. They were the kind of people that harped on about “the old days” despite being in their mid to late teens.

They weren't going to kill us or even visit one of their rather graphic describe punishments on to us. They didn't dare as it seemed that, quite by accident, we had lucked onto something that made us invaluable to their cause.

You might call me petty but I took every opportunity to twist this knife into Dorme's gut whenever I could. What can I say, being poisoned has this way of really focusing your anger.

That first night where we had camped within sight of the Spider Queen's black Citadel while Dorme's men went through the place, looting it down to the bare stone. I slept like a baby, until early morning when I was woken up by an alarming noise coming from my digestive tract. It was the howling of a beast in pain.

I made it to the Jacks, just, and what was produced was the most unpleasant viscous..... You know I've just realised that polite people might be reading this. Lets just say that it was loud and unpleasant. I was actually met by the camp surgeon on my way back to the tent as it had been reported to him that there was someone in the Jacks potentially shitting themselves to death. This is the kind of thing that makes army surgeons jittery as it could potentially be dysentery or another equally unpleasant illness that spreads through an army camp. Apparently he spotted me immediately as I was limping as there is a very specific kind of limp that occurs in someone who is suffering from such an extreme “gastric incident.” Basic medicine informed me that that's what happens when you need the toilet that urgently. In case you were wondering, that was when I decided to stop studying medicine.

I studied field medicine, stitching up wounds and stuff. We didn't get so far into actual illnesses before I dropped out as the entire thing clearly wasn't for me.

Anyway, I explained the recent poison and antidote deal. He had the grace to look embarrassed and told me to drink plenty of water, to keep warm and eat as much as I could stomach as the body would need the strength to expel the remaining toxins.

The camp woke up slowly and orders were given. Food was brought and I ate it like a starving thing and drank boiled water before I started feeling unnaturally cold. I dressed in my winter clothing as my more recent clothing was still unusable and I had resigned myself to buying a new shirt anyway but I just sat there, wrapped in a blanket and shivered.

Despite my illness, Kerrass and I were still ready long before the “army” was prepared to move out.

A horse had been brought for “the lady” who only emerged from the tent at the last possible moment. I tried to tell if she had managed to get any sleep at all but it was impossible to tell. Her illusion was up and she moved to the horse that Kerrass was holding ready for her with an air of pre-occupation. She had eaten her provided breakfast without comment and we made sure that there was extra food around in case she needed it during the march.

The horse objected to her presence until Kerrass made one of his little gestures over the poor things nose until it subsided.

She did not react. If anything her illusory face was more still and mask-like than before. The voluminous black robe was still, barely moving despite the wind and her staff was nowhere to be seen giving the impression of an insects shell.

We marched. It was less than pleasant and as I say I spent the majority of time shivering uncontrollably and having to take frequent breaks to either vomit or spend time looking for large leaves in the undergrowth if you take my meaning.

Not that this was a problem. The column moved so slowly that every time I needed to take a break I easily caught up with my position in the column. Over those two days we covered about the same amount of distance as Kerrass and I would have covered in just under a day. Kerrass by himself could have probably done it in a morning's effort.

My illness subsided over those first couple of days but I was still not entirely healthy and feeling the effects of the toxins and the days ride in the occasional bouts of shuddering that effected my body but at least I wasn't entirely exhausted as I had been before. The vampire was summoned both evenings. Without saying a word she would be escorted from our regular little enclosure, would go off for what we guessed was half an hour to an hour before coming back without an exchange of expression. Take the meal that we had left out for her and vanish into the depths of the tent. Kerrass and I said nothing. Going about our chores and keeping up with our new found hobbies. Kerrass was a master of patience at the worst of times and as such he had no difficulty sleeping or just enjoying the incompetence of the small army that we found ourselves in.

The problem was again that there had been three wars inside living memory. It's an important point and that's why I keep mentioning it. From listening to those soldiers that seemed more competent it was obvious that Dorme had stripped his lands and the lands of his allies to make up this force of men. Those self-same allies that were predicting a time of milk and honey after one of them managed to ascend to the throne of Angraal. I struggled to believe it as those people that were wearing the armour and carrying, swords and still figuring out how to use the crossbows that had obviously been looted from battlefields were the people who should have been planting the seeds in the fields at that point in time.

I will admit that this amount of travelling has given me a new perspective on things. I find that I now say the word “nobles” in the same way that many nobles say the word “peasants”. To those people that might be offended at this prospect I ask you these questions. What time did you wake up this morning and start work? Did you have breakfast? How much did you have? What did your work entail? Did you stop for lunch? When did you stop for the evening? Write your answers down on a piece of paper. Now disguise yourself and go out into your fields. Address the first man, or woman, who you do not recognise and ask them the same questions.

Compare the answers.

If the answer is roughly comparable then I would argue that you are not a noble. You are Noble. Do you see the difference?

Dorme and his flunkies were nobles who believed that everyone else on this continent is put here for their amusement and their own purpose.

The second evening after the vampire came back, Kerrass and I were summoned. I liked that we were developing a kind of wordless communication between each other in the presence of people that we didn't like. We looked at each other, shrugged, and moved off. Two guardsmen moved in to the enclosure, I guess to keep an eye on the vampire in her tent. Kerrass stopped and muttered something to one of them and passed over a small bottle of something. As he walked away the young guardsman's face drained of colour and was pouring the contents of the bottle over his sword.

Kerrass' eyes were glinting.

“What was in the bottle?” I asked.

“Apple juice,” he said, expression not changing.

“That's really mean,”

“I know.”

I laughed for us both and pulled the blanket closer around myself a little tighter.

We were led into the presence of Dorme and his many lapdogs.

Have you ever noticed that people who have very little power feel the need to surround themselves with lots of other people who they have authority over in an effort to feel big and important?

It was like that.

They had this map in the middle of the room that that they were all arguing over, it had little flags positioned on it with markers and different kinds of toys. Some clearly re-purposed chess pieces to represent cavalry, fortifications (castles) and infantry (pawns, tells you a lot really). They were all standing round it trying to look like soldiers. One hand resting on their sword pommels while the other hand pointed at the map or their verbal opponents. I had the distinct impression that Dorme knew how ridiculous it all looked as soon as we walked in. He was off to one side talking with one of the older men in the pavilion who had more of an air of quiet confidence than the rest of them put together. This was an actual veteran of war rather than any of the people who wished that the third Nilfgaardian war was still going on so that they could fight it and “see some action”.

We went over to Dorme's side of the room and it became clear that our relationship to him had changed when we were brought chairs.

The others grew silent as they started to register who else was in the room. One or two had to be elbowed into silence as they wanted to know why they should be quiet for a Witcher and some younger son of a Northern Baron.

The fact that they were all younger sons themselves having managed to survive the Nilfgaardian war by virtue of being too young to fight seemed to have escaped them.

We sat, were offered refreshment which we declined for obvious reasons while Dorme started his pitch.

“I wanted to thank you both for what you've done,”

Kerrass and I looked at each other.

“Oh?” I said.

“In your attempts to provide voices of Reason to Her Majesty,”

I decided that bravado was needed here. Bravado with a side order of mockery. He was buttering us up for something.

“Imagine my utter lack of surprise that you've been eavesdropping.”

“It is my camp after all.”

“Granted.” I conceded the point. He could easily still have us executed, vampiric wishes be damned. “What specifically are you talking about?”

“Your efforts to provide her Majesty with an overview of the current political landscape. She must be made to understand how fragile things are at the moment.”

“I agree with you.” I said, “But I can't help but notice that you are using this “fragile” time to launch your own rebellion.”

“But a local one which will barely be noticed by the empire.”

“The empire has noticed such things before.”

A number of the flunkies shifted uneasily at this.

“Never the less,” Dorme continued, speaking over the muttered voices and sounds of shifting armour. “You did well to attempt to keep her grounded.”

Time for some self-deprecation, “I'm not entirely certain we succeeded though.”

“But you did well to try. I also wanted to apologise. I may have been wrong to order your deaths after Her Majesty had been freed.”

My temper flared a little and I spoke without thinking. Verbal sparring on this level requires focus, it's as much about reading the other person and their responses as it is about listening to what's said.

My tutor once told me that it was like playing cards where instead of playing the odds or the cards you have to understand that you are playing the person. I remember arguing that the odds are still going to win the game. After which we played a cards for several days and he beat me to such an extent that over three days I didn't win a single significant hand. The odds of which are impossible to compute.

“Is that all you have to be sorry about?” I growled.

There was another shifting of weight and a few people muttering that I should “Have a care...” as though I would find that threatening.

“Regarding yourself? Yes. I was being hasty but now I find that had I followed through on my first impulse I would have lost a possible route to Her Majesties brain and heart.”

He watched me carefully. I kept my mouth shut as I had realised my error and was concerned that my emotions were still roiling a little too much to allow myself to speak freely.

“I want to offer you both a job. A contract if you will,” he nodded at Kerrass.

I looked at Kerrass. We were getting really good at this whole “communicating with looks” thing. Apparently it's something that married coupled do really well although my parents seemed to have lost the knack in later life.

I told Dorme that I hated him. This did not go well with the flunkies.

I can't imagine why.

After a while of the flunkies not calming down Dorme gestured and the older man that I had noticed before herded them all out into the evening air like the sheep that they were before coming back in.

Dorme looked at him before returning his gaze to me.

“I can understand your hate but I hope you can understand my point here. Regardless of what you think about my methods or my reasons for doing things you have to agree with me on one point. Having an extremely old Higher Vampre prowling around the place is potentially dangerous.”

“I notice that you had us free her anyway.” Kerrass broke in. “Also, don't you have a method for controlling her?”

“I do, and it works but I need to concentrate to use it which means that there are hours of the day where she is up to her own devices. I've told her not to leave or wander off, or attempt to break the hold I have over her but at the same time...”

“So you want to hire us to keep an eye on her.”

“Yes. Deliver my throne to me and I will reward you with more than you can imagine.”

Some of you may know that there is a classic comeback to this kind of offer. Something about being able to imagine quite a bit. I decided that I was too classy to come out with such a line but as a general note to readers. If you're going to make an offer like this. Quantify it. In this case I felt that it was an empty offer. I thought it much more likely that we would simply be killed.

“If we turn the job down?” Kerrass asked.

“I'm afraid I must insist,” Dorme's face shut down.

“I see. So you're not giving us a choice.”

“No, she doesn't talk to me. She sits there, wrapped in her illusion and stares straight ahead while I talk to her and give her instruction. The two of you spend more time with her than anyone else. Talk to her. Tell her things. Involve her in the world that we all have to live in. Calm her down. An angry vampire is not something that any of us want.”

“Tell me,” I said, leaning forwards. “She is a prisoner, we are prisoners. Why should we not feel our sympathies drift towards her side of things?”

“I admit that I thought of this and I have two responses. The first is this. If she is angry and decides to do her own thing, including seize Angraal for herself. Would the two of you survive her wrath? The other thing is this.” He gestured and his older flunky handed over a small book. “The two of you will not know much about the Spider Queen as you don't come from around these parts. She is our bogeyman of history. Our Queen Falka. Her reign was a reign of oppression and blood. This is a book of local history, stories and tales from her period which was from the earliest settlements of this area and lasted for around fifty years. I invite you to read it and come to your own conclusion as to the type of monster that we're dealing with.”

He handed it to me.

“Again,” Kerrass piped up. “The monster that you ordered released.”

Dorme said nothing.

I flicked through the book. It was readable and not simply scrawled in illegible writing. We were obviously dismissed and left.

“Take my advice,” said Kerrass to me. “Take that book and lose it.”

“Why?”

“Just don't read it.”

“Why not?”

“Because history is written by the winners,”

“I know that. I also know that it's not going to paint her in a good light.”

“We have to travel with her. If you read it, become afraid or even angry do you not think that she will react with her own anger. She grows more powerful by the hour as she regenerates from her deprivations of things like air, food and sunlight. True she's not as powerful as she will be. Not yet but one of the few things I agree with Dorme on. She needs handling gently and she can read our minds.”

“Fair point.”

“But you're going to read it anyway aren't you?”

“Damn straight.” Kerrass opened his mouth to say more, “No Kerrass listen. I'm a Historian. This is what I do. I study history. I know that this book,” I waved it in the air for emphasis, “is biased. I know it's hardly the most reliable source of history. But it is history. Even better than that, it's history that I can corroborate with someone who was actually there. That's unheard of. Also, Dorme's right. It will tell us more about her.”

Kerrass sighed.

“The first time we met. You didn't know my past. If I had just come out and told you that I've murdered women and children, would you have travelled with me? Would you have associated with me in any way or would you have condemned me?”

I had no answer to that.

“Thought not,” he said.

“I don't know Kerrass.” I admitted, “but I would like to think that I would have.”

He snorted.

At the time I felt Kerrass' response was a little harsh. It was true that I had every interest in the actual living history of the piece but there was an extra factor that meant that I had something interesting to read during my regular and lengthy visits to the Jacks.

The following days journey passed in silence as we were becoming used to and it wasn't until the following evening when I was sat outside my tent that things started to happen.

The evening meal was over, I was feeling much better than I had for a while and I had discovered, much to my astonishment that I was enjoying myself. Sat there with book in hand, spring sunshine on my face and feeling of the road passing by I felt contented. I had some paper and was jotting down a few thoughts and will admit to being fairly engrossed when the Vampire's voice came to me from just over my right ear.

“You shouldn't believe everything you read you know, Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.”

I picked myself up and righted my stool, brushing grass from my shirt.

“Your smile suggests that you rather enjoyed it though,”

“A scandalous suggestion. It's not my fault that I walk particularly quietly.”

“Break a twig, cough or something.” I righted the stool and sat back down. My brain was screaming at me. 'Keep her talking,' it said.

“How was your meeting with Fuck-face Your Majesty?”

“Fuck-face? Ah yes. I remember. Heh.” She tipped her head to one side as if considering. I was having to remind myself that any illusion she showed me was entirely conscious on her part. “It's beginning to get tedious if I'm honest. He keeps saying the same things. That I should listen to you. That I should do what he wants me to do, why he wants me to do these things and what's going on in Angraal at the moment. It all seems very involved and complicated.”

I gestured towards the stool opposite me hoping that this would be interpreted as an invitation to sit. She did so and I set myself back down.

“And how are you doing?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked curiously.

“Well, in short order you have gone from being imprisoned to being back in the world, under the sky and the world that you left has completely changed.”

She smiled. “Yes but I've gone from one form of captivity to another,”

“Granted. The company must be better though.”

Her smile remained fixed. “Some of it is.”

There was a pause.

“And how are you faring Frederick. Your illness subsiding?”

“My bowels seem to have settled and only lets out the occasional squeal of protest.”

“Good, Where's Kerrass by the way?”

“Off exercising somewhere probably. He occasionally needs solitude and I tend not to interfere. It's also possible he's indulging himself by aggravating the sentries.”

“Should he not be staying nearby?”

“Yes but I don't think they could stop him.”

She nodded.

The silence continued. Aren't awkward conversations fun.

She must have felt the same because she laughed. I was surprised by how warm and comfortable the sound was.

“Do you have any questions?” she asked. “Anything I can clarify?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I understand you are reading about my history. Is it of interest to you?”

“Very interesting as a matter of fact. Very interesting.”

“You don't seem to be very concerned about sitting next to the Spider Queen of Angraal.”

“Why should I be?”

“That book must contain some rather incendiary stories.”

I looked at her for a long time. Her mask was inscrutable. She had changed I noticed. Her robe, which used to envelop her entirely, now seemed to open a little at the front and riding trousers and boots could be seen underneath. They appeared to be made from relatively simple, undyed leather.

They did look brand new though. Her face showed signs of a complexion rather than being porcelain white. The impression was of someone who felt a bit more comfortable in her own skin. I decided that truth was the best route forward.

“I will not lie Your Majesty...”

“Don't call me that,” she interrupted sharply.

“but... Wait, what?”

she sighed and smiled sadly, she was certainly getting better at her expressions. “It no-longer feels fitting somehow.”

“What would you like me to call you then?”

“I do not know yet.”

I nodded. An identity crisis. I should have recognised it.

“As I was saying then Milady. I will not lie. There's some blood curdling stuff in here.” I waved the book at her.

“Anything in particular stand out?”

“Ummm,” I made a pretence of flicking through the book, in truth I had already read it several times and I was using the time to think. “The incident where you ordered 21 people to be slowly impaled outside your castle kind of sticks out.”

She nodded. “The story lacks a certain amount of context. They were trying to destroy a food supply that was required by the entire populace. I had it well guarded and so they failed but we needed to remind people about short term hardship would lead to long term good.”

“That's a lot of context? Is there also a lot of context regarding the incident where you summoned a swarm of blood flies that swept through your lands sucking the blood from all of the younger people for your own sustenance and amusement.”

“That didn't happen. There was an illness and the dead were not getting cleared away fast enough which was causing the plague to spread. The people didn't understand that it wasn't contagious from the corpses but the flies that carried the disease...”

“You could have just told me that there was context.”

There was a pause before she nodded.

“There was indeed context.”

“I am not stupid Your...Milady. I do this for a living. I am well aware that history is written by the winners. This especially as it was written to justify their actions in rising up against their feudal lords to each other and their children. I am also well trained enough to recognise that these stories are written like a bunch of fairy tales.”

“Fairy tales?”

“Fairy tales were defined by the poets Grinn as folk tales that are passed down through the generations, often with supernatural elements, in an effort to pass on certain lessons.”

“I see.”

“In this case,” I waved the book again, “to convince people that you were an evil bitch, that people were justified in hating you. You seem to represent the dark, horrific and wild territory that the heroic settlers had to fight against.”

“It was a very different time,”

“I'm not denying that, but did you really nail several people to the outer walls of your keep until they died of pain and exhaustion. Feeding them so that they could last longer.”

“Yes,”

“You know that people are going to be made uncomfortable by that?”

“Yes,”

“I invite you to use me madam. I am a historian. I record things and some people will listen to it.”

“That's an interesting invitation Frederick. One that I would be cautious about repeating to other vampires.”

“I take it that being invited to use me means something else to vampires.”

“More than somewhat.” she smiled. “I will say some things but centuries of keeping ones thoughts to themselves is a difficult proposition.”

“You're going to tell me that it was a different time aren't you.”

“I am indeed.”

“People won't accept that.”

“I know, nevertheless it is the truth. Not only was it a different time but I was, and am, a different race from yours. This place was mine for centuries before your people even landed at the river. Your people were the invader's into my territory and I had to respond.”

“You see,” I said leaning forward. “You see how easy this is?”

“It is easy to forget how young you are Frederick.”

“I'm not that young.”

“I'm over 900 years old Frederick.”

“Ok. I am that young.”

She managed a smile. She was clearly putting a little more thought into her facial expressions today.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I wondered alive.

“It honestly hadn't occurred to me. Does it help?”

“Sometimes. Talking about things gets those same things out into the open in a way that nothing else does. From my perspective, you have spent somewhere between four to five hundred years in captivity. Your views are invaluable, what has changed in humanity since you've been away? Have we changed for the better? The worse? Are we what you expected? Does history change your deeds? That's leaving aside all the questions along the lines of what's it like to be a vampire? I've spent the last year travelling with a Witcher by the way so I know how stupid that last question is.”

She was silent for a while.

“Well lets start there then. Your every action is fascinating to me. For a start, that was a lot of questions in a short space of time.”

“It was,” I admitted. “But they are questions that occur and if I don't ask them then someone else will in relatively short order. I am vain enough as a scholar that I would want to have my findings published first.”

“I understand that urge at least,”

“But my subject is Kerrass and his wanderings. I am also, no longer convinced that I am an objective recorder in his regard.”

“You see there's a thing.” she leant forward. “You have a word in your language, “scientist”. It is an interesting word and of all the words that are applicable to me, that word is closest. I am a sorceress and I approached it in the manner of one of your Scientists. It is fascinating to me and has always been fascinating to me. So much of the force plus so much emotion plus so much shaping equals result. But there is also an art to it as well. You asked me on my views of humanity and that is not a simple question. So it follows that there is not a simple answer.”

“Will you start then?” I was right. She wanted to talk.

“Your people are so impatient. I thought about this quite a bit when I was imprisoned. You are also so incredibly young. I mean that as a species rather than you as an individual, but by contrast to the vampires or even the Elves, Dwarves or Gnomes that had already settled this continent when we arrived. Your advancement is...extraordinary.”

“What do you mean?” like most interview subjects, she was unused to this amount of speaking and as such needed to be prompted occasionally.

“We, the Vampiric species, came to this world with the Conjunction of Spheres and we settled here. I don't know why as I had not been born. The Gnomes and Dwarves were already here. The elves cannot be answered for as they hid from us in a manner that they are uniquely suited for. Vampires, especially vampires that are fully sentient and capable of independent thought are relatively rare... I apologise... Are you aware of the concept of Sentience?”

“I am, but only in the vaguest terms. It is an overriding term meaning self awareness, consciousness and self determination.”

“That is close to how I understand it as well. But Sentient vampires are relatively rare and we are not a numerous species to start with. I, and others put this down to our, in contrast to humanity, relatively long life-span. When we discovered humanity we were astonished. Our earliest records were of very primitive people that lived far to the north just south of the northern mountains. They wore furs and moved standing rocks into circles with no more technological advancement than weaving rope from animal sinew.”

“Yes, we called them the Dauk. We don't know much about them but there was another human civilisation to the north. We call that area “Kovir” now. We refer to them as the Wozgor. We don't know if one came before the other and if so in which order. We know that the Wozgor were relatively sophisticated due to their necropolis' and the Dauk operated in the same areas and in the same place. Both predate First Landing though.”

“I remember. It is...Interesting to me that you found something about those people that we had not realised. Something to think about.”

It's like she froze in place. Neither hair on her head or ripple in her clothing moved. She was a painting, a statue or some other, equally terrifying work of art. She had lost none of the beauty that she had first manifested when the illusion was first put in place. But now it was still.

It was three minutes later that she moved again.

“I wonder if it's your relatively short lifespan that fuels your desperation to move forward. To learn and create. The struggle against your own mortality. I must think on this.

“But to answer some of your questions. When your “first Landing” happened. My own Vampiric community had no idea what you were. You seemed similar in basic physiology to ourselves, four limbs, head torso and similar placement of vital organs, most specifically the heart. But your motivations were utterly alien to us. Your emotions, passions, whims and interests are strange. In some cases they are lesser aspects of our own thoughts and feelings whereas in other directions our passions would be terrifying to you.”

“For example?”

“For example? What humans refer to as Love is possibly the best example as well as the basis for a theory that I am developing even now. When we feel Love for another it is an all-consuming passion that sweeps us along, battering down sense and intelligence before the overwhelming desire to make the other person happy.

“My working theory is that although your technological advances in the years since I was put into imprisonment are astonishing. Your other areas of advancement are somewhat lacking. Specifically, here, what I'm talking about is your relatively underdeveloped language. Again my example is “Love”. In your language it refers to the animal passion that overcomes you, both male and female, to procreate. You do have the word Lust, but it seems that this is sometimes an uncouth word. Almost like blasphemy. There is also Love: the desire between to people to stay close to one another and bring the other comfort. The word refers to physical Love, that part of the act which is to do with pleasure for yourselves, or Love, giving pleasure to the other person involved. There is the Love of Parents, the Love of siblings, the Love of children. All of these things refer to different feelings, instincts and emotions and yet you use only one word to describe them all and from what I understand, you sometimes even manage to get them all confused with each other.

“It's like you have formulated the most basic language to do the bare minimum of what a language has to do and have then left it there.”

She stared into space for another long moment. It was a habit that I was finding increasingly disconcerting.

When she did eventually move and started speaking it made me jump.

“When your people first came to this part of the world... You called it “First Landing?”

I nodded,

“We didn't know what to make of you. It was some time before I even saw a human being and by that point I had already been well briefed by my fellows. As a whole we tend to be solitary creatures, intensely territorial in our efforts to not interfere with each others hunting grounds and so we live relatively far away from each other. We occasionally mingle for the sharing of news and gossip and you could do worse than imagine that clucking noise that chickens make when they get together. As a result I was well warned about your people when you did arrive.

“You were investigated after first landing and it was discovered that your flesh was a delicacy and that your blood provided an intoxicating effect that was entirely pleasant. Curiously it is also a poison, a non-lethal poison that is soon flushed out of our system. In that it is exactly like alcohol acting on a human.

“There was a meeting called just a little way south of here where the vampire clans gathered. We hadn't done so on such a scale since we had first arrived here and began spreading out and we discussed the new human problem and what we were going to do about it. Disasterously for human-vampire relations it was decided that you were what we called a “herd-race”.

“Before you get too offended let me explain what that means. Where we come from there are species that roam the wild and that are cultivated by us to provide the common vampire with food. This is again, virtually identical to the way you treat cows, sheep, goats and so forth. We bred them for flavour and for the various uses that their remains can be put to. Humans were categorised into a new form of this. We did not recognise you, you fit all the criteria for a herd-race being perceived to have a much lower intelligence than ourselves and it was granted that in the long term it would actually be beneficial to your species overall. The plan at the time was still that we were waiting things out until another gateway between worlds would open up and we could all go home.

“Some clans took the point-of view that what we should do with the humans was to put you all into cages and carefully breed you all towards the ultimate form of your species. That form being the best tasting varieties. Every measurement of your species growth and management would be taken out of your hands and that would be that. There was also some scientific interest in learning more about life from the humans that we had gathered.

“Another group theorised that the best way was a more traditional stand-point. We still had records from what we referred to as “The old world” which suggested that it was possible to “over-farm” herd species and as a result drive them into uselessness and extinction. This group suggested that humanity would make far better “prey” rather than “herd” and should to be left to their own devices. The argument that humanities blood and flesh were considered delicacies was used by both sides. Are you with me so far?”

I was writhing in discomfort. I cannot deny that I found myself drawing parallels between humanity and the vampires in the way we treated our foodstuffs and that made me uncomfortable. I was outraged that humans could have been treated in that way but then, we treat other animals in the same way so....

I nodded at her.

“I found that I didn't really care that much. Humanity hadn't made it as far as my territory and as such, I didn't consider them to be my problem. We all went our separate ways and that was that. We

were surprised and curious that we found that humans could communicate with each other.”

“Why didn't you react in the same way to the elves or other races?” I asked. I found myself

desperately wanting to distract her onto another topic.

“Have you tried finding an elf when they don't want to be found? Elven magic was still very powerful and wide spread back then. That use of magic proved their intelligence to us and so we left them alone. The industry of the dwarves and gnomes proved their intelligence, they lived underground and they had obviously been here before us. Courtesy meant that we stayed away from them. It may sound strange to your ears but there it was. Humans landed in our territory. Therefore they were the invaders. Our sentiments were that you should be grateful that we didn't scour you from the face of the continent at the time.

“But I digress,

“When we found out that you could communicate it was suggested that there was a possibility of intelligence and therefore sentience in humanity. Some of us studied you in microscopic detail. That is where a lot of the horror stories come from of vampires dissecting and torturing humans in an effort to discover what “fear,” “terror,” and “a soul” was. If those self same humans had been able to communicate on our level we would have realised that mistake but it's important to remember that humanity was viewed as a lesser species.

“Some decided that it was further evidence that you should be left alone as a prey species. This might sound kinder from your point of view but these were the same creatures that hunted your people down for sport and their own entertainment.

“I took a macroscopic approach. I was already a sorceress and scientist and as such I thought that I would see what happens to humans and what progress they could make in a controlled environment. A feudal system is often best for these things. I positioned myself as a powerful Lord, possessor of magical powers and Godhood that were beyond their understanding and set up the nation of Angraal.

“At first I was pleased with the progress that my test subjects made. They developed communities, they enjoyed the rites that they performed in my worship”

I raised my eyebrows at that,

“I was a relatively caring Goddess,” the vampire allowed herself a wicked smile. “Melitele had reached the settlers by that point and as such “me” worship soon died out. I was very pleased to be honest as it displayed decision making processes as to moral systems.”

She stopped talking for a while. I associated this one more with her being lost in memory. I realised that Kerrass had walked up at this stage.

“What I didn't understand at the time was two factors. The first is that humanity, even in their relatively simple stage of progression in social and physical sciences has an intrinsic desire to self-govern but to be against the pre-established order of things, natural or otherwise. The other problem was that I hadn't realised that children eventually need their parents to die so that they can grow up. Humans live in communities which is one of the major differences between vampires and humans. We live solitary lives, so as soon as we are old enough. We leave our parents to wander the world and establish ourselves. It's done so that both parties can survive. Humans tend to stay in the same place. Travel is rare for humans but I was still here, 70-80 years after their arrival. A blink of time for me but a couple of generations for humans. Looking back, I now realise that this inspired fear and anger. To me, the experiment had only just started when my subjects rose up against me. I reacted... harshly. I can only explain that you might react exactly the same if the sheep rose up against you declaring that they it's barbaric that you wear their skin as clothing.”

I shifted uncomfortably again although I could hear Kerrass laughing.

“From your perspective I did horrible things. From my perspective I was doing what I thought was best for the humans that lived here. Again what if those sheep decided that they didn't like eating grass anymore.”

Kerrass kept chuckling and I glared at him.

“Can I make a new request?” she asked.

“You can certainly make it,” I said,

“I need to know more about how your world works now. I find it fascinating now that I have to live in it and my imagination is quite fired up. You explained the politics and now I must know what it's like to live in it. Will the two of you talk to me as we do so?”

Kerrass and I did our “trading glances” trick again. He shrugged.

“Of course.”

“Then we will begin tomorrow,” she said.

“You need a name.” I said. “We can't talk to you if you don't want to be referred to as “Your Majesty” all the time.”

She nodded. “Does “Spider Queen” make you uncomfortable?”

“More than a little. Plus, to us it's a title, not a name,”

“That is valid. What would you name me then?”

“Don't look at me,” said Kerrass. I'm a Witcher, not a poet.

“Does it need a poet?”

Kerrass nodded, “or a priest.”

“We have neither. Let me think.” I felt my brain turn over in that way it sometimes does. Like in an exam where you can't remember something but then, unbidden. The answer comes to the fore-front of your mind.

“How about 'Ariadne'?”

I looked at Kerrass. “Sounds Good,”

We both looked at her.

She was smiling.

“It is fitting,” she said.