A Murder Wizards Adventure

Walking out of the Forest of Death under the light of the seventh day, I feel like absolute shit.

'Why did I ever think this was a good idea? This sucks... so bad'

I feel sick. (How was I supposed to know those berries weren't edible?)

I am hungry. (I didn't trust any plants enough to eat them after the berries, and small game is lacking in this damn forest)

I feel like one big walking bruise. (Fought a bear. Don't want to talk about it)

And now here I am, in the same clearing from a week ago, only this time looking like I just crawled through a swamp. Which in all honesty isn't that far from the truth.

'I Only Know Three Jutsu Goddamnit!'

Around me are at least half of my fellow examiners, weather the others were caught or died I am honestly too tired to even care slightly about.

I'm only slightly mollified by the fact that my fellows look just as much like shit as I do. Schadenfreude at its finest I suppose.

Standing tall and well rested and... is that smugness I feel? Is Lion. Looking like he just got up from the best nap in the world and wearing freshly cleaned clothes, as if just to mock us. Which is probably the reason to be fair.

As much as I want to be mad about it I'd probably do the same in his position, doesn't mean I have to be happy though.

"congatulations kiddies, you six have past the preliminary testing, from now until I say otherwise your names are,-

Here Lion starts pointing at my fellow examinees

"one, two, three, four, five-

Before finally his finger lands on me.

"Six"

...

Is that a subtle dig at my age? if it is then, well honestly it is pretty funny so fair enough.

After seeing each of us give our various tired acknowledgments to our new names, six ANBU approach us, one for each, and put their hands on our shoulders, for once I am ready for the shunshin.

However, I did already feel like crap so it's a struggle to keep what little food I've actually eaten in my stomach.

When I actually take in my surroundings, I see that I'm in the room I got changed in before, at least I assume it is, since my clothes are still on the bed, seemingly untouched.

But really once I see the bed all thoughts of anything leave my head and not even bothering to get out of my dirty clothes, I just jump onto the fluffy goodness that is a bed.

I'm out before my head even hits the pillow.

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I am awoken by increasingly loud banging on my door and after taking a moment to wonder why I can't rub my eyes, I remember that I'm still wearing a mask, and that I'm in ANBU (headquarters?).

The banging gets louder.

"ALRIGHT, SHUT UP ALREADY!!"

They finally stop with the infernal banging, 'What time even is it?'

"hurry up six, you've got two minutes"

And with that muffled voice suddenly I'm moving. my clothes are still super dirty, and since my old clothes were on the bed when i jumped on it, they're now dirty too.

A quick check of the wardrobe shows that 𝘯𝘰 there aren't any clean clothes there.

And I haven't quite managed to get enough fine control of my water elemental transformation to use it to clean myself yet, the best I could do is just dropping a bunch of water on myself. But I also don't have enough control of my fire to dry myself without getting second degree burns.

'ah fuck it, it's their fault I look like this anyway'

Deciding that, I open the door to an ANBU impatiently tapping his foot, with a mask I couldn't even hope to guess the animal of. 'I'm not a zoologist, gimme a break!'.

He seems to take a moment to take in my stunning apparel.

"yes yes, I'm very beautiful, but if you keep staring so intensely, you'll make me blush"

Saying that I put my masked face in my hands and twist around myself as if i was a blushing schoolgirl.

*Sigh*

"great, so you're one of 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 types huh. whatever, six, follow me, the others are waiting."

Indeed, I am one of 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 types, hehe. I can't wait until I go through some puberty, so that I can actually start flirting with people that aren't paedophiles or make me feel like a paedophile.

That said I do make sure to follow whatever his name is-san as he leads me through some unnecessarily complicated corridors that even though I don't want to even bother trying to remember them, I also don't trust that he won't just lead me in circles. So, I count the lefts and rights.

And other than one small loop de loop that we did, it was mostly just unnecessarily long, like he took the scenic route, which considering were supposedly late, must just be a habit, or this really was the only path and ANBU just have a lot less urgency than I would have thought.

Eventually however we arrive at what seems to be a cafeteria, and 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺.

Thankfully there seems to be a buffet of sorts set up on the table where my fellow numbers, and Lions posse are seated.

Nobody's saying anything, and nobodies touched the food either, which promptly changes once I sit down and immediately start digging into the food available. (I used a henge on the lower part of my face so they wouldn't see anything even when I lift my mask up to eat).

Everyone is staring at me, but I couldn't care less, after eating poorly cooked fox and bugs for a week this tastes divine, and its only on my third serving I belatedly realise that no one was eating, probably as some precaution about the food being poisoned.

So being the ever-merciful man (child) that I am, I make sure to grab some from each plate available, and once I've tasted everything, I sense my chakra in my stomach, and nothing seems like it's causing me harm. (I have no idea if this is a viable method of checking for poison).

I turn to the rest of the table, that's just been staring at me the whole time by the way,

"pretty sure nothings poisoned."

My piece said I go back to ignoring them and gorging myself on sweet, sweet, glorious food.

A few other numbers seem to trust my words enough and start eating too, though with much less gusto. Numbers two and three both abstain however.

"haaah, that was some good stuff, my compliments to the chef, and my thanks for not using poison."

My words get a few quiet chuckles before Lion decides to finally start speaking.

"well kiddies, you six are now ANBU, now let's discuss what that means, for now you won't be taking any missions, first is six months of mandatory training. today you will go home for whatever preparations you have to do, then for the next six months you will not see anything outside of these walls. Ocelot will show you the way. dismissed."

And just like that my life in ANBU has officially begun.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Wooo, things will finally be kicking off!

I will probably only do a few chapters on his training, Hanabira has a LOT of deficiencies he needs to solve, from proper excersise and formal taijutsu training (he only won in the academy test cuz tameki was a genin corps, hes not very talented) to ninjutsu, since he only knows the academy three, and he needs someone to talk to about his stealth and sensing.... damn he needs a lot of work, either way i will adress each of his faults (probably) before skipping to the end of the six months where he can start doing missions!

P.S @Matthew_Pelkey, you were my first ever power stone, and i may be early to say this but i love you, will you marry me? and maybe stone me some more? *Blushes* <3