Chapter 30 - Tweeting Villains
It was a disaster.
The rest of the trip was a 1-minute dash to the gate of the village. The guards posted earlier were gone, which the group took as the opportunity to excuse themselves and go back inside the village.
The door to the shed by the Drunken Chef Inn - the wagon's last known location - was ajar.
"I'll go find my dad!" Allie ran off to the inn.
"Please do!" Alistair rushed inside the shed, horrified at the sight inside.
The wagon had been dismantled. The wheels were missing, the front seat was smashed to bits, and the back portion was now exposed to the elements. "No, no, no," Alistair said as he checked the exposed area. "My wagon..." Alistair sank to the ground.
Lenoria stood behind him, patting him on the back. "It's okay, Alistair. We'll get a new one!"
"You don't understand. This was a gift from Lady Gabrielle." He punched the ground, sending some of the hay flying outwards. "It...means a lot to me."
Gabrielle must have bought him the wagon before she left Helix City, Lenoria thought. Kneeling next to him, Lenoria placed her arm around him to pull him closer until his head was resting on her.
"Then we'll find whoever did this." The shed was suddenly illuminated by light. Lenoria glanced back outside, and noticed a crowd gathered with torches. "Though I have a feeling they've come to find us."
With righteous fury, Alistair stood back up and drew his mace back out. "We'll sort this out first." He was the first back outside and was met by a gaggle of villagers with torches and pitchforks.
And Spark and Chet were leading them. "There he is!"
"What is the meaning of this?! I demand an explanation!"
"You're in no position to make demands, boy!" Pointing at his head injury, still caked in blood, Spark made sure everyone in the crowd could see it. "Go on, kid! Tell them how you were so weak that you had to sneak up on me!"
"You threatened to attack us first! I have witnesses!"
A random villager piped up. "What, your harem?" One after the other, the villagers broke into laughter.
"Damn it. If only Miss Aquamarine was here..." Alistair knew he had an uphill battle from here on out. All the villagers saw was two men dressed as paladins of the Hammer arguing with each other, and Alistair had the misfortune not to reach the village first.
"All I remember was getting mugged after you struck me," Spark lied. "And since you helped yourself to my belongings, I thought it was fair to have the villagers here do the same to you after I found out what rooms you and your girls were staying in!"
"It's only right," said another villager.
"You done messed with the Blue Jay, boy! They punish criminals and fakers like you," said another. "If they say someone is bad, then we don't have to listen to the other side of the story!"
"Our rooms?" Alistair peered at the crowd, placing his hand over his forehead to block the light from the torches. From among them, he noticed a girl wearing a blue scarf grinning at him as she twirled a set of lockpicks with her finger. "You!"
Alistair took a step closer but was quick to block a weak punch from Spark.
"Leave my girlfriend out of this, kid!"
"Spark said he was a woman beater," one villager said.
"Let's get him and show him how it feels to be beaten for once!" The villagers all clamored amongst themselves and marched forward to do the deed. But that was when Lenoria had enough. She ran outside to stand between Alistair and the angry mob.
"The hell's the matter with all of you?" She pointed angrily at Spark. "Can't you see that he's lying to you?!"
Chet wasted no time drawing his lute out, but a swipe from a sneaky Tsukuyomi was enough to snatch it and crush it with a tight grip.
"Don't even think about it," Clara warned him.
"Don't listen to them!" Spark urged the crowd. "He must have hypnotized these girls or something! Or worse, they schemed to pretend to rescue the innkeep's little girl, only to deliver the news that she's dead so they could run away with the consolation money!"
"Sounds like you're projecting," Clara said.
"Shut it, elf," said a villager. "We don't mind hurting you if that's what it takes to save you!"
"You realize we can all think rationally here, right? Alistair is a paladin." Clara pointed at Chet. "Not some low-rate bard that likes to hypnotize people!"
"Hey!" Chet raised a fist to hit Clara, but he flinched at the sound of gunfire. His hat fell to the ground, and it now had a burned bullet hole at the center.
"Leave. Them. Alone." Lewis the innkeeper reloaded his musket after Allie tossed him an alchemical cartridge. "Or the next shot will be right between your cheeks!"
"You mean my face, right?"
But Lewis only growled at him, which was all it took for the bard to stand down.
The villagers began to murmur amongst themselves. "Hey, isn't that Lewis's little girl?"
"But the Blue Jays said these kids left her for dead at the cave because they're too weak to fight the giant."
A curmudgeonly old man waved his cane at the crowd. "She's obviously an impostor! The Blue Jays never lied before!"
"You have a rash on your back that you always show me, Old Man George. No matter how many times I said no, you always make time to do so," Allie calmly, yet disgusted, told him.
"It is her!"
Spark and his goons were surprised to see Allie. "W-we didn't lie! We genuinely thought they left her for dead!" He seethed. "Then that means...they're really that strong?"
All eyes were on Alistair, who chose to capitalize on this moment. "Citizens of Hammer's Reach, you need not fear anymore. The Laester tribe, as the giants called themselves, is no more. My party here, along with the aid of Melodious Aquamarine, prevailed in our battle against them."
"The heroine of the seas?"
"The one and the same." Alistair then pointed at Spark. "These people, on the other hand, were more than happy to abandon one of their own in order to get here first and spread these lies about us! Their plan was to kill us and to cut off Allie's hands in order to free her from her bindings, but we wouldn't let them and ran the moment the giant approached. I'm sure the guards will recognize at least one of these people as one half of the pair that got arrested for robbing the inn last night. Allie and her father can attest to these claims."
"It's true, all of it." Lewis pointed at the guards accusingly. "I don't get why you idiots even set a bond for him. I always said that if freedom has a price, then it is only the poor who suffer."
"Miss Aquamarine found an interesting letter on the corpse of their friend. She's on her way now to report the Church back in Helix, and I would keep an eye out for any word from the Church."
"That's a lie," Spark roared. "That letter does not contain plans about the Order's movements, and doesn't mention anything about dark shrines!"
"I never said the envelope contained details about dark shrines and the cult's movements," Alistair corrected. "But I was about to get to it. How did you know that, exactly, Mr. Spark?"
The villagers now surrounded the three remaining members of the Blue Jay. Spark reached for his polearm, but the hilt was caught by a random pitchfork and it was tossed aside.
But unfortunately for Alistair, Spark was the leader of his group for a reason. He worked best when his team was in danger.
"Fine! I admit we may have blown things out of proportion." He then pointed at Alistair. "But what about you? You said the giants were your responsibility, right? You said the whole family stopped your little group on your way here, remember? Now, why in the world would you feel responsible about taking out the mom giant?"
The crowd once again began to murmur amongst themselves. Alistair had no rebuttal, and neither did Lenoria or Clara.
"Admit it. If you hadn't run into them, mom giant wouldn't have even come here in the first place to kill the gate guards."
That's when it dawned on everyone what Spark was trying to do. And there was nothing Alistair could do except admit to the truth. Not even Lewis could step in to defend the trio.
"I'll take your silence as your admission," Spark said smugly.
"If these kids hadn't come here, we wouldn't have to bury our guards."
"And sweet Allie wouldn't have gotten kidnapped," said the old man from earlier.
"If they stay here, who knows how they could ruin our village!"
"It would be best if you left now, kid," Spark grinned again.
"That's enough, all of you." Lewis stood next to Lenoria. "These kids just saved my little girl's life, and I'll be damned if any of you kicked them out."
"Get out of our way, Lewis! These kids are a menace!"
"And I'm the one who pours all of your beers at the end of each work day, so pipe down!" Lewis raised a hand. "I propose a compromise. These kids will leave, but they shall do so when they're good and ready!" He aimed his musket at Spark. "But if you want to make use of your torches and pitchforks, I recommend kicking these clowns out, as well. The sooner, the better."
"We just exposed the truth about these kids, and this is the thanks we get?" Spark's fury quickly subsided when the barrel of the musket was pressed against his face.
"I had enough of your group since last night. If you don't leave now, I propose we turn this angry mob into a lynch mob. Your choice, punk! I can round up some of my army friends and make sure none of your bodies are found by your order."
Alistair may be immune to fear, but even he flinched from Lewis's threat. Spark, now afraid, turned to the rest of the mob. "What are you doing? Get this murder sympathizer, too!"
But the mob disagreed.
"That Lewis kicks ass when he's angry."
"I heard he killed three people with one arrow before he fired it."
"He cooks a mean iguanodon, too."
"And he pours our beer! Don't forget the beer!"
The villagers all nodded in agreement at the last point before turning their attention to Spark and his crew.
"This isn't over!" Spark snapped his fingers and pointed towards the village gate. "Not by a longshot!"
Spark and his friends finally left the area, and soon enough the crowd dispersed, villager by villager, until Lewis, Allie, and Lenoria's crew were the only ones left.
Lewis lowered his musket once Spark was out of his sight. "I couldn't stop them from raiding your rooms. If you hadn't brought my little girl back, I admit I would have been in that mob, too."
"So, they took all of our belongings?" Clara asked.
"Not all of them." Lenoria placed her bag of holding on the ground and opened it up. "That scarf girl was giving us a weird look, so as a precaution I went to both rooms and stuffed as much of our stuff as I could in my bag here before I met back with you."
"My backpack!" Clara grabbed her backpack from the bag of holding and rummaged through it. "All of my stuff is here!"
"Mine, too!" Alistair then raised an eyebrow. "Um, you even grabbed my clean underwear."
Lenoria pinched Alistair's cheek. "You're welcome!"
He quickly brushed Lenoria away. "Looks like all of our money and stuff is still here, but we still lost the wagon."
Lenoria was quick to grab a screwdriver from her belt. "What if I told you I can fix it?"
"You'd do that?"
"Depends." Lenoria looked over at Lewis. "How are we for tonight?"
"Your man here already paid for tonight's stay, but I recommend skedaddling sometime tomorrow morning. I doubt these people will let you stay longer than that."
"That's all the time I need." Lenoria grinned. "I'll definitely have your wagon up and running, Alistair. Rest easy."
"Looks like you kids had a long day. I'll set your rooms back up and Allie will cook your dinner." Lewis went back to the inn.
"I'll help you, sir. I like my bed set up in a specific way." Clara winked at Lenoria before going back to the inn with Allie and Lewis.
Once again, Alistair was left alone with Lenoria, the latter who already ran back inside the shed and started taking measurements of the wagon.
"Hey, Al, mind running back to the inn and pay for some wheels? I'm sure Lewis has some." When Alistair didn't say a word, Lenoria turned to look at him. "Al?"
"Oh, sorry. It's just...I don't know what to say, or even how to thank you."
"No thanks needed, Al. All I did during that last fight was fire my pistol, but it was your strength that finished off the giant. My talents are better spent in creating and fixing things, anyway." Lenoria pocketed her measuring string away. "Besides, I admit my heart broke, too. Not by what those people did to the wagon, but by your reaction to it."
"You don't have to go through such lengths. You must be tired."
"I am, but the excitement I have now will keep me awake until the job's done. If anything, you worked harder than any of us. You must be tired, too."
"Yeah, I feel sore all over. I'll call you when dinner's ready." Alistair stretched and reached for the door. He looked at Lenoria, hard at work, and smiled. "On the other hand, it makes no difference if I rest here, does it?"
Lenoria giggled. "Won't you get bored?"
Alistair sat down, leaning against the wall. "We could always chat. I did say we should get to know each other more. I'll let you start."
"Really? You want to hear about my boring life?"
"Based on what I experienced so far, I doubt your life lacks excitement."
That must have been why Clara winked, Lenoria thought. She could work and talk at the same time, and she was happy to see Alistair had the same idea. "Well, I was born at the Great Plateau. Dad would always say he used to be a samurai, and..."
***
Meanwhile, somewhere outside the village, Spark and his two other members schemed as they rested in a denser part of Cedar Forest.
"Outsmarted by a bunch of brats..."
"Hate to say it, boss," Chet said, "but maybe we should have waited until we could confirm the innkeep's kid was dead before we made our move."
"How was I supposed to know they were that strong? None of us could face that giant!"
"Well, they did tell us over and over that they got rid of the dad."
"Really? That's the first time I'm hearing this." Spark punched a nearby tree. "No kid is that strong! I understand if it were the Constable or the Heroine of Thule, but them? Gah! Not only did we miss our chance to cash in on that fat bounty, but now we'll be the laughingstock of the Order!"
"Relax, Sparky." The girl in the blue scarf calmly leaned against a tree. "Aquamarine got away and there's nothing we can do about it. We can expect punishment if we return to the Order empty-handed."
"If we return now, maybe the big boss will be lenient," Chet said.
"I have a better idea. Let's wait here and kill whoever the Church sends this way."
Spark snapped out of his tantrum when he heard that. "Hold on, Valerie. Even you should know how bad of an idea that is."
"You think our great leader is going to let this slide? Our movements have been compromised, but maybe we can scare the Church into silence if we stop any delivery boy that comes here on their behalf."
"You have a point. We can still salvage this mission." Spark sighed. "I knew I liked you for a reason, Val. You have a good head on your shoulders, not like the fat cow I have waiting for me at home."
Valerie laughed. "When are you going to dump her, anyway? I've already shown you how better I am than her at absolutely everything."
"Are you kidding? I didn't isolate her from all of her family and friends just to dump her without thinking. She has to realize I'm the only thing that's important in her life. That way, I could be gone for years and she'd still feel relieved when I return home. Who knows, maybe she'll get so lonely that she'll be open to absolutely anything to keep me home. If, no, when that happens, you can move in with us."
Valerie rolled her eyes. "Fine. It's not like I have a house to return to. But none of us will have a place to return to at all if we stand here and do nothing. Let's get to work."
"I still think we should just go now, tell the big boss, and take whatever punishment waiting for us and get it over with," Chet said.
"Chet," Spark said, "you remember the Order's motto, right?"
The bard sighed. "'We tweet and tweet, without accountability.'"
"Good man. Let's set up camp for tonight. Tomorrow's another day."