NOVEL WEB Chapter 1: GOODBYE!
The chime for lunch, that was the signal to start the bullying. Saeki came to push me around today as well.
“Yo, Hidaka go buy me some juice.”
Reddish hair, cross piece earrings, and a button up shirt open at the neck. That’s Saeki.
“Hey, while you’re at it get some for me too Hidaka.”
This, is Kida, Saeki’s lackie. He doesn’t have any piercings but he has an uncultured appearance similar to Saeki with orange dyed hair and a long neckline.
Around this time every day these two use me for their own convenience.
“Sure, is it alright if it’s carbonated?”
What am I saying, ‘is it alright if it’s carbonated.” I ask myself why I’m being considerate of how they feel. Saying something like that is testimony to the fact that slavery has become ingrained into me. However, this is all just idle complaints, I don’t actually say any of this out loud.
This is my every day.
Since the day I entered highschool, up until now, two years later, I’ve been their slave. My pride won’t allow me to admit that I’m being bullied so, I act as though we are friends.
I make excuses claiming that I’m not being forced. However, I can’t lie to myself. Others in the class should have realized that I’m being bullied.
Days pass by without meaning.
“Saeki, are you bullying Hidaka again? You’re a highschool student, isn’t it embarrassing to be pushing someone around like that?”
She’s the class representative Kawachi.She has a strong sense of Justice. Her black hair was gathered into a bun behind her head and her eyes, gleaming with the light of Justice peaked out from behind red rimmed glasses. She had the appearance of a hypocrite.
“What are you talking about? He’s just going to buy some juice for us? Hey Hidaka, we’re friends right?”
Saeki is quite crafty, while frivolous he’s capable of studying. What this means is he only hits your stomach, even if he’s angry he won’t hit you in the face. When buying the juice, you must pay for it yourself.
“Yeah you’re just misunderstanding, we’re really close friends.” Kida chimed in.
You never thought of me as a friend even once. Of course it’s the same for Saeki but Kida is truly an idiot. It’s the natural conclusion, Kids simply goes along with whatever Saeki does, he wouldn’t think to bully me on his own.
There is nothing as bad as the subconscious.
“Hidaka don’t stay quiet, if they are bullying you speak up. If you don’t neither I nor the teachers can help you.”
The hypocrite, in search of favor attempts to come to my rescue.
“They’re not bullying me.”
With a bitter smile Kawachi let out a loud sigh at my words.
“Hidaka, is everything really ok?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”
I left the classroom leaving behind those words. I could hear Saeki’s ridiculous laughter from the corridor, followed behind be Kita own stupid laugh. What’s so fun about putting down another human? No, the point is they find it fun…. The bullying won’t stop.
Perpetrator, victim, spectator, bystander.
In other words, when it comes to bullying there is no uninvolved party. Each one works together and as a result, I am bullied. At least, that’s what I want to say but the reality is different.
It’s ok if it’s fun, it’s ok as long as you can look down on others. That’s why I’m not in front of the vending machine right now. Instead I came to the roof.
Most schools restrict roof access but the one I attend does not. Almost as if saying, ‘if life gets difficult feel free to jump at anytime.’
I probably shouldn’t say things like that. I must be really weird or, maybe I’m just crazy.
“I’m not the one who’s crazy, it’s this world that’s crazy.”
Even if I say that, it changes nothing.
I can see the sky through the fence. Climbing to the other side I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. Inside the fence were various students eating lunch and talking with their friends.
“Hey, look! Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Shouldn’t we call a teacher?”
That’s right, I’m about to kill myself after all. It got noisy as they rushed from the roof. I wonder what drives them, after all it’s the life of just one person. Even if you bring a teacher, I’ll be free before they arrive.
The sky is always a beautiful gray color, the ground and asphalt too, always the same color. Just for today, I wanted it all to be a different color.
“You understand right. Why I’m I’m going to jump.”
Even though they can’t hear me, I asked the question. But it’s too late, It would have been better to do it earlier. A lot earlier.
“Well, goodbye everyone.”
Leaning forward, I jumped and fell upside down. It’s not that I wanted to die. I just didn’t want to live. You probably wouldn’t understand the difference.
I’m falling now, soon I’ll disappear. It will beas tho I never even existed. I could see the roof as I fell my back towards the ground. It felt as though my consciousness was slipping away.
At that time a bright light appeared. It filled up my vision blinding me. I became unable to think. The last thing I saw was a world full of white. Today, my life ended.
Hidaka Masamune is dead.