A Murder Wizards Adventure

My first thought is that I should apologise to my nose.

My second though is 'what the fuck does that even mean?'

And my final thought before I really wake up is 'Owwwwww'

Why does everything hurt.

I feel like my brain has been hit with a hammer directly and breathing hurts.

Opening my eyes, I look around and find that I'm in a small-ish room with four beds.

I'm the only one using any of them, so I'm alone.

Ok, so, this looks like a hospital.

What's the last thing I remember?

We were doing a patrol, my team and team Horse.

There were enemy nin, Suna-nin.

Then...

Me and Goat were watching the fight.

And I decided to help end it quicker.

Now the memory gets really fuzzy.

I remember rushing behind one of the Suna-nin.

Then, black.

I don't know what happened then.

I remember feeling pain, so I'd wager I got hit, 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥.

I guess hard enough to put me in the hospital.

Looking around again, I briefly wonder how they're supposed to know I'm awake.

I assume the others brought me back to the base, so I flare my chakra repeatedly to hopefully get some attention.

There 𝘪𝘴 a code language for chakra flares, but since, unlike hands, it's so limited in what you can do, the codes are basically limited to 'I'm an ally', 'Enemy', 'Over here' and a few other simple things. I used the latter and after a minute or two more, a Medic-nin finally shows up, escorted by Goat and Hound.

The Medic-nin doesn't waste any time approaching me, and it's only when he does do I think to check that, yes, I 𝘢𝘮 still wearing my mask.

"Hello, ANBU-san, it's good to see you awake, will you tell me how you're feeling?"

I decide to be honest, you shouldn't lie to Medics after all.

"hurt, brain feels dry, and breathing too deeply hurts, other than that though."

I end my sentence with a shrug, only to wince slightly as the movement pulls at whatever injuries I have.

"How much do you remember about what happened to you?"

Instead of answering I look to Goat, since I don't know how much I'm allowed to say.

"it was just a patrol, it's fine."

With the all clear, I start recounting what I remember before I blacked out.

Once I've finished talking, the Medic nods in understanding, like he just confirmed something to himself.

I speak again before he can.

"what happened to me? And how long was I out?"

The Medic pauses what he was going to say, and instead, like I did earlier, looks to Goat for confirmation.

*Sigh*

"just cuz the kid's a kid, doesn't mean he's not a shinobi."

That's nice of him to say, I guess the Medic was worried how I'd react to hearing about my wounds.

"Well, when you got here, you had a tanto lodged through your liver, as well as a broken arm, where I hear you got kicked really hard, also some blunt force trauma on your back, from where you hit a tree, after getting kicked. You've been out for 28 hours now."

That... sounds bad.

"that. sounds bad."

Hound snorts of to the side, while the medic seems to have been expecting me to freak out or something.

"why does my head hurt then?"

"Ah, that, the tanto, it seems, was also laced with poison."

Oh, that sucks even more, I hope none of these injuries are permanent. Shit what if they are?

Suddenly worried about disability, I hastily speak up.

"none of this is permanent right?"

The Medic must have noticed my concern or expected the question because he was very quick to respond.

"No, no other than a scar, there won't be any long lasting physical damage."

Phew, that's a relief.

"However-

Fuck.

"the poison used was a nasty one, while we have already cleared it from your system, part of what makes it so nasty is that it's highly addictive."

Shit. I'm addicted to Heroin now?

The fuck?

Before I can really lament, the medic speaks up again.

"Thankfully, Tsunade-sama had already made a solution for this, I'm going to prescribe you with syringes that use a special formula, that while the injection won't actually have any side effects, what it 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 do, is stave off your urges, so you will have to take one every time the addiction gets too strong and over time you will need it less and less, until you are back in top shape."

Oh. oh

Ok.

So, what now?

I mean, this doesn't seem too bad, it could definitely be worse, and if I just pretend it's me getting a craving every now and then, then it doesn't even seem like a bad thing at all.

"Now, I'm going to perform some tests and then I want you to stay on bed rest for at least two more days."

After doing his tests and leaving, I am alone with Hound and Goat.

"so, what happens now?"

Goat is the one to answer my open question.

"now, you get the next few months off for recovery, being distracted during a mission could end bad for everyone after all."

Huh, get stabbed for a free vacation?

Before I can think further on that, Goat resumes speaking,

"and kid, i'm really sorry about this happening, i should have said something but i forgot you were so new and might not know, but in fights like that one, we usually assume that they have someone hiding and watching like us, and we're basically supposed to wait, so we can do what that Suna-nin did to you."

He's apologising? that's nice of him but,

"it's fine, i lived and i learned, no biggie."

"kid, you almost 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥, that's quite a 'biggie'"

Well, I've died before, and I'd say that turned out alright, all things considered.

"mah, almost shmalmost, i 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 die, and i think that's the important part, so it's fine."

He seems a little shocked at my nonplussed response, before he just shakes his head and leaves with a mutter about 'kids these days'.

When he's gone and it's just me and Hound, neither of us say anything for a moment, just enjoying the calmness.

"you almost died."

It wasn't a question, looking for a response, just a statement, so I stayed silent.

"i was worried, you know? seeing you lying so still on the ground with a sword buried in you."

Huh, I didn't think we were that close, I mean, to be honest, I have noticed myself drawing parallels between Hound and my brother from Before, but they're not 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 alike.

Still, even if he's trying to be serious about this, I don't really care. So with my most flirty voice, that is once again lost on the mask,

"awww hound, you worry for me? how flattering, while I'm sure you would have preferred if it was 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 sword re-arranging my guts, but I don't swing that way I'm afraid~."

Hound 𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 as if physically struck, before turning to me from where he was staring at the wall.

A beat passes.

Two.

And Hound just 𝘦𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵𝘴 in laughter. Which actually sounds super creepy in monotone.

"hahaha! what the fuck is wrong with you! haha."

I wince, again, as my own laughter pulls at my wounds and hurts.

After a moment Hound calms down,

"also, fuck you, i 'aint gay, nor am i into little kids."

I fake a gasp and place a hand on my chest,

"you 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵? wow, and here i was worrying about turning you down without hurting your feelings."

"seriously, fuck you, I don't need to be here."

And as if he just realised that himself, he nods and spins around, leaving immediately.

Thats fine, I need to think anyway.

The subject of my thoughts?

Medical Jutsu.

I was always planning on learning it, but I've never really had the time.

Now, however, not only do I have time, but I even have added incentive.

I'd really rather avoid being poisoned again, especially since addiction is probably one of the more 𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘦 poisons I could have been afflicted with.

On the subject, I wanted to learn about poisons too, they would no doubt be useful at least a few times in assassination missions, and I might be able to develop an immunity to some of them, or at 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 a general resistance of some kind.

I spend the rest of the day doing very little, just messing around with my chakra, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧𝘧? I doubt it.

Having chakra is 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and I love it.

For the next day it's much of the same, Medics show up every now and then, and Bear showed up once, with an empty report and a pencil, so I had to do that still.

Then after my bed rest was up, me and the other ANBU that were injured or had to leave in this time all went back to Konoha together, our replacements already at the base.

The trip was quick, but with frequent stops, since many of us were injured and there was no need to aggravate that too much.

It was also a mostly silent affair.

When we got back, me and the other injured first had to show up at the hospital for a check-up, before most of us were dismissed to do our own thing.

At some point I got my prescription, and an ANBU came with a scroll, telling me I have a three-month leave.

First thing I did after leaving the hospital was head home, I'm hungry, and tired after the travel.

Heading home, I slip in through my window and slowly and painfully change into something more comfortable.

I only sense one other chakra signature in the house, and I'm not good enough at sensing yet to tell if it's my mum or dad or a random stranger.

Not that it really matters, as I walk down the stairs and see that it's my mum, who's looking 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦.

Not going to lie, I totally forgot she was pregnant.

"Heya, guess who's back?"

My voice jolts her out of what she was doing (is she knitting?) and when she turns around sees me, her face breaks into a smile, and she tries to get up, to hug me I assume, but stumbles slightly, and I am by her side in an instant, stabilising her on her feet.

"Thank you sweety! Being pregnant sucks!"

Woman, you're too old to pout.

She goes to give me a hug and I make the mistake of thinking that since she's pregnant she wouldn't bear hug me.

I was wrong and 'OWWW'.

I disappear from her arms in place of what she was knitting. She looks a little confused for a moment as to why I've turned into a scarf, before looking to me.

Now she looks like she's going to cry, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯?

*Sniffle*

"Does my baby not want hugs anymore?"

*Sigh*

"It's not that, you were just hugging me too hard."

Saying so I lift my shirt to show off my bandaged torso.

She gasps at the sight of it, not that you can actually see the wound, and I spend the rest of the day assuring her that, 𝘺𝘦𝘴, I 𝘢𝘮 fine, 𝘯𝘰 I 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 need to go to the hospital, I've already been.

Only when she finally calms down and insists, I stay seated as she makes me something to eat, an offer I don't reject. She's pregnant, but not quite yet at the point where she can't move around at all. Does my dad finally arrive.

Then I have to spend even 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 time reassuring him that 𝘺𝘦𝘴, I'm 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦.

Eventually I'm able to eat, following by a nice rest in my lovely fluffy bed.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Not much to say really, finally gonna get started on medical jutsu tho.

I don't believe in pay walling chapters, and I never will, however, if you do want to support me and my ability to pay rent, then I created a ko-fi so please consider donating! even just a pound, of course only if you're financially stable please

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works