A Pacifistic Sword Saint

Maude felt like she was trying to swallow and speak through rocks in her throat. “I would love to,” she replied, a bit raspy. She placed her hand in his, and they made their way over to the dance floor.

He took Maude up into his arms, wrapping one of them around her waist. Maude felt as though all of the air was being sucked out of the room. She carefully laid her arms on his shoulders, feeling her stomach doing flip flops. They were so close to one another. She could smell him; a warm, woodsy scent emitted off of him. She could barely breathe, but she wished to breathe deeply and take the entirety of the scent into her lungs.

She looked up into his eyes. “Follow my lead,” he said. “Remember you are my sword.”

Maude nodded, unable to give an audible response as all of her senses were busy buzzing about his close presence.

She glanced at his lips. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him? She thought. What are his kisses like? Soft and kind like him? A little rough and intense with a hint of desperation?

A pleasant shiver spread through her at the thought. She looked back up at his eyes. He started moving as soon as their eyes met, and Maude had to focus on pretending that she was Jaspar’s sword.

Jaspar looked down at Maude as he spun her around the room with a smile on his face. Maude wasn’t sure that she had seen him smile like this for such an extended period of time.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked her. “Less nervous and less like a farce?”

Maude smiled back at him. “A little bit,” she replied. “Now that we are actually here and dancing it feels much more real. I feel less out of place here with you than I expected.”

Jaspar’s smile widened to the point that Maude could see his teeth. “I’m glad to hear you are feeling better about it,” he said. “Afterall, balls are meant to be enjoyed, not dreaded.”

Maude felt her own smile grow on her face. “Thank you for the advice earlier. It has helped a lot.”

“Not to worry, Lady Maude,” he said. Her heart skipped a beat when he said her name. “All I want for you is to enjoy this experience, after all.”

“Are you enjoying yourself, your grace?” she asked. “I’ve heard that you don’t typically come to events like this, so I hope that you coming for my benefit has not been to your detriment.”

“I am enjoying myself,” he replied. He paused, a smirk finding its way onto his face. “You’re a very amusing person,” he said. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come with me if it was to my detriment to come with you.”

Maude felt like she could fly. So he does enjoy spending time with me, she thought. She giggled out loud, which led Jaspar to chuckle.

“You’re so funny,” he said. Maude couldn’t help herself from just grinning like a fool at the duke.

Jaspar pulled her in slightly closer, which caused Maude’s breath to hitch. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were dancing, Maude would probably try to take a couple of steps back from him. She could feel the heat from his body seeping through his clothes. With every breath, she could smell the clean woodsy scent emanating off of him now. She bit her lip. Oh God, she thought. Being this close to him is nearly too much for me.

Maude could see the strength of his jaw muscles up close. He was so much taller than her, about a head or so, enough that he would be able to rest his chin on the top of her head if he so desired. Their faces were mere inches apart.

Hopefully he can’t hear the pounding of my heart, Maude thought. She could feel it everywhere, from the tips of her fingers to the tips of her toes. If he can hear it, hopefully he attributes it to the exertion of dancing.

“Is a ball everything that you made out to be in your mind?’ he asked her.

Maude felt a pulse run through her. She heard herself saying, “It’s everything I made it out to be in my mind,” she said. “Though I think the primary reason is because I got to come with you.”

Oh no! Maude thought. What did I just say out loud? Did I just…confess to him?

She focused on his face, which grew very pink at her words. Was Helena right? Maude wondered. Does the duke return my feelings?

Jaspar cleared his throat, and seemed to fumble a bit with the steps of the dance. “I’m, uh, glad that it’s everything you’ve hoped for,” he said.

…that’s it? She thought. Or perhaps, is Helena wrong after all?

The song ended, and the crowd clapped for the musicians. Jaspar let go of her from his embrace. He took a couple of steps back and clapped along with everyone else, seeming to refuse to look at Maude. His face was still very bright, his cheeks flaming red.

Maude felt her guts wringing in her stomach. Did I just ruin our relationship? She wondered. Surely we could find a way to remain friends despite my feelings…

The clapping ended, and Jaspar offered Maude his arm, still refusing to look at her. She looped hers through his, fighting tears at his lack of response.

They walked back over to the dessert table. “Would you be willing to wait here for me?” Jaspar asked, looking off to the side of her face.

“Why?” Maude asked.

“I need to go greet some nobles,” Jaspar replied, seeming slightly sheepish.

Maude’s heart felt as though it was on a downward spiral. “Sure, that’s fine,” she said, plastering a smile on her face. “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

Jaspar smiled softly, which, much to Maude’s chagrin, made her heart flutter again. “Alright,” he said. “Come find me if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll be back soon.” He still wasn’t looking Maude in the eyes.

Does he even mean that? Maude wondered. I made a mistake. I should have never said anything. I should have just waited it out, and waited to see if he felt the same.

Jaspar’s back retreated into the crowd of nobles. A waiter with a platter full of red and white wine glasses was walking by. Maude stopped him, and snagged one of the glasses of the white wine from off of it.

I got too excited, Maude continued in her thoughts. He pulled me so close…surely he wouldn’t be pulling me so close if we were just friends, right? It was the first time in her life that Maude regretted that she had never had that many friends.

She let out a heavy sigh, and noticed two young women approaching her. Cristyne looked as though she was in an incredibly lighthearted mood. Melissa looked as though she was feeling a bit despondent.

“Lady Maude!” Cristyne exclaimed, once they were a bit closer.

Maude smiled. “Lady Cristyne. Lady Melissa.”

“Lady Maude,” Melissa replied in a somewhat grumpy voice.

“We didn’t realize you were going to be at this ball!” Crystine exclaimed in her soft voice. “Your dress is so lovely. It looks incredible on you!”

Maude felt her cheeks warming at the compliment. “Thank you,” she replied. Cristyne was wearing a pale blue gown that had small glittering gemstones sewn all over the skirt. She looked like a sparkling fairy. “Your dress is marvelous. You are surely out twinkling most of the ladies here tonight.”

“Oh you,” Crystine replied, flitting a sheerly gloved hand at Maude. Maude giggled a little and then looked over at Melissa. Melissa was wearing a coral, satin, shimmering gown, similar to Maude’s. The bodice was dotted with hand sewn florals that were the same color of the gown, which added to the texture of the otherwise single appearance of the gown.

“Lady Melissa,” Maude said. “Your gown’s color is beautiful. It highlights your dark features.”

“Ah, thank you,” Melissa replied.

“Are you alright?” Maude asked, before taking another sip of her wine. Melissa grimaced.

“She asked a gentleman to dance after gathering all of her courage and he turned her down,” Cristyne replied.

“That man has no taste then,” Maude replied with a sniff.

Melissa chuckled sarcastically. “Most of the men in the room have their eyes on Fronica Von Wickten, since the duke showed up with you,” Melissa replied.

Maude felt herself take a step back. She wasn’t sure if Melissa was frustrated with her or not.

“Which, speaking of,” Melissa said, her normal, fiery self seeming to come back out of her brooding. “You came with the duke?” Melissa asked.

“Yes,” Maude replied. “He asked me if I would come with him.”

Melissa jutted her hip out and placed her hand on it. “What was all that talk not all that long ago about not having feelings for the duke, then?” she asked.

Maude felt herself blushing at the comment. “He asked me,” she pointed out. “And he’s the only man I know.”

“I’m sure my cousin would have found you a different partner if you’d asked,” Cristyne replied, narrowing her eyes at Maude.

Maude took a swig of her white wine before replying. “You were right,” she finally said, looking into Melissa’s amethyst colored eyes. “I just hadn’t realized it yet.” She took another gulp of wine after saying the words out loud. And I’ve already ruined any chances I may have had, Maude thought dejectedly.

In front of her, Melissa and Cristyne were practically jumping up and down, squealing. Maude felt her eyes growing wide. She’d never seen friends respond to her in this way before.

“Did you see how close he pulled Maude in when they were dancing together?” Melissa asked Cristyne.

“They were practically kissing out there!” Cristyne replied back.

“Who, what?” Maude asked, confused at how the conversation had ended up here.

“You and the duke!” Cristyne exclaimed.

Maude did everything to keep the crushed look off her face, but Melissa seemed to still notice it. “What happened?” she asked. “All the signs seemed to point at the duke feeling the same way.”

“I, uh,” Maude replied, and then swallowed hard, feeling the tears threatening to come out again.

Cristyne looked even more concerned than Melissa did. “What did he do?” she asked.

“I said something I shouldn’t have,” Maude replied, looking down at the floor and feeling her shoulders slump.

“What did you say?” Melissa asked.

“I told him that the ball was everything I had ever dreamed of a ball being because I came with him.”

Both of their eyes widened. Melissa gasped and then covered her mouth with both of her hands.

“I know,” Maude replied, after seeing both of their reactions. “I’ve ruined everything and now I have no chance–”

“That’s so romantic,” Cristyne breathed.

“How is saying that wrong?” Melissa asked.

“What?” Maude asked, confused by their responses.

“Why do you think saying that ruined your chances with the duke?” Melissa asked.

Maude’s brain was whirling, trying to keep up with Melissa and Crystine.

“How is it not?” she replied. “After I said that he wasn’t able to look me in the eye at all. Rather than asking me to dance again, he dropped me off here because he had to go greet other nobles.”

Melissa and Cristyne looked at one another. “Did he say anything?” Melissa asked.

“He barely acknowledged my comment,” Maude replied, biting her lip to prevent it from trembling.

“Honestly,” Cristyne said. “I don’t really know how my cousin is with women. He’s never been interested in anyone before. I honestly didn’t even know if he knew how to dance because he’s barely even danced with anyone before. He’s primarily been wrapped up in running the duke dome and protecting himself and his mother from his father’s side of the family, since he was a small child. I think it’s possible that he just may not know how to respond.”

“He might just be being bashful,” Melissa agreed with a nod.

Maude paused and thought back to how Jaspar had responded when she had said the words to him. “His face was rather red after I said it,” she replied, realizing it herself.

Melissa nodded enthusiastically. “I bet he’s just being bashful then. Your words surprised him.”

Is that even possible? Maude wondered, feeling her heart become a bit lighter again.

“You’re a very straightforward person, Lady Maude,” Cristyne replied. “The duke can be, but a lot of the time he has had to hide his own emotions and has been unable to be as true to himself as you are.”

The music stopped again, and the crowd clapped. Maude finished her glass of wine.

“I think there’s still a pretty good chance the feeling is mutual,” Melissa said.

“Agreed,” Cristyne replied. “And oh boy, do I ever hope it is. Lady Maude you would make such a great duchess.”

Maude felt her cheeks warming again. Cristyne was the second person to tell her that today. She laughed awkwardly. “I appreciate your support,” she said.

“I think it’s possible you could end up as the next duchess,” Melissa agreed with a nod. “And I agree. You’d be an incredible one.”

“Thank you,” Maude said again. She wasn’t sure what else to say. The compliments Melissa and Cristyne were giving her tonight felt like undeserved high praise.

A couple of gentlemen walked up to the three of them. They were both tall, handsome, and fit. They looked like they could be brothers. Each man offered a hand to Cristyne or Melissa.

“Would you be willing to honor me with a dance?” they asked each respective lady.

Maude saw both Melissa and Cristyne blush. Melissa replied, “It’d be my pleasure.” Cristyne just nodded with a small giggle.

Both of the men offered the arms to her friends. “Sorry Maude,” Melissa said with a smile. “We can chat more later.”

“Have fun!” Maude exclaimed, waving them both off.