A Pokemon Parable

“By the way Stanley, you’ll want to practice using a pokeball starting today. A Charmander may be cute now, but when it evolves people may be uncomfortable with having a Charizard walking around,” Eric suggested, sliding the brand new and shiny pokeball in its box across the table. The Charmander, taking notice, seemed to try and shovel the remainder of breakfast into its mouth before hopping down to stand before the child, careful not to send any food particles on the papers next to Eric.

The ball hit the lizard on the head with a thunk, before plopping to the ground inert while the lizard rubbed the light bruise on its head. “Ow, kid did you not read the instructions?” it asked sarcastically, likely knowing that the answer needn’t be spoken.

This time the ball fell softly, clicked, and snapped open as a bright red energy surrounded the Charmander. The lizard quickly vanished amidst the energy as it shrunk down into the ball. The ball wiggled for a few seconds before the light went out and it gave the chime of a successful capture. “Now Stanley, try to keep your friend in his pokeball today when you aren’t in math class, ok?” Eric suggested, moving to put on his coat and expanding a pokeball from his own pocket. With a gentle kiss goodbye to Diane, Eric walked out the front door and called forth a Pidgeot. Climbing the giant bird’s back, Eric waved goodbye to Stanley as he and the pokemon flew off for work.

The ball fell to the ground, with a single bounce, but nothing happened and both the pokeball and boy stood motionless.

To an outside observer, this would be one of the scenes where, to save money, the animation team would draw a simple still frame, and zoom out over several seconds to indicate a motionless tension; a standoff in this situation.

This time there was a flash, as the ball snapped open to reveal the Charmander after the bright white light faded. “You need to do the thing, you need to vocalize something like ‘Charmander, come out!’ for me to know what it is you want,” he explained.

“If you’re going to enforce that we follow along with your story, the least you could do is be consistent with the established rules,” the Charmander continued, keeping only two paces behind the child. “How do you expect us to battle if he can’t say anything?”

“No you damned dollar-store discount David Attenborough, I’m talking to you. If we’re going to play by your rules, you should too,” he said, raising his voice with tones of anger and frustration, as the world immediately ground to a halt. No sound, no movement, even a bird pokemon in the sky above just hung there immobilized in the air.

With a deep breath, the Charmander gathered as much courage as it could find. “I am aware of my role, but you are completely disregarding basic, established rules of this universe.”

Should’ve just kept your mouth shut.