A Murder Wizards Adventure

My first thought is 'why the fuck am I under water?'.

Then the knowledge of my entire life is crammed into my mind in an instant and I remember everything.

Who I am, as well as the fact that I died.

Shit. That definitely was not a part of the plan.

But hey, I can work with this, so long as nothing else has gone awry it should all be fine in the end.

As I launch myself above the water I inspect my body and chakra.

The first thing I check is that yes, I still have my tattoos and everything I had stored inside of them.

The second thing I do is expel some chakra and marvel at how it practically instantaneously returned.

Damn, that is a handy trick.

But even with that, I still feel weaker than when I died.

My overall chakra capacity has dropped quite a bit and I even feel physically weaker.

I think that last part is because this body isn't as suffused with chakra as my actual body was.

There is also the connection in my mind that no doubt leads back to the summoner.

I just ignore it and the impulses it is forcing on me.

It's not like I have anything to say to him after all, there is still some time until my plan fully takes affect.

It is kind of lame that my skin is all cracked, but hey, I can deal. At least I still have my glorious hair.

The impulse in my head pulses and forces me to stop standing around doing nothing so I turn to focus on the assembled Shinobi in front of me.

It is quite an impressive sight truth be told, I'd estimate around ten thousand strong- wait a fucking minute.

Is that... Hayate?

Hehehehehahaha.

Oh, this will be fun for sure.

But I can't just straight up approach him no, I am the bad guy right now so I need him to approach me in order to stop me, naturally that means I need to get to killing, the impulse of control demand it!

Not to mention it should prove fun fighting this many people without even having to worry about getting hit.

Not that any of them will be able to land a hit, I think to myself as I turn invisible and make my chakra as well as any other way to sense me disappear.

Time to retraumatise a Genin.

Meanwhile, as Hana starts cutting down Shinobi after Shinobi, invisible except for the trail of corpses following after him, an interesting scene started playing out in the Allied Forces HQ starting from when Hana got summoned.

"The first division has encountered the enemy. An army of Zetsu as expected as well as some very strong chakra signatures."

Ao speaks up before focusing on the chakra signatures of the rest of the battle while Inoichi continues where he left off.

"According to reports, the reanimated forces consist of Kakuzu, Hizashi Hyuuga, the Gold and Silver brothers as well as Asuma Sarutobi and..."

Inoichi pauses, knowing who is in the room with him, but finishes his report anyway.

"As well as Dan Kato and Hanabira Haruno." His words delivered like an executioners verdict bring silence to the room as everyone looks towards the Hokage and her mother who stands besides her.

Both of them show faces of shock, especially prevalent in Hanari who was looking to be the epitome of relaxed only a moment prior.

Tsunade goes into shock on hearing that her late lover and husband are both among the reanimated enemy, Hanari meanwhile jumps to her feet as a fire burns in here eyes.

"I'm going to provide support to the First Division." It was not a question and the look she sends everyone is like she is daring them to try and stop her.

As it looks like someone is going to speak up, Hanari beats them to it by speaking again.

"Kaa-san will take over as intermediary Hokage, her word is equal to mine. My Tou-san is not someone the First Division can face, if I don't go they will all die." She commands, not taking no for an answer.

And without waiting for a response Hanari turns and starts running for the coast.

Now, back to Hanabira.

After about a few dozen minutes of me killing weak ass Shinobi, someone of note finally shows themselves by throwing a slew of weapons at me that I have to deflect due to sheer quantity as they cover the land all around me.

Since I don't actually need to kill anyone here and am just passing the time, I decide to reveal myself and undo all my stealth.

Across from me stands a cute girl with twin hair buns.

"Heya cutie, the names Hanabira. Would you mind telling me how long I've been dead? As well as explaining the current situation? I must say this is a novel experience." I speak politely, since there is no need to be rude.

"wha?" She flusters, looking confused about the way I am casually stopping to talk with her.

"What? I died a few minutes ago as far as I am concerned and I'm being forced to fight but that doesn't mean I want to, so I can delay things by just talking." I completely ignore the fact that I didn't bother to try talking with all the people I killed earlier.

She also seems to ignore that as she answers my earlier questions.

"It's been about fifteen years or so since you died and right now you are a part of an army of the dead brought back to life and Zetsu assembled by Madara Uchiha as a part of the Fourth Great Shinobi War." She explains.

Quick and to the point, nice.

"Huh, neat. Then my daughter should be about twenty now. Say, do you know anything about Tsunade or our daughter Hanari? Also, dodge left." As I finish my words, I shoot a low level Railgun at her without really meaning to.

This is uncomfortable, but I must bear with it for a moment.

With my warning she easily dodges, though that doesn't stop my attack so it still kills a bunch of people as it keeps going, but they are canon fodder for a reason so nobody cares.

At least it killed a number of Zetsu too.

"Uh, yeah. Hanari-sama is the Fifth Hokage since a few years ago when the Third died. Oh yeah, Minato became the Fourth Hokage shortly after you died, but then he died not long later along side his wife. I heard they were friends of yours. Tsunade is fine and helps Hanari as an advisor. Oh and my name is Tenten by the way."

Hanari became the Fifth Hokage?

I suppose it makes sense she would take the mantle over Tsunade if she was strong enough, which with Wood release she sure should be or I would be disappointed in her.

"Dodge forward and black behind you." I say before I rush forward and appear behind her in a blink, but she is already moving forward before I arrive thanks to my warning and my tanto meets a blade of her own, sending her crashing away to roll on the ground.

It's a good thing that I can simply hold back without the compulsions forcing me to go all out.

I mean, it's not like I need to go Sage mode or enhance my blades with wind chakra in order to beat them, so it doesn't force me to. Otherwise my blade would have cut through hers and land a good hit.

"Sorry about that, I have to attack every now and then so I can keep talking. Say, how is Hanari? I know I am asking a lot of questions, but I would like to know how she has grown. Duck!"

Before Tenten can answer my question my body suddenly forces itself forward, weapon drawn to cut her in half which she blocks, not having the time to duck, only for me to summon another tanto to my other hand and swing it for her heat.

Right before my blade makes contact with her skin it clashes with another sword making sparks fly.

"Hayate! You sure have grown. Now, I am being compelled to fight more now than before, so show me how much you have improved." I say as I jump back to give them time to gather themselves.

I don't go invisible either, because I really don't need to try against these two.

"Can you give us any weaknesses to exploit?" Tenten asks me as she readies her weapons.

I suppose I should handicap myself further if I want this to pass as much time as I need.

"Sure. I mainly use tanto and rarely use kunai but sometimes use a katana. I can summon weapons to my hands whenever I want so treat me as if I have the reach of someone duel wielding katanas as I do not have any longer blades. I can hold back enough that you don't need to worry about any Ninjutsu either."

They nod their heads to show they understand and prepare for the fight to actually begin.

I make the first move by dashing between the two of them and striking them both at the same time, sending them both flying away because of my strength, or their lack of.

"Come on Hayate, I trained you better than this, impress me!" I yell as I charge Hayate and engage in a short bout of swordsmanship with a katana in hand, easily landing several small cuts on him, just like our spars back when he was my Genin.

I am 'forced' back when Tenten comes crashing down with a really heavy looking hammer where I was a moment earlier.

I give Hayate's bleeding body a disappointed look.

"It's just like when you were little eh? How are things anyway. Find a nice girl to settle down with?"

Hayate flinches at the look, it no doubt bringing back unpleasant memories of the last time he was trying to kill me.

"Yeah actually. Her name is Yugao and we actually had a kid recently, nearly a year ago now. Ibiki became the head of T&I and Tokara got the restaurant he wanted." He warily explains to me, ready for me to attack again.

"That's nice to know. Shit, I just remembered the most important question. What is my daughters love life like? Is she in a relationship? Has anyone broke her heart that I need to kill? How strong even is she now?"

I ask, genuinely curious about all of those things.

Only instead of them answering, it seems I am going to get my answers from the source as a human meteor crashes down next to us.

When the dust clears I am greeted by the sight of a beautiful woman who clearly takes after me in about every way except for the eyes.

We are even wearing the same long cardigan, though I can't help but notice the mask on her waist.

I see you have been looking after my daughter faithfully Hound. Thank you for that.

"Tou-san!!!" She cries out as soon as she lays eyes on me, making to rush forward and hug me but stopping herself as she remembers that I have been reanimated.

"Hanari. My little Merlin, look at you. All grown up. You look amazing by the way, now as I was just asking these guys over there. Do you have a boyfriend? Has anyone dared to break your heart? Am I a grandad?"

I ask that, half expecting her to blush and call me an idiot or something, but she surprises me by giving me an incredibly familiar smirk.

Familiar because I have seen it in reflections so many time.

"Mah mah, no one I've dated so far has been good enough for me to keep around, they tend to get boring after a while. Also hell no, I make sure to use contraceptives all the time. I ain't settling down and having kids. Sorry about that by the way, but it seems like the bloodline ends with me."

No one says anything for a moment as my face goes completely blank and only the distant sound of battle can be heard.

Right as Hanari starts to fidget from my stare, I burst out in pure laughter.

I laugh so hard that I fall to the ground and have to hold my stomach.

It's just so funny how much of a copy of me she is.

Seriously, her response must be word for word exactly what I would have said in her position.

Ahhh. It's good to see her again.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

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