A Murder Wizards Adventure

You know, it's really stupid to me that by just knowing the right hand signs anyone summoned by the Edo Tensei can simply dissolve the contract that gives the summoner control and just be immortal.

I still don't like doing hand signs, but this is a lot more complicated than elemental transformations so I didn't really have much choice but to use them.

Of course, I am still weaker than when I was alive, but I think the endlessly regenerating chakra makes up for that.

However, after my little fight with Hanari I've realised that I am glad I already planned to properly resurrect myself because it just wasn't.. it wasn't fun.

I think I know why I didn't enjoy it too, it's just not a battle without raging blood and a pounding heart.

Right now I have neither of those things.

But that won't remain the case for long.

I smile as I double check that I am at maximum stealth, Sage mode making me invisible to just about everyone.

Even against other Sages or even the Rinnegan.

Though, they will likely still be able to sense me somewhat, as Hanari and Minato before her have shown me, so the Rinnegan will likely also be able to sense my location.

But that doesn't really matter, since my stealth in itself is going to be a bait here.

You see, right now is something I have been planning for for a while now.

Granted I didn't plan to die when I did, but I made sure to have a backup plan, which was why I buried a vial of my blood in a random spot in the forest outside of Konoha and showed Mantis where it was.

I also buried it with a note, telling him to dig it out in about thirteen years.

The note was simply instructions to ensure that my blood got into Kabuto's hands, resulting in me being here now.

Then there is my full body tattoos.

Their purpose wasn't simply to make me look cool, since I can do that well enough without tattoos.

You see, everyone knows that the key to ultimate power is magical eyeballs, but the only people who can properly wield them need to have the DNA of the Uchiha and Senju.

It was easy enough getting a sample of Fugaku's DNA, but as I was thinking about how to get Hashirama's DNA, my dear little daughter was born, the key that I needed.

Then it was just a case of designing a Fuinjutsu that could mix certain parts of DNA together should someone be resurrected.

Thankfully, Tsunade is my wife, so it was easy enough to talk with her about it as a 'thought experiment'.

Because even if I'm good with medical Jutsu, Tsunade is way better than me and helped me finalise my design even if she didn't know it.

All I need now is to revive myself.

Which brings me to now.

I am watching Obito Uchiha fighting with Naruto, Guy, Kakashi and B.

All I need is to wait for the opportune moment.

That moment comes when Guy tries to tackle Tobi, only to fly through him and away while Naruto jumps back to avoid a grab and Kakashi is kicked away.

The moment Tobi is isolated, I appear in front of him and activate the seals on my fingers, making them become more than they were.

I am fairly certain Tobi recognises that someone has appeared in front of him, but he can't see me.

Before the others can restart the fight, I reach forward with both hands for his face, intending to slip my fingers around his eyes until they pierce his brain and rip out the resulting corpses eye's.

Predictably and as I had hoped, Tobi relies on his mystical eyeballs of fuck once again, except my hands do not phase through his skull.

Instead, with a fleshy squelch, my fingers bury deep into his head, all the way to his brain, killing him instantly, and I have pulled my hands out with his eyes before he even has the chance to activate Izanagi.

Tobi's lifeless body falls to the ground and the others all freeze in shock, looking around as if this is some trick.

I put both my new eyeballs in my seals for the moment then, being as merciful as I am, I reveal myself to them.

"Yo! I saw you guys struggling over here and figured I'd give y'all a hand or two. Hey Kakashi, fancy seeing you here, been a while eh?"

My joviality catches them off guard for a moment which I use to throw a pair of special somethings from my tattoos into the Ten Tails' mouth, causing it to roar and start transforming.

I was close friends with the Jinchurriki of the Kyuubi for years, it wasn't difficult to get his chakra, and my little detour to Kumo before I died gave me some of the Eight Tails' chakra.

Then it was just a matter of putting them in a pair of chakra batteries, essentially cloning the chakra like a vat would flesh.

Now I only need a few minutes for the Ten Tails to be reborn.

"Hey! Who are you and what did you just do!" Naruto shouts at me, not attacking yet.

I just raise my arms in mock surrender with a smile on my face.

"Woah there, calm down friend. Aren't we all friends here? There's no reason to get shouty when we're expecting guests." 

As if to punctuate my words, another Shinobi arrives who had been loitering around nearby, waiting for this moment.

"Hey! Who're you!" Naruto shouts once again.

Mantis ignores him however and simply walks up to me with conviction.

I smile to Naruto as Mantis approaches me.

"This is Mantis, my most trusted friend." I say, taking the Rinnegan out of my seals.

Not wasting any time, I rip out one of Mantis' eyes and put the Rinnegan in it's place, bursting some Sage enhanced medical chakra to get it to connect properly instantly.

Still without wasting any time, so that no one can stop us, Mantis goes through the set of hand seals to activate the Gedo Art of Rinne Rebirth on me.

A beat passes.

Mantis falls to the ground like a puppet without strings.

I breathe.

Then, I smile.

"Finally." I can't help but say out loud as I feel the blood in my veins and the beating of my heart.

Finally, I live again, better than ever.

I can feel the difference in strength between the me of now and the me when I died.

Granted, it's not a massive difference, but Senju and Uchiha genes sure do give a guy a rush.

As the others around me stand in shocked silence, I reach down to reclaim the Rinnegan only this time, now that I am alive again, I take out my own eye, replacing it with the Rinnegan.

At the same time I take out Tobi's Mangekyou and replace my other eye with it.

A burst of my Medical Cloak later and I can see again.

Holy. Fuck.

Are you telling me, that literally every Uchiha could see the world like this?

There are so many colours, so much detail that I couldn't possibly have explained it to the me of ten seconds ago.

People really aren't born equal, because this is absurd.

I can feel new instincts making themselves known to me, instincts on how to use my new ocular powers.

"OI! Stop ignoring me! Who the hell are you and what the hell did you just do!?" Naruto brings me out of my thoughts with his unnecessarily loud voice.

I turn to face him with my new eyes and give him a short, mocking bow. Though I think the subtlety is lost on him.

"Greetings, I am Hanabira Haruno Senju, Bloody Wraith of Konoha and former deceased husband of Tsunade Senju, father of the current Hokage too it seems. Pleasure to meet you."

Naruto let's his guard down slightly hearing my introduction but still seems weary.

"What did you do to the Ten Tails?" Kakashi asks me, making us all look over to the beast in question.

Looks like it's almost done.

"I poisoned it, just give it a minute and the thing will drop dead, promise." I even wink at them to make it more believable.

For some reason they seem sceptical.

"Even if it is going to die anyway, there is no reason we shouldn't attack it now just to be sure! That would be the youthful thing to do!" Guy yells with a smile and a thumbs up and crouches to jump after the beast.

Only for a beam of light to pass through where he was standing, dissipating away to reveal that Guy as well as everything around him in a five metre radius is simply gone, leaving a long line carved into the ground all the way to the horizon.

Slowly, almost mechanically, the other three present turn to look where the light came from.

They turn to look at me, my arm raised, still sparkling slightly with electricity, not even bothering to hide that it was me.

Guy meanwhile, well, he's rather quite dead.

Reduced to atoms, one might say.

Who would have guessed that the Deva Path would have such amazing synergy with my Railgun?

That was sarcasm by the way.

My Railgun is literally based on attractive and repulsive forces, so the Deva Path is simply a modifier to it's power.

"Oh my! Where did that attack come from! Why are you all looking over here? Ahh! Is the bad guy behind me! Save meee!" I wail dramatically to mock them.

Predictably, they aren't very happy about it and rush to attack me, but I don't even need Naruto's or B's chakra, so I just enter my nifty new dimension for a moment.

I spend half a minute whistling a tune to myself as I test out my new abilities to get a proper hang of them beyond instinct.

Then I leave and reappear on the battlefield, right as the Ten Tails starts transforming.

In the distance, I sense a powerful chakra signature approaching that I can only assume is Madara, so I don't waste ant time, not wanting him to ruin everything right in the final act.

I rush up to the Ten Tails as it rampages and the Allied forces struggle in vain to stop it.

Landing on the beasts head, I don't bother to monolog or bask in my victory. That can be done later.

Instead, I simply seal it away inside of me, eyeball instinct guiding me as I become the Jinchurriki of the Ten Tails.

Man this shit's too easy.

I feel myself bloat from the sheer amount of chakra entering me, but I know it's psychosomatic so I ignore it.

My world goes dark as a cocoon of chakra surrounds me.

Then I feel myself start to change.

It hurts, a lot, but it's hard for anything to hurt more than literally melting, so I bear the pain without issue.

After a moment, it is done.

I feel a faint pressure on my mind, but my now redundant tattoo on the back of my neck works to keep it from affecting me.

I feel.. amazing.

Like I could do anything.

It's intoxicating.

I revel in my newfound strength for a moment before I open my eyes and look around.

The Allied Shinobi Forces are all looking at me in a mix of shock, confusion and most of all, fear.

It just makes me smile even more seeing all these mortals fearing me as they should.

Then I spy Madara, not fighting with the others despite being their enemy, and they are not fighting him either.

Madara opens his mouth to speak, but before he can we get even more arrivals, namely the four resurrected Hokage.

Minato recognises me almost immediately and is the first to speak in the oppressive silence.

"Hana! What is going on? You're alive?" His voice rife with confusion questions me.

I just give him a genuinely happy smile, as I am happy.

"It's a recent development." I admit.

Almost there. 

My plan is so almost done that I can't stop smiling. 

I can practically taste my victory.

______________________________________________

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Advanced chapters with the links below! Keep in mind that Ko-fi is better, Pat/reon is just more popular!

V Takes a cut of donations V

pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash)

V Does not take a cut V

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses